Han Yeoul, whose face turns red and can’t even make proper eye contact but still says everything he needs to say. How can I want to let him go when he’s like that?
“Honey.”
I approached Han Yeoul as he put on his shoes and quietly pulled him into my arms. I kissed his cheek while sprinkling just a little, a very little bit of pheromone.
“Have a good day, honey.”
“You’re really playing the devoted wife.”
Uncle Irang clicked his tongue at me wearing an apron. Uncle, who visited our house at the crack of dawn, encountered Han Yeoul leaving with a flushed face and looked at him once, looked at me once, then shook his head as if he roughly knew what we’d done.
“I am the devoted wife. Do you know how thrilling and difficult it is to see off your working husband?”
“If it’s thrilling, it’s thrilling; if it’s difficult, it’s difficult—what’s this ‘thrilling and difficult’?”
“It’s thrilling to see Han Yeoul being pretty, and difficult thinking that pretty thing will go out and struggle.”
Uncle Irang shook his ears as if he’d heard something he shouldn’t have.
“I came because you asked me to come early in the morning, and now you’re making me see all kinds of strange things.”
“Did you eat breakfast?”
“I ate. I also have a devoted wife at home.”
“I haven’t eaten.”
I gulped down the ABC juice Han Yeoul left behind and grabbed simple food. I took out a bowl of brown rice and a few simple side dishes in their entirety and laid them out on the table, and Uncle Irang clicked his tongue.
“Seonjae.”
“Yes?”
“You really look like my mother eating alone after sending Father off to work and the kids to school.”
“…What does that mean?”
“Nothing. It’s just a thing.”
While I ate, Uncle Irang sat in front and picked up a few stir-fried anchovies with his fingers to eat.
“…Want me to give you rice?”
“No.”
Uncle sucked on his fingers, got up from his seat, brewed coffee, then held up the cup to savor the coffee aroma.
Funny. Just a moment ago he was picking at stir-fried anchovies.
“What beans do you use?”
“What do you mean what? The ones I always give you, Uncle.”
“But why doesn’t it taste like this when I brew it at home? It’s strange…”
“Other people’s food always tastes better.”
I quickly finished eating and got ready to go out. I called Uncle Irang because there was a place we needed to go together. I could drive, but there were many things to do while riding in the car. Plus… there were things to check.
“Shall we go?”
Uncle Irang gulped down the remaining coffee and stood up from his seat.
“It’s been a while, Seonjae.”
“It’s been a while, Yeonwoo hyung. No, Professor.”
Oh Yeonwoo, who smiled warmly while patting my head as I greeted him with a smile, was once someone who promised marriage with my second older brother. So, he’s an omega.
Korea University Hospital, Genetics Medicine Department Professor Oh Yeonwoo.
The only omega my second brother once relied on and loved.
He was mine and Han Yeoul’s attending physician. As a doctor who has always watched over us since we manifested, I respected Professor Oh Yeonwoo. Even now, when I can’t freely show that, I always deeply respect him in my heart. If only it hadn’t been for my mistake back then, my second brother wouldn’t have been hurt so badly.
The fact that he knew everything I did and still treated me the same as before, as if nothing happened, made him an adult.
“Come often.”
“What does it mean to come to the hospital often, Professor? Isn’t it better not to come to the hospital often?”
I seemed nonchalant enough to make silly jokes, but I was still cautious about dealing with him. Probably for life.
“Come to visit, to visit.”
Yeonwoo hyung smiled and ruffled my hair again. After Han Yeoul, isn’t this person probably the one who likes ruffling my hair the most?
“I’m not a puppy.”
“Aigoo, okay, okay.”
In Yeonwoo hyung’s eyes, I still seem to be a clueless high school student.
“I’ll have you know I’m a married man.”
“Aigoo, yes, elder.”
Yeonwoo hyung smiled and looked at the chart displayed on the monitor. Today was the quarterly genetics medicine checkup. Fine wrinkles formed on his brow.
“The pheromone instability seems to have gotten better…”
Watching him move the mouse while frowning without saying anything made my mouth go dry.
The fact that I sprayed pheromones to keep other alphas away from Han Yeoul actually had some impact on me too, so my pheromones were unstable for a while.
Actually, if Han Yeoul hadn’t known I kept spraying like that, it wouldn’t have mattered, but since he found out, my pheromones became unstable as I tried to contain what I used to release freely every time.
“When something that was outputting 100 from your body suddenly only outputs 20, the rest will boil and bubble inside, won’t it? No, if you keep going like this, you’re really in trouble. No matter how dominant you are, it ultimately puts a strain on your body.”
That’s why I asked to be allowed to mark him at least once a day. Since I can’t reduce it all at once, I had no choice but to maintain it at least once to put less strain on my body.
That was also for Han Yeoul. In fact, as soon as I withdrew my pheromones, he suffered from a heat cycle.
“You don’t knot at all?”
I was momentarily flustered by Yeonwoo hyung’s question. Coming in like this all of a sudden? Even if he’s my doctor, does he ask about things like this?
“What, why no answer?”
Yeonwoo hyung, who had turned his gaze from the monitor to me, burst out laughing.
“Aigoo, elder. Are you embarrassed?”
“…”
“Hey, I’m a doctor. Not just your hyung, but a doctor. I’m asking for medical opinion, so answer faithfully, patient Yoo Seonjae.”
“…Yeah.”
As if he knew it, Yeonwoo hyung looked at the chart once more, then sighed and looked at me. I’d rather not have these conversations with Yeonwoo hyung if possible, but why is Yeonwoo hyung my doctor, and why is his specialty genetics medicine?
“Isn’t it too one-sided not to even knot because your partner has a high probability of infertility?”
“…”
“Did you ask Yeoul’s opinion?”
I had nothing to say. As he said, I never separately asked for Han Yeoul’s opinion.
“You’re both each other’s first, right?”
“…Yeah.”
“Is it okay to live like that for life?”
“What’s wrong with it? It’ll just be painful anyway.”
I muttered while picking at a hangnail on my fingertip. That’s literally it. Since it’s an act for pregnancy, everyone endures it even though it’s painful, but when I have no such intention, is there any reason for me to inflict that pain on Yeoul? I’m not heartless enough to inflict unrewarded pain on my omega, whom I only want to give pleasant things and only want to make smile, just for my own satisfaction.
“Hmm…”
Yeonwoo hyung pulled his chair closer in front of me. At a distance where our knees touched, he stared at my face for a long time.
“You’re alike, but not alike.”
“What?”
“You and Yeongjae.”
When my second brother’s name came out of Yeonwoo hyung’s mouth, I instantly had nothing to say. Because what I did was among the reasons they broke up. I’ll probably be a sinner to those two for life.
“There you go again. Why do you get gloomy whenever Yeongjae’s story comes up? I told you it’s not your fault.”
“Still…”
“Enough of that story. Listen, Seonjae.”
Yeonwoo hyung reached out and clasped my hand. It was a warm and soft hand.
“Don’t think that an alpha knotting is just pursuing their own satisfaction.”
“Isn’t it? The omega on the receiving end will just be in pain anyway.”
“No?”
Yeonwoo hyung smiled with his eyes folded prettily and said:
“What omega would dislike their alpha reaching climax because of them? Painful? Of course it’s painful. But, will it really be only painful?”
“…”
“This is what I’m saying as a close hyung, not as a doctor, Seonjae. It’s not like that. Omegas also want their alphas to knot them. Whether a child is conceived or not.”
Is that really true?
“At least I did.”
“…”
“I did. Because those moments were good.”
Are those moments Yeonwoo hyung is talking about referring to his time with my second brother? Probably. My heart became turbulent.
“Ow!”
“That’s why I’m saying don’t decide everything alone, you brat.”
Stars flashed before my eyes. Yeonwoo hyung muttered while blowing on the hand that flicked my forehead.
“The kid’s head is really hard.”
“What are the chances that an omega with less than 1% pregnancy probability and weak stamina can safely give birth to a baby, Uncle?”
“Huh?”
I asked Uncle Irang in the car on the way home after going to the hospital and stopping by several clients.
“Probability is just probability. There’s nothing ‘certain’ in the world without experiencing it. How can I guarantee it? I haven’t experienced that situation.”
“I suppose…”
“But what’s certain is, they become strong when they carry a child.”
“They become strong?”
“Look at my wife. She couldn’t move properly for the last three months, hospitalized the entire time due to pregnancy toxemia, but she protected the child. Well, I don’t know about trait-holders, but it must be the same, right? Becoming a parent.”
I don’t know.
I’m still scared. Just as I was born after devouring my omega father, I’m afraid Yeoul will be devoured by what comes out from inside me too.
Ah… I miss him so much.
“Uncle. Stop the car there, in front of Yeoul’s company.”
“What? You said you have one more meeting.”
“Forget it. I can postpone it. I miss my bride so much I can’t stand it.”
“Damn. Geez, I wondered why you were so serious.”
Even though he said that, Uncle stopped the car precisely in front of the company, watched me enter Yeoul’s company, and then turned the car around.
