Kiss, who had been looking at Deus with an emotionless face, rose to his feet while holding Ash in his arms. Then he casually passed by. At that indifferent reaction, Deus chuckled. Then, as if he wouldn’t let him leave gracefully, he tilted his body slightly to the side.
Their gazes clashed fiercely. Breaking the sharp silence, Deus spoke first.
“Among women, the least attractive man is one who doesn’t keep his promises.”
“……”
“Didn’t your dead mother teach you that?”
“Move aside a bit. I’m too exhausted from making such a mess to have the energy for a verbal fight.”
Kiss, who had adjusted his hold on Ash, gestured with his eyes for him to move. A smile spread across Deus’s lips at Kiss’s attitude of blatantly provoking him. A ghostly gleam glistened over his golden eyes.
“Revenge… wasn’t it something dramatic like that you wanted to try? What are you planning to do going forward?”
“Well, I never said I accepted that deal. You just got excited on your own and ran wild.”
“Oppa, I’m really not in the mood for wordplay today.”
“Deus.”
Kiss, who had called his name in a low voice, met his gaze directly. A calm voice continued.
“I hate to admit it, but unlike you, I’m unlucky. I’ve never obtained anything by chance.”
“……”
“That’s why I’ve given up one thing to gain another every single time until now. I believed that if I obtained something without any sacrifice, it would definitely come back as something bad later.”
At the candid self-confession uncharacteristic of Kiss, the smile faded from Deus’s lips. Kiss, reading Deus’s atmosphere that suggested he would absolutely not move aside until he got back what was stolen, obediently handed over Ash. Deus, holding Ash in his arms, finally stepped aside.
“But at some point, I thought this: Why must I necessarily give up one thing? I can just get both in my hands.”
Kiss, who had been looking at Deus with a relaxed expression, bowed briefly.
“So while I appreciate the sentiment, I’ll decline the deal you proposed before. My late mother taught me that one thing properly. That you shouldn’t compromise with beasts.”
Deus’s hand, embracing Ash, froze stiff. Kiss, smiling faintly at Deus’s reaction, approached closer with his hands clasped behind his back. Then he whispered in a regretful voice.
“One last thing to tell you: that kid was the one who asked to be held first. I just played along. It was rather pitiful, how desperately he struggled to be held by a man who doesn’t even like him. Well, anyway, work hard.”
Even he thought it was a clumsy lie, but it was enough to throw a stone into Deus’s inner world, not knowing what had happened before. Even if Deus hurt Ash because of this, it didn’t matter.
‘Either way, Deus won’t be able to give up Ash, so only Ash, who was unjustly reprimanded, will end up resenting Deus.’
Kiss thought. Perhaps, as his maternal uncle had said, his soul had already been destroyed long ago. Kiss, who had stepped away with a smile, muttered in a passing tone.
“I don’t know how long you’ll be able to hide your true nature.”
* * *
In the dead of night, I woke up feeling a dull ache. As soon as I got up, I checked my surroundings and let out a sigh of relief. Fortunately, there was no enclosed space with all sides blocked, and no Kiss. Judging by the state of the room, which was much more spacious and splendid than the Detached Palace, this was probably a bedroom located within the imperial palace.
I grabbed my throbbing head as if I’d been drinking and sighed. Bad memories passed through my mind.
‘I had no choice. It was fear to the point where I wanted to escape into pain instead.’
Fragmented memories rose up one after another like a damaged film reel. If I’d been in my right mind, I would never have done such a thing with Kiss, but at that time I was almost in a panic state. It would be accurate to say that I wanted to forget the overwhelming fear with different stimulation instead.
My hands trembled finely because of the lingering fear that still remained. The moment I recalled the black shadow that had been wandering beyond Kiss’s shoulder, I squeezed my eyes shut.
‘When on earth will this get better?’
I should be able to forget it soon now that I’m an adult. I didn’t know why I still couldn’t escape from myself from those days.
I bit my lower lip with an unsettled mind. Whatever the reason, I’d shown Kiss such an embarrassing appearance, so I firmly resolved to avoid him for a while. Setting aside having messy sex, showing him crying or being weak was a very uncomfortable thing for me.
‘…But why is something so heavy?’
I was staring blankly at the curtains swaying gracefully in the night breeze when I pulled back the blanket that covered up to my neck. Deus, who I didn’t know when he’d arrived, was sleeping while embracing my naked body inside the blanket. I hesitated with a sense of guilt for some reason, then covered us with the blanket again.
In fact, I wasn’t in any particularly special relationship with Deus, and I had absolutely no intention of being in such a relationship in the future… But anyway, if Deus found out I’d rolled around with Kiss, catastrophe would ensue. Whether I liked it or not, I had to lie and pretend nothing had happened.
The reason was simple. To explain why I slept with Kiss, I’d have to go back to Erina locking me in that enclosed space, and then the notorious Deus wouldn’t leave Erina, who locked me in there, alone. He’d attempt some kind of retaliation, just like he did with the Theo & Tian brothers.
But that was because they were guys, and the chivalrous spirit that remained faintly within me didn’t allow touching Erina.
“My stomach hurts…”
I moaned softly at the sharp pain I felt in my lower abdomen. It seemed the semen Kiss had thoroughly ejaculated inside was still remaining inside. I watched the sleeping Deus carefully and stealthily pulled one leg out toward the edge of the bed.
The truly sad point was that I’d become so accustomed to this that I’d developed my own know-how for sneaking away.
Just as I was about to escape from Deus’s arms while swallowing the rising sadness, Deus’s arm, which had been loosely wrapped around my waist, suddenly pulled me in. Eventually, pulled back into the bed, our eyes met. Deus, who had opened his eyes at some point, was staring at me from inside the blanket.
“Where are you going?”
“I, I’m thirsty.”
If I honestly said I was going to expel the semen, a disaster would definitely ensue, so I unconsciously evaded. Deus, who had been looking at me expressionlessly, got up. Then he poured water into a glass on the table. As I scanned Deus’s back, which seemed quieter than usual, I naturally threw out a question.
“Did you move me here? I drank a lot of champagne at the ball, so I don’t remember well.”
Deus’s hand, which had been tilting the water bottle, froze in midair. Just as I was puzzled by the answer that didn’t come, the sound of water that had stopped briefly began trickling again. Deus, who returned holding a half-filled glass, smiled.
“I see, that explains it. I thought you were tired since you were sleeping here alone.”
“……”
“How did you end up drinking a lot of champagne? Did something pleasant happen?”
Deus, who naturally continued the conversation, brought the glass to my mouth. Seeing the peaceful atmosphere, fortunately it seemed he really didn’t know anything. Relieved, I sipped water and answered nonchalantly.
“It’s a good day, after all. Of course, the hunting festival is still left, but the ball ended safely… Honestly, I thought you’d explode at least once.”
I stopped in the middle of continuing in an excited voice. Deus was definitely smiling gently, but should I say his eyes were strangely dead? It felt like the light in his eyes, which had never been there to begin with, had become completely murky. A strange silence continued. Deus, who had set down the water glass beside him, broke the silence and spoke.
“You sweated a bit while sleeping, so I want to wash up. Shall we wash together?”
“Huh? No, I can wash by myself…”
“No, I already drew the water. I’ll wash you, so just relax.”
Having finished speaking, Deus suddenly picked me up. At the generous treatment of carrying me in his arms all the way to the bathroom, unlike usual, words of refusal didn’t come out easily. Deus, who had set me down and closed the bathroom door, took off the clothes he was wearing. His muscular body with veins protruding here and there evoked a subtle tension.
“Fortunately, the water hasn’t cooled much.”
“……”
“But it’ll cool soon, so hurry and get in.”
Deus, who had entered the bathtub first, gestured for me to follow. I hesitated and immersed my body in the bathtub. I was planning to just sit facing him, but at Deus’s action of making me lean my back against him as if there was no way that would happen, I eventually leaned back comfortably.
A hot body temperature was transmitted through my back. It felt like my stiff muscles were slowly relaxing. I was sprawled out without much thought when I smiled and brought up a topic.
“Oh right, and did you know the young ladies of marriageable age were in an uproar? It seems quite a few good marriage proposals will come in with this opportunity. That’s good. After all, having solid in-laws will help you too.”
“Really?”
“Of course. Don’t you have an ideal type or something? Like what kind of woman you want to marry. Or this is absolutely unacceptable. Things like that.”
“I have no intention of marrying anyone but you.”
A calm voice resonated in the bathroom. Normally I would have thought he was talking nonsense again and let it pass, but for some reason I felt a strange sense of dissonance. I was casually turning my head toward Deus when my body stiffened.
Drip, drip.
Water droplets that had formed on the ceiling splashed on the floor in succession. Unlike the water droplets falling at a constant speed, my breathing was gradually becoming rougher. Along with the feeling of my hair standing on end, my heart sank. After keeping silent for a moment, I muttered in a trembling voice.
“You… you know you’ve been looking at me with eyes that want to kill me this whole time, right?”
The word “오빠” (oppa) here is Deus using it sarcastically/mockingly toward Kiss. In Korean, “oppa” is normally used by females to address older males, so Deus is essentially mocking Kiss by calling him this – it’s a form of sarcastic address to belittle or mock him in this tense confrontation.
Praying for ash 🙏