# Chapter 38
“Hey. I thought I would be like that too, but I turned out to be surprisingly strong in that area. I didn’t know I would do so well, you know? But Seyoung Electronics—they can’t function without me. And it’s not just Seyoung Electronics. Do you know how many other places want me? There are so many people who keep asking to meet me, and when I go to those meetings, they offer good conditions and ask if I’d consider changing jobs. Wow, what I’ve realized this time is that when a person has too much outstanding ability, it’s tough.”
I thought the members would mock me after saying that much, but no one did.
Far from it, they enthusiastically agreed with my words, saying I really would be like that.
“When I first got my settlement money, I replaced all the home appliances at my house with Seyoung Electronics products. I thought it might help you a little bit, Hyung.”
“How would that help me, Dagyeong? You should have met me and bought me drinks instead.”
“Ah, should I have done that?”
They said they had been granted special free time that day and drank happily throughout.
“From next month, we’re going on a world tour concert. They say it will take a long time. We’ll come back intermittently, but we won’t be able to see each other as often as before. Though we hardly saw each other before either.”
Seo Irun said after several rounds of drinks.
“I see.”
I had heard that as their overseas fan base grew, there were more requests for overseas concerts.
I was proud that my kids were finally going on a world tour, but at the same time, I felt emotions that were difficult to describe.
“How long will it take?”
“They said we should set aside two months. They said it would depend on the circumstances at the time, but that’s all we know too.”
“I see.”
Still, there was a world of difference between being under the same Korean sky and going to different places.
The fact that I could see them just by going to visit versus the fact that they wouldn’t be there even if I went to visit was inevitably different.
“You should have visited more often then.”
Cha Yeonwoo said, seeing that I felt disappointed.
“Yeah, I should have. I should have come a little more often, somehow.”
“Don’t say that, come visit us too, Hyung. You should come at least once. Right?”
When Lee Dagyeong said this, the other members nodded as if that was really necessary.
“Oh, our Dagyeong finally said something sensible for once? You should use your brain like that all the time, Dagyeong. You’re the youngest among us, so your brain is fresh and nimble.”
I’m not sure what that had to do with anything, but Dagyeong was agreeing with it.
“That’s right. That’s correct. It’s my fault. I’m the only one here who should use my brain, but I’ve been too lax. This will never happen again, so please forgive me just this once.”
We drank again amid the noisy chatter.
The conversation was endless, and everyone was clamoring to speak first.
“Wow, why are there five of us, making us wait so long each time we want to speak? I should have just gone solo.”
At those words, I suddenly found myself wondering about the results of ‘Crop Five Survival,’ so I asked, and the members looked at each other.
“Yeah, who won back then?”
“None of us have promoted as soloists or released solo albums. So maybe there was no winner then?”
It was amazing how everyone had forgotten something that wasn’t even that long ago.
Then Jeong Chan exclaimed, “Ah!”
“Sijin won. Sijin won, but he said he wouldn’t release a solo album and would focus on team activities instead. Right, Sijin?”
Han Sijin nodded, as if he had remembered it all along.
“Really? Why did you do that? Releasing a solo album might have been a good opportunity for you.”
But Sijin didn’t answer.
As if he was embarrassed to explain the reason.
“Ah, why am I so dizzy? Did I drink too quickly?”
“Me too. It’s been so long since I’ve had a drink. Ah, it’s unfair. I’ve spent all my youth just working. It’s unfair. What is this? I’m already drunk after drinking this.”
Jeong Chan and Cha Yeonwoo took turns complaining as they slumped over the table.
“Hey, hey. If you’re going to sleep, go to your room and sleep. What are you doing at the dining table where there’s food?”
As expected, Seo Irun showed no compromise in such matters.
Even Jeong Chan and Cha Yeonwoo seemed unable to resist Irun, so they got up reluctantly.
“Hyung, you’re not leaving early tomorrow, right? We can see you when we wake up tomorrow morning, right? I’ll get up early tomorrow morning, so make sure we see each other, okay?”
Cha Yeonwoo said with eyes full of regret.
“Sure. It’s hard enough to make time once, so I’ll leave a bit later tomorrow.”
It wasn’t difficult for me to be that flexible, but the members reacted with a loud “Woooah!” as if I had made a great decision.
The two went to their room first, and afterwards, the rest of us continued drinking. Later, Seo Irun stood up with Lee Dagyeong.
“Dagyeong, you go in too. You’re very drunk.”
“Really? Is Dagyeong having a hard time? Did you drink a lot?”
I didn’t think his speech was particularly slurred, so I wondered why Irun was saying that, but I also told Dagyeong to go rest, and Dagyeong said he wasn’t drunk and would stay longer.
However, Irun spoke strictly to Dagyeong again, and Dagyeong, though feeling wronged, couldn’t do anything against Irun and headed to his room.
“Hyung, I’m feeling a bit dizzy too. Maybe it’s because I haven’t drunk for a while. Let’s have a drink separately next time.”
As Irun also got up and headed to his room, Dagyeong watched him with a meaningful face.
It was a strange expression that seemed to suggest that if that was the reason, he could accept it.
I suddenly wondered why they were all acting this way and looked at Han Sijin.
Han Sijin chuckled.
“Why are they doing this? All of a sudden.”
“Jeong Chan and Cha Yeonwoo seem genuinely drunk, but Dagyeong was probably taken care of by Irun hyung?”
“Taken care of? Why?”
“I wonder.”
Han Sijin propped his chin and looked at me.
This guy looks even more handsome with alcohol in his system.
His face truly seemed unreal.
“I guess he felt sorry. To me.”
“Who? Irun? Irun isn’t the type to feel guilty even when he wrongs others.”
“That’s true. But anyway, it seems like he’s feeling that now.”
Wondering what he meant, I emptied the remaining alcohol in my glass cleanly.
It was a kind of habit, almost an obsession.
I can’t stand seeing anything left in my glass.
The emptied glass was promptly refilled with a “glug.”
But I knew if I kept drinking like this, I would likely black out, so I eventually flipped the glass upside down.
“Stop giving me more. I think I’m starting to get drunk too.”
“That was the plan.”
“What would you do if I got drunk?”
“I was planning to try something.”
“You crazy bastard.”
I chuckled, but the process of forming that smile was perceived slowly.
All my senses were uncomfortable to the point that I wasn’t sure if I was actually smiling right now.
“Wow, Sijin. I think I’m really drunk.”
“Get up. Let’s wash up and sleep. You must be tired too, Hyung. You must have had a lot to prepare.”
“Well, did I do anything?”
“I got it, so stop talking and get up.”
He lifted me up.
He raised me easily, without exerting much effort, making me wonder if I felt that light to him.
“Do I feel really light?”
“Yeah. You’re incredibly light. I think I could even carry you. Should I carry you?”
“No thanks. Stop talking nonsense.”
I did start to say something, but I kept forgetting what I was trying to say.
And later, I got tired of speaking and just followed Han Sijin’s lead.
Han Sijin brought a change of clothes and took me to the bathroom.
It seemed to be the impressive bathroom they had boasted about, saying how many toilets it had.
“Our Sijin. Successful and living in a house with a spacious bathroom.”
When I said this, he chuckled.
“Is this drunk talk? Even your drunk talk is cute. Just like you.”
“What? You?”
“What? Why are you trying to find fault again?”
His smile was visible right in front of me.
Han Sijin was within reach.
His smile was there too.
“Han Sijin is smiling.”
He looked at me.
“Why?”
“Just. I always wanted you to smile, Sijin. Always. It was a very old dream.”
“When I failed in that terrible audition program?”
“That’s right. I guess that’s when it started.”
A much deeper and richer smile formed on his face.
“Come to think of it, you’re really persistent, Hyung. Not everyone who watched that broadcast would have thought like you. No, even if some people had such thoughts, there wouldn’t have been anyone who actually became a manager to try to debut us.”
He shook his head and laughed.
“I was lucky, Hyung.”
“Do you think so?”
“Yes. I was your singer.”
“My idol. My top star.”
After saying that, I reached out one hand and placed it on his shoulder.
Han Sijin was in front of me, so close, and it felt so unreal that I tried to confirm it.
