He could feel a slightly fast heartbeat from the chest where his ear was pressed quietly.
“……Rose, am I awkward to you?”
Elijah, who raised his head, asked. The gaze looking down at him steadily was calm. Because of the long eyelashes hanging down below his lowered eyelids, he couldn’t see his eyes well.
“No.”
Just a short answer wasn’t enough to soothe this incomprehensible sense of distance. Elijah caressed his cheek and whispered.
“I don’t feel completely close to you. Am I the only one who feels this way?”
“……No, Elijah. I feel that way too.”
Should he be relieved that it wasn’t just his own delusion? The hand wrapped around his back carefully pulled Elijah into an embrace.
“Do you still like me?”
At the unexpected question, Elijah was a little flustered.
“Of course. Did you think I wouldn’t like you? We’re best friends. I can’t do without you, Rose. I don’t want to be apart from you even for a moment now.”
“……”
“I worked hard to learn healing magic to protect you. Now I can heal you if you get scratched or torn a little. I’ve been thinking only of you and waiting only for you all this time, Rose……”
Even though they were this close, he felt an invisible wall around him.
“Don’t you feel the same?”
Elijah hoped that Rose’s heart was still the same as his. He let out the words he’d been holding back with a hurt heart.
“I’m yours, and you’re mine.”
A laugh-like sigh was heard from Rose.
“……That’s right, Elijah. I’m yours, and you’re mine. It’ll continue to be that way.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.”
Elijah, who raised his head a little more, kissed his slightly upturned lips. The touching lips were so cold that he wanted to press their flesh together longer to melt him.
However, the contact didn’t last long. Soon their lips separated and shifted, and Elijah had to bury his face in his embrace because of the hand covering the back of his head.
A precariously trembling sigh settled down over his head. The arm filled with strength weakly tightened around Elijah’s body.
“Don’t change, Elijah.”
“……”
Stay that way. For your whole life, while being mine, stay that way…….
In the embrace that had become lukewarm as his body temperature transferred over, Elijah fell sweetly asleep for once while hearing the low whisper.
* * *
The growth of the children who had repeatedly passed through spring’s flower scent, summer’s sun, autumn’s wind, and winter’s cold accelerated. They, who could no longer be called children, had now become complete adults whose gender could be distinguished at once even without carefully examining each one’s characteristics.
Among them, Rose stood out prominently. Rose, who had originally grown faster than others, now had a physique that had developed to the point where no one could catch up.
Most of his peers had to crane their necks all the way back to see his face, and that was the same for Elijah too.
“Rose, just getting back?”
Elijah, who had been standing at the door, saw Rose who had just returned to the monastery and ran out into the rain. From some point on, Rose was no longer excluded from missions going outside. Rather, he went out more often than them, even often going alone.
Rose, who bent at the waist to match his height, embraced Elijah in return.
“You’re getting all wet, Elijah.”
“This much is fine.”
Rose, who said that, was the one who was soaked in rain. Elijah, who brushed off his black curly hair that was sparkling with small raindrops, held his hand and led him. Muddy water splashed at Elijah’s feet as he crossed the backyard where puddles had formed here and there.
The summer rainy season was tiresome. Rain leaked through the dining hall walls and the beds were always damp with humidity. The peers living together got irritated even when their arms just brushed against each other, and Elijah also didn’t bump into others unless necessary.
However, if it was Rose, everything became an exception.
“Eli, mmph…… Wait, my clothes are wet.”
“It’s fine. I’ll dry them for you.”
The place Elijah led him to was the small kitchen attached next to the dining hall. The kitchen was the only place in the monastery where the embers never went out. It was also a place that was almost empty since no one came unless it was time to prepare meals.
Inside the narrow kitchen where cooking utensils were scattered about unorganized, it was full of warm heat. Elijah, who stood on tiptoe because his height barely reached, pulled down Rose’s collar and bumped their lips together.
Rose, who awkwardly bent at the waist with both hands hanging ambiguously in the air, turned his head back and avoided that kiss.
“Someone might see, Elijah.”
“There’s only the two of us, who would see? I locked the kitchen door too.”
Rose let out a hollow laugh and asked.
“Were you thinking about this all day?”
“No. I was only thinking about you.”
What they did these days when alone together was just holding each other and kissing or touching like this. They didn’t play chess or have conversations, just held each other, but even that alone made time pass surprisingly well.
Being in physical contact with Rose was that pleasant. And at the same time, it was also frustrating.
“Hold me.”
Elijah grabbed Rose’s arms, which were still stiffly frozen without embracing him like a fool, and placed them around his waist.
“We were apart all day today. Aren’t you even happy to see me?”
“Of course I’m happy. But, ……mm. Eli, ……wa-, mmph, wait a moment.”
Elijah didn’t give Rose a chance to speak at all. He wanted to stick together as much as they’d been apart, but whenever their lips lingered a little long, Rose would without fail turn his head and avoid it.
“Stay still.”
In the end, Elijah grabbed his face and fixed it to himself. Pressing both cheeks firmly, Elijah pouted and pecked at his lips that stuck out like a fish, then faintly frowned.
Something was lacking. He became more anxious because of Rose, who kept turning his head to avoid him.
“Stick out your tongue, Rose.”
“……What?”
“Like this, stick out your tongue.”
Elijah demonstrated himself. Rose’s eyes, looking down at the protruding tongue, shook briefly. After hesitating for a few seconds, he hesitantly stuck out his tongue following Elijah. The tongue that peeked out between his red lips trembled.
Elijah sucked on his tongue with a slurp. He intended to bite it and not let go so that Rose couldn’t turn his head anymore, but Rose flinched in shock, pushed him away, and stepped back.
“……Wh-what are you doing?”
Rose, who covered his mouth with trembling hands, asked in a low voice. His red eyes rippled with confusion. Was it something to be that flustered about? Elijah felt a little awkward.
“What do you mean what…… I sucked your tongue.”
“Why?”
“Because you keep avoiding me.”
Actually, the reason was bigger than that. Elijah wanted to touch Rose more. Sometimes when Rose was sleeping, he would secretly open his mouth and gently touch the skin inside his lips.
He wanted to touch every place he could touch. The sensation of the tongue he’d held in his mouth just now was so soft and cute it made the back of his neck tingle. As expected, Rose wasn’t just pretty on the outside but also had pretty insides.
“……Who did you learn this from?”
However, Rose didn’t seem to like it as much as he did. He just tried it, but he didn’t know he was supposed to have learned this from someone.
“Who would teach me something like this……”
Like not separately learning how to breathe or how to cough, it was a very natural action for Elijah.
“I just tried it. I won’t do it if you don’t like it.”
Rose, who had been staring at him with a serious face, asked in a low voice.
“Has anyone done this to you before?”
“No. Why would anyone disgustingly suck someone else’s tongue.”
Rose touched his own lips with a somewhat deflated expression.
“Just now that……”
An absent-minded murmur flowed out softly.
“It’s really strange.”
“Sorry, I won’t do it again……”
“Let’s do it again.”
He suddenly approached Elijah. Elijah’s head tilted back to look up at Rose who had suddenly gotten close. The tip of Rose’s thumb, which held his chin, shallowly dug between his lips.
“Do it again, Elijah.”
“Uh……, like this, tongue, stick out……”
His red eyes were nailed between his lips. Because of the persistent gaze, Elijah, who belatedly became a little embarrassed, quietly stuck out his tongue and looked up at him.
“How?”
“Uwaah, haah, mm……”
He just needs to suck it…… It was the moment he was giving a sloppy response with pronunciation he couldn’t even understand. Lips that carefully approached held his tongue. The tongue wrapped in soft mucous membrane flinched and trembled. It was contact that ended with just lightly holding it rather than sucking.
A thin strand of saliva stretched between the lips that briefly swept over and separated, then snapped. While gently rubbing the still-protruding tongue with his thumb tip, Rose asked in a low voice.
“Like this?”
“Uh, ……yeah.”
Elijah nodded awkwardly. The tongue inside his mouth felt unfamiliar as if it weren’t his own. Heat rose to his face for no reason.
Thump, their toes bumped into each other. Shadow fell over Elijah’s face. Between their lips that had gotten close enough to almost touch, breath belonging to who knows who quietly passed back and forth. Rose, who had been staring at him silently, very slowly overlapped their lips.
Elijah shivered as he carefully licked the moist and soft mucous membrane with the tip of his tongue. Pleasant goosebumps rose along with his violently beating heartbeat.
Their pressed lips separated, making a wet sound. Trembling breaths mixed over their wet lips. The lips that had firmly held and released Elijah’s lower lip covered them again. This time a little harder, Rose, who sucked in his tongue, tilted his head and overlapped their lips more deeply.
The tongue that came in while slowly rubbing the mucous membrane inside his cheek dug in while sweeping over the roof of his mouth. Elijah instantly had his breath stolen by Rose. As if his lungs were connected to him, once he lost his breath, it wouldn’t quite go as he intended.
Even so, this moment right now felt insanely good.
