Silent laughter flowed at Dowon’s casually dropped words while serving food onto Muyoung’s plate. He remembered complaining during calls that there was a lot of work. He seemed to regard him as someone who could share his daily life with. It was even more so because he didn’t embellish it with greatly impressive words. The affectionate voice flew in casually by his ear as if it was nothing.
“Let’s make today a day to eat deliciously and enjoy. I was excited that Muyoung-ssi called me out.”
“…”
Silently nodding to answer instead, Muyoung’s face became much more at ease. It seemed like it was because he’d passed the worrying crisis, and it seemed refreshing having released the words that had piled up trivially. During the slow continuation of the meal, the calm performance that could be heard made the atmosphere more comfortable.
“If you’re going to avoid me and run away in the future, go to the seaside.”
“…Pardon?”
Dowon’s lightly thrown words suddenly changed the subject. Muyoung, who couldn’t hide his confusion, blinked and asked back. The tension that had remained faintly until just before tightened again. Even looking back to see if he’d said something that could cause misunderstanding, nothing came to mind. Only Dowon speaking without change in expression seemed fine.
“Most ingredients said to be good for the body are seafood. Eel, abalone, octopus, things like that.”
“…You’re telling me to consider meals when running away?”
“If you’re going to refuse even someone who can prepare it all for you on the breakfast table right away, it’s better to eat well.”
When an absurd answer came to an absurd question, laughter finally burst from Muyoung who stopped thinking further. It wasn’t even a question seeking an answer in the first place, but he’d been too flustered to get his bearings, which seemed foolish.
“Why would I run away…”
“Exactly. Until just now, Muyoung-ssi was acting like you’d disappear right away, so I was scared.”
“Ah…”
“That’s the scariest thing to me right now.”
Dowon, who had been muttering in a joking tone while tapping the glass, briefly squinted. Muyoung could read the meaning contained in between. That the scariest thing right now to the man who seemed more relaxed and stronger than anyone was merely something related to himself.
Of course, Muyoung was desperate. It was the first time spilling his story that no one knew to another person, and he was confused by himself helplessly shaking before such a person. From the start, admitting everything was hard and difficult, so he might have really been looking for an excuse to leave everything and run away. If he said he couldn’t work, using that as an excuse. If he said his health wasn’t good, using that as an excuse. If the man before his eyes said he disliked Muyoung, using that as an excuse.
“Together, things to do together have increased. I need to go to the hospital too…”
“Yes, definitely tell me your schedule next time.”
“So, running away is…”
Should he have unfolded the story a bit more gently? Wasn’t it burdensome to hear? He briefly blamed himself while reviewing his words and actions one by one belatedly, then repeated consoling himself that it couldn’t be helped.
Dowon, who had been watching Muyoung who couldn’t quite finish his words in embarrassment, raised the corners of his mouth long and smiled pleasantly.
“…That’s right. I just need to keep my promises well.”
“…Yes.”
Maybe. Can’t I choose? Can even I dare to hope?
Somewhere deep in his heart heated up redly and his insides tickled. The place he thought would absolutely never open again was helplessly opening again. Though it was an unclear emotion that hadn’t yet fully taken shape, he didn’t not know its identity. But he didn’t want to carelessly name it and act hastily either.
Though his insides surging on their own wouldn’t show on the outside, Muyoung pointlessly stroked above his chest with his hand and spent time with Dowon as if nothing. He carefully imagined what shape the heart that had just begun to ripen would settle into.
Shaking off his wet hands, he tidied his appearance once more in front of the mirror. He thought he should only drink enough to accompany the meal, but his cheeks were red thanks to the alcohol that went in a bit more than expected. Muyoung’s lips rose slightly at the thought that maybe it was because he was in a good mood. After wiping his wet hands with paper towels, he left the restroom. First, he’d return to Dowon, ask his intention, and either go home or…
“…Lee Muyoung?”
At the voice catching Muyoung who had been quietly calculating the route after in his head, he reflexively turned around. The person he’d thought he could never see again was standing a few steps behind, looking at him.
“Sunbae…”
The man he’d never thought he’d run into here was looking at Muyoung. At the word sunbae that naturally flowed out, rather Muyoung who spat the word felt a sting inside.
Muyoung, who had been flustered briefly at the unexpected meeting, belatedly discovered there was a companion beside the man. A woman with quite neat and beautiful looks had her arm linked and gave him a gaze together as if puzzled. He was momentarily flustered about what words to say, what attitude to take. The moment Muyoung hesitated without finding words, the woman beside him opened her mouth first.
“Jinho-ssi, is this someone you know?”
“A college junior. Go in first. It’s been a while so I’ll just greet them and go.”
“Yes, take your time. Then…”
He reflexively bowed his head at the clear face that bowed lightly in greeting. The thought that maybe they weren’t on greeting terms came after. It was both flustering and awkward, but it would also be strange to completely ignore them, so Jinho gave Muyoung, who was staring blankly, his gaze and asked.
“What brings you to a place like this?”
“I had an appointment. Since I have company…”
“Are you doing well? I felt a bit bothered because I couldn’t contact you after that.”
“…Contact?”
Did he think Muyoung wouldn’t know that Jinho’s contact information changed as soon as he was notified of the breakup? Though he didn’t do the pathetic thing of muttering at a number that didn’t connect, the feeling of being devastated by the disappeared connection was still vivid. The fact that someone he’d been in a relationship with for a long time completely disappeared and he became the one left behind had left a big mark in some way. In a very bad direction.
Of course, he didn’t intend to blame even the time he himself gave up after that. Even if he told him, it didn’t seem like he’d be very understanding.
But did they need to exchange meaningless pleasantries between them? At this moment, no less.
“I never thought I’d run into you. You don’t look bad.”
“…Should I have looked bad?”
How much time had passed? Though it seemed several months since they’d been out of contact, Jinho looked as clean and affectionate as he had then, no different. It was an appearance that would have felt quite favorable before.
But Muyoung found Jinho’s current appearance only strange. Because his attitude was exactly as if there had been nothing between them. Of course, it was true that there was nothing now, but he hadn’t thought they were on terms where they could exchange greetings so freely. Moreover, he thought Jinho, who had cut him off sharply, should rather be the one who felt awkward. Or did he look that unbothered? Was he really just planning to greet him briefly at a chance encounter?
Actually, Muyoung didn’t really want to know what Jinho was thinking. That’s why he pulled his body back a bit to get away from Jinho who was getting closer. There was no reason to treat him the same as before, and the unfamiliarity felt in his expression, attitude, and tone was awkward. He absolutely couldn’t feel that the words and gestures this person was making now were sincere toward him.
“You don’t have to pretend to be fine. I heard you didn’t receive imprint cancellation.”
“…What nonsense…”
“I sent you texts telling you to get the procedure and got no answer. I was probably reported a while ago that you didn’t come to the hospital either. There’s no way you’d go somewhere else. A kid who hated letting others know you’re an Omega that much.”
Muyoung unconsciously looked around for a moment. Realizing himself doing that, he bit and released his lower lip, forcibly composing his expression. The wariness hardened over countless hours had popped out unconsciously. It bothered him for no reason that he ended up flustered even though he’d struggled so much to reveal it to people until recently.
Right, it was fine now. Even if the fact that he was an Omega was revealed, he didn’t need to care. Moreover, this was a hotel corridor where others could approach anytime, a quite bright place peaceful with slow classical melody. Though his head knew it wasn’t a place where harm could easily be done, goosebumps kept rising on his back.
“Another… I handled it at another place. I don’t know why you think that, but I’m fine.”
“Right, that’s what’s strange. There’s no way you’d be this fine right now.”
“What are you…”
“Omegas break down if they don’t get that procedure. Seeing it with my eyes makes me a bit concerned. The future is important. For me and for the person I’ll marry.”
Though he hurriedly made excuses, Jinho showed no wavering at Muyoung’s words and said what he wanted to say, approaching closer. Jinho, who brought his face close to the nape area, briefly inhaled then immediately pulled back, but the creepy feeling from that moment made Muyoung’s fingertips tingle.
The moment he froze without being able to deal with the incomprehensible attitude at all, the blood seemed to drain from his whole body at the muttered words.
“Seeing how there’s no smell even though I’m with you, it seems right.”
Currently unable to feel pheromones, he couldn’t know what state he was in. Come to think of it, he also no longer knew the pheromones coming from the man before his eyes. Though it had been quite long since he stopped feeling them due to the medication he was taking and his weakened trait, he hadn’t realized it because he’d never felt others’ pheromones except Jinho since manifestation.
But he knew that approaching so blatantly and bringing up pheromones was an extremely rude action. It seemed like he didn’t do such things even when they’d been in a close relationship. He was dubious whether his memory was even correct.
“Now, what is this…”
“We weren’t on terms where even this much isn’t allowed. Well, since you’re not being clingy, it’s also strange. I thought you’d at least cling to me.”
“What did you say…?”
