It was an atmosphere where I felt like I needed to provide a specific correct answer. Because hyung-nim’s eyes were saying exactly that right now.
“What you did yesterday, and what you’re sorry for. I’d like you to tell me specifically if possible.”
Strangely, hyung-nim asked in a somewhat persistent tone. It almost felt like he was interrogating me.
In contrast, his expression held a subtle smile. That was the reason I felt most uneasy.
I was going to answer right away, but gradually my head tilted to the side.
What? My gaze, feeling perplexed, somehow turned toward hyung-nim’s lips.
Me too, really… What is this in a situation where I’m being scolded.
The moment hyung-nim’s lips entered my sight, I immediately recalled last night’s dream. As usual, secretly kissing hyung-nim in my room without Mom and Dad knowing.
“Mmm…?”
At the same time, one shocking fact came to mind. My expression crumpled without my realizing it.
Come to think of it, why didn’t I have a wet dream?
Normally after having that dream, my underwear would definitely be wet. But today, even after waking up, my pants weren’t damp.
Strange.
While I was pondering whether I’d had a wet dream, hyung-nim handed me honey water. I also heard a short sigh.
“Drink this first.”
I took it in a daze and swallowed a sip. I didn’t forget to bow in thanks before drinking. Even before putting it in my mouth, the sweet scent of honey brushed past my nose.
Even though it was lukewarm water that wasn’t too hot, somehow my throat felt like it was burning as I swallowed. Was it because of hyung-nim’s sharp gaze?
“So, what did you do wrong?”
“What I did wrong is, um…”
No matter how I looked at it, my only fault was stealing the condom and talking back to hyung-nim on the phone.
Honestly, I wasn’t sure if stealing one condom was really this wrong. Was it perhaps a special condom bought from abroad, or a trace left behind by an ex-lover?
Gasp.
As I delayed, hyung-nim’s expression became even more menacing.
I didn’t know what it was, but it seemed I’d done something terribly wrong. I decided to just make something up.
“Well, just, you know I tend to do things wrong anyway. Like getting drunk, or causing trouble by coming home late…”
“Trouble?”
Hyung-nim looked down at me quietly. It was a moment when I flinched without realizing it.
“Hajin-ah, you…”
Hyung-nim pulled up one corner of his mouth.
“You don’t remember, right now?”
“What? No, that’s not…”
I felt something unusual. I reflexively shook my head, then changed the angle and nodded. Now wasn’t the time to lie. Even though I usually lack awareness, I could tell that much.
I didn’t know what I’d forgotten, but it was true that my memory had blacked out. Hyung-nim hates people who can’t control themselves the most. So clearly, drinking until I blacked out was something hyung-nim would find most distasteful.
“I’m sorry, hyung-nim. I guess I drank too much yesterday.”
“You really don’t know what you did yesterday? You don’t remember anything after coming home?”
“…Did I throw up on you, hyung-nim?”
“Haah.”
Hyung-nim sighed. This time it was clearly a big sigh that anyone could hear.
And he even shook his head. It was an expression that said he didn’t want to talk with me anymore.
“Control your drinking from now on. This time I’m not just saying it. Don’t go to things like blind dates for the time being either, and bring the condom back now.”
“I don’t want to.”
I was a little surprised at the part about not going on blind dates, but the words that followed weren’t welcome at all.
“Bring it back, Hajin-ah.”
I shook my head again. Hyung-nim’s eyes became a bit sharper.
Even so, I hated the idea of hyung-nim using that condom. I didn’t want to know he was carrying it around in the first place. Why did he have to ask me for his wallet at that moment?
I even had a dream where I was floundering, crushed under a giant condom wrapper. Did hyung-nim know how much that tormented me? Probably not at all. Even now, hyung-nim would only think I was being stubborn.
Of course, just because I stole one didn’t mean hyung-nim couldn’t use condoms… but now that I’d been caught anyway, I absolutely didn’t want to give it back.
“Don’t be stubborn and bring it back.”
“I can’t bring it back. I don’t have it.”
“Why not?”
“Because I used it.”
“That’s a lie.”
Huh? How does he know it’s a lie?
It was even an answer that came back immediately without any time gap. He said it so firmly that I stared at hyung-nim with a dumbfounded face for a moment.
“It’s not a lie though?”
“No, it’s a lie.”
And hyung-nim said calmly,
“Hajin doesn’t know how to use that.”
“What?”
I was so dumbfounded that I blinked my eyes with my mouth open for exactly 6 seconds. What does this mean?
In the world, there are things you can tease about and things you can’t tease about.
“How does hyung-nim know that?”
“I just, could tell by looking.”
Even though I actually have no sexual experience, you still can’t tease a virgin by looking at them and calling them a virgin.
“What, how can that be? You’ve been busy every day lately, hyung-nim. Even when I leave red ginseng out on the table in plain sight for you to take, the next day I see you didn’t even eat it before going to work!”
Honestly, my words weren’t any kind of explanation. It was closer to complaining that I’d been feeling hurt. Perhaps because of that, hyung-nim frowned as if my words were absurd.
“Me not eating red ginseng has nothing to do with Hajin stealing a condom from someone’s wallet. I didn’t raise you to be like that, so don’t be stubborn and bring it back. Then I’ll be generous and let it go. What are you going to do with it when you don’t even know how to use it?”
“It’s not that it has nothing to do with stealing it, but I could have used it while hyung-nim was busy working. You don’t know anything about what I’ve been doing these past two weeks.”
It’s a well-known fact that I have no dating experience, but in this day and age, you can’t definitively say that being perpetually single means no sex experience either.
Of course, I am a perpetually single person who’s never even put on a condom and has only kissed once…
“Hyung-nim can’t watch me 24 hours a day. You’ve been making me eat alone at home every day lately, and even though I’m not using the card, you haven’t called once to ask why I’m not using it. So I could have met a new alpha while hyung-nim was busy and used it all up.”
“…”
“Because I’m an adult.”
Somehow, the more I spoke, the more it felt like I was venting at hyung-nim who didn’t understand my feelings and had no interest in me. Since forgetting our promise, hyung-nim had really been far too indifferent to me.
“And you know. I’m a scoundrel, so I’m very curious about that kind of thing.”
I deliberately lifted my chin slightly. But something was strange.
I’d gotten worked up for a moment and acted rudely, but hyung-nim was smiling. Even when I said one more thing on purpose, it was the same.
He seemed to be in a good mood, and also seemed to be thinking deeply about something.
“Come here for a second.”
“Okay.”
I approached closer in front of hyung-nim.
And as soon as I approached, hyung-nim suddenly flicked my forehead hard.
“Ah!”
“Still, no heavy drinking for the time being, and come home by 10 o’clock. I think you really need to be monitored periodically. Seeing you yesterday, your drunken behavior was just…”
Did I act that drunk to hyung-nim yesterday? If so, the surveillance starting again was unavoidable.
“Ten o’clock is ridiculous.”
“It’s punishment for not remembering. For two weeks, come home by 10 o’clock.”
Hyung-nim, who spoke firmly, took the honey water from my hand. Even though I’d almost finished it, there was a sip left, and somehow I felt displeased.
Did I really do something wrong?
More than that, I was more concerned about the atmosphere that had somehow changed.
It seemed I needed to do things wrong to Jeongwoo hyung-nim. I didn’t know what, but anyway, I felt good.
After hearing nagging for the first time in a while, my resolution not to love hyung-nim was slowly wavering.
Because hyung-nim monitoring me was actually something I should welcome.
***
After washing up, I sat at the table and ate.
It was breakfast that hyung-nim had prepared, no less. There was spicy bean sprout soup and rolled omelet, sausage, and besides that, fresh seasoned vegetables and spicy stir-fried squid brought from hyung-nim’s place, and our dad’s trademark tasteless spinach tofu salad. I was eating all the side dishes evenly except for the spinach tofu salad.
“Hyung-nim, aren’t you going to work today?”
Hyung-nim even worked without weekends or nights, but today he was watching me eat.
“I have to, since I just threw my work aside yesterday.”
“Oh, really? You do that sometimes too, hyung-nim?”
When I asked in surprise, hyung-nim just smiled briefly without saying anything particular.
Jeongwoo hyung-nim actually throwing his work aside. What on earth happened?
