No matter what hyung-nim said, my breath came out tangled and trembling randomly.
“I don’t know, hng, haah.”
While listening to hyung-nim’s words, I was simultaneously rubbing my butt against the blanket. The tender flesh of my groin pressed and brushed here and there over the bunched-up blanket. At the same time, my hand stroked my member up and down again.
Was it impossible to calm my excitement looking at hyung-nim’s face? Or was it because hyung-nim was watching me do this?
“Your face is scary, hyung-nim…!”
I’d never seen such a hardened expression even in my dreams, so I suddenly felt a little intimidated. But I still whimpered while rubbing my member.
“Hng, scary, haah, mm.”
Hyung-nim took a deep breath and spoke in a very low voice.
“Hajin-ah.”
Hyung-nim’s eyes narrowed as if displeased.
“Who made you get so brazen like this?”
“…Ngh, hngh.”
“Hm? Because of who, since when did you become so brazen?”
I shook my head from side to side. When the person responsible asks like that, I can’t answer.
“You’re not even in heat, yet you keep exceeding my expectations every time.”
Does he mean heat when he says in heat? It was an explicit word I’d never actually heard in my life. I slowly shook my head.
“Don’t know, never been in heat, hah…”
Naturally, whenever hyung-nim was close, my breath would get hot. Even now, I was moving my hand while looking at hyung-nim.
“Ha, haa, ah…!”
I was so excited I felt like I’d burst into tears any moment. The slippery fluid flowing from the tip of my member began to gradually wet my palm. The hand shaking my member up and down gradually got faster.
Hyung-nim’s eyes narrowed again.
“Is this also because of that blond head?”
I immediately shook my head hard.
I was gradually reaching my limit. Now the fluid pooling from the tip of my member was wetting my entire hand and making squelching sounds. If the front was like this, the back was probably even more of a mess. Every time my butt rubbed against the soaking wet blanket, I unknowingly twitched my rear.
“Nooo, it’s because of hyung-nim… hng.”
My vision went white. I couldn’t see anything. I took a big breath and pulled hyung-nim’s body toward me.
“Hng, hyung-nim, I’m scared.”
I suddenly hugged him because I didn’t want to see that frighteningly hardened face.
I resented why it was different from my usual dreams. I wished he’d hold me. I wished hyung-nim would tell me he loves me too. Even though this wasn’t reality, I was so heartbroken that he wouldn’t hold me.
“Hyung-nim, you know what?”
“……”
“I hate you so much.”
Hyung-nim’s breath was quiet as if it had stopped. There was no movement at all, as if I was hugging a giant block of ice.
“I really, I hated hyung-nim so much, I tried not to like you, but it doesn’t work…”
Since it’s a dream anyway, this much is okay.
Smack, I kissed his cheek.
“So, I love hyung-nim so, so much. As much as the sky, as much as the earth.”
“……”
“And, enough to die…”
Was it because I said something I’d wanted to say so badly? As soon as I finished speaking, all the heat in my body rushed to my head.
Even my eyes felt hot. My waist trembled and the strength left my embracing arms.
“Ah…!”
Not knowing what to do while gripping the tip of my member with both hands, I suddenly let go of the hand holding my member. My legs curled up, and white fluid burst from the tip of my member.
“Haah, ah…!”
While my semen splattered in the air, my limbs with nowhere to go thrashed on the bed.
Thud, a moment later my back touched the bed.
It was as if the bed was sucking my body in. From within it, I only exhaled hot breaths.
And slowly, I fell asleep as if losing consciousness.
***
Even before opening my eyes, a headache raised its head first. And the moment I opened my eyes, a sensation like my head would split rushed over me.
“Ugh…”
When I slowly blinked, I saw a familiar ceiling. My mouth was completely dry, and my stomach was churning.
I really did drink a lot yesterday.
“……”
I was staring at the blanket covering my body. Something’s strange.
Just as I was about to sit up, I sensed something odd. How should I put it, the touching sensation was particularly cool.
Whoosh, I lifted the blanket.
I had no clothes on. To be precise, only my underwear remained.
Did I fall asleep without washing? Come to think of it, my memories from the middle of the drinking session onward were spotty and unclear.
“Mm, mm.”
I cleared my throat. For some reason, my voice was slightly hoarse. Even if I was drunk, I wouldn’t have been screaming.
“Did I wash before sleeping…?”
Because my body was too fluffy to have just gone to sleep like that. Unless someone had carefully wiped me down, it couldn’t be this un-sticky at all.
The problem was I couldn’t remember at all. Not only washing, but I couldn’t even remember how I got home.
I suddenly looked down at the white underwear I was wearing. Did I wear this yesterday? I wasn’t sure.
Come to think of it, I think I rode in a car when I came home yesterday, but was it a taxi? I remember having the dream about hyung-nim that I often had, but especially the memories in between had disappeared entirely.
I’d heard such stories from my classmates. There was a legendary senior who would somehow find their way home even with a blackout, losing their wallet and phone.
“Wow, I must’ve blacked out.”
Crazy. My vision seemed to brighten enough that my hangover momentarily disappeared. Then there’s something I need to do right now.
I hurried to the bookshelf. What I was looking for was a very thick Go book I’d brought from Dad’s bookshelf. A thick book that looked perfect for tucking in the notebook with my bucket list, a thick book that looked completely unreadable.
- Try kissing (completed)
- Drink alcohol to your heart’s content until you black out (completed)
“Yes!”
While making check marks, my hand moved cheerfully.
But somehow I felt proud and uneasy at the same time. It was good to have experienced a blackout, but I didn’t do anything weird, right?
“…Ugh, I’m thirsty.”
More urgently than that, quenching my thirst was more pressing now. I roughly pulled out just a pajama shirt from the drawer, put it on, and opened the door handle.
It was when I went out to the living room to drink water.
“Huh?”
I encountered an unexpected person.
Of course, hyung-nim is my housemate and the owner of this house, but still, he’d been incredibly busy lately.
For some reason, hyung-nim was sitting on the sofa drinking coffee as if he had nothing to do. And he looked at me as soon as I came out to the living room.
It was his usual appearance. Except he wasn’t wearing a suit but cotton pants and a knit, and his crossed-leg sitting posture was as wonderful as always.
But something was different.
He looked somewhat dazed. Seeing the shadows under his eyes, it seemed like he’d stayed up all night…
Ah.
Right, I got caught with the condom yesterday.
And recently, for the past few days, I’d been viewing the world so negatively that even I was surprised. I’d just forgotten that fact for a moment because of the hangover.
Yesterday, hyung-nim noticed I’d stolen condoms. And he even called me while I was out playing and scolded me frighteningly. And then I came home completely drunk, so he must be very angry.
“…Hyu, hyung-nim.”
I unknowingly stuttered, and my saliva went down with a gulp.
Is it time to get scolded harshly now? Hyung-nim slowly turned his head, and now he was staring at me intently.
“Did you sleep well…”
I unknowingly clasped both hands politely.
I waited for a long time to see what he was going to say. If he asks why I stole condoms, what I can say is…
“Hajin-ah, put on pants before coming out.”
“Ah, yes.”
Right. I quickly went to my room to put on pants. Getting scolded in my underwear would be a bit much.
Not only that, but there was a fact I’d briefly forgotten since I’d just woken up.
I had definitely been bitterly lamenting my life that had been nothing but darkness for the past few days. Remembering that, I couldn’t keep wearing these childish pajamas with blue fish drawn on them.
So I rummaged through the drawer and pulled out a black tee and black sweatpants. This would be neither inappropriate for getting properly scolded, nor bad for expressing my recently darkened inner self.
“Hyung-nim, I came out. I put on pants too.”
When I went out to the living room, hyung-nim wasn’t on the sofa unlike before. He was in the kitchen making honey water.
“Hyung-nim, I’m sorry about yesterday.”
Clatter. The spoon hitting the cup made a loud sound for a moment, then silence flowed.
“What are you sorry for?”
“Well, yesterday I…”
“Yeah.”
How should I explain? I definitely did something wrong to hyung-nim yesterday.
I had my own reasons, but either way, stealing hyung-nim’s things was wrong. Even if it was just one condom.
So I was originally going to say I’m sorry for stealing the condom. But somehow it seemed like that’s not what hyung-nim was asking about.
“What did Hajin do yesterday that would make you sorry to me?”
“Uh, um…”
Something’s strange. I rolled my eyes for a moment.
