But aren’t there situations where even those things work?
“How could I play hard to get with hyung…?”
“You live together and see each other every day, so if you go out to have fun and don’t contact him for a few days, of course he’d be concerned, right? That’s what playing hard to get is. And I think your hyung is the type who wouldn’t like that sort of thing.”
“Really? Hyung?”
I was briefly tempted, but I didn’t really feel like doing it.
“I don’t know. Hyung isn’t that interested in me, so the only reason we’re contacting each other more often now is because we’re living together. Until last year…”
“That was when you were a high school student with a predictable routine.”
Is that so? I think I understood what Choi Jihwan was saying.
In fact, up until high school, I was like a robot vacuum cleaner that never caused any trouble. Hyung and I started getting close again after I became a ‘wild colt’ from despairing over the illness in my eyes.
“You’re an adult now, and someone who’s not even your parent is setting a curfew for you and monitoring you if your friendships look suspicious—how is that not being interested? Even if he doesn’t like you romantically, he’s definitely very concerned about you.”
Choi Jihwan’s words gradually swayed my heart. Could I really play hard to get with hyung?
“Th-then what should I do? I already sent hyung a message earlier…”
I immediately opened my phone and showed it to him.
My message from 15 minutes ago with a photo of the view outside the window was the last one, and seeing that the ‘1’ hadn’t disappeared, hyung must have been busy.
“It’s fine. Just don’t do it from now on.”
“Oh, I can do that.”
I hope hyung pays attention to me.
With a pounding heart, I quickly put my phone away.
“But why is your hair becoming more and more orange? I don’t think it was this orange originally.”
“I don’t know either… Even you think I should cover it? With my original hair color?”
“Yeah. You don’t like it either? What does hyung say?”
“He really hates it, but I’m holding out for now. I have something to negotiate with this.”
As I spoke, I glanced at my phone and suddenly came to my senses. How long had I decided to do this, yet I’d almost habitually checked to see if hyung had replied?
“Usually I reply to hyung within 3 minutes. I shouldn’t do that, right?”
“Crazy, do you just stare at your phone all day? At least try to hold back while you’re at the MT.”
“Okay, got it. I’ll try!”
Even now, I was eagerly waiting for a second kiss with hyung, but during this brief time away from his side, I absolutely would not contact him first.
The MT was a total 2-night, 3-day schedule.
Would I really be able to not send Jeongwoo hyung any messages until I go home the day after tomorrow?
***
On the first day of the MT, I immediately regretted not re-dyeing my hair.
“Crazy, there’s a talent show tonight?”
“Huh? Really?”
After unpacking, the students who had been looking around various rooms and lying down started buzzing as soon as someone mentioned it.
“Yeah, I heard from Jooyoung hyung that the College of Humanities student council spontaneously decided to do it. The first-place prize is actually beef.”
“Wow, crazy. Guys, we absolutely have to enter this.”
“Who wants to go? I think we just need to do one girl group dance—four people, come on out.”
The second-year sunbaes looked at us with gleaming eyes.
I quietly avoided eye contact. I silently prayed that they wouldn’t pick me.
But that was the moment. A student council sunbae pointed right at me with their finger.
“Hey, the friend with orange hair. You and Jihwan next to you, come on out.”
In an instant, all eyes turned to me.
“Me…?”
I’m screwed.
Apparently, the two people with flashy hair colors became the first targets. Laughter erupted from all around. With people telling us to go ahead and even applauding, we had no choice but to get up.
From then on, I had no choice but to intensely practice a girl group dance with Choi Jihwan.
The nervousness started as we headed to the auditorium where the recreation was beginning.
“I already feel like I’m dying of embarrassment. Is my face super red right now?”
“Yeah. It’s the exact same color as your hair.”
Now that I think about it, there was absolutely no need to worry about hyung.
“No matter how I think about it, I’m worried. What if bad sunbaes look at Hajin’s hair and hastily judge him?”
“What will you do if they ask you to go smoke? Will you hesitate and follow them?”
Unlike hyung’s concerns, the sunbaes didn’t have prejudices against me, didn’t offer me cigarettes, and instead taught me the most popular girl group dance of the year…
“Hajin-ah, wait a sec. This would be cute.”
Someone brought an orange ribbon and tied it in my hair. It was the sunbae who had taught us the dance earlier.
“Am I the only one doing this…?”
“Yeah, there’s only one, and I thought it would suit you best.”
My eyes shook violently. This way, I’d stand out the most among the four of us. I wanted to disappear right then and there.
“Should we take a picture? Come on, everyone gather.”
Seeing myself reflected in the sunbae’s camera made me want to disappear even more. I forced a smile with slightly detached eyes.
Click, the photo was taken.
I’m having all kinds of experiences since coming to university. I was afraid of the reality that was about to come.
***
The talent show representatives from our department were me, Choi Jihwan, Lee Gyeongho, and a guy from the student council—four people in total.
When we got on stage, the girl group song we’d intensely practiced for two hours started, and I moved stiffly.
Below, our classmates were laughing and filming with their phones raised. Camera flashes went off. Since it was a famous song, I could see people dancing the same choreography while watching the stage.
I had decided to try everything I hadn’t done before, but I didn’t know something like this would happen. With a slightly enlightened and tired face, I glanced to the side while somehow managing to complete the choreography I’d barely memorized.
“Ahhh…!”
As soon as the song ended, I covered my face with my arms and ran to the back of the stage. Han Seoyoung, who was waiting for the next performance in the talent show, laughed and hugged my shoulder, patting it.
My heart was pounding and my face was burning like fire. When I covered my cheeks with my palms, they were hot.
The result was second place.
We missed the first-place prize of beef. First place went to the Korean Literature Department, who wore wigs and makeup and performed a comedic dance. Still, the result was very satisfying.
Hehe.
The second-place prize was a snack set to eat as side dishes and fruit cocktails. I thought we wouldn’t win any prize at all because our dancing skills were terrible.
“Here, English Department representative, take your snacks!”
On stage, holding the large bag of snacks in my arms, I made a V sign to our department classmates.
Cheers erupted simultaneously.
“Long live the English Department!”
“Lee Hajin, Lee Hajin!”
It was embarrassingly mortifying, but it was a rewarding evening in its own way.
***
After that, a full-fledged drinking session began as we grilled pork by department. So many soju bottles piled up that I lost count.
After the meat ran out, drinking games continued at each table divided by groups. The sounds of clapping, laughter, and shouting mixed together, and gradually people started changing seats, with some slipping out of the pension one by one. I saw pairs disappearing together as well.
I had originally been sitting quietly next to Choi Jihwan, but before I knew it, the seats had mixed and I was sitting among classmates and sunbaes I didn’t know well.
Perhaps because I was getting tipsy, my vision was hazy and my speech slowed down.
Sunbaes and classmates recognized me and spoke to me familiarly. That’s why it had been even more hectic since earlier.
“You didn’t come to Saeteo last time, right? You should have come then too.”
Somehow the atmosphere had completely changed after the talent show. In just half a day at the MT, even all the sunbaes acted like they knew me.
I think I understood why everyone seemed much closer to each other after all the freshmen went to Saeteo together in March. So this is what an MT is like.
Even though I wasn’t speaking directly, everything was fun and I felt good.
Not having received lessons from Choi Jihwan on how to refuse alcohol yet, I was slightly tipsy. Not a lot, just a little.
“Look at him. He must be drunk from the way he’s grinning.”
There was laughter mixed in with the rumbling voice. I didn’t know who they were talking about, but I laughed along anyway. I even clapped.
“Okay, Hajin, that’s enough drinking~”
And the paper cup I was holding disappeared. I blinked blankly.
“Um…”
“Hmm?”
Just then, someone sitting next to me lightly tapped my knee. When I turned my head a bit slowly, I heard a whispering voice.
“By any chance, do you want to go eat ice cream? I want to stop drinking too.”
