Kang Juno, who had hung up the phone, had an expression as if he himself was hurt by his own words instead.
“Even though he hasn’t come yet, lying like this.”
He looked at the empty room and let out a self-deprecating hollow laugh. Since there was still about 30 minutes left until his appointment time with Ka Jerim, Ka Jerim naturally wasn’t in front of him, but at Go Yoon’s question of where he was, the words that he was right in front of Ka Jerim suddenly popped out.
Kang Juno. You’re lying every time you open your eyes. Kang Juno, who felt his own false daily life so disgusting, reprimanded himself and fell into thought, and in an instant, the time in his thoughts returned to that day.
‘Never appear in front of me again.’
Go Yoon, who acted like he would no longer look at their faces after they lied at the hospital.
Starting from that day, Fort had no contact at all for 3 months.
However, he could hear rumors about Go Yoon through the grapevine, and the contents were shocking indeed. It was said that Go Yoon would scream like having a seizure and wake up even while sleeping well, then throw hysterics at the new manager asking where the medicine was.
Also, everyone who visited Go Yoon’s house said the house was ridiculously messy, and they saw Go Yoon always keeping alcohol he didn’t even usually like by his side. And hearing the story that he always blamed and tormented himself, Kang Juno realized that it was time for Fort to stop and was organizing his feelings.
But such a Go Yoon changed one day and appeared in front of them.
He thought it was a miracle.
The one who returned could sleep comfortably without taking strong alcohol and medicine, reached out to the members first, and received their conversations well. Of course, he occasionally showed strange behavior, but everything seemed to be recovering like that.
Until he realized that everything was happiness made of lies.
“It’s raining.”
Kang Juno, who slowly raised his head, discovered it was raining and tried to erase the distracting thoughts and memories that kept rising, getting up from his seat and heading to the window. At first, he watched the raindrops falling one or two at a time gradually thicken, then thud, leaned his head against the window.
“It would be nice if I could at least hear the sound of rain.”
Was it because his head hurt too much? Because of the headache, he couldn’t even hear the sound of rain properly. Kang Juno, who was just watching the shape of raindrops slowly forming on the window and flowing down, slowly closed his eyes.
“I should quit.”
What he was going to say when meeting Ka Jerim today was to quit everything and return to their respective places.
Of course, since there was something promised when they met last time, Kang Juno had several variety shows booked for Ka Jerim. Since this was his unilateral breach of contract, he thought it was proper to do what he wanted and then quit.
“Right, let’s quit.”
Juno himself knew it was wrong to make a living person act as a dead person. But the image of Go Yoon when he wasn’t in his right mind kept coming to mind, the wish for his current appearance to be maintained was strong, so for all such selfish reasons, he told Ka Jerim to act as Cha Hohyeon.
At first, he thought this was for everyone’s benefit, but as days passed, seeing the appearance of Go Yoon and the members who believed and followed him, he gradually began to realize strongly what he had done.
Each time, he tried to erase the guilt, saying that anyway Ka Jerim was pretending to be Cha Hohyeon because he had something to gain from Go Yoon and himself, and he himself wished for Go Yoon’s stability through Ka Jerim pretending to be Cha Hohyeon, so this matched their mutual interests.
‘I want to die again.’
But as the image of Ka Jerim trying to commit suicide kept coming to mind, only then did he think something was wrong.
And although it seemed like a really crazy thought, he knew this was an absurd thing. At Ka Jerim’s words of wanting to die ‘again’, a hypothesis arose in Kang Juno’s mind.
‘What if Ka Jerim really is Hohyeon so he said “I want to die again,” and he attempted suicide shocked by what I said?’
At first, Kang Juno just thought the self-harm behavior was Ka Jerim’s mental illness. But as time passed, it was strangely odd. If he was really a rookie trying to use them to make it big, he should rather be happy hearing his proposal, but would he be shocked enough to want to die?
“No. It doesn’t make sense. That Ka Jerim is Cha Hohyeon.”
Another strange point was that as soon as Ka Jerim came to his senses, he said he would accept the contract, but he didn’t actually try to hear the specific contract details. He had a strong feeling that he just wanted to avoid that place quickly by accepting the contract.
If he had a plan to use them, instead of running away like that, he would have tried to hear all the specific contract details of the contract he proposed.
“Forget it. That can’t be. How can a dead person not be reborn but enter a living body? And as an active idol at that? But why on earth…… do I keep thinking that he might be Cha Hohyeon?”
Ka Jerim might be Cha Hohyeon.
Every time he tried to give weight to that possibility, Kang Juno kept feeling like he was going crazy. So the words telling Go Yoon to go to a psychiatric hospital were directed at Go Yoon, but actually, they were also words to himself.
“Kang Juno, come to your senses.”
He’ll settle everything today.
Go Yoon and he will receive proper psychiatric counseling and take medicine again. And he intended to cut ties with Ka Jerim, telling him he’ll do everything he wants but to stop pretending to be Cha Hohyeon in front of Go Yoon and himself anymore. It was a decision that came from thinking there wouldn’t be such confusion if he wasn’t visible before his eyes.
[Customer! Only customers with reservations can enter!!]
Then, at the sound of a commotion outside, Kang Juno turned around.
[Move aside.]
“Go Yoon?”
It was Go Yoon’s voice. When Kang Juno, who wondered how he found this place, was about to head toward the door, the door opened with a rough sound.
“Found you.”
Go Yoon, somewhat wet as if he had been caught in the rain outside, looked at Kang Juno coldly, and on both sides of Go Yoon, staff members stood as if troubled. They probably couldn’t press hard because they knew Go Yoon and Kang Juno were members of the same Fort.
“We’re sorry. He doesn’t have a prior reservation, but he kept insisting on entering……”
Originally, this was a restaurant where generally only customers with reservations could enter, so the staff seemed troubled by Go Yoon’s stubbornness to forcibly enter the room. When Kang Juno nodded toward such staff as if it was okay, they withdrew.
Tak—
When the door closed, now only Kang Juno and Go Yoon, the two of them, remained in the room. Go Yoon, who seemed to already know that Ka Jerim had come and gone, looked around the room before fixing his gaze on Kang Juno.
“Why did you do it?”
“……”
“You hate violence. But why……!”
Go Yoon looked at Kang Juno with a resentful face as soon as he entered. Kang Juno, hearing that content and understanding belatedly, twisted his face as if frustrated at Go Yoon who was reproaching him and strode toward him.
“You still don’t know me like that?”
As the two people of similar height stood confronting each other, Kang Juno opened his mouth first.
“He tried to kill himself. Ka Jerim strangled his own neck and— tried to die by biting his tongue.”
“What?”
“I just grabbed his arm and stopped him from strangling his neck. His eyes kept rolling back, so I even slapped his cheek to make him come to his senses, but Ka Jerim tried to bite his own tongue, so I even put my hand in his mouth.”
Kang Juno then showed his finger. Go Yoon, seeing the vivid traces still remaining on Kang Juno’s hand from how hard he had bitten, was surprised and stepped back. Because he thought that if he bit to that extent, his tongue could have been cut off.
“Ka Jerim seriously intended to commit suicide.”
“That’s a lie.”
Go Yoon shook his head as if he couldn’t believe it. Kang Juno was dumbfounded at Go Yoon’s appearance saying it as if Cha Hohyeon couldn’t do that.
“Why? It happened here, in this room. Why don’t you go out right now and ask the staff what happened that day? Ask if someone didn’t try to commit suicide.”
“……”
“Can’t ask?”
“That can’t be. Hohyeon would never—”
But the more Go Yoon continued speaking, the more he gradually closed his mouth as if losing confidence. It was because the image of the messed-up Cha Hohyeon he saw that day when he secretly went to find Cha Hohyeon came to mind.
Naturally, until he heard Kang Juno’s story, he thought that no matter how much Kang Juno hated violence, he hit him because his hatred for Ka Jerim was too great.
But now he didn’t know what was what at all. Go Yoon was confused as Kang Juno was explaining the circumstances too clearly and accurately, leaving him speechless. And Kang Juno, who was looking at such Go Yoon, hit Go Yoon’s vital point.
“You’re scared, in case it’s true?”
Kang Juno’s words struck Go Yoon sharply like an arrow. Because if the story that Cha Hohyeon attempted suicide was true, Go Yoon didn’t know at all what he should do.
He wanted to finally meet and treat him well. He thought Cha Hohyeon would also know this about himself. But if it was true that Cha Hohyeon tried to leave this world again, leaving such him behind, it was too much of a shock. Also, he had the fear that perhaps the cause of trying to commit suicide might be himself.
“But he thinks I made him like that.”
In the midst of already being confused, Kang Juno’s words intensified Go Yoon’s confusion even more.
“You said he tried to kill himself. But why did you say you did it……”
“He didn’t remember that he did it himself. So I said I did it.”
“Why didn’t you tell him the truth? You should have told him the truth so Hohyeon could go to the hospital!”
“Hey, if you were in that situation, you would have done the same.”
Kang Juno let out a hollow laugh as if feeling dejected.
