“I… slept enough so I’m completely fine.”
However, Yeoul swallowed the impurities of emotion that were trying to flow out with all his might. This place wasn’t home, and he was no longer a child but a proper soldier. Kang Hyeseong, who had gotten angry at him, wasn’t simply the neighbor hyung who had watched him since childhood, but a distant superior and team leader.
Instead of whining like a child, he had to calmly collect his emotions. If he cried or felt hurt just because Kang Hyeseong had scolded him once, how could he be of help to him in the future?
If that happened and Kang Hyeseong’s rejection reaction grew larger as the doctor had mentioned. Then the high matching rate between him and Kang Hyeseong would lose its meaning, he would be of no help to him at all… and in the end, the role of ‘Kang Hyeseong’s dedicated Guide’ would become embarrassing.
“…More than that, hyung, how about you? Are you hurt anywhere? You used a lot of ability. Did your wave readings go up a lot? Let me check right now…”
“Yeoul. I’m fine. More than that, you.”
“……”
“Are you really okay?”
Are you okay? The still and quiet question knocked on his heart. Kang Hyeseong finally pried open the floodgates of weak emotions that he had hidden away tightly and absolutely didn’t want to open.
Yeoul hung his head low. His tightly clenched fists trembled. He shouldn’t, he didn’t want to show himself crying in front of Kang Hyeseong like this.
Why does Kang Hyeseong, make me like this…
“Yeoul.”
“……”
“Look at me, baby.”
…call me so affectionately?
Without any reward for his endurance, hot water fell drip, drip. The tears that flowed down his cheeks hit the floor and shattered into pieces. Fixing his gaze on that sight, Yeoul stubbornly refused to raise his head.
Soon Kang Hyeseong’s palm came into his vision. He turned his head to avoid the hand wiping his wet face, but at times like this, he would never back down. How many times had this hand stroked his crying face since childhood?
“It’s my fault.”
Kang Hyeseong parted his lips heavily.
“It was within a sufficiently predictable range. I should have explained to you in advance. I should have prevented it somehow beforehand, but I didn’t. That’s my fault.”
“……”
“On top of that, I couldn’t control my emotions and yelled at you… I startled you. I’m sorry, our Ulie. You were very hurt, weren’t you?”
Hearing Kang Hyeseong’s voice acknowledging and apologizing calmly without any pretense, the cruel tears continued to leak out endlessly. He tried to stop crying by pressing and wiping his hot eyelids with the back of his hand, but it was useless.
Ah, this is the worst. I’m going to be imprinted in Kang Hyeseong’s mind again as the snotty brat next door instead of a proper soldier and partner… crying just because a superior scolded me once.
However, now that things had come to this, if he were to make an excuse using Kang Hyeseong just one more time. This was because Kang Hyeseong was excessively affectionate.
If he had just treated him as a clueless novice Guide. If he had just treated him as an overeager and clumsy rookie. If he had rather scolded him sharply and ended it there.
If they had met here as superior and subordinate, he shouldn’t have comforted him with that same affectionate face and voice he’d known for over 10 years…
“I’m sorry. Don’t cry.”
“Sob, ugh, hic, sob.”
“You were very hurt that I got angry, weren’t you? I’m sorry. Hyung is sorry.”
Hyeseong wrapped his arm around Yeoul’s waist and pulled him in. Kang Hyeseong’s embrace that was so warm and familiar it made him angry. He didn’t know how to hold back his whining in his embrace. It was because Kang Hyeseong had never taught him such things in the first place.
“Yeoul. What your rank is as a Guide, how high our matching rate is, how your purification waves feel to me… those things aren’t that important to me. What’s important to me is your health.”
While slowly brushing through his hair, Kang Hyeseong said in a low voice.
“You’re like my real younger brother. No, honestly, I don’t know. Even if I had a real younger brother, would that child have been as special to me as you are? I don’t think so.”
It was the same for him too. Adults had tried to easily judge his feelings toward Kang Hyeseong since he was young by saying “our Yeoul is like that because he has no siblings and gets very lonely.”
However, even with his young heart, Yeoul had vaguely resisted those words. It wasn’t simply because he was lonely, because he was an only child, because he wanted a hyung that he liked Kang Hyeseong. Kang Hyeseong was more than that to him.
However, perhaps because he had only been accustomed to his own feelings toward Kang Hyeseong, Yeoul didn’t know what to do upon hearing his naked sincerity. It felt like an even greater blow was pressing down on his chest than earlier when his heart had been squeezed by powerful waves. Yeoul couldn’t say anything and just breathed quietly in his embrace.
“Do you know how surprised I was earlier? I thought something was happening to you…”
Kang Hyeseong’s chest swelled greatly then settled back down. He couldn’t quite continue speaking.
“A situation like earlier repeating, I can’t tolerate it. I’ll adjust my wave readings myself. So don’t try to guide me by overexerting yourself.”
“Then, what should I do?”
With surging defiance, Yeoul pushed away his firm chest. He escaped from his embrace and looked him straight in the eye to ask.
“In this team, what should I do as a Guide? …If you’re going to adjust it yourself, then what about me? Do I just sit there like a useless sack of barley? Or should I guide the other team members?”
“What are you talking about right now, Kim Yeoul? I’m an Esper too.”
At Kang Hyeseong’s voice responding as if absurd, Yeoul looked at him with a dumbfounded feeling. What is he saying? Is there anyone in South Korea who doesn’t know Kang Hyeseong is an Esper?
“Right now, in front of your dedicated Esper, you’re talking about guiding someone else? When even I’m too precious to receive guiding.”
“Then what do you want me to do?”
When Yeoul glared at him with sharpness in his eyes, Kang Hyeseong gently took his hand. It was a hand full of wounds. Yeoul’s hand was completely enveloped in the rough hand that didn’t match his handsome prince-like face at all.
“Give me hand guiding. While wearing gloves. That’s more than enough, it’s overflowing.”
“How is that enough? I’m already A-rank and you’re S-rank.”
Yeoul glared at him with eyes full of distrust. Obviously he was just saying that to placate him. Of course, just briefly holding hands while wearing gloves did drop it by 2%… but there was no way Kang Hyeseong, whose wave impurities must be accumulated to the limit, could be satisfied with that.
“It was good. Your hand guiding.”
However, Hyeseong’s next words were enough to stop Yeoul’s thoughts.
“Incomparably more than suppressants or guiding potions, of course, and more than any other Guide.”
“……”
“To myself for feeling it was good, a bit…”
To the point of being angry.
He couldn’t fully understand the meaning of the words added like a murmur, but he couldn’t deny that his heart had been shaken violently like a swing pushed hard.
He said it was good.
Kang Hyeseong, about my guiding… said it was good.
‘I’m… being helpful to Kang Hyeseong.’
His heart pounded noisily. He could feel his cheeks flushing red. After standing speechless for a while, Yeoul quickly dropped his gaze to his feet. He didn’t really know why, but a tingling feeling arose from his chest to his palms and soles, and he couldn’t look at Kang Hyeseong properly.
“…If it was that good, receive it one more time now.”
“Absolutely not. Your recovery comes first.”
To hide his reddened face and conceal his embarrassed feelings. He deliberately subtly suggested guiding, but was flatly rejected. Yeoul, who had looked up at his face with displeasure, froze.
A complexion that looked pale to the point of being ghastly. Sharp and sensitive eyes. Lips that were so chapped that blood showed through. Such things came into his eyes. Embarrassingly, only now.
Until now, having been a civilian, he didn’t know. That face that even felt familiar was actually in a state of being pushed to the limit from lack of guiding.
How many times had Kang Hyeseong spent time saying he was fine in that condition? To his partner Guide, to the Director, and… probably to himself too.
‘…My heart hurts.’
Yeoul took a heavy breath in. He wanted to help the struggling-looking Kang Hyeseong recover. He wanted to untangle his tangled waves through guiding. He wanted to let him rest deeply… However, there was only one thing he could do for him right now.
“Okay. For the time being, we’ll just do basic guiding.”
Now was the time to let Kang Hyeseong rest rather than continuing the argument by asserting his stubbornness. At this rate he’ll really collapse. If guiding won’t work, he’ll just have to make him sleep.
“However, I have no intention of being satisfied with that. I’ll research ways to somehow raise the efficiency.”
“Kim Yeoul.”
“I’ll do it while monitoring my body’s condition too, so don’t say anything about that either. So for now, go wash up.”
Yeoul crossed his arms and glared straight at Kang Hyeseong, speaking as authoritatively as possible. Kang Hyeseong had a somewhat flustered look in his eyes.
“…Huh?”
“Go to the shower room and wash up right now. So I can put you to sleep.”
A firm order continued.
“Don’t tell me you’re thinking of working again after struggling for two whole nights? If you won’t even receive guiding from me, and you don’t listen to this either, I’ll really throw away being a dedicated Guide or whatever and leave.”
