“Um, Doctor. Then, is it possible to know Team Leader’s wave status as well…?”
“Uh…”
The doctor, who had been continuing her explanation without hesitation, showed a flustered expression for the first time.
“Well… the truth is, Director Kang is such a special person that the Security Bureau does check his wave rate in real-time with the Director’s consent. But originally, wave readings are personal information, so I can’t tell them to others. Director Kang also usually doesn’t like it being revealed to others…”
“But Doctor, I’m his dedicated Guide.”
Yeoul pleaded with an earnest face.
“Since I just did guiding too, I want to know how much Team Leader’s readings dropped. Anyway, I’ll be checking his wave rate right away when Team Leader returns. So could you please tell me his current condition…?”
The doctor, who had been pondering for a moment at Yeoul’s earnest persuasion, soon nodded readily.
“Come to think of it, Second Lieutenant Kim will be receiving real-time transmissions of Director Kang’s wave rate from now on. Since you’re his dedicated Guide. Then I’ll show you. Look here, Director Kang’s wave readings are…”
Yeoul put his head together with the attending physician and looked into the machine. The graph displayed on the screen came into view. Waves of a different color from Yeoul’s from a moment ago were writhing powerfully.
“Oh my. Second Lieutenant Kim…”
The doctor who saw the numbers displayed below opened her eyes wide and let out an exclamation.
“This is really, I have no words other than to say it’s amazing.”
“Did it drop a lot…?”
“Yes. Right now, Director Kang’s wave reading is 61%. This is the first time I’ve seen waves stabilize this much from such brief contact.”
61%… Yeoul nodded with a dazed feeling. He had held hands for a few minutes doing basic guiding, and the bare-handed guiding after taking off his gloves had lasted only a few seconds. Yet just with that brief contact alone, it had dropped 4%.
Earlier, he had complained to Kang Hyeseong that it had only dropped a few percent, but when he thought about it carefully, his words that even this much was amazing were right.
Because he had learned that when guiding an Esper of the same rank, it takes between 30 minutes to over an hour to lower waves by about 5% through basic guiding, depending on the matching rate.
‘But… I fainted.’
Yeoul sighed with a gloomy feeling. He understood that the efficiency was good because of his high matching rate with Kang Hyeseong, but the problem was that he found it overwhelming to accept him. Whether the reason stemmed from the difference in rank or from his own weak stamina.
If he could, he wanted to ask the doctor about Kang Hyeseong’s previous dedicated Guide. What she was like. In what way she had accepted and purified Kang Hyeseong’s waves. However, no matter how curious he was, he couldn’t carelessly ask about another person’s personal information.
The attending physician got up and rummaged through the bag she had brought, then handed him a potion.
“This is a stabilization potion for Guides. Drink it and lie down and rest a bit. You’ll probably get sleepy. And… as your attending physician, may I offer a word of advice?”
Yeoul, who had opened his eyes wide, nodded as he received the potion. The doctor continued in a careful tone.
“Since the guiding efficiency is so good, Second Lieutenant Kim’s motivation may get ahead of you. I understand. I think I would too. Because Director Kang’s condition was really terrible.”
“…Yes.”
He was grateful to the doctor who warmly empathized with his feelings first. Yeoul slowly nodded.
“However, if an Esper feels that their Guide sustains internal injuries every time they do guiding, what Esper could receive guiding with peace of mind? If it’s an Esper who respects and cherishes their partner, they would naturally be reluctant to receive guiding, and in the worst case, a rejection reaction could form.”
Rejection reaction… That word flew and stuck in Yeoul’s heart like a glass shard. The intense internal injury he had felt a moment ago came back to life.
If such a reaction continued.
Kang Hyeseong, who cherishes him terribly, wouldn’t try to receive guiding from him more and more in the future.
“So from now on, please guide while considering Second Lieutenant Kim’s condition as well. You understand, right? Because mutual trust is very important between Espers and Guides.”
“…Yes, I’ll keep that in mind.”
Yeoul nodded and replied gloomily. His heart felt empty and stung, but it was advice he truly needed. He was grateful to her for giving such advice generously.
He became a bit embarrassed belatedly for rushing in recklessly without thinking. No matter how efficient his greedy guiding was, from a long-term perspective it was something that wouldn’t help at all. Because Kang Hyeseong wouldn’t just stand by and watch such things, like how he had gotten very angry a moment ago.
However, Yeoul couldn’t help but be startled by the doctor’s next words.
“I was really surprised earlier. It was the first time I heard Director Kang call in such a frightening voice.”
“Pardon…?”
“He’s famous for never showing a disheveled appearance no matter how high his wave readings get. He must have been very worried about Second Lieutenant Kim. That’s why I offered a word too. Because that appearance of Director Kang was a first.”
Kang Hyeseong, because of me… The image of him losing his reason and getting angry a moment ago was vividly recalled once again. Yeoul nodded blankly.
“Then rest well. This is my number, so if you feel even the slightest abnormality in your body, or if you need anything more, please contact me.”
“Yes, Doctor. Thank you so much.”
When the doctor left the office, Yeoul was left alone in a daze. When he opened the medicine bottle and brought it to his mouth, a terribly bitter smell wafted out. It was almost identical to the smell of the medicine Kang Hyeseong had taken several times.
He carefully brought the potion to his mouth and tilted it. It tasted bitter enough to make him involuntarily gag. Yeoul, who was grimacing and gagging, could only find stability after running to the water purifier and drinking a glass of water.
‘…Foolish Kang Hyeseong.’
So, Kang Hyeseong had been enduring all this time by taking this unsatisfying potion.
His throat was sore and his chest felt empty. He was upset. When he thought of him getting frighteningly angry at him, he should hate and resent him, but why did he only feel sorry for him?
He returned to Kang Hyeseong’s break room and lay on the bed. He was in a position where he couldn’t deploy anyway, and if he needed to rest sufficiently to get better, he had to rest well starting now. So he could recover quickly and guide Kang Hyeseong again.
Even when he closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep, the flow of his thoughts helplessly turned toward one person. Was Kang Hyeseong doing well by now? Wasn’t he overexerting himself using his ability again, raising his wave readings…
“…Foolish Kang Hyeseong.”
He muttered the word “foolish” twice as if venting.
If it were the usual Kang Hyeseong, he would give a stuffy reprimand like “What kind of language is that for a brat?” If he’s going to scold, he shouldn’t look at him with eyes that say he’s adorably dying of cuteness… Because he’s always so soft like that, his own bad habits develop.
If such a gentle person got so angry at him, just how surprised must he have been?
The hand gestures desperately shaking him, his contorted face, his voice trembling uncharacteristically for Kang Hyeseong—all of it came to mind automatically. The thick sadness pooled in his chest slowly melted away.
Yet still, Kang Hyeseong’s voice shouting roughly at him lingered in his ears without fading easily. Continuously.
Yeoul, who had been staring blankly at the ceiling with no pattern, soon began to blink his heavy eyelids. Until just a moment ago he thought he was fine, but it seemed his body had been strained after all. The fact that he had gone to the field for the first time and been extremely tense must have played a part too.
Blink, blink. It didn’t take long for his eyes to close completely. In his gradually fading consciousness, Yeoul quietly reached out and touched Hyeseong’s face that appeared.
***
How long had he slept? Yeoul vaguely regained consciousness at a touch that felt both familiar and distant.
‘Kang Hyeseong…’
Yes, it was definitely Kang Hyeseong’s. This touch that stroked his head so carefully. Convinced of this, Yeoul’s eyes flew open.
His surroundings were very dark. The light of the night view coming in between the blinds hanging on the window vaguely revealed his outline. He could smell the outside scent from him, who still hadn’t taken off his combat uniform.
It had definitely been bright daylight earlier, so just how many hours had he slept? He was dumbfounded. Yeoul, who sat up straight on the bed, rubbed his face roughly with both hands and washed his face dry.
“…You’re back? What time is it now?”
“Just past midnight. I heard your general condition from the doctor earlier, but how’s your body, Yeoul? You’re not dizzy or nauseous?”
A low voice whispered softly in the darkness. Kang Hyeseong added that he didn’t want to wake him while he was sleeping, but he was worried about his condition and wanted to check.
Kang Hyeseong’s voice, perfectly intact and no different from usual.
For some reason, hearing that voice made him feel like crying. It felt like waking up after having a terrible nightmare. Like his childhood self used to do, he wanted to tattle to Kang Hyeseong about every little detail.
That he had a very bad and scary dream. That he fainted while guiding hyung, and hyung got very frighteningly angry at him…
‘Did you? It’s okay. A dream is just a dream. It’s all gone now.’
When he used to whine about having nightmares and being scared as a child, Kang Hyeseong would pull him into his arms and pat him. He would wipe his hair soaked in cold sweat and whisper like that. Then he could be held in that reliable embrace, quickly forget about bad dreams and smoothly fall into sweet slumber.
How nice it would be if he could do that now too.
“Ul-ah?”
“…Ah, yeah.”
At the affectionate call no different from usual, something burst out with a surge. It was an emotion he had been pressing down very hard during the day.
Kang Hyeseong who acted like a stranger only when it came to guiding, resentment and self-blame about his body that wasn’t like others, and fear that he wouldn’t be of much help to him. All of those things poured out in a flood and tried to erode his heart.
