# Chapter 76
“What time is it?”
“Not quite 9:30.”
“Ah… What about Auntie?”
“I talked to her when she went out to buy porridge. She said not to think about looking at houses today and just rest and take care of yourself.”
Mo Eunje felt guilty that he still hadn’t made a choice despite Song Yeonhwa taking time to show him houses even on Sunday. She told him not to worry about time and to focus only on carefully selecting a house, saying it was fine to look a few more times, but human psychology didn’t work that way. He had promised to look at houses for exactly one week straight to make a decision as quickly as possible, and Song Yeonhwa had adjusted her schedule accordingly, so he felt terribly sorry for falling ill on the sixth day.
“Let’s eat first and then go to the hospital.”
The hand that had been cooling his fever moved away, and Mo Eunje opened his eyes with regret. Tae Igyeol pulled the custom-made movable bed table, which he had pushed to the foot of the bed, up to Mo Eunje’s chest.
“Forget it. What hospital?”
“You have a fever now. We should at least get some fever reducer.”
Until just a while ago, he had only had severe muscle pain without a fever, but in the span of an hour, his temperature had risen. Perhaps due to the fever, his mind definitely felt foggy. Fortunately, he didn’t have a headache on top of everything else.
“I don’t like porridge…”
Mo Eunje muttered as he saw the name of the porridge shop written on the disposable bowl that was placed on the table. While he didn’t have strong likes or dislikes for other foods, strangely, the distinctive smell of porridge was off-putting to him.
“That’s why I added plenty of abalone, so at least eat the abalone.”
“Even the abalone tastes like porridge.”
“Or is there something else you want to eat? If you can think of anything, just tell me. I’ll go get it.”
“Not really. I just don’t have an appetite…”
Tae Igyeol, sitting on the edge of the bed, opened the porridge bowl lid and pretended not to hear as he placed a spoon in Mo Eunje’s hand. Steam rose from the porridge filled with abalone, which he must have just purchased.
“Your appetite is gone because of the fever. You can leave some, but try to eat a little bit.”
If he had his way, he’d rather just lie down and sleep regardless of the porridge or anything else. Unlike his usual self, who considered the act of eating delicious food as happiness itself, he didn’t even have the desire to eat anything at all. However, he couldn’t turn away the special abalone porridge that Tae Igyeol had gone out to buy, despite Mo Eunje clearly stating he had no desire for food.
“Thank you. I’ll eat well.”
As he brought a spoonful to his mouth, strangely, the distinctive smell of porridge wasn’t there. Even when he put it in his mouth and chewed, he couldn’t taste anything, as if he had lost his sense of taste. Paradoxically, this allowed Mo Eunje to spoon it diligently, albeit slowly, and chew earnestly after putting it in his mouth.
“Are you sure you don’t need to go to the hospital? Getting an IV drip might help.”
“I’ll be fine after a good sleep. It’s a hassle because I’d have to wash up to go out.”
“Why worry about that when going to the hospital? If you’re sick, you can go out without washing.”
“You’re telling me to go looking like a beggar, when you showered properly at home before going to the hospital that time you sprained your ankle playing basketball?”
“Seeing how you can talk back without missing a beat, I guess you’re not deathly ill.”
Apparently, Tae Igyeol couldn’t see that just speaking was torture for Mo Eunje, who was exhaling hot breath and speaking slowly and with difficulty. Though he wasn’t deathly ill, he had no energy at all, as if someone had completely drained his vitality. Forget about getting out of bed; even after eating some porridge, he felt extremely hungry, yet even lifting the spoon was a struggle. Mo Eunje sighed and put down his spoon in the porridge bowl, which was still more than half full, and stared at Tae Igyeol.
“What?”
“I’m too sick to have the strength to use a spoon.”
“If you’re done, I’ll clean it up. Don’t force yourself and get indigestion again.”
“I’m hungry.”
“…What do you want me to do about it?”
Tae Igyeol furrowed his brow and responded sarcastically. If he had been in good condition, Mo Eunje would have used a lisp to act cute at this timing, but even that required energy, which was impossible in his current floppy paper doll state. So he tried to make the most pitiful expression possible, but he was truly so sick that he couldn’t even manage that and could barely move his mouth.
“Eunje is hungry, but doesn’t have the strength to use a spoon…”
“…”
“Our strong Igyeol’s hands must have plenty of strength, right?”
It wasn’t like Mo Eunje wanted to make such an embarrassing request. But he had no choice. His stomach was extremely hungry, but his arms were tingling and aching, leaving him without the strength to hold a spoon. However, since he could open his mouth, his intention was just to borrow Tae Igyeol’s hands for a moment. Knowing that Tae Igyeol would normally be disgusted by such potentially embarrassing behavior, Mo Eunje had just tried asking once, knowing it would be rejected. But then,
“What are you doing? Don’t you even have the strength to open your mouth?”
A spoonful of porridge with abalone was extended in front of Mo Eunje’s mouth. Tae Igyeol, who would normally frown and express all kinds of irritation before reluctantly helping, was now doing it willingly without a single complaint. When Mo Eunje opened his mouth in surprise, the spoon entered.
“Tell me when you’re full. Don’t force yourself to eat.”
“…Are you really Tae Igyeol? Why are you being so nice?”
“You say you don’t have the strength to hold a spoon, but you seem to have enough strength to pick a fight. Use that energy to feed yourself.”
“Ah—”
Afraid that Tae Igyeol might put down the spoon, Mo Eunje quickly opened his mouth with an “Ah” sound. The porridge approached his mouth again, and he ate it naturally.
“Wait a moment.”
Tae Igyeol, who had been feeding him a few more times, stood up. He went out of the bedroom and soon returned with a tumbler filled with water and a straw inserted. It was incomprehensible how someone with such a gruff appearance could do something so cute and thoughtful.
“Drink some water.”
Honestly, if he used both hands, Mo Eunje could have held the tumbler to drink for a moment, but instead, he wiggled his fingers under the movable bed table and just opened his mouth to suck on the straw. Even though the tumbler could have been placed on the table, allowing him to drink by just slightly moving his head, he didn’t reject the kind gesture of having it held right in front of his mouth.
Being sick allowed him to receive such luxurious care from Tae Igyeol—truly something to witness in a long life. For some reason, a ticklish sensation arose deep inside his chest.
“Later, if you get sick, I’ll take really good care of you.”
“Just don’t get sick yourself.”
“Sorry for being a bother.”
“That’s not what I meant. I’m saying I worry when you’re sick.”
“Yes. Thank you.”
Mo Eunje thought that if Tae Igyeol ever got sick in the future, he would definitely take care of him with all his heart and soul. He would not only feed him but also wash his hair, help him shower, help him change clothes, and take care of all sorts of errands so that Tae Igyeol wouldn’t have to lift a finger.
But even searching through his memories to the distant past, he couldn’t recall Tae Igyeol ever being sick. There were rare occasions when he got injured during sports, but being so healthy and strong, Tae Igyeol rarely even caught colds. Because of this, apart from the time in school when he had severe indigestion from eating castella and went to the emergency room, Mo Eunje couldn’t remember anything else.
“I’m full now. I’ll stop eating.”
Somehow, the porridge bowl was now showing its bottom. He could have finished it cleanly with just five or six more spoonfuls, but it seemed better to stop here because being too full would be difficult. Mo Eunje sucked on the straw that approached his mouth again and drank water. After Mo Eunje finished drinking, Tae Igyeol moved the movable bed table to the foot of the bed.
“Don’t lie down right away. Sit up for 10 minutes to help digestion. I’ll go buy some fever reducer.”
“Didn’t you buy it with the porridge earlier?”
“You didn’t have a fever then, so I only bought medicine for body aches.”
“Then I’ll just take that. The body ache medicine has fever-reducing properties too. Why bother going out again?”
Tae Igyeol approached and sat back on the bed, covering Mo Eunje’s forehead with his palm to check his fever. Thanks to the cool temperature of his palm, even this minimal contact immediately spread a refreshing coolness. Though it had improved since before eating the porridge, a feverish sensation was still felt on his neck and face, indicating lingering low-grade fever. Instinctively, Mo Eunje grabbed both of Tae Igyeol’s wrists and guided his cool palms to wrap around his neck, then closed his eyes.
“Ah, that feels nice…”
“I think it would be better to go to the hospital.”
“It’s not that serious. I’m just overly tired from suddenly working after always playing around. I’ll be completely better after sleeping.”
“Then wait. I’ll go buy a fever reducer.”
“Being sick is nice. Tae Igyeol does everything for me.”
Mo Eunje weakly smiled and held the back of Tae Igyeol’s hands with his palms, which were still wrapped around his neck. He had changed positions to follow the cool sensation, as the wrists he had been holding had become lukewarm.
“Eunje.”
“Yes?”
“From now on, I’ll do everything for you even when you’re not sick, so please don’t get sick.”
Mo Eunje heavily lifted his eyelids at the somehow affectionate voice. Tae Igyeol’s face was at such a close distance that Mo Eunje could clearly see his own reflection in those grayish eyes.
The straight forehead, the well-defined nose bridge, the neat eyebrows and deep eyes, the beautiful colored irises and evenly trembling eyelashes, the luscious lips matching his white and clean skin. There wasn’t a single part of him that wasn’t handsome.
He thought he had seen Tae Igyeol’s face to the point of boredom over the past 26 years, but that wasn’t the case. Now he realized that it was good he hadn’t done it when Tae Igyeol had suggested seeing if they’d get tired of each other. If he had, it wouldn’t have been just 3 hours, but not even 3 days would have been enough—maybe 3 months, or 3 years, or perhaps even 30 years would pass without getting bored, and he would have spent his time like a mourning stone, sitting in that same spot just staring at Tae Igyeol’s face. The fact that he was thinking such things unconsciously made him realize that being sick must be making him feel emotional, bringing a vague smile to his face.
“Why are you smiling?”
“…Because I’m happy.”
“Is it that nice that I’m taking good care of you?”
“Yes. I think I’m crazy. Why am I happy when I’m sick?”
He kept laughing like someone with a screw loose. Even laughing was a struggle, so it was only at the level of chuckling, but strangely, he felt happy and couldn’t stop the weak laughter that flowed. He was happy but also felt a tender sadness, as if he might cry.
The palms that had been on his neck now cupped both his cheeks. Just a moment ago, he had thought Tae Igyeol’s hands had become lukewarm, but when they touched his cheeks, they felt cool again, and Mo Eunje, drawn to the cool sensation, nuzzled his cheeks against Tae Igyeol’s palms.
“…Eunje.”
“Yes?”
“I’ll really take good care of you. So…”
Tae Igyeol trailed off and met his gaze. At some point, Mo Eunje’s fever had risen further, making his mind hazy, and he slowly blinked his heavy eyelids, fully receiving the deep gaze of those dark, sunken eyes.
“So, what?”
“…Don’t get sick.”
“Seeing how you’re repeating the same thing, I must look pretty bad right now.”
Mo Eunje grinned foolishly, not even realizing his speech had slowed down. Just then, Tae Igyeol’s phone, which was on the side table, rang, and Mo Eunje’s mind, which had been drifting as if drunk with sleep, returned with a jolt.
“I’ll go buy the fever reducer. Just wait a moment.”
The cool sensation that had been caressing his cheeks moved away. Tae Igyeol got up, took his phone and the empty porridge bowl, and left the bedroom. For a moment, it was as if he had been dreaming, his mind briefly blurred, and his sense of reality disappeared.
“…I’m crazy.”
Mo Eunje buried his flushed face in his knees as he drew up his legs and hugged them.
While Tae Igyeol was holding his cheeks with his wide palms and looking into his eyes, Mo Eunje had momentarily had the crazy thought that he wished he were the person Tae Igyeol had a one-sided love for. He had the insane imagination that if Tae Igyeol continued to be kind to him like this, he would only be happy in the future.
The feelings he had sealed away eight years ago had almost burst forth, taking advantage of his weakened state from the fever.
