# Chapter 149
But Mom and Dad,
I don’t understand anymore why someone should be unhappy by killing their own heart. I don’t understand anymore why I shouldn’t be happy when I clearly know how to be happy.
Would it be too much to say that Igyeol and I were destined to love each other ever since Mom and Aunt became friends, and Dad and Uncle became friends too, and you promised to be in-laws even before we were born? Though it’s a cliché, strangely, I keep thinking that from that moment, our fate was determined in a way I couldn’t resist.
I can’t even dare to imagine how much my parents’ hearts will ache while reading this letter, how hurt you’ll be because of my love, how confused you’ll be because of your son who is trying to walk a different path from others. Perhaps Mom and Dad can’t imagine how much I love Igyeol and how happy I am because of him either.
I know that realistically, it’s difficult to live loving the same gender in Korean society. But looking at it from the other side, it seems that for this reason, we have no choice but to cherish and value each other more, and love each other harder.
Take care of yourself. That’s what Mom and Dad have told me since I was in kindergarten. I’ll take care of myself. Don’t worry too much. I’ve never disappointed Mom and Dad even once until now, right?
So please, watch over me. Please trust my choice and support me just this once.
I sincerely wish for Mom and Dad’s health and happiness every day. It might be difficult to do it every day, but please wish for my health and happiness occasionally. I want to be happy with Igyeol. I felt true happiness because I love Igyeol. I don’t want to lose that feeling.
I want to continue living as Mom and Dad’s happy son, just like now. Just as Mom and Dad find happiness in each other, I can only be happy when Igyeol is by my side.
But if my happiness becomes Mom and Dad’s unhappiness, and if you oppose until the end, I’ll reconsider my happiness again. I don’t want to be the only one who’s happy while Mom and Dad are unhappy. Even if I lose my happiness, I won’t resent Mom and Dad.
I’m sorry for surprising you again and causing you worry.
Mom and Dad, I love you.
Even if you oppose, the fact that I love Mom and Dad won’t change. But if you give me permission, I’ll love you even more. Take care.
From your only son Eunje, who loves Mom and Dad.
- But I really like Igyeol so much, can you please give me permission just this once? (T_T)
After reading the letter that had been lying lonely on the bed, a profound silence lingered in the room for quite some time. The content was long, spanning 5 pages, but it also took a long time to decipher the scrawled handwriting that looked like worms crawling around.
Unlike Mo Yeongwoo, who had read the letter once, Han Seola read the letter repeatedly over and over again. She could neither ignore nor acknowledge the heartfelt feelings that her only son had sincerely expressed.
“Seola. Let’s give our permission.”
Mo Yeongwoo put his arm around Han Seola’s shoulders. Han Seola’s eyes had turned red.
“You… how can this be acceptable?”
“Dragging this out will only make it harder for you and the kids. We don’t need to have awkward moments with Hyunseok and Yeonhwa. Let’s give them our blessing and spend the rest of our vacation at ease. Okay?”
“Why is everything so easy for everyone? You and Yeonhwa, why are you all so desperate to make me out to be the only bad person?”
Han Seola was already struggling to accept this situation. But she was bewildered by how easily Mo Yeongwoo and Song Yeonhwa seemed to accept their sons’ relationship. She questioned whether this was a decision to be made so easily. It wasn’t even easy to acknowledge it, let alone give permission.
“If we’ll end up giving permission anyway, why go through the pain of scratching and hurting each other? There will be plenty of people pointing fingers and cursing at them even without us, so we should at least embrace them.”
“So why does my son have to walk such a difficult path in the first place!”
“Didn’t you read the letter? He says he likes Igyeol. If both Eunje and Igyeol say they can’t be without each other, how can we stop their feelings?”
“Honey. Oppa. Mo Yeongwoo. If Eunje is like this, we, as parents, should come to our senses. How long do you think these feelings will last?”
No one can guarantee anything. In a world where most people end up breaking up even if they promise eternity as if they only have each other. But that statement was no different from asking why live when we’ll all die eventually. Just as we live our best lives while knowing we’ll die someday, there is value in loving fully by being true to current emotions, even knowing that the possibility of breaking up is wide open.
“Right. I understand how you feel. Honestly, if Eunje had said he liked some other guy, I would have opposed it vehemently and even broken Eunje’s legs to keep him locked up and prevent them from meeting. But it’s Igyeol, whom we know and trust as much as our own son.”
“I’m saying it’s not about whether it’s Igyeol or not right now.”
“Then what bothers you the most? That they’re the same gender?”
“……”
Han Seola couldn’t answer and dropped her wavering eyes to the floor. Mo Yeongwoo warmly held Han Seola’s hands and continued speaking in a gentle voice.
“To be honest, that bothers me the most too. I wanted to be a caring grandfather when Eunje got married and had children later. We talked about that sometimes, didn’t we? Now that we have the means, let’s do for our grandchild all the things we couldn’t do for Eunje. But I wonder if that was just our selfishness.”
“Why is that selfish? We just want to enjoy what others normally do, how is that selfish?”
“I think maybe we’re trying too hard to fit into others’ standards. When I put all that aside and just thought about Eunje, I found an answer surprisingly easily.”
“……”
“I want to give permission because it’s Igyeol. If it had been some random good-for-nothing guy, it would have been out of the question, I’m telling you. He’s the son of Hyunseok and Yeonhwa, and he’s Igyeol whom we think of as a son, so what is there to worry about?”
Mo Yeongwoo used an expression he normally wouldn’t, “some random good-for-nothing guy,” while carefully watching Han Seola’s reaction. As Han Seola’s hand tensed up, her eyelashes fluttering, he held her hand even more firmly. Then he made her look up and steadily met her eyes.
“…Seola. You’re a cool-headed and wise person. Think about it. Are you trying to fit Eunje into a life defined by society, or are you truly opposing this for Eunje’s sake?”
“Are you saying I’m not thinking of Eunje right now?”
“I still vividly remember what you said when Eunje was born. You said you’d be happy if he lived healthily and happily, even if he wasn’t good at studying or was a troublemaker.”
“……”
“But our Eunje did well in his studies, wasn’t a troublemaker, and although he got sick often, he never worried us with his health. He’s just asking for permission for one thing—happiness.”
“…Why does it have to be happiness…”
Unable to finish her sentence, Han Seola finally burst into tears that she had been holding back. Mo Yeongwoo embraced her and stroked her back to comfort her. In Han Seola’s hands were the 5 pages of the letter that Mo Eunje had written, tightly clutched.
&
It was late afternoon. Tae Iden had gone out for a walk with his grandfather to avoid the heavy atmosphere at home, and Grandmother was making something in the kitchen, producing clattering sounds. Judging from the rich baking smell filling the entire house, she seemed to be baking bread.
Tae Igyeol and Mo Eunje, who had been cooped up in their room, came out to the living room after being summoned by the adults. Mo Yeongwoo, Han Seola, Song Yeonhwa, and Tae Hyunseok were sitting side by side on the living room sofa, and somehow, it felt like they had to stand before them with their heads bowed like criminals receiving punishment.
Their steps slowed as they approached, not having the courage to look the adults directly in the eyes. Just then, a cool touch reached their hands. Looking up, Tae Igyeol gave a gentle smile and interlaced his fingers with Mo Eunje’s hand, which he had lightly held. Although Mo Eunje wondered if it was appropriate to hold hands so conspicuously in front of the adults in this atmosphere, just holding hands made him feel so much more at ease that he firmly held Tae Igyeol’s interlaced hand in return.
“We’ve finished talking among ourselves.”
As Tae Igyeol and Mo Eunje stood before the adults, Tae Hyunseok opened the conversation in a casual tone.
“What can we do when you two say you’re so crazy about each other? And Grandmother has already given her permission anyway.”
Song Yeonhwa’s following words somewhat alleviated their anxiety. However, since Mo Eunje was facing his parents for the first time since leaving the letter in their room, his mouth became dry as he couldn’t predict how his parents would react.
He glanced at Han Seola. Her eyes were red as if she had been crying, and when she opened her mouth, her voice was hoarse.
“Igyeol. Do you know what type of painkiller works best for Eunje?”
“Dexibuprofen. Aspirin, acetaminophen, or ibuprofen types don’t seem to have much effect on Eunje.”
Tae Igyeol answered Han Seola’s unexpected question with a confident tone. Mo Eunje examined the adults’ expressions, wondering why they were suddenly talking about painkillers, but except for Song Yeonhwa, who had a gentle smile, everyone else looked perplexed.
