# Chapter 147
“Hyuuung……”
Being an actor after all, Tae Iden easily became immersed in emotion and handed over a bundle of tissues with tears welling up in his eyes. After receiving it and pressing it firmly against his eyes, Mo Eunje felt his nose was completely blocked, so he blew his nose thoroughly. He really couldn’t understand what all this was about.
“Wait here for a moment. I need to talk with your uncle privately.”
Tae Igyeol spoke in a reassuring tone, making eye contact with Mo Eunje affectionately.
“I’ll be right back.”
Treating Tae Iden like he was invisible, Tae Igyeol gave Mo Eunje a light kiss on the lips and instantly went outside. It happened so quickly there wasn’t even time to react.
“Was that person who just left really my brother…? Wow, Tae Igyeol…”
Tae Iden muttered something incomprehensible.
Mo Eunje was standing there stupidly and had lost his turn in the confusion, but he was relieved to have gained some reprieve in the process. At the same time, even if it meant being called a coward and pathetic, he hoped Han Seola would be persuaded by Song Yeonhwa before his turn came. He didn’t want to hurt anyone or be hurt. No matter how many times he ran simulations, there was no way to avoid either himself or Han Seola getting hurt during the permission-seeking process, and his heart was already aching.
It was something he would have to face sooner or later, and he had prepared himself, but when it actually happened, it wasn’t easy and he wanted to run away. But contrary to his desperate desire to escape, he couldn’t run. His love for Tae Igyeol suppressed his natural tendency to avoid conflict. He wanted to receive permission and recognition so he could love proudly, at least in front of his family.
After gathering his resolve once more, Mo Eunje took a deep breath and prepared paper and pen. Rather than rambling verbally and being counter-persuaded by the cool-headed Han Seola, it seemed better to organize his thoughts in writing. Although it would be frustrating not to immediately see Mo Yeongwoo and Han Seola’s reactions since it wouldn’t be in the form of a dialogue, delivering his opinion clearly without misunderstanding was the priority.
Entering the room, Mo Eunje began writing, pressing down firmly on each character with sincerity. This time, he would not run away. He earnestly hoped his sincerity would reach his parents.
&
Song Yeonhwa and Han Seola sat facing each other at a café that was a 10-minute walk away. Since they usually met as couples, it had been several years since the two of them visited a café alone together. They occasionally went for massages together, but when eating or having tea, they always went as couples.
A cup of coffee with ice was placed in front of each of them. After keeping silent until condensation formed on the glass cups, Song Yeonhwa spoke first.
“Seola, how many years has it been for us?”
“…36 years.”
“We’ve really been together a long time… When we first became close, I never thought we’d be lifelong friends.”
“Back then, I had difficult family circumstances, so I had little room to breathe and my personality was a bit cold. That’s why you misunderstood me at first.”
Looking back, both Han Seola and Song Yeonhwa had lived fiercely to enjoy their current comfort. Throughout that process, the grandmother’s role in raising the children was immense, which helped them find economic stability a little faster.
“Back when I was following Hyunseok oppa around, I really wanted to get married quickly even if it meant living in a single room with nothing. I was anxious because there were so many women around him.”
Although Han Seola’s mind was complicated with thoughts of Tae Igyeol and Mo Eunje, she smiled faintly when Song Yeonhwa brought up memories from the past. This was deliberately brought up to clear Han Seola’s mind. Their 36 years together were not accumulated in vain.
“Right. Hyunseok oppa was popular. Good-looking with a nice personality, and he even appeared in movies. Everyone at school knew Tae Hyunseok.”
“I was so anxious. But do you remember how we talked about having a joint wedding back then? That’s why I waited for you to finish medical school and get adjusted to hospital work.”
If not for their extraordinary friendship, Tae Hyunseok and Song Yeonhwa would have married several years earlier. But because they promised to have their weddings together and go on honeymoons together, time passed as they kept that promise. Of course, they didn’t have a joint wedding but held them a day apart, though they did keep their promise to go on honeymoons together. This was possible because Song Yeonhwa waited until Han Seola was settled.
“Back then, we thought a joint wedding would cut costs in half. It all depends on how you do it. Still, I was happy that we got married a day apart and went on our honeymoons together.”
“Yes. That was one of the best things we did.”
As they talked about something else briefly, Han Seola’s heart, which had been pounding anxiously from shock, gradually began to find its normal rhythm, and her nauseous, churning stomach began to settle. Earlier, she had been so surprised that her hands were trembling, and it felt like the world might end at any moment.
“At first, I really wanted to earn a lot of money so I could raise my son without letting him envy others.”
“Me too. I struggled to earn every penny because I wanted to raise our Eunje without lacking anything. I really lived giving it my all.”
“But Seola, that’s what I thought too, but when I came to my senses, the child was growing up well in grandmother’s hands, and I was only thinking about expanding my business out of my own greed. At first, it definitely wasn’t about my ambition for work.”
Han Seola couldn’t maintain her expression, feeling a numbing shock like being hit on the back of the head with a blunt object. Her insides grew hot as Song Yeonhwa easily admitted something she knew but couldn’t bring herself to acknowledge. Perhaps saying it was for her son was just an excuse. It might have started that way, but everything changes as time goes by.
“Seola, I didn’t give permission because I wasn’t worried. If he had brought some other guy, I would have cut ties with my son to avoid seeing that.”
“…You call that permission?”
“It’s Eunje. The precious son you raised well. How could I not give permission when it’s Eunje?”
Han Seola couldn’t bring herself to say the same. She couldn’t say she would accept Tae Igyeol because he was the precious son Song Yeonhwa had raised well. It wasn’t a problem with the person, but with the gender. The fact that they were the same gender was too big a barrier. She had thought of herself as an open-minded person, but that was a misconception. It was extremely difficult to accept the fact that her only son was in a homosexual relationship, and she couldn’t acknowledge it. She didn’t want to acknowledge it.
“I couldn’t accept it even if it were your son.”
“I know. You’re a person of principle. If it were Iden, I might have jokingly asked you to accept him nicely since I raised my son well, but honestly, even though I gave birth to Igyeol, sometimes I feel awkward and uncomfortable with him.”
“……”
“But with a guy like that… when I went to see Eunje when he was sick, he was feeding him porridge and giving him medicine one pill at a time. And when Igyeol had his cast, Eunje did the same for him. Even I have never done that much when Igyeol was sick, but there they were, doing that for each other…”
Neither Han Seola nor Song Yeonhwa had memories of feeding their children or giving them medicine when they were sick. The grandmother had done all of that. It wasn’t an excuse or a pretext—at that time, both couples truly had to devote themselves to work to the point where they could barely take care of themselves because their circumstances weren’t good. They had worked tirelessly not to pass down poverty to their children.
“Do you know which type of painkiller works best for Eunje?”
“Painkiller? Why are you suddenly talking about painkillers?”
“I don’t know which medicine works better for Igyeol or Iden. But Eunje and Igyeol know even that much and take care of each other.”
“Our Eunje is…”
Han Seola let her words trail off. No matter how hard she tried to recall, she couldn’t remember which type of painkiller worked better for Mo Eunje. Even though she was a plastic surgeon, her profession as a doctor made her embarrassment more acute. She suddenly realized that she hadn’t given detailed attention to her only son, Mo Eunje.
However, even if she could turn back time, Han Seola would live the same life she had lived until now. She didn’t regret the time she had frantically spent from moving into an 80-pyeong apartment in Seoul on an excessive loan as jeonse until eventually purchasing it. Thanks to that, she was able to raise Mo Eunje without him envying others. Even if she couldn’t take care of him in detail.
“You didn’t even know when Eunje was sick and bedridden, did you?”
“…Now that we live separately, I wouldn’t know if he doesn’t tell me.”
Thinking back, even when they lived together, there were numerous instances where she didn’t know he was sick until Mo Eunje mentioned it. She seemed to have unconsciously thought it was natural for a grown son to go to the hospital and take medicine on his own rather than reporting to his mother every time he was sick.
“Do you know why I wanted to stay at the hospital when Igyeol was hospitalized, but left him with Eunje and went home?”
“Yeonhwa. Let’s not talk about this. I don’t want to fight with you.”
“I’m trying to persuade you because I don’t want to fight with you either. The person my sick son wanted by his side wasn’t his mother but Eunje. And it was the same for Eunje.”
“That’s just a habit from whenever they were sick since they were young—”
“No. That habit was ultimately formed while we were prioritizing our own work. I think I vaguely anticipated that this day would come while watching the kids.”
“You anticipated this and still let them be together like that? If something seemed off, you should have sent Eunje down to Busan or found any house to send him away. How could you do that?”
Han Seola looked at Song Yeonhwa with eyes soaked in betrayal. Resentment seeped from her trembling eyes. Song Yeonhwa took a sip of coffee and looked at Han Seola with an unwavering gaze, speaking in a calm voice.
“Seola. I still want to be in-laws with you.”
“Song Yeonhwa, why are you being like this too? In-laws is just a word; this isn’t such an easy matter.”
“Let’s not become another difficulty for the children who have already had it hard. We should be easy so the children can find strength. I don’t want the children to suffer because of us.”
“Why are you trying to make just me the bad mother? Do you think I want to make things difficult for the children? I can’t believe this. How can you do this?”
“…Maybe I’m the worse mother. I easily accepted it under the pretext of doing it for the children.”
Though she became a mother for the first time and enough time had passed for her son to become an adult, it was still difficult. Despite living with the title of ‘mother’ for 26 years, she still didn’t know the true answer to what was best for her child, so she had to wander aimlessly and confusedly.
