Cheon Jaerim kicked the shin of Jueon who’d half-risen. Before Jueon who tumbled forward hit the floor, his hair was grabbed. His nape bent enough to touch his shoulder. Cheon Jaerim held Jueon’s head and moved his steps. The body lying on the floor spun 180 degrees round and round, following like a sled as Cheon Jaerim dragged. The dust of the dirty floor stuck all over his pants without exception. In the entrance, a navy cap used by building managers was rolling around.
Cheon Jaerim seemed poised to open the door, walk down the hallway, and head to the emergency stairwell. Jueon was dragged helplessly. Like an earthworm wriggling when stepped on, he moved, but the movement was very faint. The skin inside the invisible black hair seemed to be completely red. Blue veins rose prominently on Cheon Jaerim’s white back of hand that grabbed a fistful. I quickly stood up and chased Cheon Jaerim who had just disappeared.
I followed while keeping my distance.
The hallway was full of the groaning sounds Jueon made. Cheon Jaerim headed to the space where I’d run away. Through the slightly open door, the stair railing was visible. I wanted to beg him to turn back those footsteps without a shred of hesitation and stop. The scenes of blood bursting were enough so far. However, in Jueon’s face visible at a glance, regret couldn’t be found. The venom was intact. Curiosity arose about how he could harbor such hatred. That curiosity could be resolved through the conversation between the two echoing in the dim emergency stairwell.
“That was everything to me!”
“So?”
“You made it so I could never swim again!”
“So?”
“So?”
“Yeah. So?”
At Jaerim’s words that were annoyingly like a refrain, Jueon’s face turned red and blue. In contrast, Cheon Jaerim was treating the wailing Jueon with an unshaken, lofty appearance. Jueon’s scream-like voice hit the cement walls here and there.
“You wouldn’t know. How much I…!”
“Why should I understand you?”
“Right. You’re this kind of bastard. You should lose something precious too, then you’ll know what kind of feelings I have.”
“Something precious?”
Cheon Jaerim placed his foot on the face of Jueon lying on the stair edge, pressed down firmly and continued speaking.
“I know kids like you well. Whining and wasting time every moment.”
Cheon Jaerim rubbed the blood on his shoe heel on Jueon’s clothes. It was an expression of having stepped on something dirty.
“Every time I came to Korea, I came with both hands full of gifts. You were also one of the kids who received them. Because that was the goodwill I could show you guys.”
“…”
“I felt nostalgia, thinking this is how I would have lived if I’d just grown up in Korea.”
“…”
“If you’d said you didn’t like it, I wouldn’t have met you guys and your friends would have spent time with you. But you always just kept your mouth shut. You didn’t do that.”
“…”
“What do you call this kind of case…”
I could see the expression of him thinking hard about something.
It seemed like he was recalling the words to follow.
“Ah! You bring misfortune upon yourself? Is this right?”
Is it right? Cheon Jaerim turned his head toward me and asked. I thought answering here would be like pouring oil on a burning house. I nodded my head toward Cheon Jaerim who was forcing an answer. Since it didn’t seem wrong anyway. As Cheon Jaerim said, Jueon was no different from digging his own grave. Friends who’d been together for years could have chosen Jueon instead of Cheon Jaerim, with whom they weren’t close. Even if he’d just avoided him like avoiding shit not because it’s scary but because it’s dirty, Jueon’s life might not have been ruined. However, Jueon chose discord.
“You bastard!”
Jueon, who’d been sprawled on the stairs, lunged at Cheon Jaerim. Jueon, beaten to a pulp, struggled just to stand up from the stairs. Unable to lunge accurately, he fell into the spot Cheon Jaerim had dodged. Fallen Jueon rolled toward the emergency exit door where I was. Kheuhk, a humiliating groan burst from Jueon’s mouth. Jueon’s back, covering his face and burying it in the floor, was trembling with shame. It looked dangerous. Anxiety surged that a person cornered might do even worse things.
“…Stop and let’s go.”
“Is your heart relieved?”
“Uh… so let’s stop now and go.”
I looked at Jueon rolling on the dirty floor like trash, then pulled my body back. I grabbed the round metal doorknob. Through the gap of the door that opened with a click, the hallway gradually revealed itself. When Cheon Jaerim looked at Jueon loitering at his feet and took one step sideways, it happened. Jueon’s face flashed up. Madness like a shaman possessed by a ghost appeared. Jueon stretched out his long arm. That hand suddenly entered between my two legs where I was standing.
“I said I’d make you feel the same.”
He grabbed my right ankle without hesitation. Jueon’s hand pushed my ankle sideways with strength as if to break it. There was no way I, who was incompetent at physical work, could overcome the grip strength of someone who’d once prepared to be a swimmer. My ankle bent sideways, and the side of my shoe touched the steep stair edge. Cheon Jaerim’s figure right in front of me moved slowly like slow motion. Along with a feeling of being sucked in, my body tilted sideways. Then I tumbled downward like a ball rolling off a cliff. The feet floating in the air had nowhere to step, and I hit all over—back, legs, sides. Strangely, I didn’t feel pain. I only grasped the reality that I was tumbling in the air like floating in space.
Tumble tumble. As soon as my back touched the floor, my whole body tingled. When I opened my closed eyes, what I saw wasn’t a gray wall but black fabric. Cheon Jaerim’s shoulder. The shoulder pressed against my face felt stiffly hardened. The phone that had rolled and fallen was waiting for me beside. A painful groan was heard from above. I tried to quickly collect my unhealthy body, but like under the bed, I couldn’t move a finger. I wanted to quickly forget all this and go home to sleep. All I could do was blink my eyes. Cheon Jaerim curled his back round and fumbled with his hands. Soon my vision went dark.
***
“Once ligaments are injured, you have to be consistently careful. Because the surrounding area is made up of delicate tissue…”
When I opened my eyes, it’s a hospital. In the consciousness that woke up again, I remember the siren sound getting closer. I remember being carried out on a stretcher. The last scene in my faint consciousness was police cars and ambulances parked haphazardly.
The ankle on the side that collided head-on with the floor was damaged from receiving a strong impact, and other than that, only abrasions were all. Rather, the face that had been slapped looked like the biggest wound. The doctor said it was a ‘miracle’ that no bones were broken. A miracle? I felt strange at the fact that a miracle had happened to me.
I had to receive treatment going back and forth to various places. It was possible because there was a first-time guardian taking care of me beside me. Cheon Jaerim was not visible. From when I opened my eyes at the hospital until I returned to the hospital room with dermatology as the last. The first-time guardian dragged me around saying I had to complete all the tests perfectly even though I was struggling. Exhausted, I flopped down on the bed.
I was closing my eyes for a moment when the sound of the hospital room door opening was heard. Cheon Jaerim, whose face I was seeing after almost a day, had a cast on his arm. He silently entered the hospital room and sat on the sofa. Bones protruded on the nape of his bowed head. Thanks to the day that passed in a rush, I realized I had an empty stomach, having eaten nothing since drinking yesterday. I was just thinking about whether I should go down to the cafeteria and eat even now. Cheon Jaerim opened his mouth.
“It’s fortunate, really.”
If judging the severity of the condition, it was Cheon Jaerim rather than me. Casts were connected to Cheon Jaerim’s arm and shoulder, and his ankle also had a cast. I looked at my ankle once. Solid plaster was overlaid. It was heavy as if the center of gravity would shift only to the ankle. With this, the same wounds increased.
In fact, the ‘miracle’ that happened to me was created by Cheon Jaerim. Cheon Jaerim, who approached at fast speed, hugged me tightly like his core. Even while rolling down, he performed his role as a protector thoroughly. Like a driver’s seat airbag, he absorbed all the shock, leaving deep traces of rolling from head to toe, and there was even a blue bruise near his cheekbone. If it had become like this because of another matter, I was willing to thank Cheon Jaerim who threw his body and saved me. But it was something that wouldn’t have happened if Cheon Jaerim hadn’t existed. In my very tired state, questioning him saying it’s your fault was too arduous a task.
“How long do I have to do it?”
“At least until a month.”
I spoke while looking at Cheon Jaerim’s fat arm, but Cheon Jaerim seemed to think the subject referred to me.
“…”
“Your face…”
Cheon Jaerim looked at my face. His eyes traveled along my forehead, cheeks, and around my mouth. Though wounds remained in spaces covered by clothes, traces of Jueon’s beating were densely positioned on my face. I lowered my eyes. I could see my cheek swollen as if holding a boiled egg in my mouth. If I could block Cheon Jaerim’s gaze looking at me from afar, I wanted to. We sat apart like that for a while, spending time wordlessly.
“See you later.”
Cheon Jaerim said to rest well and left. That back going out limping was bundled with suffering. That’s probably the guilt hiding in the handful of humanity that would also exist in Cheon Jaerim.
And the fruit of that guilt soon approached me as an unexpected opportunity.
