# Chapter 46
“I knew you’d say that…”
Jiwon sighed dejectedly, as if he hadn’t expected anything different.
“…You’re drunk. Let’s get you to bed.”
Taking advantage of the moment, Suhyun tried to tidy up the place.
“I’m not drunk.”
But Jiwon firmly shook his head, performing the repertoire typically seen from drunk people.
“I’m just thinking for a moment… so don’t disturb me.”
Then he stopped Suhyun with outstretched hands, as if training a puppy. Suhyun unconsciously paused and inwardly laughed.
Still, for someone like Jiwon who was relatively well-behaved when drunk, Suhyun could indulge him to some extent, as long as he didn’t ask more difficult questions.
“Ah.”
Whatever thought he had, it seemed to have concluded as Jiwon exclaimed with a sigh and jerked his head up.
“From now on, you won’t do that anymore, right?”
To this question, Suhyun slowly moved his lips.
The answer—that he wouldn’t do it—didn’t come immediately. He thought that once this situation was adequately resolved… perhaps he wouldn’t need to keep Jiwon by his side.
It would be more comfortable for Jiwon to work at the center like before, and it would be better for himself to receive guiding by occasionally visiting the center.
Of course, he couldn’t unconditionally refuse like before…
“I see that’s a no.”
His thoughts must have taken too long. Just before Suhyun decided he should nod, Jiwon murmured with a stiff face.
“I won’t do that.”
Suhyun belatedly gave the answer Jiwon wanted to the seemingly shocked Jiwon. But Jiwon shook his head.
“That’s a lie.”
Do memories from being drunk tend to disappear? That would be nice.
Suhyun swallowed a sigh and moved his lips. Anyway, it was the right timing to placate his drunk guide.
“…What are you doing?”
But because Jiwon suddenly grabbed Suhyun’s arm, Suhyun had to stop what he was about to say.
Jiwon was looking at Suhyun with what seemed like a determined face.
“If a guide does guiding well… an Esper doesn’t abandon the guide, right?”
Thoughts moved slowly. Looking at Suhyun sitting blankly, Jiwon grinned. Whether it was because of his smile or because of the word “abandon” that came from his lips, Suhyun couldn’t take any action.
During that time, Jiwon abruptly moved his body closer. With his arms wrapped around Suhyun’s neck, Jiwon immediately pressed his lips against Suhyun’s.
Soft, hot lips met. Unlike before, Suhyun was clearly in his right mind, but he couldn’t bring himself to avoid Jiwon’s lips. Even though he clearly could have.
“Mmm…”
Jiwon actively sucked on Suhyun’s lips. The sounds of kissing echoed in his ears, stimulating Suhyun. Soon, his Adam’s apple moved greatly.
When Jiwon’s fearless tongue tip parted Suhyun’s lips and entered, Suhyun wrapped his arms around Jiwon’s waist. Suhyun’s tongue, engulfed by an impulse impossible to ignore, invaded Jiwon’s mouth instead.
“Hm…”
Drawn in at once, Jiwon settled onto Suhyun’s lap. As Suhyun sucked on his lips as if to devour them, Jiwon’s body trembled slightly.
The hands that had been wrapped around Jiwon’s waist slipped under his thin shirt that had ridden up, feeling the hot skin.
His mind seemed to have gone somewhere, and no thoughts came to him. He only craved Jiwon, and the primal desire to completely swallow him tried to dominate Suhyun.
“……”
“…Ha.”
But the lightning-like impulse subsided so quickly it was almost disappointing. Jiwon, who had been clinging to him first, seemed to become dull in his response, and then he simply fell asleep with his eyes closed.
Given how drunk he was…
Turning his gaze away from the round crown of the head right in front of him, Suhyun looked at the scattered bottles of alcohol and exhaled a small sigh.
Unfortunately, although his mind understood, the body that had heated up unintentionally wouldn’t easily calm down. Suhyun used Jiwon’s sleep as an excuse to pull him closer. The faint scent of body wash and Jiwon’s unique refreshing fragrance permeated his lungs together.
‘I really hate the sea.’
To Suhyun, Jiwon sometimes seemed just like the sea. Like the sparkling light on water filled with sunlight, and like waves that make you lose your mind while staring blankly.
The endless horizon. The vast sea that appears blue and beautiful on the surface, but whose depths no one knows.
He had thought that Jiwon resembled such a sea—one that makes you afraid because you can’t know whether it’s warm or cold inside.
“…I take that back.”
His thoughts must have been too lengthy. Just before Suhyun decided he should nod, Jiwon murmured with a stiff face.
It couldn’t be a more cruel comparison for Jiwon, who had been left alone facing that sea. Suhyun closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He felt like he would come to hate the sea too.
The words that had flowed out naturally wouldn’t leave his mind. He couldn’t even gauge how frightened the young Jiwon must have been, staring at the pitch-black sea.
So, anger toward Jiwon’s parents, whose faces he didn’t even know, surged within him.
“Ugh…”
It was then that Jiwon groaned in pain and writhed his body. He fumbled, reaching his hands toward Suhyun. Thinking that he had awakened, Suhyun removed the hand that had been pulling him, but Jiwon clung to Suhyun even more.
“Why…”
For a moment, Suhyun thought it might be due to the alcohol and drowsiness.
“Your wavelength, it’s painful…”
As if he were in pain, no, as if he needed to comfort the pained Suhyun, he murmured, pressing his lips against Suhyun’s and patting his back.
For a moment, Suhyun was dazed and couldn’t react. Even during that time, the gentle hand continued to pat his back.
“Ugh…!”
Suhyun’s gaze changed instantly. He roughly pulled Jiwon’s waist and supported his neck with his other hand.
“Hm, mmph…”
As if not giving him even a chance to sleep, a fierce kiss began. Suhyun bit Jiwon’s lips painfully and pulled at his tongue. As if struggling to breathe from the hot tongue thoroughly exploring his mouth, Jiwon kept shifting his body.
“Haa…!”
At that, Suhyun detached his lips, but it was only for a moment. Suhyun took Jiwon’s lips into his mouth again.
With the momentum, Jiwon’s body gradually tilted. Suhyun laid Jiwon on the sofa and frantically licked his lips.
“Ah, mm…”
From the corner of Jiwon’s mouth to his cheeks and the nape of his neck, Suhyun’s reddened lips collided, making kissing sounds. Jiwon kept flinching but never shook his head in refusal.
“Haah…”
Suhyun, who had raised his left hand like a wall beside Jiwon’s face, looked at him. Jiwon returned his gaze with glazed eyes.
***
His eyelids were especially heavy today. Jiwon struggled to open his eyes and saw the familiar ceiling of his room. His slowly blinking eyes were unfocused.
“…Ugh.”
Before his mind could return, what came first was an excessive headache. Jiwon groaned briefly as he pressed his temples.
“How much did I drink…”
Even his murmured voice was a mess. For some reason, there was a stinging pain every time he moved his lips.
Jiwon unconsciously touched his lips and scrunched his face. It was because his lips were covered in wounds.
“What is this…”
Why were his lips injured? Jiwon, puzzled by the situation that wasn’t immediately understandable, suddenly turned pale.
He abruptly sat up, forgetting his hangover.
“…Fuck.”
As the blanket covering him was lifted, he saw his own naked figure. At the same time, the memory of last night that he had momentarily forgotten intensely pierced his mind.
“…Fuck! Fuck, I’m crazy. Insane…!”
Jiwon, half out of his mind, repeated the same curse several times. He couldn’t help it. The memory of him clinging to Suhyun and kissing him had vividly revived.
‘If a guide does guiding well… an Esper doesn’t abandon the guide, right?’
I’m fucked.
The idiotic words from his own mouth rang in his ears. The situation where he had enthusiastically sat on Suhyun’s lap and kissed him thoroughly couldn’t be more vivid.
And on top of that… those firm hands pulling him in.
“Ah… ah…”
Jiwon buried his face in both hands.
Ah… I want to die. The aftermath of such a massive mistake returned fully to Jiwon, who had now sobered up.
“……”
Uncharacteristically looking half ready to cry, he stared at the closed door of his room. Opening that door would mean seeing Suhyun. More precisely… it meant having to face Suhyun.
“Ahh…”
So it seemed like no matter what, he wouldn’t be able to open that door today. Because he didn’t have the courage to see Suhyun’s face.
