# Chapter 45
By the time they returned home, all reporting had been completed. The same went for guiding.
That was because simply holding hands throughout the entire flight had been sufficient for guiding.
Suhyun showered as soon as they arrived home, and although Jiwon hadn’t really done anything, he washed up the same way.
Then they each went to their rooms and got into bed.
“……”
Normally, he should have fallen asleep right away. His nerves had been on edge since before departure, and he must be tired from constantly watching the dungeon after they arrived.
But the more he tried to sleep, the more alert his mind became. Jiwon tossed and turned for a while before finally getting up. He felt like he needed a drink for the first time in a long time.
“…You’re not sleeping?”
Despite carefully opening the door, afraid that his movements might wake Suhyun, Jiwon found him sitting on the sofa.
“Just can’t fall asleep.”
“Hmm, same here, so I came out. We’re in sync.”
Jiwon grinned and headed to the kitchen. Although he didn’t drink often, he had bought some alcohol just in case, and it was in the refrigerator.
“I’m going to have a can of beer…. Would you like one too?”
It was really just a courtesy question, as he didn’t think Suhyun would accept.
“…Sure.”
Well, it wasn’t unpleasant when he nodded. Jiwon smiled as he grabbed two cans of beer and took a seat in front of Suhyun.
“Aren’t you tired?”
Tap, hiss.
The sound of opening the beer can rang cheerfully.
“I’m fine.”
“Hmm, and do you drink much?”
“I manage….”
Jiwon narrowed his eyes. There was a subtle confidence in his answer.
“I see. We won’t run out of alcohol, then?”
Not to brag, but Jiwon himself was strong with alcohol. He had never lost when drinking with someone else. He could empty several boxes of soju and his mind would always remain clear.
He had never even pushed himself to get drunk. It was always the other person who got fired up with competitive spirit, and Jiwon would neatly wrap up the drinking session once his opponent collapsed.
So it was true that Suhyun’s confidence seemed somewhat cute.
“We’ll be fine.”
“Oh?”
“There’s plenty in the storage room.”
“Huh?”
“……”
“The storage room?”
But Jiwon decided to immediately correct his impression. That was after he had checked, almost as if in a trance, the storage room he had never entered while living in this house.
“…Alcohol addiction….”
“I bought it all at once, that’s why.”
“…No, since when have you been stocking up and drinking that much?”
“I wonder….”
There was enough that even Jiwon could confidently say they wouldn’t run out of alcohol.
“I’ve never seen you drink before….”
One wouldn’t stock up enough alcohol to fill a fairly spacious storage room unless they really enjoyed drinking. Yet Jiwon had never seen Suhyun drink.
Did he drink secretly? Was there any need for that?
“It’s been quite a while since I’ve had a drink.”
Come to think of it, Jiwon had never seen empty bottles in the trash either. It seems he really hadn’t been drinking. After all, there was no reason for him to hide the garbage too.
“Hmm, I see.”
Jiwon decided to just go along with it. In any case, they wouldn’t run out of alcohol, so that was fine. Jiwon lightly clinked his beer against Suhyun’s.
“Since we probably won’t have to go to the dungeon tomorrow, shall we drink freely?”
Surely a Riska dungeon wouldn’t appear consecutively.
Drinking with Suhyun was such a fresh experience that Jiwon didn’t want to worry unnecessarily.
“Let’s do that.”
Jiwon grinned at Suhyun’s response.
***
Until then, Jiwon hadn’t anticipated this situation.
He had only thought that they would drink while making small talk, and when they got sleepy, they’d go to bed. What would Suhyun look like when drunk? That was about the extent of his thoughts.
“…Why, are you okay?”
But now Jiwon was hearing something that cracked his pride. Although he knew how trivial drinking competitions were, it was even a bit unfair that while his vision was blurry and he was swaying even while seated, Suhyun was far too sober.
They had drunk the same amount, but only Jiwon was intoxicated. His mood had been going up and down, making quite a scene.
If he tried to hold on any longer, he was bound to make a fool of himself. So it would be better to go to his room now.
But Jiwon ignored the call of the one strand of reason left in him.
“I’m not okay.”
He even lied well, speaking clearly without slurring a single syllable. Jiwon frowned in displeasure.
“Woow, how much, have you been, drinking all this time, what kind of, capacity….”
He should have known from when the storage room was full of alcohol. He had stocked up in advance because drinking moderately wouldn’t even affect him.
“Haha….”
Now he was flabbergasted. He had thought Suhyun was like a child, but he was even better at drinking than himself. Actually, calling him a child was inappropriate to begin with.
Wasn’t he a taller, bigger, stronger Esper than himself? It was more amazing that Jiwon still couldn’t shake off the thought of him as a child while being protected by him.
But….
“When you, just awakened, really… you were, completely, like a pure, innocent child….”
In Jiwon’s mind, images of Suhyun from the past floated around. After awakening, when he was diligently going in and out of the Association. The way he showed a happy face when seeing Jiwon and cautiously entered the center couldn’t have looked more youthful.
Perhaps after dealing with Espers who only sought their own benefit at the center for a long time, Suhyun looked particularly fresh.
Well. Not just fresh. He was the very person who prevented a catastrophe with mental fortitude that no one would dare imitate.
Jiwon had no reason to dislike Suhyun. On days when he was scheduled to visit the center, Jiwon was in a good mood all day. When Suhyun would poke his head in and enter, Jiwon would involuntarily burst into laughter.
“…Hmm.”
That’s why the sense of betrayal was greater when Suhyun turned his back. Even thinking about it now, the abrupt change in attitude with no context had caused great heartache.
The reason he didn’t try harder to appease Suhyun was probably because of that. By responding with the same distorted attitude to Suhyun who said he disliked him, Jiwon had openly shown his hurt feelings, asking Suhyun to acknowledge it.
Well… he didn’t realize it at the time, but thinking about it now, it seemed that way.
“Strange….”
Jiwon, propping up his involuntarily drooping head with his chin, muttered.
“I’ve been, thinking for a while… it’s really strange….”
“…What is?”
Jiwon stared at Suhyun with wide eyes. He was still in pristine condition, but that wasn’t important anymore.
“Why did you, suddenly act that way to me?”
Because he suddenly wanted to blurt out a question that he might have thought about before but had swallowed back.
“I feel like I must have… done something really wrong?”
Because Suhyun wouldn’t push people away without any reason. After observing him all this time, it was certain.
He doesn’t easily reject people. He tends to let even people who cause him discomfort do as they please.
Yet such a person had explicitly expressed dislike and pushed Jiwon away. There must be… a valid reason for that.
“So that must be why…. I must have done something wrong. But… I don’t know the reason.”
Still, their relationship had improved now.
Suhyun no longer ignored him, nor did he frown when looking at him. He didn’t say hurtful things, and was even trying hard to protect Jiwon.
Although he couldn’t see the slightly smiling face like before, this was enough.
Hmm… or so he thought.
“Why? Why did you suddenly act that way?”
But there are times when intoxicated people show remarkable passion for dredging up old emotions. Jiwon hadn’t known this fact until today.
“Was I inadequate…?”
Jiwon slightly frowned between his eyebrows then shook his head. Suhyun didn’t even have a chance to speak.
“But being inadequate, and being disliked are different.”
“……”
“There must be, a separate reason why you suddenly disliked me….”
Jiwon’s shoulders slumped.
“That’s why you said… you wouldn’t receive guiding. But for me, I, from the day I first guided you. From that time, I naturally believed that I would become your exclusive guide, you know?”
“…Is that so.”
“Yes. Because… because… it just felt that way. So I waited, but you didn’t show up at the center because you disliked me.”
“……”
Suhyun pressed his lips firmly shut. He hadn’t known Jiwon thought this way. It was natural. He hadn’t tried to know.
“Won’t you tell me now? Why did you come to dislike me? Hm? If you don’t want to tell me… give me a hint at least.”
His heart was at ease back then.
Suhyun’s lips twisted slightly. The firmly made resolution had already melted and disappeared without a trace long ago.
Now he was convinced that he didn’t dislike Jiwon. From the moment he made the excuse that doing the same thing to someone who wouldn’t fall for it was pointless, his heart was no longer as firm as before.
“…There’s no such thing.”
Suhyun shook his head with difficulty. He didn’t have the confidence to shatter Jiwon’s conviction. He even doubted if he could try in the first place.
