# Chapter 47
Knock, knock.
There was a knocking sound. It had been three hours since Jiwon had been unable to go out and remained cooped up in his room.
“……”
Jiwon flinched but didn’t say anything.
If he didn’t answer, maybe Suhyun would think he was sleeping. He hoped that would be the case.
If only, like other people, his memory had been completely cut off. Such luck hadn’t come his way. Instead, as time passed, his memories only became more vivid.
‘You crazy fool…’
If he could lose his memory by hitting his head, he would have tried it countless times. Since Suhyun would pretend not to know about his behavior last night, it would be perfect if only he could carve out his own memories.
‘…Ugh…’
Arrrgh!
He was really going to lose his mind. Jiwon struggled while suppressing his voice.
Would it have been better if they had stopped at kissing? He could have laughed it off, thinking he was just obsessed with guiding.
Suhyun’s eyes, as he carried Jiwon into this room, were enveloped in tremendous impulse. Thanks to that, Suhyun and Jiwon had kissed for a long time on the bed.
‘Stop, go to sleep.’
‘Umm….’
But unlike himself, who couldn’t escape the impulse, Suhyun eventually came to his senses. He covered Jiwon with a blanket in a calm voice, giving him a chance to end it there.
He should have just gone to sleep obediently then…
‘Ah…, it’s hot…’
Jiwon committed the outrage of kicking off the blanket and even throwing off the clothes he had been wearing.
Knock, knock.
“Guide-nim.”
The knocking sound reached Jiwon’s ears again as he writhed at the embarrassing memory.
I wish he’d just go away.
It seemed better to bite his tongue than to see Suhyun’s face right now. Jiwon squeezed his eyes shut.
“I bought some hangover remedy and simple food. I’ll leave them at the door, so eat when you get up. I’ll… be in my room.”
However, when he heard Suhyun’s voice that seemed to perfectly understand his desire to avoid him, strangely, a more intense wave of shame rushed in.
Instead of answering, Jiwon pulled the blanket over his head.
‘Let’s go outside and die….’
How should he die to be remembered well?
To think a day would come when he’d have such thoughts. Well, it made sense. Considering what he had done after throwing off his clothes, he deserved to die a hundred times over.
‘Ha….’
Suhyun’s sigh, bewildered and at a loss, echoed in his ears.
‘Nngh….’
Along with his own moans that he had let out while out of his mind.
So, Jiwon, who had been sucking on Suhyun’s lips under the pretext of guiding, had become aroused. His lower body had become stiff.
Even after Suhyun had regained his senses and moved away, Jiwon, intoxicated with excitement, simply couldn’t calm down.
So… in front of Suhyun, openly, he pleasured himself.
“Ah, shit…”
No matter how drunk he was and how difficult it was to discern right from wrong, this was too much. It was beyond ridiculous.
The image of Suhyun’s face, tinged with embarrassment as seen through his blurry vision heated with arousal, came to mind. Jiwon banged his head against the innocent mattress.
Suhyun had covered Jiwon with the blanket again and left the room immediately. As if he had seen something he shouldn’t have.
The memory after that was vague. He probably fell asleep while doing it alone.
“Aaah…”
Would Suhyun dismiss this as a mistake and let it pass? How should he face Suhyun from now on? What kind of eyes would Suhyun have for him, who had become aroused and went wild under the pretext of guiding?
If only Suhyun had joined in…
“No, that’s not it.”
Jiwon shook his head in horror. That would have been an even more terrible outcome. If that had happened, Suhyun wouldn’t be speaking to him now like he was.
Jiwon, who had sat up in bed, roughly brushed his hair back. Having immediately taken a shower out of shock as soon as he opened his eyes, then lying back down, his hair was a mess. But that wasn’t important right now.
First… let’s apologize.
Yes, that was the priority. And… it would be good to abstain from alcohol. The trouble caused by his excessive confidence in his alcohol tolerance was too great. Jiwon pressed down on his throbbing head.
After that… they would have to do guiding again…
“……”
They couldn’t skip the guiding they had been doing twice a day without fail. Especially not because of his mistake.
But it was incredibly awkward to bring up guiding again with his own mouth. Well… this was something the person who made the mistake had to bear.
Jiwon took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. While doing so, he checked his wristwatch, which he hadn’t looked at for a long time.
“…Huh?”
Unlike his rational mind that told him he had to bear it, he had been thinking that if the readings were okay, he might be able to rest today using his hangover as an excuse.
“What is this?”
But the moment he checked Suhyun’s wavelength stability, Jiwon couldn’t help but let out a loud voice and stand up.
He forgot his shame and blindly went outside. Due to the loud bang, Suhyun, who had said he would stay in his room, returned from his room with a puzzled face.
“Ah….”
As a result, their eyes met immediately and Jiwon let out a soft sigh. Heat rushed to his face as soon as he saw him.
“Ahem.”
Jiwon hesitated for a moment, but since he was already out, he couldn’t go back to his room, so he cleared his throat and slowly walked forward.
“…Um, did you see the wavelength stability?”
He was a bit concerned whether his voice sounded strange.
“I haven’t checked yet. Is there a problem?”
“Not yet? Look at this quickly.”
Fortunately, it wasn’t for long. There was news he needed to tell Suhyun immediately.
Jiwon approached abruptly and extended his wrist.
“Can you see? It’s 91!”
The first digit had changed again.
A whole 91. The stability had exceeded 90.
“Haha. It’s over 90.”
Jiwon didn’t bother to suppress the laughter that naturally escaped. Hope swelled that at this rate, the stability might reach 100 someday.
“Are you pleased?”
But at Suhyun’s question, Jiwon suddenly came to his senses.
It wasn’t the time to jump out in joy because the stability had risen. Not when he vividly remembered why this had happened.
Still unprepared to properly look at Suhyun’s face, Jiwon awkwardly rolled his eyes as if he had never laughed.
“Umm….”
Soon he bowed his head.
“About yesterday… I’m sorry. I must have been very drunk.”
Even if he was drunk, it was an unacceptable act. Unless it was a dangerous situation. He was no different from a shameless person who used guiding as an excuse to press his lips against Suhyun’s.
If the situation had been reversed, Jiwon would have reported it to the Association first.
That’s why he had been hiding, unable to come out of his room. He was also embarrassed. And now, to rush out because the stability had risen. It would only look like he was asking for forgiveness.
“Haah, really… I’m truly sorry. This won’t happen again.”
Having thought this far, Jiwon apologized again.
It seems like he had apologized to him like this before. Why did he keep making mistakes? Was he acting particularly impulsively in front of him?
“…Is that how you usually act when you’re drunk?”
Suhyun asked casually toward Jiwon, who didn’t know what to do.
By “that way”… did he mean the kissing, getting naked, and pleasuring himself, all together?
“Ah, no, it’s not?!”
Jiwon startled and waved his hands wildly. He felt his face burning and wanted to lower his head, but he couldn’t look away when he needed to explain.
“I’ve never been that drunk before. This might sound laughable to you, but I’m actually good at drinking… so….”
He had always been sober at any drinking gathering. He drank simply because he liked the mild relaxation of his body, not to get drunk. But yesterday…
“I didn’t know I would drink that much.”
He hadn’t known Suhyun could drink so well. While he was gradually losing his reason, Suhyun remained sober, which might have ignited his competitive spirit.
What was the point of winning with alcohol anyway? The result of such foolish bravado was devastating.
“You’ve never been drunk?”
“…No. No one would drink like we did yesterday.”
Unless they wanted to die drowning in alcohol.
“Then it means you’ve never acted out while drunk.”
His lips were tightly pressed. Bringing it up twice, it seemed he found Jiwon’s behavior quite distasteful. Since it was completely understandable, Jiwon had nothing to say even if he had ten mouths.
“Yes…. I’m sorry.”
Of all things, why did he have to display such drunken behavior in front of Suhyun for the first time?
If he had known, he would have quit drinking long ago. At the very least, he wouldn’t have drunk with Suhyun.
“In the future, it would be better if you drank moderately.”
“I’m planning to quit completely.”
“That’s a good idea.”
Jiwon apologized again and observed Suhyun’s reaction.
“You were… very displeased, weren’t you?”
There’s no way he would have enjoyed seeing a grown adult get aroused on his own. It might be better if he was the type to make fun of it, but Suhyun wasn’t that kind of person either. He would just be uncomfortable.
All physical contact is part of guiding. But what Jiwon did yesterday was far from guiding. He simply lusted after Suhyun right in front of him. It would be understandable if Suhyun was not just displeased but angry.
Instead of questioning further why he had behaved that way, Jiwon began to gauge Suhyun’s reaction. He needed to somehow soothe the negative emotions Suhyun must have felt due to yesterday’s incident.
If this incident made Suhyun uncomfortable even with hand-holding… it would interfere with guiding.
…Yes, interference with that would be troublesome. It was definitely a problem.
“…It’s fine.”
Suhyun’s answer came after a long pause. Jiwon was about to let his guard down at the quiet response.
“I just hope the same thing doesn’t happen in the future.”
However, at Suhyun’s following words, Jiwon couldn’t do anything. He should agree and apologize again, but his gaze fell to the floor and his mouth wouldn’t open.
Perhaps it was because he felt too pathetic for his disgraceful behavior, or because facing him any longer was too burdensome.
