“Ah! Get away! Come on!”
“Oh my! What are you boiling bitter herbs for so early in the morning!”
“Aaah—!”
“Ah! Why are you so surprised!”
At the reproachful sounds, Yoonjo barely managed to lift his body after falling on his backside. Right behind him, Grandfather was walking over, clicking his tongue with a “tsk tsk.”
“Grandpa….”
As if preparing to work, Grandfather held a wide-brimmed straw hat and a blue towel in his hands. Seeing that hat, Yoonjo thought of Seonwoo again.
A straw hat with a large ribbon tied around it… That suited him really well…. Seonwoo’s afterimages kept crawling out persistently. The more he tried not to think about it, the more those fantasy-like things embedded themselves deep into his brain, like putting down solid roots. It was maddening.
“Grandpa, you woke up early. You said you were going to the mudflats where Grandma goes today, right? Then I want to go with you too. I’m going to dig up all the cockles today.”
Muttering, Yoonjo picked up a piece of straw and brought it to the mother cow’s mouth. The way she ate it bit by bit looked quite nice.
“Yoonjo-ya. Your mouth will tear.”
Watching Yoonjo yawn, Grandfather, who was picking up a rubber basin, gave him a reproach. Yoonjo replied while offering one more piece of straw to the cow.
“I can’t sleep….”
“What’s with the guy who falls asleep the moment his head touches anything….”
Since it was true, Yoonjo stayed quiet without saying anything else. The mother cow mooed and turned her body. Through that gap, the calf suddenly stuck its head in.
“Grandpa… can your heart pound for no reason?”
“You mean, there’s no reason at all?”
“Not… completely none. Just… suddenly when I see a person….”
“Yoonjo-ya. Come here, stick close to me.”
At the words to come closer, Yoonjo slowly approached Grandfather’s side. Grandfather put a hoe in the rubber basin and asked indifferently.
“Did your heart suddenly start pounding?”
“…Yes.”
“So. Look, Yoonjo-ya. Look at that cow over there and does your heart race?”
Wondering what he meant, Yoonjo looked at the cow in the barn and shook his head. Then Grandfather pointed to himself this time and asked the same thing. Yoonjo denied it again this time too.
“When you look at what makes it pound, you don’t even know why it does that.”
When Yoonjo nodded, Grandfather patted Yoonjo’s shoulder and added.
“If there’s no reason and it pounds, that’s love, that’s what it is. When Grandpa, you know, held Grandma’s hand, my heart pounded. Back in the old days….”
Even though it suddenly shifted to Grandma and Grandpa’s love story, Yoonjo couldn’t even react properly. It was because Grandfather’s words were too shocking. Yoonjo blinked blankly and muttered.
“But it’s not….”
I like girls…. Everyone he’d dated until now had been girls, and he had no doubt that whoever he’d date in the future would be girls too. But the moment he thought of Seonwoo, his heart moved rapidly again. Yoonjo pressed down firmly on his chest area. He still couldn’t believe it.
Yoonjo, who had been listening to Grandfather’s words in one ear and letting them out the other, took out the phone he’d put in his back pocket and sent a text.
「Hyung. I have too much to do today, so I don’t think I can go to the Space Science Center we planned to go to together today. I have to go to the mudflats and dig cockles, and I also have to thresh some dried sesame later. I’m sorry.」 6:38 am
The reply came back immediately.
「Are you very busy? Should I help?」 6:38am
Help with what? It’d be fortunate if he didn’t collapse after helping. Recalling Seonwoo’s weakling-like stamina, Yoonjo shook his head vigorously and sent a text.
「No. Please rest. I’ll contact you next time.」 6:39am
To anyone looking, it was content that seemed to draw a line, but Yoonjo didn’t have enough mental capacity left to think that delicately.
It must be because they’d run into each other too often. When the actor you like smiles brightly, who could withstand it? If you’re a fan, a hundred out of a hundred would surely have their hearts destroyed.
Having finished rationalizing to himself, Yoonjo clenched both fists tightly and thought it must be a misunderstanding. He wiped his hot forehead roughly and nodded. He believed that if he worked hard at anything, thoughts of Seonwoo would soon disappear.
Those thoughts disappeared at 3 PM. Now on the mudflats where the scorching sun poured down, there was only Yoonjo alone. The grandmother who had been digging cockles with Yoonjo on the mudflats also went back when the sun rose high.
Grandma was worried about leaving Yoonjo alone, but she had to turn her steps back at the insistence of the elders who said the young one would do well on his own.
Left alone, Yoonjo worked his hands diligently under the sweltering sun. His face, back, everything was already drenched in sweat.
Yoonjo, who had been wiping his face with a towel, only stood up after filling the large rubber basin to the brim. Phew…. Yoonjo, who skillfully escaped from the mudflats that grabbed at his feet, counted the cockles he’d dug up. The number was quite substantial. It was natural since he’d moved as if he’d dig up the entire mudflat by himself.
Thinking this was enough, Yoonjo, who had taken exactly one step while carrying the rubber basin on his head, suddenly stamped his feet crazily in place. It was because he thought of Seonwoo again. Because of that, several cockles rolled and fell. Yoonjo, who crouched down and gathered up the fallen cockles, let out a deep sigh.
He must be crazy. Otherwise, how could Seonwoo’s face come to mind all day long? To tell the truth, he hadn’t been able to erase him from his head while working the entire time.
Yoonjo roughly rubbed his hot face with the towel. There was no way to gauge whether this was because of the sunlight or because of Seonwoo.
Yoonjo trudged along with the cockles, passed the hill, and returned to the village. Yoonjo, who entered the straight road, could see Seonwoo leaning against the spacious pavilion at the village entrance. No, actually, he’d been visible since before that.
From afar, the moment he saw someone vaguely leaning there, he instinctively recognized it was Seonwoo. Again, he didn’t know the reason. As if someone had labeled the faint figure as “Seonwoo,” he could recognize it at once.
He felt like he could find the man called Ki Seonwoo in one go even among hundreds of people. Only his existence appeared vividly, as if drawn with a sparkling line.
Yoonjo, who carefully set down the rubber basin on the ground, hurriedly approached Seonwoo. Even until then, Seonwoo, who was leaning halfway against the pavilion, didn’t budge.
Yoonjo, who stood at a spot quite far from the platform, looked at Seonwoo vacantly. His slender body and white face kept catching his eye. Yoonjo, who had been pacing around the area as if contemplating, slipped off his shoes and approached his vicinity on tiptoe. Even when he first came here, Seonwoo’s face had been full of fatigue, but not now.
A deep shadow was cast over Seonwoo’s white cheeks as he leaned halfway against the railing with his eyes gently closed. When the breeze blew softly, his untied hair swayed. Since he wasn’t someone who came out this often, Yoonjo had questions, but that was only for a moment.
Yoonjo, who obediently crouched down beside Seonwoo, traced the man’s tightly closed eyelashes with his eyes. Somehow even his eyelashes were long and pretty like a cow’s. The light brown eyes contained within them were naturally imagined. Yoonjo unknowingly reached out his hand and brushed near Seonwoo’s eyes in the air. It was a precarious distance, as if touching yet not touching.
At some point, the soft texture of eyelashes grazed his fingertips. He was startled like someone who had touched electricity and pulled his hand away, but there was no reaction from Seonwoo’s side. It seemed he was sleeping deeply, as his breathing was regular.
When the faint sunlight seeped into his white and neat face, it sparkled beautifully. Yoonjo, still crouching, moved a bit closer to Seonwoo. Several strands of hair were stuck on his smooth skin like messy traces. As he carefully brushed away the hair with his fingers, his lips kept catching Yoonjo’s eye.
The color of his plump lips was red as if someone had sprinkled flower dye on them. Yoonjo swallowed his dry saliva and unknowingly lowered his finger. The fingertips that slowly went down as if licking the skin soon lingered near his lips. Suddenly his lower abdomen tickled.
Then at some point, Yoonjo realized that he couldn’t hear the regular breathing sounds coming from Seonwoo. When he slyly raised his eyes while holding his breath, his gaze met Seonwoo’s. It was a face without a trace of sleepiness. The sound of chirping cicadas completely filled the silence between the two.
If it were the usual Yoonjo, he should have brushed it off with words like “Hyung, even your sleeping appearance is super cool” or “Why are you sleeping on the platform when it’s hot?” Or he should have come earlier and tapped his back to wake Seonwoo.
Only then did Yoonjo realize that his fingertips were still lingering near Seonwoo’s lips as if groping. The timing had already long passed, no different from water under the bridge. What excuse could he make here? It would be strange to say, “You looked so handsome sleeping, so I touched you.” In the first place, the premise of touching itself was strange.
“When did… you wake… up?”
“I wasn’t sleeping. I was just closing my eyes.”
Come to think of it, the sound of tillers rolling by could be heard at the village entrance at all times, so it was also strange for Seonwoo to be sprawled out sleeping without hearing those loud sounds.
Yoonjo hesitated and then lowered his arm while bending his fingers. He should say something, but his lips, which usually opened without any difficulty, didn’t budge as if someone had glued them with adhesive.
“Uh….”
Seeing Yoonjo hesitating, Seonwoo had to make an effort to hold back the laughter that kept trying to burst out. Yoonjo’s cheeks, neck, everything was darkly smudged. He said he was going to the mudflats, and those traces seemed to remain intact. The grimy appearance was quite cute. It was worth deliberately coming out to sit in the pavilion.
