# Chapter 70
The rest of the journey was generally smooth. Once the awkwardness had dissipated, I chatted whenever I felt like it, and Kadilen pleasantly engaged in the conversation. There were no weather-related delays. As we got closer to the temple, accommodations became slightly uncomfortable due to being in a border region, but it wasn’t terrible since it was where the king stayed. One day, Kadilen switched rooms with me. Lying on his bed, I stared at the ceiling, kept awake by various thoughts, but soon felt at ease.
Just as we were about to arrive, there was a suspicious movement. Kadilen, who was riding alongside me, noticed something and passed by me. When he returned after riding ahead for a while, his expression was not good. We stopped our horses and waited. While the soldiers searched the forest, Kadilen and I exchanged worried glances.
“There are footprints.”
“This isn’t a path people normally use, it’s strange.”
They knew the temple area better than anyone else. They had lived there for a long time, after all. Only the minimum number of people necessary for maintenance remained at the temple, and no one traveled there, so it was indeed strange. But both he and I knew how to explain this.
Just then, there was a rustling sound from the bushes. It was a very faint sound, but before I could even turn around, Kadilen blocked my path. He drew his long sword, which was longer than my arm, and assumed a stance. Looking over Kadilen’s shoulder toward the direction of the sound, I tried to find traces of Luan. If it really was Luan, there wasn’t much to worry about. We had already anticipated that he would be watching me and Kadilen.
With a nod from Kadilen, the soldiers slowly narrowed the distance and entered the forest. But perhaps it was just a passing wild animal, as they soon returned with disappointed faces. Even after receiving the report, Kadilen maintained his state of alertness and stayed close to me. It was somewhat amusing—he was the one who should be guarded, yet I was being protected. Still, I didn’t mind recalling how he had instantly lowered his posture and embraced me.
“Master, you’ve arrived.”
“Was your journey without incident?”
Upon arriving at the temple, soldiers lined up to greet Kadilen. I awkwardly nodded to them. Some were familiar faces, but most were faces I didn’t recognize. It was natural since I hadn’t had the leisure to examine the soldiers’ faces closely when I was at the temple. But soon, someone I knew appeared. Someone I hadn’t expected to be here.
“Yunlin…?”
“You two know each other?”
Kadilen turned to me with a puzzled expression at the name that left my lips. Yunlin and I simultaneously wore embarrassed expressions. I thought he would naturally know since Kadilen’s soldiers had chased me when I was hiding in Yunlin’s house, but his face showed genuine ignorance. Not knowing exactly how to explain, I just nodded vaguely. Kadilen looked between the two of us with a curious expression.
“Your complexion is better than before. That’s good.”
Yunlin’s voice trembled slightly. Given that the last time she saw me was in the worst of situations, I must look better to her than before. The fact that we could have such a conversation felt unfamiliar, preventing me from continuing the conversation for long. She made a sound as if about to cry.
“I’m truly sorry. My actions before…”
I was startled and approached her.
“No, I should be the one to apologize.”
By the time I had calmed Yunlin down by practically begging for forgiveness, I had to face Kadilen, whose expression had become even more puzzled. I quickly summarized the situation and followed her. Yunlin, now somewhat calmer, guided me to my room.
“This is…”
“What’s wrong? If you’re uncomfortable, I can change it to another place?”
Her eyes widened. I smiled and waved my hand. Only after I reassured her several times that it was fine did she leave, saying she would prepare a meal. I already knew Yunlin’s cooking skills well, so I naturally looked forward to it. But before that, I had to enter the place before me.
The room where I had stayed before. In this space, neither too big nor too small, were imprinted all the moments I had once experienced. Here, I had opened my eyes for the first time and realized I could meet Kadilen.
When I first realized I had fallen into a novel, it felt absurd. I had been in Seoul just yesterday, but today I was seeing characters with strange names. But I quickly gathered my resolve. It didn’t even take five minutes to decide to save Kadilen. It was rather fortunate that I could act on what I had always thought about. Even the fact that I had little time left felt welcome. After that, all emotions in this place were desperate and frantic.
As I opened the door and entered, my body momentarily staggered. I leaned against the wall and caught my increasingly rapid breath. My hands trembled as I rummaged through my bag to take out the medicine Jiman had prepared for me. It was a stroke of luck that symptoms hadn’t flared up during the horseback ride. Otherwise, it might have taken over a week to reach the temple. As I chewed the medicine, the spinning ceiling gradually slowed down. Although my energy was depleted from the intense journey, I didn’t feel bad.
I looked around the room once more.
It was certainly different from before. Not because the space had changed, but because I had changed.
Even with the same symptoms—headaches and heavy body—I had the will to live. I had people to protect and people who protected me. I had also stopped drawing a line between my world and this one, as if watching a movie. Now I was also a character here. After all, I had become entangled with so many relationships. As my gaze slowly swept around, I spotted the bracelet Jiman often wore. It must be something he forgot in his haste to leave. I picked up the bracelet with a smile. He would be happy if I returned it. I could almost see his pale face with already moist eyes.
* * *
As expected, Yunlin’s food was incredibly delicious. Eating lots of warm food made my body feel comfortably relaxed. The soldiers seemed to feel the same way, as they all had slouched postures. A smile formed on Kadilen’s lips as he sat across from me.
“Does it suit your taste?”
“That goes without saying.”
I didn’t hold back on compliments as I picked out dishes one by one for her, who had asked shyly. Kadilen stared at me as I excitedly went on with my praises. I pushed the plate I had enjoyed the most toward him.
“I don’t know how long it’s been since I had a proper meal.”
“Was your journey difficult?”
Yunlin asked worriedly at my light complaint. I thought for a moment, then rested my chin on my hand and answered.
“Riding on horseback for a long time was a bit tiring, but it wasn’t a strenuous journey. We talked a lot too.”
When I glanced at Kadilen, this time he was staring blankly at the food I had pushed towards him. Does he think there’s poison in the food? Wondering if it didn’t suit his taste, I brought the second most delicious plate to him as well.
“Fortunately, Your Majesty doesn’t look tired either.”
“Ah… that’s right.”
Kadilen’s words trailed off, like someone distracted by something. Curious about what he was thinking, I looked at him, and he suddenly stood up from his seat. Yunlin and I both jumped in surprise.
Kadilen seemed sorry for startling us and slightly bowed his head. Then he quickly left the dining hall. Although it was far from polite behavior, Yunlin turned her gaze away as if she understood. As soon as the master left his seat, the soldiers who had finished their meal all moved outside at once.
“He might be going to the shrine before sunset.”
“The shrine…”
“Ah, you might not know. That’s the reason this place is called a temple. There are people Kadilen honors. To be more precise, it’s closer to commemorating them…”
Yunlin explained gently.
This wasn’t the first time I’d heard about this. It seemed to be referring to the candles I had seen before. Though it was a distant memory, it remained distinctly clear. It was a time when I saw an unfamiliar side of Kadilen, and I could only disappoint him. I remembered the numerous lights filling the cave-like building. And him, making eye contact with each one of them, with a sad expression.
‘They were once my comrades.’
‘In truth, I’m not a good warrior. Because I hid here, afraid of sacrifice.’
‘I don’t want to lose anyone anymore.’
That day, looking at his downcast eyes, I unconsciously offered clumsy comfort. I told him let’s not lose anyone together. After that, many things happened, but that promise still remained with the flickering candles.
“…I’ve been there before.”
“To the shrine?”
“Yes. There were many candles, and His Majesty was…”
As I frowned, trying to choose appropriate words, Yunlin nodded as if she understood. She continued what I was about to say.
“He looked sad, right?”
“That’s right. Do you know something?”
Seeing her familiar reaction, I felt there was something more. Yunlin awkwardly smiled and waved her hands, but she looked suspicious to anyone. I persistently questioned her, emphasizing my close relationship with Kadilen. I had thought it was a place created to honor comrades lost in war, but there was something more specific than that. Yunlin, with a troubled expression, tried to leave her seat, but I firmly held her.
“Please tell me. It’s alright. I am also His Majesty’s person.”
Yunlin hesitated for a moment. I deliberately made a sad face.
“I was very cold back then. When Yunlin splashed water…”
“Ah, alright. I’ll tell you.”
Yunlin urgently stopped me at my playfully thrown words. While she sat down and sighed, I quietly waited for the story to begin. Until then, I hadn’t anticipated hearing such a devastating misfortune.
Yunlin stopped speaking several times. Rather than having trouble remembering, she seemed to be considering how to describe it in a less cruel way. Kadilen’s birth, his first master, the woman his master loved, the brothers who were like family to him, the moment they died due to a momentary mistake. Every story was soaked in blood. During that terrible story, I couldn’t even think of opening my mouth. Every word flew at me like thorns. At the moment when Kadilen, covered in his brothers’ blood, forever lost something within himself, I could painfully feel his collapsed state of mind.
Having finished speaking, Yunlin smiled a sad smile.
“He respected his master, but couldn’t understand his heart. Because that killed everyone. Everyone he loved.”
Only then could I finally understand Kadilen.
