“Jakka-nim?”
“……You’re here.”
At the gentle voice, Gi-hyeon barely managed a smile and spread his arms open. Do-gyeom beamed and burrowed into his embrace. Gi-hyeon pulled Do-gyeom close and buried his face in his neck. The slender neck smelled of warmed milk. In the comfort of Do-gyeom’s scent, the body that had been rigid with tension slowly began to unwind. Feeling the headache that had been squeezing his skull gradually fade, Gi-hyeon breathed in deeply. Once the pain had fully dissolved, he spoke.
“Do-gyeom-ssi.”
At the quiet voice, Do-gyeom lifted his head. Those tender eyes made Gi-hyeon want to lay everything bare. Having impulsively parted his lips, he bit down on them again. Gi-hyeon had wanted to tell Do-gyeom about the contract with Gwok Un. If he could put this pain into words for Do-gyeom, he felt he might be freed from this pressure crushing his chest — but if he did, Do-gyeom would undoubtedly say it was fine, just as he always had, and shoulder all of it. Without ever being able to show the rotting, crumbling state of his own heart. Even now, Do-gyeom still contorted his face with guilt every time he caught sight of the scar the Butler had left. He could not tell someone like that — that he had made a contract with Gwok Un in order to get him out, and that because of it, he could not refuse Gwok Un. His purpose had always been one thing and one thing alone: that Do-gyeom would not be hurt.
Just two more months……
It would all be over in two months. Rather than burdening him now, it would not be too late to tell him once all the time had passed — sitting together in a peaceful living room, saying: it was like that back then. Gi-hyeon swallowed down the words that had risen all the way to the back of his throat and opened his mouth.
“Will you leave with me?”
He knew it was hasty, but he still wanted a definitive answer from Do-gyeom. He clutched Do-gyeom’s hand with urgency.
“When the contract ends, I won’t be able to stay here. I had meant to wait until you were ready to say anything, but as you know, we don’t have much time.”
Just as I’ve always done — I’ll bear everything, so all you need to do is say one word. Just one word, that you’ll come with me, and I can endure it all over again.
“Come with me.”
Gi-hyeon gently tilted Do-gyeom’s face upward. Beyond those tender eyes, fear and love long since passed were rattling around. He softly stroked Do-gyeom’s cheek and whispered.
“If you come with me, I will never leave you alone. No matter what happens, I’ll be by your side.”
“…….”
“Let’s live together, Do-gyeom-ah.”
The hand cupping his cheek was soft and warm, just like the first moment they had met. In that constant warmth, Do-gyeom finally understood what it was he had been wanting. The moment he had longed for so desperately stepped boldly into reach. Do-gyeom, having lost all words as his eyes traced Gi-hyeon’s face, smiled through an expression on the verge of tears. That low, youthful voice trembled finely.
“How could I possibly refuse those words.”
At Do-gyeom’s answer, emotion surged up from somewhere deep. Gi-hyeon and Do-gyeom’s gazes locked together firmly. There was no need to kiss or embrace. No need to open their mouths or pick up a brush to express what they felt. Simply looking at each other like this — they could touch each other’s hearts. Gi-hyeon reined in the welling emotion and stroked Do-gyeom’s cheek.
“My home is a little far from here. If you go along the Han River, there’s my studio about thirty minutes away.”
Do-gyeom nodded vigorously, and Gi-hyeon burst out laughing. He gently swept Do-gyeom’s hair aside.
“Have you ever been to the Han River?”
“No, I’ve never been.”
“Seoul is such a crowded city. Too many people, too many buildings…… Of course the Han River is busy too, but I like it at night when it’s quiet.”
Gi-hyeon had never gone to the river the way others did — with family or a lover. He went when the smell of paint had seeped all the way into his soul. Looking at the light-dappled river made him feel as though he could breathe again. Sending his distrust of his own talent and his anxiety about the future drifting off into those dark waters before heading back to the studio — the walk had been cathartic, but lonely. But now he would no longer be lonely. Because now he would walk that road with Do-gyeom.
“Let’s go together someday.”
“I’d like that. Let’s definitely go together.”
At the quick, pecking kisses, Do-gyeom burst out laughing too. Gi-hyeon had been pressing his lips all over Do-gyeom’s face when he suddenly got to his feet.
“Do-gyeom-ssi, just a moment.”
Gi-hyeon pulled a pencil and paper from the drawer. At Do-gyeom’s puzzled look, he smiled reassuringly. Countless straight lines extending from the pencil formed themselves into shapes. Do-gyeom stared at the multiple rectangles for a moment, then read Gi-hyeon’s intent and his eyes lit up. What Gi-hyeon had drawn was a floor plan.
“The house is smaller than this place, but it’ll be more than enough for two.”
“…….”
“Here’s the living room, here’s the kitchen, here’s the bedroom, and here’s the dressing room. When Do-gyeom-ssi comes, I thought we could just move the bed out to the living room — so we can watch movies together on weekends and laze around. Oh, where should Do-gyeom-ssi’s room be?”
“……My room?”
Do-gyeom’s surprised eyes went wide. Do-gyeom, who had always shared a room communally, seemed unable to believe that he would have a room of his own. Gi-hyeon smiled languidly and pressed the floor plan into Do-gyeom’s hands.
“Choose between here and here.”
Do-gyeom, poring over the paper, looked more serious than he ever had. After wrestling with the floor plan for a long while, he carefully pointed to a spot on the paper.
“Here?”
“Yes……”
“Then this is Do-gyeom-ssi’s room from now on. Let’s go pick out furniture together. We’ll fill it with the bed, bookshelf, desk, and wardrobe Do-gyeom-ssi wants.”
At the tender promise, Do-gyeom broke into a loose, happy smile. Because he wanted to keep seeing that smile on that clear, bright face, Gi-hyeon kept laying out promise after promise.
“When I get a bit more famous, let’s move to a place with a terrace. Since Do-gyeom-ssi loves plants, making a garden would be nice too.”
Gi-hyeon looked like a man incapable of surviving without making promises. Passionately pledging away the future, he seemed to live only for it. Looking at him, Do-gyeom’s eyes too swelled with hope. It was the moment the future tense became real for Do-gyeom as well. Looking back, these were all impractical things to say — yet they could not stop making promises of the future. Because it was the only way to break free from the anxiety bearing down on their shoulders.
“There’s still plenty of time left — think it over slowly.”
Do-gyeom gently reined in the ceaselessly chattering Gi-hyeon. At the calm composure so unlike his own elation, Gi-hyeon stuck out his lip. Feeling deflated, he lay down with his head in Do-gyeom’s lap.
“Time goes by so fast, you know. Now that I think about it, I feel a little cheated. I was the only one going on and on.”
“Not at all. You just seemed a little impatient. We’ll be together from now on all the time, so take your time with everything. Picnics at the Han River, raising a dog, movies on weekends. Right?”
As Do-gyeom recited the promises back to him, the corner of Gi-hyeon’s mouth twitched. He smiled languidly and rubbed his cheek against Do-gyeom’s thigh. Do-gyeom was running his fingers quietly through Gi-hyeon’s hair when something he had forgotten came back to him.
“Oh, right.”
“Mm?”
Do-gyeom reached past Gi-hyeon and slipped his hand under the bed. A pale hand that had been feeling around beneath it suddenly reappeared. Gi-hyeon stared blankly at the wildflowers in Do-gyeom’s hand. Do-gyeom had been looking at Gi-hyeon with sparkling eyes, but at the reaction that was nothing like he had hoped for, his fingers began to fidget. Do-gyeom’s ears slowly turned red. Gi-hyeon snapped back to his senses and grabbed Do-gyeom’s hand.
“Is this a gift — for me?”
“……Is it not good?”
“…….”
Gi-hyeon stared at the white wildflowers in a daze. A gift from Do-gyeom, meant for him — he couldn’t believe it. As Gi-hyeon just kept staring at the flowers with a vacant expression, Do-gyeom began to offer up excuse-like explanations.
“The flowers the Young Master gives would suit Jakka-nim far better, but these are the only kind I’m able to give……”
“…….”
“Still, I brought the most beautifully bloomed ones I could find…… They’re too humble, aren’t they……”
Gi-hyeon gazed at the wildflowers with unfamiliar eyes. The pure white wildflowers were modest, yet in being more beautiful than anything else, they resembled Do-gyeom. Of all the gifts he had ever received in his life, these were the most precious flowers. He carefully stroked a petal, and dew came away on his fingertip. A multitude of emotions gathered in Gi-hyeon’s eyes. He wanted to express what he felt using every beautiful phrase he knew, but his throat was too tight to open his mouth. After his lips moved silently for a long while, he barely managed to part them.
“It’s enough.”
Reading Gi-hyeon’s heart, Do-gyeom smiled brilliantly. At that radiant, boyish smile, a single tear traced its way down Gi-hyeon’s cheek.
Gi-hyeon stared out at the distant horizon. The sea and sky from the yacht were exactly as he had seen them with Do-gyeom, but Gi-hyeon’s face was clouded with worry. A sigh forced its way through his clenched teeth.
“Huu—”
At the repeated sighs, Gwok Un pushed himself upright on the sun lounger. That small face was obscured behind sunglasses, but the irritation came through unfiltered. Gwok Un gripped the sunglasses he had taken off hard enough to crush them. He fixed Gi-hyeon with a cutting glare and twisted his lips.
“You’re going to sink the ground. Anyone watching would think we’d come to a funeral.”
“If it were a funeral, at least I’d be allowed to cry.”
“……”
The cold light that returned to Gwok Un’s eyes — who had barely been keeping his composure — was glacial. Gi-hyeon ignored Gwok Un and turned his head away. He could hear teeth grinding behind him, but he didn’t look back. The Butler, who had come up to the deck and read the dangerous atmosphere, hesitated — and Gwok Un snapped.
“What is it?”
“Ah…… it seems we’ll be arriving in about five minutes.”
“Don’t hover around making a nuisance of yourself.”
Gwok Un furrowed his brow and waved his hand. At the careless dismissal, the Butler’s shoulders drooped. As the Butler shuffled away like an abandoned dog, Gi-hyeon sighed again.
Not long after, the yacht docked. The moment the hull’s movement came to a complete halt, Gwok Un shot to his feet. At the sound of him stomping roughly down the stairs, the dull headache that had settled flared back up. The Butler, who had been standing between the two of them, kept stealing glances back and forth between Gwok Un’s furious retreating figure and Gi-hyeon. At the headache that refused to ease up, Gi-hyeon pressed his fingers to his temple and gave a slight tilt of his head.
“……Follow him.”
