The Butler’s face, which had been dark as someone who had swallowed dirt, brightened. He gave Gi-hyeon a small nod of greeting and hurried after Gwok Un. When the surroundings fell quiet, the pain drilling through his skull gradually subsided. Once the headache had fully disappeared, Gi-hyeon followed after Gwok Un as well. Far down the white sandy beach, Gwok Un and the Butler could be seen.
“Young Master——!”
The Butler chased after Gwok Un, calling out to him desperately. At the comical sight, Gi-hyeon let out a dry laugh and dropped his gaze. He was walking along following Gwok Un and the Butler’s footprints when he suddenly stopped. Half-buried in the fine sand was a pair of oversized sunglasses.
These are……
Gi-hyeon picked up Gwok Un’s sunglasses. Whether he had driven them into the ground or something, white sand was packed in thick between the frame and the lenses. He brushed off the sand roughly and clicked his tongue.
“That temper of his, honestly……”
Gi-hyeon pocketed the sunglasses and started walking again. He had been walking for some time when the scenery that unfolded before him drew a murmur from his lips. The tranquil villa standing at the horizon where the sky and the white sandy beach met was like a painting. Gi-hyeon had been taking in the scenery, forgetting even language, when his gaze landed on a zelkova tree. The lush, dense foliage swayed in the sea breeze. The rustling of the leaves gently soothed his frayed nerves. His weary eyelids slowly fell shut. Behind his closed eyes, Do-gyeom’s face came to him. It would have been so nice to see this scenery together with Do-gyeom. The fact that he couldn’t spend this moment with him was a genuine regret. Gi-hyeon, who had been standing there turning his thoughts over, quickened his pace. When he arrived at the villa, a man who appeared to be the caretaker bowed.
“We’ve been expecting you. I am the Butler in charge of managing the villa.”
“How do you do. I’m Kim Gi-hyeon.”
Unlike the servants at the mansion, the villa’s Butler welcomed Gi-hyeon with warmth. Gwok Un was nowhere to be seen — he had apparently already gone upstairs. The Butler spoke.
“It seems the Young Master is in low spirits.”
“Ah, yes……”
As Gi-hyeon scratched his cheek with an awkward look, the Butler gave a gentle smile. He led Gi-hyeon toward the stairs.
“The first floor consists of the dining room and the hall, and the second floor is made up of guest rooms. You’ll be staying in the room to the right of the staircase. If there’s anything else you need, please don’t hesitate to ask me.”
“Understood. Oh, and also — this.”
Gi-hyeon handed the Butler Gwok Un’s sunglasses.
“Could you pass these on to Gwok Un?”
The Butler, glancing back and forth between Gi-hyeon and the sunglasses, shook his head. He took Gi-hyeon’s hand — sunglasses and all — and wrapped both hands around it.
“He would be glad if you gave them to him yourself.”
The Butler left behind only those cryptic words and departed. Left alone, Gi-hyeon stared quietly at the sunglasses. As he turned the Butler’s words over in his mind, his expression darkened as if he had swallowed something bitter.
Opening the door to the guest room, the first thing to greet him was the sea. The view through the floor-to-ceiling glass was beautiful, but Gi-hyeon felt nothing. He surveyed the room with listless eyes and threw himself onto the bed. The thoroughly dried bed sheets smelled of sunlight. He sank his tired body into the bedding and murmured.
“I wonder what he’s up to.”
He had left without even seeing Do-gyeom’s face — had he eaten? Was he skipping meals again just because Gi-hyeon wasn’t there…… Do-gyeom kept shimmering in his thoughts, as if the whole world were nothing but Do-gyeom.
Gi-hyeon did not catch so much as a single strand of Gwok Un’s hair at the villa. Even when he asked the Butler where Gwok Un was, the man would only offer a kind smile in response. Gi-hyeon finished his dinner alone and returned to his room. Perhaps because the days had grown shorter, the waves were already darkening to black as they rolled. As Gi-hyeon stared quietly at the surface of the sea, scattered with silver dust, his face went pale. He wouldn’t have just dropped him off here and gone back alone, would he.
“Surely not……”
He thought himself oversensitive, but the unease grew quickly in size. In an instant, the cozy villa felt like a place of exile.
Knock knock —
Someone knocked on the guest room door. The door opened before Gi-hyeon had even answered. Through the small gap, a hand holding a wine glass upside down gave a small flick.
“Come up to the rooftop.”
Having said his piece, Gwok Un closed the door. Thank goodness, he hadn’t gone and left him behind. Gi-hyeon pressed a hand to his chest in relief and headed for the door. The hand that had been about to turn the handle without hesitation paused for just a moment. He turned back to the table and picked up the sunglasses.
Coming up to the rooftop, a desolate wind brushed past his brow. It felt like just yesterday that it was the height of summer — and it was autumn already. Gi-hyeon felt the swift passage of time and pulled his cardigan closed. Gwok Un was seated beneath a canopy strung with party lights. As Gi-hyeon came and sat down across from him, Gwok Un poured wine into his glass. Gi-hyeon watched quietly as the glass was filled, then opened his mouth.
“……Someone ought to let the designer know there are people who treat their things like this.”
Gwok Un’s gaze moved to Gi-hyeon. Gi-hyeon took the sunglasses out of his pocket. He had been about to hand them over as-is, when he caught sight of sand he hadn’t managed to brush off yet. He narrowed his eyes and carefully dusted it away. As he received the sunglasses, Gwok Un’s expression loosened.
“Thank you.”
“……”
A smile settled on his full lips. Gwok Un looked at his own belonging — touched by Gi-hyeon’s hands — with unfamiliar eyes, then put the sunglasses away. He curved his long eyes prettily and clinked his glass against Gi-hyeon’s. Gi-hyeon lifted his glass in kind, but he couldn’t smile the way Gwok Un did. Each time the sea breeze gusted, the canopy flapped with a low, heavy sound. Gwok Un, who had been following the trail of the wind with quiet eyes, said softly.
“It’s already autumn.”
“I know.”
His hair, which had maintained a consistent length, now covered the nape of his neck. As the wind died down, Gwok Un turned to look at Gi-hyeon.
“It was really sweltering when we first met.”
Gwok Un smiled with his hair all disheveled. Gi-hyeon looked out silently toward the sea. He steadied himself as he stared at the black surface of the water. He opened his mouth with resolve.
“Do you really have feelings for me?”
“No.”
As Gi-hyeon’s eyes went wide, Gwok Un smiled with a hollow loneliness. Words like a sigh slipped out between his slightly parted lips.
“That’s what you want to hear, isn’t it?”
“……”
“What a shame.”
Gwok Un poured the wine blankly, one glass after another. A faint strain of force entered the hand gripping the bottle. Gi-hyeon, who didn’t see that hand, spoke in an empty voice.
“I don’t know what you want.”
Both Gi-hyeon, held against his will, and Gwok Un, who was holding him, were unhappy. It was plain to see that even the bond that had once been good between them was coming apart, yet even so Gwok Un would not let Gi-hyeon go. Gwok Un let out a hollow laugh and set the bottle down.
“Why do you even ask something like that? When you have no intention of doing anything about it in the first place.”
The smile that had barely been hanging on was washed away by the waves. The desolate wind tangled his rich hair. Through the strands of long hair, a glimpse of Gwok Un’s eyes came through. Sparks were flying in the pale irises.
“What do I want, he asks. Ha……”
“……”
“Could you even give me your heart if I asked for it?”
“……I’m sorry.”
The sight of those lips, drained white, was heartbreaking — but instead of reaching out, Gi-hyeon gripped his own knees. Gwok Un stared at the unshaken Gi-hyeon in silence, then opened his mouth.
“Then your body?”
Gi-hyeon’s expression hardened. Gwok Un laughed savagely and rose from his seat. He crossed over the table and climbed onto Gi-hyeon’s lap. The sound of the sunglasses falling and shattering against something rang out, but Gwok Un didn’t look back. Slender fingers passed over Gi-hyeon’s cheek and came to rest on his lips.
“Did you never think of me, all this time?”
Gwok Un curved his eyes with a sensual look and pressed his thumb between Gi-hyeon’s parted lips.
“I thought of you sometimes.”
As if hinting at past nights together, his long finger pressed down on his tongue slowly. When Gi-hyeon turned his head and pulled away, the corner of Gwok Un’s mouth twitched. Gaunt hands seized Gi-hyeon’s shirt as if to tear it apart.
“Un-ah.”
At the quietly reproving voice, Gwok Un clenched his teeth. He locked Gi-hyeon’s jaw in a firm grip and bowed his head. A thin breath shattered against his ear.
“Stop it……”
A tongue, thin and long as a snake’s, traced the curve of his ear. Gwok Un took Gi-hyeon’s ear between his lips and pushed the sharply pointed tip of his tongue inside. At the unsettling sensation, Gi-hyeon twisted his body and shoved Gwok Un’s shoulders. Gwok Un neutralized his resistance in an instant and set his teeth against the wet ear. Well-honed canines sank into the curve of the ear.
“Gwok Un!”
Gi-hyeon’s eyes creased as he seized Gwok Un’s wrist. When the hand that had been desperately pressing in went limp, Gi-hyeon released his wrist. He carefully lifted Gwok Un’s face. When he brushed aside the hair that had spilled forward, eyes scorched with despair were revealed.
“I’m sorry, truly……”
At the gentle voice, Gwok Un’s eyes reddened as if a capillary had burst. He had thought that by any means necessary, all he had to do was cross the finish line. But Gi-hyeon — no matter how expensive a gift he placed in his arms, no matter how fine a place he brought him to — no longer smiled. Watching Gi-hyeon grow colder the more he tried, Gwok Un felt a deep sense of defeat. Those firmly shut lips seemed to say that there were things one simply could not have. Gwok Un threw off Gi-hyeon’s hand as if seized by a fit. A raised voice shook the rooftop.
“What are you sorry for?!”
“……”
“What exactly are you sorry about? I told you to run if you didn’t want this — I told you to do whatever you wanted! So why do you keep saying you’re sorry!!”
Gwok Un drew in ragged breaths and seized Gi-hyeon’s shoulders. The nails digging into his shoulders trembled like aspen leaves.
“I’m sorry……”
Gwok Un pressed his molars together and drove his nails deeper. He couldn’t end it like this, not before it had even begun. He snarled.
“Absolutely not.”
