Besides, didn’t he ask me earlier if I wanted to do something with him and five other people? I was about to say more in disbelief when I hesitated.
Come to think of it, we were standing in the middle of the mart right now. The conversation wasn’t appropriate for anyone to overhear, and I didn’t want to argue in a public place, so I decided to finish shopping quickly.
I was pulling the cart while quickly picking out things to buy, and Jiwoo was behind me without saying a word after that. He wasn’t walking beside me—he really just followed right on my heels.
I kept glancing back, worried he might suddenly leave because he was in a bad mood, but fortunately he didn’t. After buying kimbap ingredients and some simple soup ingredients, we left the mart.
Because Jiwoo had stuffed in various snacks at the beginning, the bags became heavy. Plus, the snacks were bulky, so I had to carry one bag in each hand—two bags total.
“I’m going to make kimbap, is that okay?”
“Yeah.”
“For the soup, I’ll just make a light bean sprout soup.”
“Yeah.”
“……”
Why is he like this—no words and only short answers? Is he sulking? If he suddenly lost interest in me, I’d be screwed. I should’ve just gone along with it instead of saying those things… Belatedly, my head cooled down and regret set in.
My values or feelings actually had nothing to do with it, but I kept acting emotionally. Even if Jiwoo flustered me, I just needed to keep my wits about me.
I absolutely must not forget that this was a job I’d already received an advance for.
As soon as we arrived home, I organized the plastic bags. Put what needed to go in the fridge in the fridge, took out what I needed right away… Jiwoo sat on the living room floor with a serious expression, furrowing his brow.
“……”
I’m really in trouble. What do I do? How do I fix this atmosphere? I wanted to try talking to him, but I didn’t know what to say. Should I try making the kimbap more delicious? Then maybe his anger would dissipate while eating?
I was just going to put instant rice with pickled radish, eggs, fish cake, and imitation crab, but it didn’t seem like that would do. I rummaged through the refrigerator and freezer and found the spicy stir-fried pork I’d portioned out a few days ago. I took out other ingredients as well and was pondering the recipe for a moment when Jiwoo had somehow come up behind me.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Ah, what to put in the kimbap… Do you like spicy food?”
“I don’t dislike it, but I can’t eat it well.”
Since this pork came out a bit spicy, I should add a slice of cheese when rolling it. I’ll also julienne some cabbage and put it in, and if I grill some green onions separately and add them, it’ll go well together.
Since the pork might be a bit stimulating, I’ll make egg kimbap too by mincing lots of vegetables into an egg roll. This should be easy enough for someone who can’t handle spice to eat.
After quickly organizing my thoughts, I figured this was the time and devoted all my attention to Jiwoo.
“Next time, please bring the grandfather who came today and your grandfather together to the shop. I’ll grill delicious meat for you then too.”
“Grandfather passed away.”
“……”
I said it to gain favor, but I think I stepped on a landmine. I was startled and my lips trembled as I mumbled,
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”
“I didn’t tell you, so of course you didn’t know. It’s okay.”
Ah, I should’ve noticed when he said he came with Grandfather’s friend, not Grandfather. I was blaming myself internally when Jiwoo said,
“So don’t feel burdened about what Grandfather gave you and use it as spending money. To me, he’s like a real grandfather.”
Ah, even though I’m a bastard crazy about money who’d do almost anything for it, five million won is still a bit burdensome, so I was going to try to give it back… In this situation, if I refused again, the atmosphere would get even weirder, so I had no choice but to nod.
“Yes, I will. If I have a chance to see him again next time, I should give him a small gift too.”
It was the first time meeting him today, but still, it pricked my conscience to just swallow five million won—not five thousand won.
“Is giving gifts your hobby?”
“What?”
“It seems like you give gifts here and there. Have you given one to Minjun too?”
Why is he talking about Minjun again? He’s just a good new employee, but I felt sorry that he kept being mentioned in a bad light.
“Not often—I give them to people I’m grateful to. There’s no better way to express your feelings than with a gift. It’s not like I give anything grand, just small things… Ah, what does Grandfather like?”
At my words, Jiwoo thought carefully and said,
“Antiques… or art? Things that are kind of old.”
“Ah… But those are a bit, hard to give as gifts… What else?”
“He also likes classic cars. He collects and restores them.”
We really can’t communicate. If it were someone else, I would’ve suspected they were deliberately trying to mess with me, but Jiwoo probably didn’t have that intention. I was too tired to be dumbfounded at every little thing, so I just laughed.
“Don’t you have anything you’re grateful to me for?”
That’s when Jiwoo asked out of the blue. Could that be him asking me to give him a gift too? I couldn’t tell if he was saying it indirectly or directly.
“There are many things I’m grateful to you for.”
I can’t just wrap one roll of kimbap and pass it off as a gift, can I? Still, he seemed much less angry than at the mart earlier, so I should continue to humor him today.
“Many? What are you so grateful for?”
As if my answer was unexpected, Jiwoo’s eyes widened. Unlike usual when they were sunken and lacked light, his eyes seemed to sparkle.
“You bought me a phone.”
It was true, but it felt a bit insufficient. So I had no choice but to lie again. Of course, since Jiwoo was perceptive, I mixed in some truth as well.
“And after meeting you, um, how should I say this… I think I was able to laugh a bit. I could also breathe easier.”
“Suddenly?”
Jiwoo tilted his head. While we talked, I finished preparing all the ingredients. I nodded and started rolling the kimbap.
“My cousin isn’t in good health. There are various other things too. Especially from the end of last year, bad things kept piling up. So I kept working late every day and living the same way day after day…”
I turned my head to look at Jiwoo, who was hovering beside me. When we left the department store, he’d been pale, but now color had returned to his face, so he seemed okay.
“After meeting you, my monotonous days changed.”
“……”
“It was fun and surprising, and honestly a bit annoying and irritating too, but that’s why it felt like going to an amusement park. Today was the same.”
When I was very young, I went to an amusement park with just my uncle. He said it was my birthday so I was the star that day, and he took only me and played with me all day until sunset. A men’s date, he called it, leaving out my aunt too.
The amusement park was unbelievably crowded, and it was so big that my legs hurt, and I got tired and annoyed waiting in lines. But like a new world, it was full of amazing and fascinating things.
It was a very old memory, but I still vividly remembered that day.
“If I upset you at the mart earlier, I’m sorry. I think I got too excited like a child and misspoke. I’ve also loosened up a bit these past few days meeting you.”
“……”
“I’m sorry for rashly judging you when we’ve only met a few times. Instead, I’ll pour my soul into making this kimbap today and do my absolute best rolling it, so please forgive me with that.”
“……”
For some reason, Jiwoo didn’t answer. He also didn’t say anything strange to fluster me. He was always expressionless normally, so I couldn’t guess what he was thinking, but now that state was even more serious.
I couldn’t tell if my sincere rambling worked or not. That’s when Jiwoo, who had been standing there blankly like wearing a stone mask, opened his mouth.
“I changed my mind.”
“What?”
“How about we just do it between us? Don’t include other people.”
“…What?”
What is he talking about? Do what between us? Don’t tell me he’s talking about the kisses, hugs, sex, and stuff he mentioned at the mart earlier? I had an ominous feeling, but just in case, I asked,
“Do… do what?”
“Whatever.”
“……”
“Anything and everything.”
His expressionless face bloomed like a lie.
