Of course, that was normal… But did something change inside Jiwoo? Whatever direction it was in, I couldn’t deny thinking it seemed to be in a good direction for me.
However, Jiwoo’s way of speaking was still strange as ever, so even though it was a positive phenomenon, I was flustered.
“That… just the two of us?”
“Yeah.”
“Then you won’t do it with other people either?”
At my question, Jiwoo nodded immediately without hesitation.
“Yeah, so now you should only do it with me too. Then there won’t be anything unpleasant for either of us. And no other people’s bodily fluids.”
“……”
Should I bow in gratitude for this or something… Still, it was good progress, so I smiled.
“Yes, well. Let’s do that.”
“You can’t do it with other people behind my back. Can you promise?”
I didn’t have the luxury to meet other people in this situation anyway. I wasn’t flirting with or dating anyone at the moment. I nodded.
“Yes, I’ll promise. I swear.”
“Good. I’ll promise too. I’ll swear too.”
It was somehow a heartwarming atmosphere, but I felt a strange sense of discord. Was it because we were having this conversation when we weren’t anything to each other? Or was it because there wasn’t even the slightest possibility that Jiwoo would love me?
I didn’t know, but I didn’t think deeply about those things anymore and just moved on. Still, it seemed like we’d gotten one step closer than yesterday, so let’s be satisfied with that. No, one step is a bit too much—about 0.5 steps…
After that, we had various useless conversations. Since kimbap rolls quickly once the ingredients are prepared anyway, it didn’t take much time. The soup also didn’t require my effort since the coin broth gave it the deep flavor of 30 years of tradition.
“I’ve never seen kimbap like this before.”
Looking at the neatly presented kimbap, Jiwoo muttered in surprise. Even when I eat at home, I don’t make it this elaborately, but I put in some effort today. There were even two types.
“Tell me if it’s too spicy.”
Jiwoo, who put one piece of kimbap full of thinly spread rice and bright red spicy pork in his mouth, frowned.
“It’s spicy.”
At those words, I squeezed the mayonnaise I’d prepared in advance into a soy sauce dish.
“Dip it in here.”
The soy sauce dish suddenly reminds me of that fish with the white powder. What was that really? I was going to search for it online but forgot.
“Do you make things like this at home every day?”
“When I’m working, I eat out, and when I’m not working, I try to cook at home.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s cheaper.”
If you buy well-timed evening sale items or 1+1 products, you can save a lot on food costs. It’s a bit bothersome, but if you portion things out well when you’re resting, it doesn’t take much time either.
“Don’t you eat at home much?”
Seeing how he worked until dawn, does he usually eat out? Then I suddenly remembered what hyungnim said. That Jiwoo doesn’t eat with other people well.
But he ate meat well with Grandfather today… I had the reasonable suspicion that maybe Jiwoo just didn’t eat with hyungnim.
“I mostly eat at home.”
“What do you mainly eat? Your favorite foods or things like that.”
“I mainly eat raw food.”
“What?”
Mainly raw food? What does this mean? At the unexpected answer, I was flustered for a moment. Raw food… Does he mean something like salad? I asked with a bewildered expression,
“Are you on a diet by any chance?”
“No.”
“But why like that… Ah, is it for health reasons? Or vegetarian… no, you wouldn’t be that.”
He ate meat earlier, and the fried rice and kimbap I made well, so why raw food all of a sudden? Anyway, he had too many peculiar aspects.
“It’s not because of health, it’s just convenient to have as few cooking processes as possible.”
“Cooking processes? Why is that?”
“That way I can process it quickly. I can also reduce various unexpected situations or problems.”
“……”
Even after hearing it, I couldn’t understand what he was talking about at all. It’s just eating one meal—what kind of unexpected situations would arise? At this point, I thought he wasn’t just peculiar but seemed like a seriously eccentric person.
That’s when I suddenly realized something as if struck by lightning.
“By any chance, you kept standing next to me and talking to me earlier too… because you were worried an unexpected situation might arise?”
“Yeah.”
“……”
I thought you were just hovering around because you wanted to talk to me… I felt like I shouldn’t keep asking, but I was so curious I couldn’t stand it.
“What kind of unexpected situations usually happen?”
Jiwoo answered while eating bean sprout soup with a spoon.
“Mm, like something I shouldn’t eat getting in…”
I tilted my head at those words, then asked just in case,
“Don’t tell me you’re worried someone might spit in your food or something?”
“……”
Jiwoo’s expression distorted. He looked the most displeased I’d ever seen. I cleared my throat and mumbled,
“I was just giving an example. Not that I do that.”
I admitted it was something I shouldn’t have said while eating. Because just imagining it was unpleasant and ruined one’s appetite. Then I suddenly became puzzled.
“But if someone acts with that kind of intention, eating it raw would be just as dangerous, wouldn’t it? It would be much better to heat it… hygienically.”
“Right. If someone approached with determined impure intentions, no matter how careful I am or even if I only chew on leaves, it would be useless.”
If someone approached with determined impure intentions.
I flinched without realizing it at those words. Is this why they say a guilty conscience needs no accuser? I suddenly felt uncomfortable and thought I’d go crazy.
“I know that too, but it’s just a habit I developed when I was young.”
When he was young… Was there someone around him who did bad things to his food? Could it be hyungnim…? No, right? Or is it? Seeing how they don’t eat together, it seems like it might be…
“I didn’t know when I was young.”
“……”
“How to deal with it. No one tells you.”
The atmosphere suddenly became solemn. I was flustered and tried to say something positive.
“I would never do bad things to food.”
At my words, Jiwoo raised his head and looked at me. His mysterious hazel eyes were chilly as always.
“Not because I’m a good person, but because you shouldn’t play around with food. So you don’t have to worry about that when eating with me.”
“I’ve never worried about that. You wouldn’t gain anything even if I collapsed.”
“……”
“But why would you bother doing something so annoying? I know that much.”
Shit, fuck. It became even more solemn than before…
But why is he saying things about collapsing or not collapsing? Is something like that happening between hyungnim and Jiwoo right now? You know, like the succession war between chaebol children that comes out in dramas and movies?
No, is it not a chaebol? If it were a chaebol, shouldn’t their names at least come up when you search online? Not a chaebol, but just a not-famous quasi-chaebol?
“That must have been hard for you…”
Having nothing to say, I desperately exerted empathy to comfort him. If my guess is right, am I someone on hyungnim’s side trying to bring Jiwoo down?
Ugh, that’s burdensome… I was anxious from the start since this wasn’t a normal job, and sure enough, there were circumstances like this.
“I was thinking while eating.”
That’s when Jiwoo started meaningfully. I was anxious, but I widened my eyes cutely and tilted my head.
“Yes? Thinking about what?”
“We decided to only have skinship with each other.”
I definitely thought some tremendous statement would come out, but it fizzled.
“Yes, that’s right.”
“Then what are we to each other?”
It was a serious expression. So he does think about things like that. Even for someone who sleeps with people they don’t even like without a care.
More than that, how should I answer? According to my common sense, skinship is naturally only possible in a dating relationship. But in Jiwoo’s common sense, there would be many options.
Of course, I was willing to accommodate anywhere. So I decided to leave the choice to Jiwoo.
“Right, what kind of relationship are we? What do you think?”
At my words, Jiwoo looked at me blankly and then opened his mouth.
“You decide. I’ll accommodate whatever you want.”
“……”
He said exactly what I had been thinking, as if he could see right through me.
