So many things happened suddenly that I couldn’t figure out what to deal with first. Like when I left the shop, I arrived at the large supermarket near my house in a daze, led by Jiwoo’s hand.
“What should we make to eat?”
From what he was saying, it seemed he planned to eat at my house before leaving. I asked, dumbfounded,
“I thought you said we’d eat something delicious?”
“Yeah, you’re good at cooking. That fried rice was really delicious.”
“Isn’t that just me making food for myself to eat?”
Normally when someone says let’s eat something delicious, don’t they go to a restaurant? Or at least they should make it themselves to feed me, right?
“No, we’ll make it together and eat it together.”
“……”
“Do you like grilled fish? Should we have it after a while? This looks good.”
Jiwoo, who spotted the mart’s seafood section, muttered. Why am I so tired? I didn’t even work that much. I sighed and said,
“I don’t grill fish at home.”
“Why?”
“Because it makes smoke and smells. Just follow me for now. Let’s get a cart.”
“Cart?”
I went back toward the mart entrance with Jiwoo and got a cart. Jiwoo stuck close to my side as I pushed the cart and asked,
“So if it’s not Minjun, who else showed interest in you? When you work together, you spend a long time together, so I naturally thought it was Minjun.”
“Why are you so curious about that? Even if it were Minjun, what would you do about meeting him?”
“It’s not that I’d do something, I’m just curious…”
Uncharacteristically hesitant, Jiwoo mumbled in a small voice,
“I’m also scared you might like him more than me.”
His voice was already quiet, and he was talking nonsense too, so I thought I’d misheard. But unfortunately, my ears were normal. I couldn’t say anything because I was at a loss for words, when Jiwoo looked at me with a desperate expression and said,
“If someone says they like you, or asks you on a date… Anyway, if there’s someone like that, can’t you include me too?”
Include you in what? I couldn’t understand at all, but I was afraid to ask. When I didn’t answer at all, Jiwoo spoke again.
“Let’s do it with three people.”
“…Do what?”
I couldn’t help but ask in the end.
“Whether you’re going on a date or having sex, or just doing whatever with that person, include me in it too.”
I expected Jiwoo to say nonsense, but this was bullshit far exceeding my expectations—the first time in my life hearing such garbage.
My vision spun, so I stopped walking and turned my head. Jiwoo, who also stopped and met my gaze, tilted his head to the side with an innocent face.
It was an expression as if asking why I stopped.
“You said you like me.”
“Yeah, I like you.”
“Then normally… isn’t it normal to tell me not to meet other people?”
What kind of bastard is this? It was fortunate that I didn’t actually like Jiwoo but just had to pretend to like him. If I truly fell in love with a guy like this, my future wouldn’t just be a thorny path—it would literally be a hellfire.
“That would be better. But well… you never know with people. If I tell you not to meet other people, you might see them behind my back. So it’s safer to suggest meeting together from the start. Then at least you won’t lie.”
“……”
Listening to it, it seemed somewhat logical in its own way, but nonsense was still nonsense. What on earth does dating mean to Jiwoo? What is love?
I was flabbergasted.
“I see.”
Having nothing to say, I answered briefly and started walking again. Jiwoo looked to the side and randomly tossed ramen, snacks, drinks, and so on into the cart.
“Will you include me?”
“Yes, I will.”
Anyway, whether Jiwoo was a good person or a bad person, no matter what bullshit he spouted, it didn’t matter to me at all. It’s not like I actually liked this weird bastard—I just needed to extract information from him.
“But it’s kind of strange.”
“What is?”
What should I make at home? I was looking at seaweed, thinking about making kimbap, when Jiwoo’s voice suddenly lowered. When I turned my head, his tired-looking eyes had also become chilly.
“Don’t you like me too? Why don’t you tell me not to meet other people?”
It was a voice with little inflection. That’s when I felt it again. That is, that question seemed like a trap. No, a landmine. Anyway, the kind of thing where if you choose the wrong option, it’s game over.
“I never said I liked you.”
I answered as calmly as possible, hiding my flustered state. Then Jiwoo furrowed his brow.
“Then why didn’t you refuse?”
“What?”
“Why didn’t you reject me? I naturally thought you liked me too.”
If it had been when we first met, maybe not, but Jiwoo would have already figured out my personality and behavior. Suddenly giggling and saying I like him or that kind of crap wouldn’t work.
Originally, I was going to go with the same concept as Jiwoo—a promiscuous gay who falls in love quickly—but that got ruined when I punched his jaw. After that, I tried to go for a more obedient and nice feeling, but that also became distant because Jiwoo kept spouting nonsense and I had to counter it.
I sighed and started a desperate lie.
“I just… had some interest.”
“Past tense?”
“After talking…”
“After talking? Why? Am I not good enough?”
He kept rushing me, so I didn’t even have time to think things through. One slip of the tongue would be the end. I avoided his gaze and answered vaguely,
“Not that you’re not good enough… I guess our preferences are slightly misaligned…”
“What preferences?”
Jiwoo’s expression was becoming more menacing.
I didn’t know why, but Jiwoo liked me. It didn’t seem like ordinary passionate love, but anyway, he definitely wanted to be with me.
So I decided to make a bold move. It was a gamble.
“I think our values don’t match. So I’m just going to stop liking you now.”
“……”
“But if we can stay friends, let’s do that.”
Looking at me smiling, Jiwoo said firmly,
“We can’t be friends.”
“Why not?”
“Friends aren’t supposed to hold hands.”
What is this now? I tilted my head with a bewildered face.
“You can just hold hands. Whether friends or whatever…”
“Then what about hugging?”
“What?”
“What about pecks and kisses? What about sex?”
At the questions pouring out like rapid fire, I finally realized. This bastard doesn’t like me—he just wants to sleep with me.
If that was the case, his behavior so far made sense. I thought about it and asked,
“Then what if friends could do those things too? Could we be friends then?”
I thought he’d naturally say yes, but Jiwoo couldn’t answer easily. His expression was full of dissatisfaction. Incomprehensibly so.
“If friends can do that, doesn’t that mean you and Minjun could have skinship too?”
And Jiwoo said something incomprehensible again. I frowned without realizing it.
“Why is Minjun suddenly coming up?”
“He’s your friend too.”
“He’s not a friend, he’s just a coworker I met in society.”
“Anyway, whether it’s Minjun or whatever, it means your other friends besides me can also kiss you and have sex with you and do everything.”
It was a tone like a child throwing a tantrum. So without realizing it, I childishly retorted,
“Then is that not okay?”
“Yeah, it’s not okay.”
“Why?”
When I asked bluntly, Jiwoo’s expression became as cold as frost. He said in a firm and cold tone,
“I don’t like other people’s bodily fluids getting on you.”
“……”
No, fuck… Bo, bodily fluids…? Why the hell is his word choice like that? I was flustered for a moment, but I discovered a bizarre loophole in Jiwoo’s words.
“Earlier you said you wanted to be included no matter what I do with whoever, right? When we do it with three people, it’s okay for bodi… bo, bodily fluids to get on my body, but when you’re not there, it’s not okay? What kind of nonsensical bullshit is this? When I do it, it’s romance, but when others do it, it’s an affair?”
