The next morning. As soon as I confirmed Elion had woken up, I pressed him about what he liked.
But unlike me who was completely excited, Elion was still quiet. No matter what I asked, he just said he didn’t know or showed a very lukewarm reaction.
Our Miros and Raha made such a fuss they were dizzying, but this one is strangely quiet and watches my reactions.
“Want to have some tea?”
I do have tea leaves, teacups, and such things. In truth, these were the type of things I’d bought but didn’t use much. I bought a bunch when told that the act of drinking tea was good for human cultivation, but really regrettably, neither Miros nor Raha liked this.
Miros didn’t know how to drink it at all, and Raha only knew the method but didn’t enjoy it at all. Even I only took it out a few times out of curiosity at best.
Elion quietly just nodded. Though it seemed reluctant, I pretended not to notice and personally boiled water and brewed tea. Then I brought it to Elion.
“Honestly, I don’t really know what this is.”
“Is that so?”
I placed a teacup in Elion’s hand and poured tea.
“Think about it. This is the limb-corpse of things I prove, torn and cut up. Then it’s dried, roasted and parched, then soaked in hot water—at the point where you have to so meticulously defile and consume it, it’s truly peculiar.”
Since it’s already dead remains, it doesn’t matter what you do with it after, but if you ‘enjoy’ this, wouldn’t that be troublesome in its own way? Elion let out an empty laugh with a strange expression.
“But it’s okay for me to drink it?”
“That’s right. This is also a necessary act for your mental survival.”
Humans are very fragile and delicate. No, delicate sounds nice but they’re truly maddeningly sensitive. If things go even slightly wrong, they go crazy and die. Acts for that soft mind are no different from survival. Humans are intelligent beings in their own way, so they need to consistently engage in mental activities too. Survival is difficult with just simple ingestion alone.
“Just because I don’t understand doesn’t mean it’s unnecessary. Even if I don’t know well how this affects mental things, I know it helps. Either way, why would I criticize an act done out of necessity?”
I know Elion didn’t actually find this situation funny enough to laugh. From his standpoint, my complaint appears contradictory, so it was just a reaction that couldn’t help but slip out.
“Oh, there’s none left. I should boil more.”
The tea I’d worked to boil ran out quickly. As I was about to get up from my seat, Elion reached out his hand and said.
“I’ll do it.”
“Do you know how?”
“…Probably.”
“Alright, well. If you want to.”
I don’t know why he’s making such an uncomfortable face, but since he said he wanted to do it, I left him to it. Elion picked up the kettle like that and scurried off to boil tea. When refilling my cup, for some reason he hesitated, but since I just silently watched, he finished filling the cup.
I tilted my head and savored the aroma of the tea Elion carefully brewed. It’s a new smell. It’s definitely different from last time. I don’t know the clear difference, but I could tell which one was different.
For some reason, Elion looked anxious. Why is he like that?
“What do you want from me?”
“How strange.”
I didn’t drink it. This is too hot, and I have no idea what it tastes like anyway. It would be wasteful to put something I won’t even eat in my mouth. Separate from appreciating the thoughtful gesture, I put the teacup back down.
“Humans seem to need answers to every problem to be satisfied. There are so many things that just are.”
If you’re walking and see a cute cat, you can glance at it once. Going further, you might offer it a little snack. If your heart grows, you might even take it in and care for it.
But what compensation do you expect from that? It’s just an act I do because I want to.
“If I must give a reason, your existence made me happy, so that’s enough.”
I wouldn’t expect the cat to do anything, and the cat wouldn’t think to do anything for me either. Occasionally smart ones might catch and bring mice or birds, but really regrettably, that’s something I don’t need. In the case of humans, they might go further and be disgusted.
At any rate, Lamga really hated mice. No, mice weren’t the problem. He was disgusted by blood, flesh and bone, corpses and such. I’d never seen other kids like those things either. Though I can’t say that’s absolute.
And Miros really loved meat. He’d be horrified at raw flesh but ate it well when cooked. To my eyes, that’s also a corpse of something though. What’s the difference from a plant corpse, really.
Elion seemed rather displeased with my words, but I continued speaking without pause.
“You were lucky. You happened to be there, and you were pretty. And it just happened to be when I was in a bad mood, and my child happened to have a heart that felt sorry about it. It’s a very elaborate coincidence.”
“Normally wouldn’t that level be fate rather than luck?”
“It might be, but it wouldn’t be my fate, would it?”
Fate is something only those bound to time get to enjoy. Time is meaningless to me, and if I wanted, I could leave for somewhere else anytime.
Beyond there, or anywhere. Nothing could stop me. Those left behind would be sad, but that’s all.
“You’re strange.”
Elion looked at me silently for quite a while.
“Are you… hiding emotions, or do you really not have such things?”
I tilted my head at those words. It was too sudden a question. But I could tell instinctively. That feeling like this was what he’d actually wanted to keep saying all along.
“What nonsense. If I had no emotions, how would I explain all of this?”
What in the world does he think I am? I’ve already told him everything. I’ve never hidden anything, never deceived. I’ve said and shown everything as it is, yet he keeps doing this.
If I truly had not a shred of emotion and only reason, I wouldn’t have been here in the first place. I wouldn’t have remained as the source of this garden, wouldn’t have proven. Just looking at how I still embrace wicked humans, can’t you tell? Where would there be greater love than mine?
“Just because you can’t understand doesn’t mean you can treat me like that.”
Elion is smart, but really regrettably, that’s only among the humans I’ve seen recently. Compared to the average of humans I’ve seen, he’s quite lacking.
Excluding Miros and Raha since they weren’t even adults to begin with.
No wait, maybe this could also be seen as a transitional growth process. Just because the body is fully grown doesn’t mean the mind’s level follows. They say human body and mind are separate, so maybe growth needs to be done separately too.
I tried to show the most harmless smile possible, but really sadly, Elion’s face turned deathly pale instead.
“…I’m sorry. I think I thought wrongly.”
“No, you don’t need to apologize. If you don’t know, it can happen.”
Still, it’s fortunate. That Elion isn’t a complete fool. He understood well enough with just a tiny bit of coaxing. I thought it was newly admirable, but belatedly realized—oh no.
Elion’s gaze shifted away. He no longer looked at me. He didn’t raise his gaze even after those words. Instead he nodded very slightly. It wasn’t agreement nor acceptance. Just a signal that he wouldn’t ask further. Or perhaps a signal that he’d decided not to ask yet.
Oh dear, I don’t know what it was, but among what I said, I seem to have used some concept too difficult for a human to handle. I made a mistake that makes the tea he personally made feel meaningless. Can’t be helped.
Elion was afraid.
I couldn’t properly hear what he likes, this is really too difficult. Why is he so cautious and sensitive to this extent?
***
The first question Elion threw at me was ‘What are you?’
The exact phrasing might not be accurate, but I remember it was roughly that question. Such a strange inquiry.
Most humans fear me while simultaneously trying to define me with a specific identity. They ask if I’m a god, suspect if I’m a monster, and are wary of a form resembling humans.
However, Elion didn’t ask like that.
Maybe it was coincidence. He said his memory wasn’t intact. He might just not have the mental capacity to think that far.
Elion didn’t speak the next day either, and I didn’t loiter around that area again.
I approached too closely by mistake and drew wariness. I need to make him let his guard down again. Anyway, so finicky. It unintentionally feels like I’m making an effort.
Elion continued his unchanged life. Waking at the same time, walking the same path, dipping his hands in the same water. However, his movements were changing bit by bit. The time he stayed, the direction of his gaze, the speed of moving his hands. Elion felt, accepted, and waited for something.
His gaze often turned toward the center of the nest. I could tell that Elion was grasping the structure of this space.
The length of roots, the time sunlight reached, the movement patterns of dryads. Elion was surveying how this space surrounded him. Like someone calculating from where he was being watched and how far he could escape.
Watching that strange behavior, the dryads whispered. I joined in with a word too.
-If you want to leave, you can just leave. Are you waiting for me to send you out directly?
-Don’t know. Just funny.
-Right? I don’t know why he’s doing such incomprehensible things.
I allowed that calculation.
What is he afraid of? How strange. Elion hasn’t even properly seen my main body. He fainted immediately after glimpsing it briefly, so there wouldn’t have been time to recognize anything.
Unable to endure it in the end, I asked directly.
“What about me was scary?”
Perhaps startled that I spoke to him, Elion’s body trembled as he looked at me.
I’ve never been threatening to Elion, so why is he like this? Is it because of what I said last time? That’s the only thing I can guess at.
“Were you upset because I told you not to treat me carelessly?”
“…No, that was my mistake. Absolutely not.”
Even the one assumption I could make disappeared. Now I really don’t know the reason. It seems Elion finds conversation with me difficult. His head, which had been gradually tilting, was now completely bent looking at the ground.
“How do you see me?”
I’d like to at least know the reason he’s afraid. Haven’t I been patient enough at this point? Elion hesitated and glanced at me furtively. This time too, as expected, he finally opened his mouth only after quite some time passed.
“Beautiful and kind… but eerily creepy and cold to a strange degree.”
“What in the world does that feel like?”
“Even as I say it, I think it doesn’t make sense, that it’s nonsense… but I can’t express it any better than this. It’s bizarre.”
“Do you want to leave?”
“…No, not yet, I… don’t know.”
As if it was truly a difficult thing to say by his own standards, he let out a heavy sigh.
“But even so, you don’t want to leave?”
“…Yes.”
“Normally when you’re scared, you want to run away.”
“I don’t want to run away.”
This time he spoke quite clearly. His voice trembled finely, but resolve was embedded in it.
What does he really want? While I was pondering deeply, one dryad that had been hovering approached stealthily. Then it told me in quite a confident tone.
-Won’t he feel better if we make him pretty?
-…He didn’t seem to like it much though.
I’m naturally pleased, but I know Elion doesn’t enjoy it. But our kids’ thoughts seem a bit different.
-He’s scared of the Progenitor! We’re okay!
-Okay!
Mm. Is that so? Though I want to be contrary, I thought it had some merit. Elion had been quite gentle with the dryads recently. He accepted the things our kids diligently brought well, and I often saw him more comfortable with our kids than with me.
-Try it for now. Be careful. Elion is fragile.
-We know!
-It’s okay! Pretty!
The dryads had such great interest in Elion. I think it’s a strange thing. No, maybe it’s natural.
I think Miros was the prettiest, but regrettably, no one agreed with that. In Raha’s case, everyone said he was pretty but he was so fragile I was afraid his flesh would crumble just from touching. Amidst that, Elion who is sturdy and pretty for a human might have been welcome.
Moreover, Elion is quite gentle and modest as a specimen. He accepted their gifts well too.
“Le-Levia-nim?”
“Mm?”
“Right now this… I mean, this…”
“Dryads?”
“Ah, yes. Why are these dryads swarming like this?”
“Because you’re pretty.”
“Pardon?”
Only Elion stuck in the middle is bewildered. Mm. Can’t he hear what we’re saying? It must be because he’s so weak. I brushed it off as nothing major. Elion is the first specimen who can’t even hear our speech, but humans are originally weak so it could be.
The dryads who at first cautiously approached offering just one flower, a small piece of moss and such gradually increased. Then now they swarmed to Elion as if competing to approach first.
-I’ll dress him up prettily first!
-Hmph. I can do it better though?
Elion seemed flustered and didn’t know what to do, but I found it quite amusing. So he makes such a stupid face too. When he always just made a blank expression whenever he saw me.
It was fun, and partly out of spite, I left it alone. I treated him so well yet he only plays with our kids. Really a bad cat.
But that enjoyment didn’t last long either. Elion soon regained his composure and became docile again. He tried to avoid it at first, but as the act continued, he gradually showed an accepting attitude.
Just then, while the dryads were quarreling they swung an arm widely, and Elion happened to get hit!
-Oh my! Stop it!
Thump—, Elion flew away too absurdly, bounced almost as if flying and fell to the ground. Unable to even stop, he rolled over and over. Startled by that sight, the dryads didn’t know what to do and hurriedly backed away.
-What do we do! The human died!
-He flew whoosh! He’s dead!
-He’s not dead yet!
Horrified, I approached Elion while speaking in a shrill voice. Elion made groaning sounds while clutching his shoulder. Between the torn wrapping, I could see torn flesh and blood gushing out profusely.
-Are you okay? Do you think you’ll die?
“…I don’t know what you’re saying.”
“Oh right, sorry. Are you okay? Are you dying?”
“…I’m dying.”
“Oh my! What do we do! The child is dying!”
I mistakenly thought it would be okay since he’s a sturdy specimen! I should never have forgotten that he’s human after all! I quickly reached out my hand to fix him, but Elion roughly struck my hand away.
“Why, why are you approaching?”
“To fix you.”
“Why…”
Elion’s eyes, that expression looked wronged. This was quite an unfamiliar expression. Elion had been docile until now, silently accepting. This time was different somehow.
“Why, only now, are you approaching?”
Elion held his shoulder gushing with blood with trembling hands. Oh my goodness, good grief. It was a sudden realization.
I thought I’d been giving Elion space and approaching in my own way until now, but this hateful thing seems to have thought I wasn’t approaching him. No, maybe he’s just upset about being hurt. Maybe he resents that this happened because I didn’t stop it.
Either way was troublesome. I was just as wronged.
“You’re the one who kept running away. Because you’re afraid of me.”
At my words, the corners of Elion’s eyes trembled. I reached out my hand to Elion again, and this time he didn’t avoid with his body.
“It’s okay. I’ll fix you right away.”
I tried not to use power if possible, but this really can’t be helped. Behind me, the dryads were just stamping their feet saying they were sorry, they did wrong.
I used just a tiny bit of power to restore Elion. It wasn’t complete. If I suddenly use too much power, the body might not be able to endure it in its own way.
The torn flesh reattached, and the blood dried and fell off. Before long, aside from the wrapping being torn, no trace remained.
“You might ache or have difficulty moving for a while.”
“…You really aren’t human after all.”
“You really say strange things.”
A joke in the midst of this, really an interesting human. I patted such an Elion and said.
“It’s okay. Our Miros fell down often when he was a baby too. But you didn’t cry. That alone is admirable enough.”
At my words, Elion very briefly, subtly lowered his eyes. What is he thinking?
“Still, don’t worry. I’ll nurse you.”
“Nursing is too much…”
“It’ll be hard to move since I just attached it. Our Miros had his legs broken quite often too. He fell a lot while climbing trees. Raha also had his back give out once while lifting heavy things because he wanted to become strong.”
I think it was a fairly kind explanation on my part, but Elion’s expression changed into something indescribable.
The accident is regrettable, but I also think there are good points. Because I became certain that this hateful cat-like Elion will no longer fear me.
That feeling that something might finally be starting. That was quite a welcome change.
