“Wow, how reassuring~.”
“Geez, I’m serious.”
“Okay, I got it.”
I plopped my head against his shoulder. Won Dogyeong’s body flinched and tensed, then slowly relaxed.
He’s not some chaebol from a drama, telling me to quit work because he’ll support me. It made me laugh a little.
Won Dogyeong seems to think I love my work, but that’s not really true. I’m just doing it because I have to. Naturally, when my body’s in bad condition like this, I don’t want to go to work either.
If I said I’d quit the company, Won Dogyeong would probably really support me. Looking at what he’s been doing lately, it was certain.
Living off someone else’s money is nice. It is nice, but we’re not married, and in a situation where I still can’t clearly return any feelings yet, I didn’t want to live spending Won Dogyeong’s money just because I was having a baby. No matter how well Won Dogyeong earns and how rich he is.
But separate from having no such intention, having a really rich person say he’d take responsibility was an enormous comfort to someone who had to go to work.
It’s a contradictory feeling. I don’t even understand myself.
“If it’s really hard, I’ll throw it all away and live spending your money lavishly.”
“As much as you want.”
“I’ll really spend it lavishly though.”
“I have lots of money.”
“How annoying.”
“It’s all yours.”
“Think about it.”
Won Dogyeong wiggled my palm over and massaged it, pressing firmly. It feels good.
“Still, you have to eat breakfast. I’ll make you porridge. And fruit. Okay?”
“Okay.”
I really, really didn’t want to eat, but I nodded thinking of Yongyong.
Won Dogyeong, who’d jumped up from his seat, soon returned to the living room carrying a heap of white porridge, apples, oranges, and kiwis. I slid my body down from the sofa and sat on the floor.
Fortunately, the porridge drizzled with soy sauce and the fruit didn’t make me retch, so I picked at them bit by bit. The queasiness continued and I really couldn’t eat much, so after nibbling to some extent, I put it down.
I was changing clothes and picking up my bag when Won Dogyeong, who’d gone into his room, came out wearing a hat and mask.
“I’ll take you.”
Normally I would have said it’s fine, but today even I thought I didn’t have the confidence to take the subway, so I obediently said thank you. If the gomtang smell was this hard, if I smelled all kinds of smells on the hell train during rush hour, I might really collapse right there.
I sat in the passenger seat and closed my eyes. Looking ahead seemed like it would make me more nauseous. Won Dogyeong started the engine and turned on the AC lightly. When the inside of the car became cool, it seemed a bit better.
The weather was getting warmer. I’m terrible with summer. Thinking about enduring early summer along with morning sickness was already horrible.
It’s hot and sweat is pouring down but my stomach is also churning? Ugh. What kind of extreme experience is that…
Yongyong, can’t we skip the morning sickness phase?
I tapped my belly with my fingers attempting to negotiate. Though I’m not sure if morning sickness is within Yongyong’s authority.
Think about it carefully, you have to grow well and come out too, don’t you?
As I exhaled deeply and pushed away the terrible sensation rippling through my throat, I sneakily opened my eyes and we were already near the company. Traffic jams are a problem during commute hours, but cars are nice.
Especially when someone else drives. The best.
“If it’s hard, definitely use a half-day.”
“Mm.”
“I’ll come pick you up, so call me.”
“You don’t have work today?”
Won Dogyeong glanced at me and answered calmly.
“I canceled everything except what I absolutely have to do. For the time being… should I say, until Yongyong grows a bit, I’ll do the minimum.”
“You’re basically taking a break?”
“You’re going to work even with that body, so at least I have to take care of you. And when they’re little, it’s really hard even with two people watching. At minimum I’ll be stuck at home until the first birthday.”
I see. I thought he was home too much.
I thought carefully back on the days after announcing the pregnancy and nodded.
“Okay, then. Do that.”
“What, I thought I’d get scolded.”
“I like that you’re there when I go home after work.”
Maybe because I’d never lived alone, I preferred having someone at home. When Won Dogyeong was too busy to come home and I came home from work to step into the pitch-dark empty house, I felt hollow.
He opened his eyes wide and looked at me. It happened to be a red light, so I didn’t even have the presence of mind to tell him to look ahead. My face heated up for no reason and I acted gruffly saying “What, why.”
“…Should I retire and become a full-time househusband?”
“What are you saying.”
“You said you like me being at home.”
“No way, you have to support me and Yongyong.”
“That’s true.”
Won Dogyeong burst into hearty laughter, but his face propping one arm on the window sill while turning the wheel looked quite pleased. I quietly watched that smiling profile, then turned my gaze to the car window.
While keeping silent in a subtly soft atmosphere, the car quickly arrived at the company’s front gate. I grabbed my backpack and opened the car door, trying to appear not awkward.
“I’m going.”
“I’ll come pick you up in the evening.”
You’re coming in the evening too?
I can go by myself. Taking the subway… ugh.
When I recalled the population density and stuffy air of the subway during rush hour, I couldn’t bring myself to say he didn’t need to come.
“…Okay. See you later.”
I waved lightly and closed the door.
Let’s work, work.
I sat down pretending to be calm, but after that my stomach felt bad and it was difficult to concentrate as much as usual. When I dissolved and ate mint-flavored candy it seemed a bit better, so I had it in my mouth all day.
Naturally, I couldn’t eat lunch. When team members asked why I wasn’t eating, I said something about having no appetite and bought an apple from the convenience store, barely managing to eat about half of a half.
At that timing I fiercely debated using a half-day, but if I had to endure it for a couple months anyway, going home today wouldn’t make tomorrow any different, so I gave up.
The afternoon dragged slowly. Even more so because it was a quiet period with the big project wrapped up.
Won Dogyeong occasionally sent texts checking my condition. When he asked if there was anything I wanted to eat, I replied that I was sorry but I wanted to spit out even the apple in my stomach. He said he’d try making various things and went grocery shopping. I don’t know what he bought, but when I go home today it’ll all be laid out on the dining table.
Imagining Won Dogyeong with a serious expression stirring about three pots at once by himself made me keep laughing.
Shaking a frying pan with his left hand and gripping a spatula in his right… Is he the king of cooking or what. He hates stuff splattering on the gas range, so he’d obviously nervously pull out kitchen towels in between to wipe here and there.
Having such silly thoughts, it was time to get off work. I sent a reply to Won Dogyeong saying I was going down now and quickly grabbed my bag, getting on the elevator faster than anyone.
I wanted to hurry home, wash up, and lie on the sofa. My body drooped from suffering morning sickness all day, and I didn’t want to stand anymore.
But unfortunately, someone got on holding a sandwich with tuna in it, and smelling that scent continuously in the confined space made my stomach feel bad. It’s the same queasiness that reminds me of this morning’s gomtang incident.
I haven’t eaten anything anyway so nothing would come out, but still not here. My future company life and human dignity were at stake.
If I dry heaved and spat something out, I might have to quit from shame and really live spending Won Dogyeong’s money.
Please, Yongyong, help me!
With my head down, I covered my mouth and nose and desperately held back the dry heaving.
People rushed out of the elevator, and I, stuck in the back, got off almost last. Leaning against the lobby wall where there were no people and letting out a big breath, I finally felt like I could live.
While glaring at the pattern on the floor, I added tuna sandwich to the list of things I can’t eat and took deep breaths, trying to calm my flipped stomach.
Then someone tapped my shoulder and spoke to me.
“Deputy Manager Yeo? Are you okay?”
I lifted my head. A man with neatly slicked-back hair, a navy suit, and a tidy face like an announcer stood there.
“Ah, Deputy Manager Han. I’m fine. Just, my stomach’s a bit bad.”
It was Deputy Manager Han Youngjae, a colleague from the same hiring class I’d met after a long time. Our relationship was ambiguous if you’d call it that. Borrowing the expression of the fussy Haemin, he seemed to be interested in me.
Deputy Manager Han pulled a water bottle from his bag with a worried face and handed it to me. I hesitated a bit but didn’t decline, accepting it and swallowing the water. It seemed a bit better. I should carry something to drink around.
“You’ve seemed busy lately, aren’t you pushing yourself too hard?”
A corner of my heart was pricked. Actually the busy part is over and this is for a different reason.
Deputy Manager Han and I weren’t anything to each other, and there’s no particular reason for me to feel sorry, but somehow I felt awkward facing him. It’s probably because I’d been accepting the affection he had for me somewhat favorably all this time.
Han Youngjae was objectively a decent alpha. With a neat, handsome face, and being the type to take good care of people, he had a good image within the company.
When such a person was interested in me, it was hard to be indifferent.
I did think, why would someone like that be interested in me?
Maybe because he had a cautious personality, he just ambiguously hovered around without trying to cross the line, and that part was also a plus for me. The degree of gauging the affection hovering within formulaic kindness was just right.
