If he’d approached aggressively, I might have avoided him.
I was uncomfortable with people who threw their passionate affection at me. I also disliked attempts to cross boundaries without permission.
Even when dating, I preferred to maintain a certain distance. I didn’t really understand the point of expending energy on emotional fights, and I didn’t want to either. I hated relationships where I had to report my every move just because we were together.
Ah, is this why Won Dogyeong couldn’t say anything all that time?
A sudden unexpected realization came to me.
Those eyes full of sadness from the day we sat at the table talking flashed through my mind.
Right. If I’d received a confession without any warning signs, I would have left that house. And we were far too close to build up any warning signs.
I was dull in some ways, and annoyingly sensitive in strange areas.
Handling multiple things at once wasn’t particularly my specialty either. So sometimes I was unilateral, and except for urgent matters, I was prone to neglect.
It might have taken a very long time to reconsider Won Dogyeong. Even if I came to the conclusion to be together, I might not have faced him until I’d clearly finished thinking it through.
The reason he didn’t show even the slightest hint until things got to this point was perhaps because he knew me too well.
Just because years pass doesn’t necessarily mean you get to know someone well. Won Dogyeong knew me well because he’d been watching me from beside me with affection.
With that affection I hadn’t even noticed.
My mood sank a little. What should I have done?
“…Are you okay?”
Ah, Deputy Manager Han. We’re still at the company.
Like suddenly popping out into reality from some cave, the surrounding sounds became clear with a buzz.
“I’m okay now. Thank you.”
I smiled awkwardly and returned the water bottle to him. Even after receiving the bottle, he still looked at me with a worried expression.
“Take it easy. You’ll ruin your body at this rate.”
“I am lately. The big stuff’s all passed too.”
“Actually, I saw you eating an apple alone at lunch.”
“Ah, haha… I wasn’t very hungry.”
“That won’t do, you need to take care of yourself. Next time let’s—”
“Yeo Jeongwon.”
Cutting off Deputy Manager Han’s words, someone called my name and suddenly grabbed my wrist. Startled, I lifted my head to see Won Dogyeong in front of me in casual clothes with a hat and mask pressed down. He stood out, maybe because his outfit was out of place for the company lobby and because he was tall.
On top of that, even though his face wasn’t visible at all, his tone was stiff enough to tell at a glance that he was displeased.
Oops, come to think of it, he said he’d wait with the car parked out front, but I seem to have lingered in the lobby longer than expected.
Won Dogyeong kept sneakily pushing me back, so I stuck my face out to the side and bowed to Deputy Manager Han.
“I’ll be going first, thank you for the water earlier.”
“…Yes. Get home safely.”
Deputy Manager Han glanced back and forth between Won Dogyeong and me inconspicuously, who clearly didn’t look ordinary, seeming to gauge what our relationship was. That was brief, and soon he bowed and moved away.
Won Dogyeong turned around and scanned my face thoroughly, frowning.
“Did something happen? You weren’t coming out.”
“Ah, I felt a bit sick in the elevator. I came out and was resting for a bit when I ran into Deputy Manager Han. Sorry, did you wait long?”
“…No, it’s fine. Let’s go.”
He stood me beside him and released the hand he’d been holding, then walked silently. I sneakily read his mood, but Won Dogyeong just kept walking silently.
“Wait here for a moment, I’ll get the car.”
After sitting me on a bench in the open area in front of the company, he trudged off somewhere. He probably waited out front, and when I didn’t come out, parked the car somewhere in a corner and came in.
I feel bad for no reason.
……Is he bothered by Deputy Manager Han?
For now, I was bothered by the two of them meeting.
If you ask why, I don’t know. He looked displeased, and even though I definitely hadn’t done anything wrong, I kept feeling like I’d done something wrong.
I didn’t do anything wrong though.
…Right? Yeah.
Honk!
At the familiar horn sound, I lifted my head to see Won Dogyeong waiting with the car parked on the main road ahead. When I grabbed my bag and got in the passenger seat, he waited for me to fasten my seatbelt then immediately departed.
In the silent car, I just fidgeted with my seatbelt before cautiously opening my mouth.
“Sorry for making you wait.”
“It’s fine. I just got here.”
Even saying that, his eyes stubbornly faced forward. His face gazing silently beyond the car window with his mouth shut had sunk. With his originally sharp impression and strength entering his brow, the atmosphere he gave off was quite fierce.
He seemed lost in thought, tapping the steering wheel with his fingers.
I could tell it wasn’t a positive sign.
I would have explained if he’d just asked about Deputy Manager Han or interrogated me about what our relationship was, but he just quietly kept his hand on the wheel. I kept sneakily reading his mood, but he didn’t seem to have any intention of opening his mouth.
I’m too bothered by this.
“That person earlier…”
In the end, I opened the floodgates. I started rambling excuses that weren’t really excuses.
“He’s a deputy manager from another team, and he helped me because I looked unwell.”
“……”
“There was a food smell in the elevator… I just borrowed a sip of water, that’s all.”
“Who said anything.”
Won Dogyeong glanced at me then turned his head back. I muttered awkwardly.
“Just saying.”
Anyone can see something’s bothering him, but it’s frustrating because he won’t say anything.
It would look strange for me to bring it up any further first.
What would I say—that we’re close? That we might have gotten closer in a different direction but in the end we’re nothing to each other so don’t worry? Or why are you making me worry by not saying anything?
That would just be picking a fight.
I wracked my brain and agonized, but no matter how much I thought about it, it seemed best to just keep my mouth shut. If he’s curious, he’ll ask someday or not.
I sighed quietly inside and was just fidgeting with the innocent seatbelt again.
“I didn’t want to say it because I’d really look petty.”
Startled, I whipped my head toward the driver’s seat, then hurriedly turned my gaze back to the window, stammering.
“No, well, I’m fine with it…”
Won Dogyeong twisted his lips as if something displeased him.
“He likes you.”
When I sneakily glanced over with creaking movements, his sulky face had his lips jutting out. Dissatisfaction hung in clusters on his cheeks that bulged out in a sulk.
Flustered, I started spewing excuses that weren’t really excuses.
“It’s not that he likes me, just, he has a bit of… interest? Human interest? Something like that…”
I stammered out words trying to package it as gently as possible somehow.
It probably wasn’t feelings as strong as liking or not, right?
Trait-bearers naturally develop a sense of kinship, and the special quality of being able to detect pheromones made it easy to become close.
In a way it was close to instinct. Under the premise that all other conditions are similar, it was as natural as having a higher probability of getting along with someone who speaks the same language and grew up in the same culture. Especially since pheromones also contain sexual meaning.
So he was just a bit curious, right? There aren’t many trait-bearers at the company and even fewer people close in age.
It’s possible to be curious, yeah. Even I want to greet people when I hear they’re omega or alpha trait-bearers.
I brainwashed myself like that, deliberately ignoring the voice of a shred of conscience crying that it made no sense. It was going pretty well.
Then at a signal light, Won Dogyeong turned his head this way and our eyes met perfectly. His hollow eyes seemed to shout not to play tricks.
No…? It makes sense though? It does…? Really?
…Or not?
……It’s not true, is it. He did seem… interested. By anyone’s standards, in that way.
The barrier of self-rationalization I’d been diligently building up instantly came crashing down. I finally sighed and admitted it.
“Yeah, I think so…… How did you know?”
“Heh, you think I’ve only seen one or two of those bas—guys like that?”
“……Was I that popular?”
Won Dogyeong looked at me with an expression of disbelief and stepped on the gas.
What, why.
“Do you like him too?”
While glaring ahead with strength in his brow, he asked again in a voice full of spite.
For a moment I was so dumbfounded my eyebrows reflexively twitched up. If I liked Deputy Manager Han, would we be doing this?
“No. If I did, I wouldn’t be doing this with you.”
“You talk well.”
Won Dogyeong, who snorted, had his lips twitching unlike his blunt attitude. Unlike how he looked like he still had the desire to smirk, his facial muscles had loosened and his lips rose ambiguously.
…What?
He knew it wasn’t true but wanted confirmation. If he’d really thought so, he couldn’t have accepted it this quickly.
Simple guy.
Then just say so, what’s with being all prickly like this…?
Can I… live with this guy?
Even as doubt crept in, seeing his eyes opened gently with a satisfied look made me let out a hollow laugh.
Where did the person who’d been silently emanating an uncomfortable atmosphere go, and an elementary schooler with just a big body was sitting there. With such kind eyes that he’d probably smile and let them in even if a car from the next lane cut in unreasonably right now.
