[I don’t think I’ll be late. Joo-an sunbae doesn’t drink either and I think everyone will just eat and part ways]
[Jeonghan: Okay. If you’re late, contact me. I’ll come pick you up]
Being picked up was something to be grateful for, but I wasn’t comfortable with Cha Jeonghan driving to come get me late at night. Still, it wouldn’t happen if I wasn’t late, and if I said no, he’d probably worry, so I just answered that I understood. After his last message saying the director had arrived, I put my phone back down. Then I looked out the window that was barely moving.
Leaving excessively early was truly the best decision. It took an hour and a half to arrive at a distance that should take 40 minutes by bus. I arrived exactly at 7 o’clock when we’d planned to meet, and when I went inside, one classmate who’d arrived first saw me and waved. I’d seen him a few times after graduation, but this was the first time this year, so I was very glad.
I exchanged happy greetings with my classmate and was having various ordinary everyday conversations when Choi Joo-an sunbae and other classmates and seniors came in one by one. It was really the first time in a long while that eight people I knew from university had gathered like this, so just exchanging greetings with each other took a long time.
“Yuhyeon-ah, Cha Jeonghan is doing well, right? He must be incredibly busy. I knew he was popular for being handsome, but who knew he’d become that famous?”
“He’s doing well. He’s busy too. There’s so much work.”
“You two really stick together for a long time. Weren’t you married in a past life? That’s why you stick together like that. You’ve been friends since high school, right?”
“Yeah. We were in the same class in first year of high school so I met him then.”
“Wow, then how many years is that?”
My classmate Jang Eunseong, who was counting seventeen, eighteen years on his fingers, made a surprised sound as he counted the last number. Everyone seemed surprised at the mention of 13 years and made a fuss, then started talking about their own long-time friends. Still, there were no words that felt like they were ignoring or mocking Cha Jeonghan at all, so I felt much more comfortable than when meeting high school friends.
“Alright, alright, you’re all talking so much that I just remembered why we met today. At this rate, I’ll just go home. Here, take your wedding invitations. It’s the end of this month, and I went to the wedding hall and tried all the food—it’s really delicious. Come see me, congratulate me, eat the delicious food and go.”
The crisp paper without a single wrinkle shimmered faintly. When I grabbed the beautifully carved part and opened it, there was a wedding photo of the sunbae and his bride. Seeing the phrase about how the two people met and are trying to sparkle as one light, they looked happy and it was nice. Sharing in someone’s joyful moment, their happy moment, was truly something that made me happy too.
“Sunbae, congratulations, really. I’ll definitely come.”
“Thanks. If you have someone to come with, come together. Don’t you have anyone? Come to think of it, I never saw you dating anyone when you were in school. I have no memory of it. Did you date? You were popular. You got confessed to a lot.”
“I was busy. Busy with assignments, and after Jeonghan started working, it was even more hectic.”
“True. Well, let’s say you were young then—what about these days? You still don’t have anyone? Are you still going to all of Jeonghan’s schedules?”
“No. Only when needed. These days I have much more time than before. I can come out like this too.”
“Then you could date. Otherwise, you’ll quickly get older. If you suddenly think ‘should I try dating now’ later, you won’t be able to because you don’t know how to do it. Do it before it’s too late. It’s good once you do it.”
Once the dating topic came up, everyone started saying something, all saying they’d never seen me date. Honestly, I’d been liking Cha Jeonghan alone the whole time, so I’d never once thought about dating or anything like that. Other than the memory of trying hard and making an effort not to even think about what it would feel like to date Cha Jeonghan because just thinking about it made me feel guilty, nothing else existed.
“I’m fine even now. Later… if I want to do it, I’ll do it.”
“If I keep talking about myself and telling you to do this or that, these days they say you’re being a boomer, right? I should stop now.”
Fortunately, the same conversation didn’t continue and attention didn’t stay focused on me. They were tactful people who clearly cut things off when needed and didn’t say more, so even when the atmosphere seemed like it might get uncomfortable, it quickly eased up.
I thought we’d just have dinner and part ways, but we moved to a café. We ordered coffee and various desserts, and we really lost track of time talking about everything that had piled up.
We talked about university days, talked about after getting jobs, and words from inside our hearts about current struggles and worries only started coming out of our hearts after the atmosphere became a bit more comfortable. Even while listening to all those stories, I had nothing to say about myself. So I just listened as well as I could to the words coming to me. That was all I could do right now.
After leaving the café, Choi Joo-an sunbae and the other seniors said they had to go and left, and only the classmates remained and went into a beer place saying let’s have just one drink before going. Seeing faces that seemed regretful to just part ways after meeting like this for the first time in a while, I too found it difficult to slip away alone. It seemed like there were things they couldn’t talk about comfortably with the seniors around, so I also wanted to hear deeper conversations.
With a beer each in front of us, deeper conversations went back and forth. There too, I had not a single story I could tell. Because all of my daily life was entirely related to Cha Jeonghan. If I carelessly talked about things, people who knew both me and him would naturally have no choice but to think in connection with Cha Jeonghan. I didn’t like Cha Jeonghan being misunderstood because of me, and I didn’t like him becoming troubled. Because I knew all too well that even without me, he already received plenty of heavy and sharp attention.
As I listened to the stories, time passed frantically. Everyone got up from their seats with faces that looked refreshed, as if they’d said everything they needed to say. I exchanged greetings for quite a while with classmates saying we must see each other again next time, that next time we meet it will be next year, then got in a taxi. I stated Cha Jeonghan’s house address, and as I leaned my body back, my eyes closed automatically. I kept them closed until the eyelids that had come down somewhat stiffly relaxed, then took out my phone.
“…I had calls.”
I didn’t know, but there were ten missed calls recorded. Of course, they were all from Cha Jeonghan. I quickly called him. As soon as the signal rang once, Cha Jeonghan’s voice replaced it.
– Where are you?
At the voice immediately asking where I was, I looked out the window for no reason. It was dark and things were passing too quickly, making it difficult to say exactly where I was, so I kept looking trying to find something I knew when I heard a rushing voice.
– Where are you? Ji Yuhyeon, are you listening to me?
“I’m listening. I’m in a taxi going there now. Since it’s night, it’s not congested… I think it’ll take about 30 minutes.”
– Did you just part ways now?
“…Yeah. It just happened. When did you get in?”
– About two hours ago.
“I’ll come quickly.”
– Okay.
An answer flowed and the call ended a bit later. I wasn’t drunk from just two beers, but hearing Cha Jeonghan’s voice made my ears burn as if I was getting a bit tipsy. It was because of me reacting to his voice regardless of my will.
The heat that started in my ears where his voice clung spread to my whole face. I opened the window slightly on my burning face and faced the cold wind coming in from outside. Hoping that all this heat would cool down so I could be like someone nothing had happened to before seeing Cha Jeonghan.
When I got off the elevator, I saw Cha Jeonghan standing leaning crookedly with the door open. Cha Jeonghan stared at me approaching with a face that had become somewhat sensitive.
“What time is it now?”
It was something I’d never heard even from my parents. It was because I’d never gone in late enough to hear such words before becoming independent, and I’d never acted without permission, but hearing words from Cha Jeonghan that I’d never heard even from my parents felt a bit strange.
“It’s past twelve.”
“Already? I didn’t know.”
“You didn’t even notice the time passing?”
“Since we were all meeting after a long time… even if each person talked just a little, time passed well.”
“Come in first.”
Cha Jeonghan, who had been leaning crookedly, straightened his body and made space for me to enter. I took off my shoes at the entrance and went inside. Cha Jeonghan followed behind me and continued speaking.
“I told you to call if you’d be late.”
“You’d be tired too, so how could I call you?”
“Even if I’m tired, can’t I pick you up?”
“I feel bad about it, so that’s why.”
“Still, call me. If you go around this late without contact, I worry.”
“Jeonghan-ah.”
I knew Cha Jeonghan’s heart. Cha Jeonghan always wanted to worry about me and protect me. Because he disliked his one and only precious friend being exposed to even the smallest danger. Ever since I injured my arm back then, Cha Jeonghan overprotected me.
“I’m not a kid. I’m thirty too. At this age, calling out a friend who worked all day to come get me because I’m late is stranger.”
“……”
“Would my heart be comfortable if you drove here to pick me up?”
“……”
“I know your worried heart. I’m grateful. I’m sorry too…. But I don’t know about other things, but calling you out because I’m late and coming comfortably like that—I can’t do that in the future either.”
“Why can’t you? I do it for you.”
“I’m your manager too. And you know from before that we’re a bit different in that aspect. It was like that when we were young too. I like it when you tell me to come so I go, but I don’t like calling you when I’m a bit struggling and making you struggle too.”
Cha Jeonghan looked at me without saying anything, then lowered his gaze. That gaze that dropped to the floor then came back up looked somewhat hurt, so my heart felt heavy as if I’d misspoken.
“So why do you dislike that?”
