His stomach churned, and his chest hurt so he could only cry. He desperately called for Ganghyuk, but there was no one to answer.
Then at some point, strength gradually drained from his body. Even blinking became difficult. He had a premonition that if he lost consciousness like this, he would die, but it was his limit.
Until the very end, he thought about Ganghyuk. He couldn’t endure without doing so.
“He, he tried to rape me…… So, I hated it so much, I tried to bite my tongue……”
Ian haltingly brought up what had happened at the time. Ganghyuk’s expression looked so scary that emotions surged up.
He’d been so scared. He’d only just met Ganghyuk. He’d really thought he was going to die.
“Your expression, it’s… scary……”
At Ian’s words, Ganghyuk immediately relaxed his expression. He tried his best to soften his eyes gently. He cursed himself inwardly, calling himself a crazy bastard.
Was he in his right mind to dig up memories he didn’t want to recall? Ganghyuk urgently patted Ian’s back. The hand still holding his interlaced fingers, trying to soothe Ian.
“I’m sorry. It’s all my fault. Don’t be scared, okay?”
At the gentle tone he was hearing for the first time, Ian bit his rolled lips and nodded. What did it mean that he’d killed Hongdo? Had he really committed murder?
Ian also had many things he wanted to ask Ganghyuk. Ganghyuk’s body gradually came into view. Bandages were wrapped around his forearm and side. Blood faintly showed through the gauze.
“……Are you, hikeuk, hurt?”
Ian couldn’t bring himself to touch the bandages and only groped around them. Ganghyuk lightly kissed Ian’s cheek. The skin wet with tears was moist.
“It’s nothing. Are you a little calmer now?”
The wounds from knife cuts were trivial compared to the hardships Ian had experienced. Ganghyuk brushed Ian’s sweat-soaked hair behind his ear.
Still, tears welled up from Ian’s eyes. His body also trembled intermittently, and he inhaled breath as if hiccupping once in a while.
“Still, he couldn’t, huk, go all the way…… I resisted hard……”
Ian said while rubbing his cheek against Ganghyuk’s palm. His tongue and cheek hurt, but he desperately needed Ganghyuk’s body temperature.
He didn’t know how comforting it was to feel Ganghyuk’s pheromones with each breath. To keep confirming this wasn’t a dream, Ian desperately inhaled.
Even as sweat pooled between their interlaced palms, he didn’t loosen his grip. Body temperature and pheromones. Both were so precious to Ian right now.
“I resented you, I’m sorry……”
As his mind returned a little, he felt ashamed that he’d only said mean things to Ganghyuk who had rescued him. Seeing Ganghyuk injured, he could picture how desperately he must have searched for him.
“What are you sorry for? I’m the one who did wrong. I’ll have to keep apologizing to you from now on.”
Ganghyuk shook his head and stroked Ian’s uninjured cheek. He had nothing to say even if he were slapped, yet here he was apologizing.
The kid was too gentle and kind, whether as a child or now. He was grateful Ian had woken up safely, and relieved that he wasn’t pushing him away.
Even if he resented him more, he had nothing to say. Even so, if he’d pushed him away saying he didn’t want to see him, he wouldn’t have had the confidence to let him go, so he was fortunate.
“I’m sorry.”
At the apology—he’d lost count of how many times—Ian blinked his large eyes and leaned his forehead on Ganghyuk’s shoulder. Ganghyuk’s body temperature, which he usually thought was hot, felt cool now.
“From now on, you must… protect me…… So I never experience this again……”
“Yes. I promise.”
Ganghyuk turned his head and repeatedly kissed Ian’s temple, eyes, and the side of his head. Hadn’t he realized after losing him once? That he absolutely couldn’t live without this child from now on.
Protecting Ian was also protecting himself. If something happened to Ian, the same would happen to him.
“I’m sleepy, but I’m scared…… If I fall asleep, I might be there again……”
The end of Ian’s voice stretched out long. Though he’d regained consciousness briefly, the fatigue accumulated in his body was severe. Moreover, crying hard had consumed a lot of energy. His fever kept rising, so his breath was hot.
“I’ll stay by your side. You can sleep without worry.”
Ganghyuk changed position while holding Ian. He leaned against the headboard of the bed so Ian could lie comfortably in his arms.
Shortly after, Ian let out even breathing. Ganghyuk, who had been listening quietly, stroked Ian’s head as if handling the most precious thing in the world, then pressed the call button.
As soon as the door opened, Ganghyuk brought his index finger to his lips. One hand was still held by Ian.
When Director Kim approached quietly, Ganghyuk gestured with his eyes at Ian’s arm. Seeing the IV line stained with blood, Director Kim spoke in a small voice to the nurse standing beside him about what was needed.
“Give me an alcohol swab.”
“Yes.”
Gripping the sterile swab the nurse handed him, Director Kim checked Ian’s arm with careful movements. Fortunately, the needle hadn’t come out, so after wiping the blood drops with the swab, he applied new fixing tape. Then he moved the IV bag to a higher position.
“The kid seems to have a fever.”
“Just a moment.”
After the treatment was finished, Ganghyuk added. After checking Ian’s temperature with a thermometer, Director Kim nodded.
“His temperature is 38.3 degrees. I’ll administer fever medication right away. Prepare the fever reducer.”
“Yes, Director.”
Director Kim drew out the fever reducer ampoule the nurse handed him with a sterile syringe and injected the medicine into the injection port connected to the IV line Ian was currently receiving.
“It’ll work together with the IV. Did the patient wake up?”
Ganghyuk recalled Ian showing an extreme reaction as soon as he regained consciousness and said:
“Yes. I think we’ll need to provide psychological treatment as well.”
“Yes. I’ll prepare it.”
After Director Kim and the nurse left, Ganghyuk didn’t remove the sleeping Ian from his arms, and every time Ian groaned, he released pheromones and caressed Ian’s head and cheeks.
Being like this reminded him of childhood. Back then too, Ian often fell asleep in Ganghyuk’s arms. At those times, Ganghyuk was comforted by the warmth in his arms.
In those days when both his body and heart were still not fully mature, Ian’s bright laughter and unconditionally given affection were planted like seeds in Ganghyuk’s heart without him knowing, then sprouted the moment they reunited.
What had been merely a sprout that would crumble if stepped on had at some point become a tree with strong roots, scattering a fresh green fragrance.
Someday it would bear fruit too. Holding Ian, drowsiness came over him. Though there was a mountain of things to do, he wanted to soak in this peace even just a little bit.
When he closed his eyes, longed-for memories rushed in. Within them, Ganghyuk met his still-young self and the cutest little kid in the world.
ლ
“Heok!”
Ian opened his eyes making a gasping sound. The hospital gown soaked in cold sweat clung unpleasantly to his skin.
He frantically looked around, then his eyes met with Ganghyuk who was watching him.
“Executive Director…”
His heart that had been beating like crazy finally began to calm down little by little. Ian was still being held in Ganghyuk’s arms. He didn’t know how long he’d been like this, but the IV that had been full in the bottle had almost completely disappeared.
“Did you have a nightmare?”
A voice without a trace of drowsiness flew into Ian’s ear.
“Yes…”
Ian hugged Ganghyuk’s back with both arms while trying to shake off the afterimage remaining in his head. The body too broad to embrace comfortably brought him a sense of stability.
He’d been truly scared he might never return to these arms again. In his dream, Ian had returned to that place again. Hongdo approached cackling and roughly groped his body, and the pitch-black darkness writhed like a monster.
He called for Ganghyuk until his throat burst, but the situation only got worse. When he’d fallen into fear to the point where it was hard to distinguish dream from reality, he felt a faint pheromone scent.
It was Ganghyuk’s pheromone. Following that pheromone, he ran for dear life. Though he’d never run freely because of his heart, being so terrified, his legs moved on their own.
Then at some point, he woke from sleep. He was fortunate to be able to see Ganghyuk as soon as he opened his eyes. Otherwise, he would have trembled in fear, worried he might not have escaped from Hongdo’s hands yet.
“Thank you… for staying by my side.”
Quite a bit of time must have passed, and Ian put strength into his embracing arms, grateful and sorry yet happy that Ganghyuk had watched over him while he slept. Then the IV needle painfully pricked his flesh and he groaned.
