I miss Grandfather.
At the thought that came unconsciously, Ian bit his lips. Not wanting to cry, when he put strength into his eyes, a stiff pain arose.
Sniffling, thinking that if he fell asleep on the sofa today too his whole body would ache, he went into his room. He left the living room light brightly on.
When alone, dark spaces approached particularly frighteningly. Though darkness wasn’t even alive, he felt as if he’d be devoured, making him feel like a child.
He lay down on the bed with the room door also left slightly open. Even with his eyes closed at the light seeping in from the living room, sleep didn’t come right away. Perhaps it was because of all sorts of random thoughts floating around in his head.
Still, was it because he was tired? Before long, drowsiness rushed over him. Today too, like yesterday, his phone was tightly clutched in his hand.
ლ
“Ian-ah, is something wrong?”
Today at three o’clock, Soyeon came to the shop. After admiring how the tables were about half full even though lunchtime had passed, she soon saw Ian’s face was dark and asked with a worried expression.
“I didn’t sleep much. Does my face look very strange?”
“Strange? You’re handsome as always. Just, you seem a bit tired. Like you have no energy too.”
At Soyeon’s words as she grinned, Ian also forced the corners of his mouth up. Having kept smiling while dealing with customers, both his cheeks were stiff as if cramped.
“Is it because the shop work is busy? It must be really hard working alone, right?”
“Grandfather did this work too. …I should have helped him more back then.”
“The old man was practically Superman. I still haven’t seen an elderly person as vigorous as him.”
A wistful look passed over Soyeon’s face as she talked about Cheolho.
“Did you have lunch? Shall I give you some soup?”
Feeling like tears would pop out if he talked about Grandfather at a time like this, Ian changed the subject. Soyeon nodded with delight.
“I’d be grateful if you did. I actually stopped by to see your face and eat soup anyway. For some reason today I wanted rich broth. Give me lots of ingredients.”
“Okay.”
Ian went into the kitchen and brought out soup filled to the point of overflowing the earthenware pot. And after placing it in front of Soyeon, they shared each other’s recent news.
Soyeon, curious about Ganghyuk who was living with Ian, casually brought it up while eating soup.
“Ahem. How’s the person you’re living with? Ajumma said he’s not a bad person. I was a bit surprised to hear that. Because Ajumma has a more discerning eye for people than I do.”
He wanted to avoid talking about his grandfather, but the same went for Ganghyuk. Moreover, Ganghyuk was the current cause of Ian’s deathly pale face.
The missed calls and messages he’d left for Ganghyuk had already exceeded one hand’s worth. Even though he’d endured as much as possible before sending them.
But there was still no reply. Yesterday he’d stayed up with his eyes open until 1 AM waiting, then couldn’t sleep well. No wonder his dark circles were getting darker.
“…He’s a good person.”
After worrying, he spoke briefly. Even with all sorts of things happening, the fact that Ganghyuk was a good person remained unchanged.
Ian never forgot for a moment that thanks to that, he could live an ordinary daily life like now. Because whenever he was about to forget, the terrible memories of being dragged away by Hongdo and what he experienced would resurface.
“Hmm.”
Soyeon let out a meaningful breath while scooping up soup with her spoon. Her exceptional intuition was telling her. That something was going on between Ian and that man.
Well, setting aside the cold atmosphere and dangerous background, Ganghyuk was a handsome man, good-looking enough to make one’s eyes spin. Moreover, he seemed to be an alpha, so he would approach Ian, an omega, even more attractively.
He’d even pulled Ian out of a difficult situation and they were living together in a not-so-large house, bumping into each other, so it might be harder for feelings not to develop.
The large age gap was a concern, but it was better than meeting a young alpha guy with no substance.
The problem was that Ian’s expression was dark.
“Something happened with that person, didn’t it?”
Since it would probably be hard to talk about this kind of thing with Okjeong, she asked subtly. Ian happened to have no friends his own age either. The people living in this neighborhood were almost all elderly, so Soyeon was relatively close to Ian’s age bracket. Young people left this neighborhood as soon as they became adults.
“Did I mention it? I’ve had over twenty romantic relationships. The person I’m living with now is my tenth cohabitant.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. My younger sibling even suggested I write a book about relationships. Because I gave my friends amazing relationship advice.”
Faint curiosity settled on Ian’s face, which had been gloomy. Having suffered alone for several days, he was on the verge of developing an internal illness.
Then he noticed Soyeon’s eyes were sparkling excessively. A warning sound rang in his mind.
“Nothing happened.”
He almost let it slip for a moment. Relationship advice. He wasn’t even dating Ganghyuk yet, and most importantly, if Soyeon found out he liked Ganghyuk, the aftermath would be a headache.
To put it nicely, Soyeon was sociable; to put it badly, she had loose lips. Was it because she ran a beauty salon? She liked to hear various rumors while touching customers’ hair and spread them around too.
It wasn’t like she recklessly spread troublesome personal matters or secrets people wanted to hide, but above all, she was more interested in romantic rumors than anyone else in this neighborhood.
Even in a neighborhood where elderly people lived, love was bound to bloom. Ian’s grandfather was particularly popular with quite a few grandmothers having one-sided crushes on him, and once, one grandmother had tried to harm Okjeong.
It was a happening that occurred because, seeing Okjeong being close with Cheolho, she believed the two were lovers.
To get his head straight, Ian clenched both fists tightly. However, Soyeon had already witnessed the fish biting the bait.
If she’d been completely unaware it would be one thing, but now that she’d caught on, it was impossible for Ian to escape. Soyeon put down her spoon on the table.
Even at the small sound, Ian flinched and trembled his shoulders. Seeing her meaningful smile, he hastily turned his eyes elsewhere, but he was still in the palm of Soyeon’s hand anyway.
“So, did you confess?”
“C-confess what…!”
The flustered Ian raised his voice, but the smile on Soyeon’s lips only deepened.
“You couldn’t because you’re afraid of being rejected. Or did he subtly push you away? Saying you wouldn’t be able to become his romantic partner.”
“That never happened…!”
“Ian-ah, you see, people. Even when they lie, they can’t hide their eyes. Right now your eyes are telling me. That you’re working hard on a one-sided love alone, but it’s not going well.”
“Huk.”
At Soyeon’s words as if possessed by a god, Ian’s lips fell open. He tried to pretend otherwise, but Soyeon seemed like someone who knew everything. Even though that couldn’t be the case.
“I told you. I’ve given a lot of relationship advice to friends. There were quite a few friends in situations similar to yours, Ian. It’s a prejudice that men will unconditionally like younger people.”
Soyeon held out her index finger and shook it left and right. Ian unknowingly fixed his gaze on Soyeon’s lips as if enchanted.
The temptation was too intense. Soyeon scratched precisely at the part that might have been itchy because he had no one to talk to, so he fell helplessly.
“Decent guys want mature people their own age. If the age gap is too large, it actually burdens them. They might have high moral standards in this area. Think about when you were twenty, your partner was ten. That in itself is out.”
At the cold words, Ian clasped both hands together. Looking back at everything that had happened so far, Ganghyuk definitely seemed to have no romantic feelings for Ian whatsoever.
He wouldn’t have casually given leeway that could raise hopes to someone who made his heart flutter. He wouldn’t carelessly strip off his shirt and walk around like it was nothing. He wouldn’t have thrown out words asking if sex was possible without love either.
All of that, as Soyeon said, were words and actions that could come out because Ian wasn’t a romantic prospect to Ganghyuk.
He was just being good to him. Not knowing how much Ian’s heart fluttered at even his small actions.
“But if you approach too carefully, you’ll get nowhere. First of all, to cook rice, you have to put the pot on the fire. Do you think it’ll become rice just by leaving it alone? But if you approach too lukewarmly, it becomes porridge instead of rice, and if you push too hard, it’ll burn up completely and be unusable.”
