Dohui turned his eyes to look around, but he couldn’t make out the faces of the men. They clearly had eyes, noses, and mouths — and yet he still couldn’t. Their hairstyles were similar too, so to tell them apart, Dohui had to listen carefully to their voices.
Even after that, the voices kept changing every time. The scenes flew by so fast — and even while aware it was a terrible nightmare, it was horrifying.
When Dohui let out a sharp cry, a rough palm came down hard on his backside. No restraint whatsoever. It felt like being struck with a club.
“Damn it, enough. He said if the merchandise gets damaged, he’ll kill us.”
“Ha……”
“Ease up. This is going to bruise.”
“Who did this anyway. This bastard’s cheek is completely swollen.”
“That was the Director — hey, shh…… You have zero awareness, I swear. Keep it down, you idiot.”
“Wow, seriously. Got me going the second I heard it. Hey, damn it. Spread your legs wider. No, just — fold your body.”
While a man’s length pushed inside his half-folded body, Dohui gasped and took another man’s into his mouth. There were no more openings left in Dohui’s body, but the men surrounding him had not a shred of patience. They made him grip one in each hand, or else rubbed themselves against Dohui’s nipples.
Dohui shuddered with overwhelming humiliation. I’m a man. A man with the same form as these people. The ones feeling desire toward a body like that are the ones who aren’t right in the head.
Dohui vomited several times after that. Each time a length was pulled from his mouth, the semen that had slid down his throat surged back up. He wrenched his head to the side and dry-heaved uncontrollably, tears spilling out from pure reflex.
Dohui had fundamentally never been attracted to men. He knew well enough that getting aroused by someone with the same anatomy as himself was not normal. And every time he turned over the fact that encountering people who fell outside that standard had happened because of Jinho, his heart fractured apart.
Please, just stop……
The men who thought of Dohui as nothing more than a living hole slapped his cheek to bring him back whenever he lost consciousness. Ugh…… the length packed deep inside him pushed his insides all to one side.
But, strangely — impossibly — Dohui felt aroused in the middle of all this. He shouldn’t be…… it was because of the drug they had forced into him. That made it all the more agonizing. His mind kept saying this was wrong, but the pleasure surged up like madness. He thought the top of his head might blow off.
“Sucking like a pro and still making a fuss.”
Dohui’s wretched breathing went down his throat together with a stranger’s release. Thick, viscous fluid slid down his esophagus in waves. His body swallowed automatically whatever was pushed into his mouth.
“Tastes good, right? That’s your meal. Your meal.”
“You haven’t been eating anything — at least eat this to survive.”
Saying that, the length that had been filling his mouth finally withdrew. It had been forced in so relentlessly that the corners of his lips had split, and the roof of his mouth and inner cheeks were raw. Everything hurt no matter what he did. After the men were gone, he crawled to the water dispenser, but even swallowing water felt like an ordeal.
Like a film reel being changed, the scene shifted again. Without warning, Dohui was seated on top of a man, and he pushed back with his arms. The length began to slip out little by little.
Apparently displeased, the man grabbed his hips and slammed him down hard. “Ah……!” The moan tore out of the man’s mouth. Dohui, mouth hanging open, stopped breathing. His dazed eyes turned toward the ceiling. He had the illusion that his own silhouette was being sketched across the gray surface above.
I want to stop now.
When Dohui tried to pull his hips away, the men burst out laughing. He felt crushed under the sound of it. The man grabbed his hips tight and pulled him back down. Hah——! The moment the heated length flooded back in against his walls, a feeble spurt of release shot from the tip of his own length.
The strange, rising traces of unwanted desire had not yet faded. The man beneath him still had his hips in a firm grip. From that position, he thrust upward. At a brutal pace — each collision jolting Dohui’s hair in every direction. And through it all, the length that refused to die no matter how many times it released swayed aimlessly.
All of it registered in his lower abdomen. The head pushing inside — pressing into somewhere deep within him. Every time it did, his swollen prostate was ground against, crushed, and rubbed raw. It felt like continuous release. Dohui was drowning in an endless climax.
Why do I have to go through this.
The question mark that had surfaced countless times since being dragged here pushed Dohui to the edge of a cliff once again. Stop, don’t, I said stop. He’d said those words until they lost all meaning. Even though not a single person listened.
They ignored him consistently, as though Dohui were speaking a foreign language they couldn’t understand. When he saw someone shrug their shoulders, he wanted to cling even to that small reaction. There were times he actually did, a few times.
But the only thing that ever came back was laughter. His body shrank inward at the unpleasant sound of it. Go away. Don’t come near me. Please…… someone help me.
Suddenly, a dark figure surged into Dohui’s field of vision. Hah, hah…… Someone was strangling him. He pried his closed eyelids open to look, but it took quite a long time before he could make out who it was.
“Didn’t I tell you? You can’t escape from here.”
Can’t breathe. I’m going to die. Stop—— Instead of those words, only ragged, wheezing sounds came out.
In that moment, Dohui’s eyes snapped open.
“……Hah, hah.”
The sound of his own harsh breathing reached his ears.
Dohui reached up and touched his throat. It stung — like he’d slept with the window open and breathed in cold air all night. When he turned over, the familiar layout of the room he’d grown somewhat used to came into view.
His back was completely damp with cold sweat. Dohui pressed his trembling hand to his forehead. His heart was hammering wildly.
“Hmm……”
Dohui pulled the blanket over and scrubbed his face with it roughly. A cool breeze grazed the fabric clinging flat against his back.
Gong Haejin, watching Dohui, gave a brief raise and drop of one eyebrow. He was on a call. He offered short responses like “Yeah, right,” and then jerked his chin toward the bedside table.
Dohui’s gaze followed. There was a water bottle and a glass set side by side. Pouring the water took everything he had. Like someone who’d just sprinted for their life — his muscles wouldn’t cooperate. He barely managed to fill the glass halfway, and spilled the other half across the bedside table.
After drinking the water, he could breathe again.
“Ah……”
He’d genuinely thought he was going to die. Dohui stretched his limbs out and lay back down. He stared blankly up at the ceiling, and his chest ached. It was too vivid to be a simple dream — the suffocating scenes too raw. Because every one of them had actually happened to him.
Was it two, three, or four? He tried counting the number of men who’d appeared in the dream. Maybe five. He’d almost never endured it with a clear mind — it was likely during the times he’d been drugged.
There were times Dohui made meaningless attempts to escape. Hiding behind a sofa, or crawling under an office desk. He’d get grabbed by the ankle and dragged back out. The brutal circumstances continued regardless of his wishes. When the drug wore off, they gave him more, and again……
Dohui clenched his fist and opened it. It had been quite some time since he’d been able to go without the IV drip. Which meant there was no significant restriction on his movement.
Set aside the debt that was forced into existence. Even if — truly, if — such a debt were real, Gong Haejin had no right to keep him anchored like this. A man who committed every manner of crime had confined him without a shred of morality. Does he even know that’s a crime.
He would have no idea what Dohui had been through, what state of mind he’d been enduring it in. How much the memories gnawing at his brain tormented him. And therefore — how furious he was.
Dohui got up and went into the bathroom. He had become a wreck who could no longer recognize his own face. When he looked in the mirror, a stranger stared back. It was utterly horrifying.
His eyes were clearly the almond shape he’d always known, and his nose too — but when he put the eyes and nose and mouth all together, he couldn’t tell who he was looking at. It was so unfair. So impossibly unfair he felt like he was going mad. To the point of not knowing who to blame.
Should he blame Jinho, who had sold him out without a second thought. Should he blame Gong Haejin, who had broken his body. Or should he blame himself — for naively believing a promise, and dreaming a distant dream of escaping from Gong Haejin.
The idea that Gong Haejin was holding him simply for the sake of money was deeply troubling. Dohui looked around at the space he stood in.
The extravagantly luxurious bathroom — not a single tile wasted. Warm lighting circled softly, easy on the eyes. Standing barefoot no longer felt cold. That was because Gong Haejin had noticed how sensitive he was to the cold and turned the indoor temperature up slightly.
As if anyone asked him to. A person with a bathroom like this, shoving illegal documents in front of someone and forcing them to sign. That infuriated him to no end.
The more he turned it over, the more Gong Haejin’s intentions eluded him. Is he just a psychopath. Watching him kill other people so easily — it seems like it. And the fact that he enjoys rape too…… The more he pieced it together, the more Gong Haejin was someone who should never have been unleashed on the world. If something like that could even be called a person.
He wanted to smash every neatly arranged toiletry in the bathroom — but he held back, thinking of Gong Haejin who would come at the sound.
Instead, he ran his hands through his own hair and messed it up completely. The fact that the only thing he could destroy was himself wore him down all over again.
I’m so tired of this…… He turned the tap on full blast and washed his face roughly. In the mirror, a man with wet lashes blinked back at him. A man whose face he no longer recognized grimaced faintly.
Is that really his face. No matter how he dug through his memory — as if it had been cleanly erased — his own face wouldn’t surface. Mom…… grandmother…… all his friends.
Ha — no matter how many sighs he breathed out, the suffocating weight in his chest refused to ease.
‘It may be temporary, or it may not. Getting tested would help determine the specifics…… but truthfully, prosopagnosia itself is not a common condition, so how much that would help is uncertain.’
‘What I do know is that drawings are possible. In terms of recognition, I mean.’
He’d been talking about caricatures. Dohui looked down at the palm of his hand. Who remembers people through caricatures. Everything about this place was full of contradictions. Kwon Chano — the doctor — and Gong Haejin both.
‘Did you take the drugs too, Director?’
‘Me? The one selling the drugs doesn’t take the drugs.’
‘But those people…… they did……’
‘Who. Ah, the office guys? Those ones are replaceable at the drop of a hat.’
‘Then…… will you replace me at the drop of a hat too?’
‘Dohui, stop dreaming.’
Every punishment that Jinho and the others deserved was being borne by him alone. They left too easily through death, and he was the one left living.
Is it because he wants to torment me. Because he wants to see how long it takes before I lose my mind. The wounds left by everything he’d endured — inflicted out of that base curiosity — hurt. His chest felt split open. As if a wound that could never be stitched shut had taken up residence there, Dohui slowly rubbed the area around his solar plexus.
