What should I do with you.
Will there ever come a day when you win our bet.
‘I’ll give you a few more chances. It doesn’t have to be now — whenever you manage to kill me someday, I’ll let you go then.’
No one had ever readily pointed a blade at him. Much less had anyone who did ever survived it. People like that would just repeat the same thing again later, so he cut them off at the root entirely.
The one and only exception — perhaps never to be repeated — was Im Dohui.
What did he think he was going to do with that body of his, barely a mouthful. In the end, the one who got caught was Im Dohui. You.
These past few days had been rather entertaining. Bearing down on him while he acted like he couldn’t stand the sight of him — that had been interesting too.
But now he doesn’t even recognize who I am.
He found it so absurd that only a dull sigh escaped him.
***
In the early period, Dohui spent more hours asleep than awake. Kwon Chano had been keeping him sedated.
But it was impossible for a person in otherwise normal health to sustain themselves on IV drips alone. Nutrients were being administered to some degree, but for the stomach to function properly, it needed regular meals and movement.
‘Once he becomes aware of his situation, things should change somewhat. It will take some time, though.’
‘Do whatever. Try anything. If he stays in that state……’
Gong Haejin swallowed the rest of the sentence. Should I just throw him away. Then he wet his lips with the tip of his tongue. Pathetic, being that weak.
He was a feeble, fragile thing. Gong Haejin handed Kwon Chano a generous envelope. What filled it was, naturally, not banknotes.
‘Very well.’
Kwon Chano received the compensation with care and steeled his resolve.
Meals were left at the door, and how much was eaten was tracked. Kwon Chano visited every day and held quiet conversations with Dohui through the door. And gradually, he opened the door and entered his space.
As a result, it was a full month after the incident before Dohui had even somewhat come back to himself. It took quite a long time. For Professor Kwon to make Dohui aware of his diagnosis and help him understand it. And throughout that process, Gong Haejin watched from a distance.
When Dohui opened his eyes, he was blank. His mind wasn’t clear. It felt as though he’d been wandering for a very long time inside a long dream, and his body felt heavier than usual. The back of his hand bore the marks of many needle entries — dotted with small bruise-like marks here and there.
“Hey.”
He knew he was being called, but he didn’t lift his head.
It took a long while for it to sink in. What he had already been through. What he would still have to face. Kwon Chano approached Dohui with a surprising amount of care.
He came to awareness, then denial, and finally passed through acceptance. That process had not been easy. In the vast, empty room with no one around, he wept without sound, and sometimes screamed.
That was all. That was the extent of what Dohui could do. Having spent every last bit of energy that way, he was at last able to accept.
“Hey.”
Gong Haejin called again.
Don’t treat me like a pebble you happen to pass by on the road. Dohui complained inwardly.
The hardships Dohui had faced in his life had amounted to nothing more than the grueling college entrance exams, exam seasons that came around periodically, and assignment deadlines. He’d never had a falling out in any relationship, never bullied anyone, nor been on the receiving end of it.
He had simply been ordinary. Looking back on it now — how precious that everyday life had been. Dohui’s lips moved.
“Is there anyone……”
“……”
“Who’s looking for me.”
“I don’t understand.”
Gong Haejin walked over slowly. As always, he was dressed in black slacks. His deep voice carried on unhurriedly.
“What difference would knowing make.”
“……”
“You going to cry again?”
“……Why won’t you kill me?”
“Is that what you want?”
Only then did Dohui’s head slowly rise. Droplets gathered at the corners of his eyes rolled silently down. He’d thought there was nothing left to cry over, but Gong Haejin’s words were not the kind he could simply let wash past him.
The one who called himself Jinho’s uncle. The driver. The manager. Who’s next.
He must have been bruised so thoroughly there wasn’t a single unscathed spot on him. And yet the pain kept coming. He couldn’t pinpoint exactly where it hurt — but everything truly hurt.
Dohui pulled his cracked lips upward. Tear-soaked, his mouth curved into something.
Gong Haejin’s footsteps stopped.
Skin as pale as someone convalescing from a grave illness — he looked like the dead. The tears falling onto it registered as nothing. Dohui had cried often, and with nearly the same frequency, had screamed. That he hated himself to death. That they should let him go. That it wasn’t fair. Those had been the recurring refrains.
But where he’d expected the same reaction as always, Dohui — for the very first time — smiled at him. The corners of his eyes were burning red, and as his lip corners rose, his dry lips split open vertically.
“I’ll hate you until the day I die.”
He said it with those words.
Gong Haejin let out a brief laugh in return. At that, Dohui flinched.
“Smile more.”
“……Don’t come any closer.”
His only means of threat was the IV line crossing the back of his hand. Dohui’s weakened hand gripped the line tight.
Gong Haejin exhaled through his nose.
“Don’t.”
“Stay…… right there.”
“Im Dohui.”
The moment he reached out, Dohui yanked the IV line free. Could he at least not make a face like he’s dying of pain. Of all things, that temper of his.
Gong Haejin clicked his tongue and gripped Dohui’s shoulder.
“Stop being stubborn.”
After that, he called Kwon Chano — who had been waiting in the living room — in for a brief examination, and fed him rice porridge as instructed. He saw to it until the end despite the resistance. A young one’s pointless stubbornness was nothing to Gong Haejin.
He was like a flower left too long in a vase, gone wilted. The kind you keep going back and forth on — whether to throw it away or not. You look at its muddied color and think about tossing it in the bin, but even that feels like too much effort, so you just leave it.
The repeated pulling out of the IV was also a problem. From the moment he’d brought him in, the accumulated amount hadn’t been small. And things like that were like cigarettes. Incredibly difficult to quit. The IV had medication mixed in to help with that. And whether by misfortune or luck, the hardest stretch had been slept through, thanks to Dohui letting go of his senses.
Dohui stumbled upright from where he sat.
“Don’t pull it out.”
The warning came in a voice thick with lingering sleep, and Dohui exhaled. Gong Haejin checked the clock on the bedside table. Dawn was still a long way off.
Dohui got out of bed and headed to the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and drank ice-cold water. Then he carefully pulled out the half-finished IV needle. He didn’t yank at it carelessly anymore. He thought of Kwon Chano’s words — that the veins had thinned and were getting harder to find — but it was already done.
With his now-free hand, he took out the rice porridge with practiced ease and reheated it before eating. It was an act done simply because he needed to eat something. He moved with a blank expression, as though only instinct remained.
When Dohui came out of the kitchen having finished eating, Gong Haejin was seated on the living room sofa. Catching sight of the figure bathed in the bright light, Dohui changed direction. Since Gong Haejin was there, he intended to retreat to the room.
“Not listening again.”
His voice hooked around Dohui’s ankle. The legs dragging along the floor came to a stop.
“Come here.”
“……”
Dohui appeared to hesitate for a moment, bowing his head. But soon he turned around.
The man hated repeating himself to an extreme degree. He hadn’t hit him these past few days, but there was no knowing when he might turn violent again. On top of that, given his current physical state, he had no confidence he could withstand his violence.
It felt like being choked again — and yet Dohui’s two legs moved slowly but surely toward Gong Haejin.
“You’re fully awake.”
The already heavy voice sank even lower in the dead of night. In this place where no noise reached, the voice Dohui heard most was Gong Haejin’s.
Gong Haejin drew Dohui’s hand over and rested it against his own cheek. Goosebumps rose even against flawlessly smooth skin. Dohui bit down on his lip and held himself back from pulling his hand away.
He did this sometimes. Attempted to bring back someone who no longer recognized his face. Not that it would change anything. The cruel face never re-embedded itself in his brain. Even the image of the man’s face that had been stored in his memory had been erased.
That was a truly sad thing.
Because at this rate, even if he actually killed this man with his own hands, he wouldn’t be able to remember it properly.
“Pull it out one more time and I’ll tie you down.”
“……”
“Is it really that hard to just stay still?”
Dohui shook his small head from side to side.
“Then don’t pull it out tomorrow. You saw how hard Professor Kwon worked to get the IV line in.”
“……”
“Here — touch my face.”
“……”
