Before he could finish his sentence, Gong Haejin let out a scoff.
At that reaction, the excuses he’d carefully thought up wouldn’t come out easily. Part of it was those two eyes that seemed to see straight through him. The faint gleam in his gaze was unmistakable even in the lit interior of the room.
He was so scared his hands trembled.
……I’m going to get hit again.
Dohui squeezed his eyes shut.
Gong Haejin snapped his middle finger and thumb together. The sharp click pulled Dohui’s attention back to him.
“Want to play? I’ll give you time. About a minute?”
“……”
“You know how to play hide-and-seek, right? An opportunity like this won’t come again.”
Huff, huff — the sound of his own breathing seemed unusually loud. Was it only that loud to him. Had he noticed his tension and his lies.
Nothing was certain.
The only thing that was clear was that Gong Haejin didn’t believe him.
“I’m counting.”
Gong Haejin pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and placed one between his lips. The flint struck cold and spat a flame. Holding a silver lighter with a cigarette propped between two fingers, Gong Haejin approached in an unhurried motion. You’re not going to hide even though I gave you the chance? He let the words drift out casually.
“What, not a fan of this kind of game?”
“……”
That handsome face came right up to Dohui’s nose. Because he had bent at the waist to meet Dohui’s height.
“You have to answer.”
“……Yes.”
Dohui barely managed to get the word out and swallowed hard. The sweetness of the shine muscat grapes still lingered in his mouth.
The man, in stark contrast to that sweet scent, smiled with a sharp, unsettling edge. With half-lidded, languid eyes, he swept his disheveled hair back.
“Yeah?”
He drew in so deeply his cheeks hollowed, and the cigarette blazed red like a will-o’-the-wisp. Hoo…… A cloud of acrid smoke poured over Dohui’s face. Cough, cough. Dohui coughed and stumbled back a step.
“Don’t like this either?”
Lots of things you don’t like.
He noticed even Dohui’s small reactions and spoke. He studied the sweat-slicked face carefully. It was winter now. He wasn’t sensitive to the cold, so he kept the heating in the house turned down to its lowest setting.
Which meant, in winter’s cool air, the reasons for breaking into a sweat were obvious. A mischievous cat caught in the act, all tense and flustered. How cute. Gong Haejin weighed what punishment to give Dohui for this small act of rebellion. And whether he’d be able to handle it well enough.
That face with every muscle locked up will be a sight. Gong Haejin placed a hand on his shoulder. Dohui startled but didn’t move. A body that looked like it would topple with one push trembled all over.
“All that scheming with a timid little thing like you.”
Gong Haejin scooped Dohui up abruptly. A short yelp burst out of him. Two firm smacks on his squirming backside quieted him down. The jolt sent cigarette ash tumbling to the floor.
He carried him into the bathroom, dropped Dohui into the tub, and turned on the showerhead, aiming the stream straight at the top of his head.
“Ugh……”
The sudden rush of hot water soaked Dohui’s body. It was like being caught in a sudden downpour without warning — he couldn’t get his bearings.
Water poured freely into his parted mouth. With it raining down without a pause, it was hard to breathe through his nose. Dohui flailed and rubbed his face, and the stream shifted slightly lower. His t-shirt was completely soaked too, clinging to his skin.
“I told you to wash off the smell, not plot an escape.”
And whose fault is that. Resentment toppled like dominoes. The t-shirt and pants he’d managed to throw on were now utterly, uselessly soaked.
“Going out looking like that——”
The low voice wove in and out of the roaring rush of water. Under the pretense of washing him, he had drenched the only set of clothes he had. Going out like this would be a perfect way to freeze to death.
Dohui chewed the inside of his cheek and glared at him. Gong Haejin laughed at the undisguised, transparent emotion pouring out of those murderous eyes. His well-shaped lips curved up, and the sound of his laughter rang off the bathroom walls.
He still held the showerhead in one hand and the cigarette between the fingers of the other. He put the cigarette to his lips, drew deeply, and blew the smoke up toward the ceiling with a long hoo.
“You know what shampoo looks like, right?”
He asked without handing the showerhead over to Dohui.
Steam curled up from the soaked body. Even with warm water streaming over him, the cold came on fast — Dohui hugged his own arms and shivered. The air was freezing. Cold enough that it felt like a window must have been thrown wide open somewhere. His teeth chattered in small, rapid clicks.
“Cold?”
“Hmm……”
Was it because of memory fragments he could never forget. Shivering through the night in that basement, waiting for time to pass — it had been carved into his body. A memory that man had cruelly branded into him.
“There’s no way.”
Gong Haejin dismissed it as though he were putting on an act.
“Start.”
Gong Haejin placed the showerhead in Dohui’s hand. The needlessly luxurious showerhead was heavy. Dohui held the showerhead with its warm running water and endured the biting, breath-stealing cold for a long while.
When on earth is he going to leave. Why is he just standing there silently smoking — he couldn’t make sense of it.
Gong Haejin finished the burned-down cigarette and took out another. He tilted his head slightly, and behind the hand partially shielding it, a cool flame appeared.
When the orange flame died inside Gong Haejin’s dark eyes, Dohui allowed himself a small hope. Please just leave. But when Gong Haejin’s gaze swung back to him as if ignoring that long-held wish, Dohui bit down on his lip at yet another hollow disappointment — he’d lost count of how many times by now.
Is he really going to keep watching like this. Dohui’s lips had gone blue. His already feverish body was cooling down fast, and his vision was beginning to blur.
Then — snap — Gong Haejin flicked his fingers and gave a small tilt of his chin. A wordless command. Get on with it and start washing.
“Want me to strip you?”
Dohui rubbed at his arm, covered in fine goosebumps.
“……Please leave.”
“No.”
“……”
“……How am I supposed to wash with you watching.”
His voice trailed off at the end. Self-conscious, his eyes darted around nervously.
Gong Haejin straightened up from where he’d been slouched crookedly against the wall. Out of the corner of his eye, Dohui could see those bare feet stepping onto the bathroom floor and approaching. ……Why is he coming closer again. Dohui kept backing away until his back met the wall and he had nowhere left to go.
Gong Haejin grabbed hold of Dohui’s wet t-shirt. It wasn’t even his to begin with, but the fear that it might be torn by that rough strength gripped him. It was the only piece of clothing Dohui could wear. Would he give him another one. Would he strip him again and send him off to men whose faces he didn’t even know.
Dohui imagined the worst as he grabbed the man’s wrist. Cold-tinged fingertips shook the composure he’d barely managed to hold together.
“I, I can…… take it off myself.”
“Arms up.”
Dohui raised both arms awkwardly, his face on the verge of tears. The man pulled the t-shirt up. The fabric that had been completely plastered to his skin peeled away. With a heavy, waterlogged thud, the t-shirt hit the bathroom floor.
Only after stripping him of everything, down to his pants as well, did Gong Haejin take one step back. Then he gave another small tilt of his chin.
Dohui, trembling with fine shivers of shame, stepped under the shower. Whoosh. Even the immediate warmth of the water pouring over him couldn’t ease the tension. He slowly coaxed his chilled body temperature back up and then squeezed shampoo into his hand and washed his hair. Pale, hazy foam bloomed and billowed.
Even the act of washing couldn’t stop his attention from being pulled to Gong Haejin. The acrid smoke from the cigarette seeped in through the scent of shampoo. Because when one burned down, he’d carelessly toss it to the floor and pull out another.
What was he thinking, watching someone else wash. Did he even know how humiliating it was to be stared at like that — like every inch of him was being seen through.
Dohui held back the words that were threatening to burst out on the tip of his tongue. The resentment pooled inside him couldn’t overcome his fear. The man had hit him and tormented him at any given moment. There was no way to know when he’d snap — hurling insults and beating him, or worse, raping him. He couldn’t guarantee anything.
Barely, barely, he finished a rough shower. He wasn’t even sure what he’d washed or how. The feeling between his cheeks was still there, and the semen inside kept intermittently leaking out in small spurts.
Dohui turned off the water and, trembling in the sharply dropped temperature, stole a glance at Gong Haejin.
“Done washing?”
Dohui nodded up and down and answered just in time. “Yes.” It was barely more than a movement of his lips, but Gong Haejin didn’t press him on it. He handed Dohui a large towel, and Dohui used it to dry himself off.
When they returned to the room, Gong Haejin tossed something pale over. Dohui reached up and caught whatever had landed on his head.
“Put that on.”
Even at a glance it was an oversized t-shirt. Probably Gong Haejin’s. This was no time to be picky. The brutally cold indoor temperature was rapidly stripping away Dohui’s body heat.
Standing there wearing something as large as a blanket, Dohui watched as Gong Haejin gave a small nod.
