“So I’ll stop now.”
Inhan thought. In the end, it was he who had messed everything up.
He’d obsessed over Yuho and endlessly craved affection, constantly troubling him.
Once he realized it was love, that’s how it was. He’d cornered Yuho and even tried to forcibly keep him by his side. Only now could he see Yuho, who must have suffered from that twisted heart.
“Stop what?”
“Making you uncomfortable by being next to you, hyung.”
Inhan had deliberated for a long time. No matter how many times he repeated it to himself, it wasn’t a feeling he could easily quit. It was an emotion that would sprout again even if he cut it off and severed it.
But at the very least, he couldn’t let that feeling hurt Yuho.
“I’m saying I’ll really do what you want from now on.”
Yuho understood at once what Inhan was saying.
The words and actions he’d always recklessly committed came back as poison like this.
Even knowing that, Yuho made mistakes every time.
The reason Yuho had been able to push Inhan away with all his might was probably because he knew Inhan would catch him at any time.
The reason he’d been able to desperately run away was probably because he knew when he went back, Inhan would always be waiting there in that spot.
Even while harboring unrequited love for Inhan, Yuho had never been afraid of being abandoned by Inhan.
That’s why he’d poured out such harsh words so casually. Looking back, it was arrogance.
Why hadn’t he anticipated it?
Why had he overlooked the fact that Inhan could let go of him first?
“You don’t have to.”
So Yuho told Inhan.
“What?”
“You don’t have to do that now.”
Yuho decided to stop tormenting Inhan now.
“I don’t hate you anymore.”
No, he thought he really should give up on his feelings of liking Inhan now.
“So you don’t have to watch my mood anymore.”
Hearing Yuho’s words, Inhan was so surprised he lost his words for a moment. More than anything, he couldn’t understand why Yuho’s attitude had suddenly changed.
“Why?”
Inhan asked Yuho with a confused face.
“I was wrong. So let’s not avoid seeing each other or do things like that anymore.”
Yuho told Inhan with pitiful eyes.
At Yuho’s desperate words, Inhan hesitated with his answer and moved his lips.
When Inhan’s reaction wasn’t refreshing, as he’d expected him to immediately say he would do that, Yuho felt fear.
“Yeomin. Inhan. You need to go do the camera rehearsal now.”
Just then, Suhyung urged them while looking for Inhan, and Inhan had no choice but to get up from his seat.
“Let’s talk about this again later.”
Inhan told Yuho with a still bewildered face.
In the end, Yuho didn’t get to hear the positive answer he’d hoped for from Inhan.
When would that ‘later’ be? Yuho was afraid of what answer he would hear from Inhan. At the same time, he worried whether he could endure calmly without crying when he heard a rejection.
Yuho hurriedly stood up from his seat.
More than anything, he didn’t want to ruin Inhan’s mood on this good day.
“Raul. I’m going to leave first.”
“Huh? You’re leaving without watching the guys’ stage?”
“Yeah. I forgot I had a prior engagement.”
“Huh? Suddenly?”
Raulie asked in surprise, but Yuho escaped the waiting room as if fleeing.
As soon as Yuho left the broadcasting station, he immediately caught a taxi. And he took out his phone and called Seonchan right away.
“Seonchan. Are you busy? Do you have time today by any chance?”
Yuho’s hand holding the phone was trembling faintly.
Seonchan and Yuho ended up meeting in front of Yuho’s dorm only when evening time had arrived. The meeting place was coincidentally inside Seonchan’s car.
“Sorry. My schedule just ended.”
As soon as Seonchan saw Yuho climbing into the passenger seat, he apologized first. Yuho rather felt embarrassed and told Seonchan.
“No. I’m the one who suddenly asked to meet.”
Between the two sitting side by side in the car, an awkward silence momentarily hung. Yuho began worrying about what to say first and how to bring it up.
“I’m relieved.”
Just then, Seonchan let out a sigh of relief and said that. Yuho asked Seonchan in puzzlement.
“About what?”
“I was trembling, worried about what I’d do if you didn’t contact me after I acted all confident by myself.”
Seonchan told Yuho with a smile. Yuho hurriedly denied Seonchan’s words.
“Why would I do that? You’re such a good friend.”
As soon as Yuho spat out those words, he thought ‘oops.’ At the same time, he felt the need to correct his words.
“No. I mean……”
“It’s okay. I’m satisfied with being good friends with you for now. But I won’t be from now on.”
At Seonchan’s words that felt like a declaration of war, Yuho’s worries increased. He couldn’t recklessly use Seonchan just to try to forget Inhan.
In the end, Yuho brought out a confession he’d never told anyone to Seonchan.
“I…… have someone I like.”
“I know.”
At Seonchan’s answer that immediately followed, Yuho was greatly flustered.
“You know?”
“Yeah.”
“How?”
“It’s written on your face?”
Does he also know who it is? Yuho was curious, but he didn’t bother asking Seonchan.
At the same time, just imagining how terrible that previous meal had been for Seonchan made him feel guilty.
Yuho continued to confess his honest feelings.
“So I don’t have the emotional capacity to accept you yet.”
“I know that too. That’s why I’m waiting quietly.”
How does Seonchan know him this well? Yuho was curious but his heart still found it burdensome.
But even that seemed like something Seonchan knew.
“I told you before. You can give me an answer very slowly. Even if you torture me with hope in the meantime, I won’t resent you.”
Seonchan continued speaking while reassuring Yuho.
“Just meet me occasionally like before. Instead, just know the fact that I like you.”
Seonchan conveyed his sincerity to Yuho once more without any sign of hesitation. Yuho envied Seonchan’s confidence.
So Yuho asked Seonchan.
“Aren’t you scared?”
“Of what?”
“That I might reject you.”
“Why should I be scared of that?”
Seonchan asked Yuho back with a face that said he didn’t understand. Rather, Yuho couldn’t understand Seonchan’s reaction.
“Like you said, I might have never contacted you again.”
“Then I’d be very hurt. I might spend several nights with alcohol and tears, and end up sending sappy messages at dawn.”
Seonchan said that while laughing playfully. And then continued speaking with a serious face again.
“Still. I think it would be much scarier to remain as friends while pretending not to like you.”
At Seonchan’s words, Yuho was at a loss for words. Those words directly negated Yuho’s past five years.
To make an excuse, he and Inhan were on the same team. He couldn’t ruin everything with a hasty confession. Of course, the result was equally terrible.
“Yuho.”
Seonchan called Yuho in a gentle voice. And continued speaking.
“Liking someone isn’t a sin.”
Seonchan’s words were also words to himself. No matter how many diverse people there were in the entertainment industry, it wasn’t easy to openly reveal one’s orientation. Rather, because he was a celebrity, he had to hide it with lies even more because rumors were scary.
“So there’s no need to be scared.”
But even so, not being able to convey his feelings even to the person he liked was foolish. Seonchan knew that fact.
Hearing Seonchan’s words, Yuho felt a surge of emotion welling up.
He’d just liked someone with all his heart. Yuho had to endure five years with a guilty heart. As if it were a dirty emotion that shouldn’t be discovered by anyone, he was busy desperately hiding it.
Looking back, it was foolish. As Seonchan said, liking someone isn’t a sin.
Love isn’t supposed to hurt, so why had he tormented himself in such a painful way? He felt regretful.
In the end, tears fell drop by drop down Yuho’s cheeks.
“Why are you crying?”
Seonchan asked Yuho with a gentle face without showing any sign of surprise.
“……Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For saying that.”
For telling me I wasn’t wrong. Yuho was so grateful to Seonchan.
But Seonchan wanted to hear other words from Yuho more than thank you.
Yuho and Seonchan went to eat hamburgers for dinner, which they’d wanted to eat together so much.
“We’re finally eating this.”
Seonchan looked at the hamburger before him and told Yuho excitedly. Yuho answered feeling embarrassed.
“Right.”
“I feel good watching you eat well.”
Seonchan was satisfied just watching the hamburger go into Yuho’s mouth. Noticing Seonchan’s gaze, Yuho felt awkward and told Seonchan.
“You eat quickly too.”
“You know we have to go to the ocean too, right?”
Seonchan brought up their past promise that had almost been forgotten as a topic again. His eyes were full of anticipation. Looking at Seonchan like that, Yuho unknowingly smiled.
“Yeah. I know.”
Yuho answered while nodding. Before he knew it, the worries that had been weighing down his head had disappeared.
After finishing their meal, the two stopped by a cafe and parted ways only after 10 PM. Seonchan drove Yuho to the front of his dorm. Before getting out of the car, Yuho greeted Seonchan.
“Thanks for driving me. Get home safely.”
“I’ll contact you.”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll do it every day.”
“……Yeah.”
“I’ll do it morning, lunch, and evening.”
“Got it.”
“Sleep well.”
“Yeah. You too.”
Hearing Yuho’s answer, Seonchan smiled pleasantly. Yuho hesitated for a moment before finally getting out of the car.
Seonchan’s car didn’t move until Yuho got on the elevator and disappeared from view. Yuho waved his hand at Seonchan’s car until the very end.
When Yuho entered the dorm, the living room lights were brightly lit. Yuho wondered if someone was in the living room and looked around the living room once instead of going straight to his room. And he came face to face with Inhan, who was sitting on the living room sofa.
“Yuho hyung. You’re just getting back?”
Inhan spoke to Yuho while getting up from the sofa.
