“Yuho, are you staying longer?”
Taylor, who had arrived at the set first and was watching Yeomin’s shoot, suddenly asked Yuho a question.
Domyeong, who had finished all his individual shooting, wasn’t going to Inhan but was standing next to Taylor watching Yeomin. Even though it must have been his first time seeing Yeomin.
“Why? Are you leaving now, hyung?”
“Yeah. I’m leaving now, but what are you going to do?”
How long had it even been since they arrived at the filming site, yet Taylor was already talking about going back. Domyeong standing next to him kept watching Yeomin with an uninterested face. Looking closely, it was closer to spacing out.
“Whose car are you taking?”
At Yuho’s question, Taylor pointed at Domyeong with his thumb, making a face that said ‘why are you asking the obvious?’ Juseung had temporarily stepped away because of Raulie’s schedule.
Yuho suddenly thought he’d failed at interpreting Domyeong’s character. When did he act like someone who’d go just because someone called? Domyeong, who had been acting all expensive, was already volunteering to be a driver for multiple people. Especially why he would personally take Taylor, whom he claimed not to be close with, all the way to his studio seemed like a puzzle Yuho wouldn’t be able to solve for a while.
“I’ll stay longer.”
Yuho tactfully decided to excuse himself. He had an ominous premonition that at this rate he wouldn’t be able to leave until the shoot was over, but he didn’t feel like voluntarily jumping into an uncomfortable situation like the day before.
“You will?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, then.”
“Hyung. Get home safely. You too, sunbae-nim.”
“Yes. You too, Yuho hyung.”
“Yeomin. Hyung’s leaving.”
“What? Already?”
Yeomin asked, dumbfounded, but Taylor just turned around and waved his hand carelessly. Yeomin had no choice but to bow and greet Domyeong.
“Goodbye, Domyeong sunbae-nim. Thank you so much for today.”
“Yes.”
Domyeong also answered the greeting with a casual nod.
The shoot continued for a while. Juseung finished his business and quickly returned to the filming site, but seemed busy dealing with various matters here and there.
Yuho had declined Juseung’s offer to take him back to the dorm and was sitting in a waiting room chair memorizing song lyrics. To make excuses again, he didn’t want to trouble Juseung, the practice room schedule was fully booked, and he couldn’t concentrate well at home.
“Yuho hyung. Did you memorize all the lyrics?”
“No. This song and that song keep getting mixed up.”
Yuho answered Yeomin, who was sitting in the chair across from him, with a pained expression. Yeomin stopped by the waiting room to talk to Yuho whenever he had time between shoots. Suhyung and Juseung also frequently stopped by the waiting room, making a fuss about being cold before leaving.
“If it really doesn’t work, ask them to cut out one song.”
“No way. I have to do them all. I can do it.”
“That’s right. Our Yuho hyung can do it!”
Yeomin clenched both fists tightly and cheered for Yuho. Yuho thought Yeomin was cute and patted his head.
“What about Inhan?”
“He said he’s outside.”
“Why?”
“He said it’s too stuffy in here.”
The problem was Inhan. While several people went in and out of the waiting room dozens of times, Inhan hadn’t shown even a glimpse of himself in front of Yuho except when changing outfits. The reason was obvious.
“I should go wait in the car too.”
“Huh? Why?”
“I memorize better when I sing while memorizing.”
Yuho eventually got up from his seat and headed outside the waiting room.
Inhan was sitting in a corner of the filming site with his padding on, playing on his phone.
Yuho moved his steps outside the building entirely.
Outside, the sun had already set and it had gotten dark. Yuho headed toward Suhyung’s car parked nearby. He even regretted not going there earlier.
“Yuho hyung.”
Inhan’s voice came from behind Yuho.
Is this really something urgent enough to call out like this? Yuho deliberately acted calm and turned around. Inhan with a flushed expression was chasing after Yuho.
“Why?”
“Are you leaving?”
“No. I’m going to wait in the car.”
“Ah.”
Hearing Yuho’s answer, Inhan made a relieved expression. Then he turned around again and headed toward the filming site. Yuho, feeling a surge of emotion, stopped Inhan.
“Hey.”
“Yes? Hyung, why?”
Now that he’d called out to Inhan, Yuho had nothing to say. Should I ask why you’re avoiding me? It’s only natural that you’re avoiding me.
“It’s nothing.”
Yuho mumbled his words. And it was the moment he was about to turn around again.
“I was going to get the car keys.”
Inhan belatedly added. Yuho said to Inhan with a light sigh.
“He said it’s unlocked.”
“I was going to start the engine. The shoot’s ending soon, so I thought it’d be good to turn on the heater in advance.”
Inhan’s excuses were evolving day by day. Yuho was dumbfounded and said to Inhan.
“I’ll go get them.”
It was the moment Yuho moved his steps to pass by Inhan’s side.
“Hyung.”
This time Inhan stopped Yuho.
Yuho stopped walking at Inhan’s call and looked to the side. And he came face to face with Inhan’s sad-looking face.
“I know I shouldn’t be like this, but what do I do if I still keep wanting to see you, hyung?”
Even in moments when they couldn’t see each other, his heart was breaking, but someone who hadn’t experienced how much his heart churned every time they occasionally ran into each other like this wouldn’t know.
Yuho had to stand with his legs firmly planted so as not to be swept away by that tsunami-like feeling.
“Just endure it?”
“Yeah.”
“What if that still doesn’t work?”
“Meet someone else. Then you’ll be okay.”
If he wasn’t the answer, Inhan should find the answer in someone else, but Inhan kept asking questions.
Where should I resolve this loneliness? Each time, Yuho had no choice but to tell him directly.
Go to someone else and find the answer.
“Is that why you’re meeting other people too, hyung?”
“Other people who?”
“That actor.”
Yuho wondered what Inhan was talking about. Then he quickly realized that the actor Inhan was talking about was Seonchan. The only people around Yuho who could be referred to as actors were Seonchan and Soi, and since he hadn’t met Soi recently, it must be Seonchan. There’s no way it could be Domyeong.
“You mean Seonchan?”
“Yes.”
“Seonchan’s just my friend.”
He couldn’t understand why Seonchan’s name, whom he’d never even met, kept popping out of Inhan’s mouth. Ah. Yeomin also nagged me not to cheat. It must be about that level of feeling. A childish feeling of not wanting to lose a close friend.
“I’m jealous. That he can be by your side just by being your friend.”
About that level of feeling. That level of longing to stay by his side as a close younger brother.
“I’m not jealous.”
Yuho thought he was no longer envious of Inhan’s acquaintances. Because he realized that no matter how much time passed, he could never become friends with Inhan.
“I’m not jealous of your close hyungs or your friends at all.”
“I’m sure. When you find it terrible to even be next to me, hyung.”
Inhan said to Yuho with a hollow laugh. And he added bitterly.
“And anyway, you don’t need to be jealous of anyone in the first place, hyung. When you’re the one I cherish most.”
Yuho thought it was Inhan’s greed to say such things so casually while hoping he’d stay by his side. Inhan needed to know how much a single word like that made him collapse.
Yuho became choked up and challenged Inhan.
“When did I ask you to do that?”
Inhan kept his mouth firmly shut without answering.
“Don’t be good to me.”
“I’m already doing that.”
“What are you doing?”
At Yuho’s enraged reaction again, Inhan lowered his gaze. And he spat out an excuse in a deflated voice.
“I’m trying. This is the best I can do right now.”
Habits couldn’t be easily fixed overnight. Yuho was also hovering around Inhan making all sorts of excuses even though he could avoid him. And there was no way Inhan wouldn’t notice that fact.
“If I’m so hateful to you, hyung, why are you here?”
In the end, Yuho was caught by Inhan. He’d let Inhan notice that after desperately running away, he couldn’t go far and was returning on his own feet.
“You should be doing your best to run away. Why aren’t you even able to do that?”
“Don’t get the wrong idea. I’ve been doing that for a long time.”
Yuho tried to leave, angry. But Inhan’s following words prevented even that. He couldn’t just turn away.
“If you keep staying where I can see you like that…… I can’t let you go.”
Inhan said that with a face that looked like it would collapse at any moment.
“I know you smile when I’m not there, so I know I should let you go…… But, hyung. I really feel like I’ll die if I can’t see you.”
Inhan, with a face full of pain, earnestly poured out words that would seem like a love confession to a stranger.
“Can’t you just look at me once, hyung? I won’t ask you to like me, so can’t you just let me stay by your side? I’ll stay without even making a sound, just as if I’m nothing. Just occasionally, let me at least see your face.”
I don’t know who should be saying this to whom. Yuho felt like crying in disbelief.
“I want to die every time you’re like this.”
It was sincere. Even though it wasn’t love, every time Inhan made such raw confessions, Yuho felt exactly like dying. Inhan was startled at Yuho’s statement and stepped back.
“I was wrong.”
Inhan deeply bowed his head and bit his lower lip. In his head was only the thought that he’d said something unnecessary again and ruined everything.
“I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”
Inhan tried to hurriedly leave. If he kept staying with Yuho, he felt like he’d even get on his knees and beg. Even knowing it was useless, he felt like he’d trouble Yuho once again.
It was the moment Inhan turned his body toward the filming site.
“……Don’t go.”
Yuho eventually let out the words that had been piled up to his throat. Inhan stopped walking in surprise and turned back toward Yuho.
“Why do you keep trying to leave?”
I didn’t tell you to go. I’m not done talking yet.
Yuho suddenly crouched down on the ground and started crying out loud. Without any warning, tears began dripping down both of Yuho’s cheeks.
