“If it’s an omega, there’s pregnancy and all that… which is a bit much. Female alphas are way rarer than male omegas… and meeting a male alpha — ugh, it’s not like I’m gay.”
Doyun let out a playful “ugh” and glanced at Eunho, but Eunho’s expression was nothing but serious. Just as Doyun was starting to feel embarrassed for having said something stupid, the two of them arrived at Doyun’s place. Eunho watched intently as Doyun punched in the door code.
“…Doyun, if you ever presented as an alpha or omega.”
Eunho stepped inside the narrow room, took off his shoes, and reached over to gently take Doyun’s hand as he spoke. His gaze, which had been resting on Doyun’s fingertips, crept slowly upward — hand, wrist, arm. In the dark room, the lights not yet on, their eyes met.
“……”
“Being with another guy would feel natural.”
It was a low voice, with a certain warmth to it. Eunho leaned his head close to Doyun’s ear and spoke as if whispering an intimate secret. Whether it was the breath grazing his nape, Doyun felt a ripple of goosebumps — and pulled his hand free, taking a step back from Eunho.
“Still though, I’m not sure about that. Putting it… in somewhere — that feels like… a no.”
“Why do you keep assuming you’d present as an alpha and be the one doing the putting?”
“Well obviously, right? Then who’s putting it in me? That’s genuinely… nauseating.”
Doyun shrugged his shoulders and scratched at one arm where the goosebumps had risen, answering bluntly. He’d never had much interest in dating, but that didn’t mean he had no sexual desire at all — so of course he’d thought about sex before.
He’d watched gay porn exactly once, got scared, and turned it off. The idea of presenting as an omega and having sex with a male alpha was simply not within the realm of what Doyun could accept.
“…You find even imagining it nauseating?”
At Eunho’s question, Doyun gave a firm, vigorous nod.
“Yeah, completely.”
Hearing that answer, Eunho let out a small laugh. A brief laugh that looked genuinely amused. Eunho rubbed his face with his palm. When his face reappeared, a faint smile still lingered on it.
“I find it very easy to imagine, personally. Being inside you.”
Doyun’s jaw dropped. It was one of those moments where being too stunned to speak became a visceral experience. He’d heard it with both ears and still couldn’t process what had just been said.
“Are you insane? Your imagination is seriously messed up.”
Doyun’s face turned red enough to look like it might burst, and out came that prickly, spoiling-for-a-fight tone of his. Doyun, who had absolutely no immunity to sexual jokes, could not recover his composure.
“I haven’t completely lost it yet. I’m holding on with everything I’ve got.”
Eunho raised one eyebrow slightly and let it drop, answering with a smile. This guy is smiling? Doyun’s expression crumpled mercilessly.
“If you haven’t completely lost it then what — hey, what — what are you even —”
“It’s because you act like you have absolutely no idea about any of this. Think of it as a kind of heads-up.”
Too flustered to get a coherent sentence out, Doyun kept sputtering incoherently. Eunho, watching him, tucked away his smile and spoke.
“……”
“I’m just letting you know that an alpha can have thoughts like these. It’s a natural act for me — but if you keep saying you find it nauseating… that’s a little sad, isn’t it.”
Eunho’s downcast eyes made him look as though he were lost in sorrow. But that sad expression lasted only a moment. Eunho shrugged his shoulders again and gave Doyun a light pat. He had landed a devastating blow out of nowhere, left Doyun reeling inside, and then smoothly stepped back — infuriatingly casual about the whole thing. Doyun drew in a deep breath and, summoning every ounce of patience he had, spoke as calmly as he could.
“If you said that out of spite because I said it was nauseating… I’ll let it go.”
“…Right. Thanks.”
Eunho answered with a face that looked absolutely nothing like gratitude.
“But your imagination is out of control. What kind of alpha looks at me and thinks something like that.”
“That’s just how people are. When stimulation keeps building up, you get desensitized — and then the imagination starts reaching further. If you can do it with a male omega, there’s no reason a beta would be off the table either… or so they say.”
Eunho let out a short sigh and ended the sentence somewhat unnaturally. Whether it was the subject matter, Eunho’s serious voice and deep gaze felt like too much to bear. Doyun smacked Eunho’s hand away from where it had been lingering on his shoulder with a sharp slap, and fixed him with a genuinely intimidating glare.
“…So setting aside the alpha angle — what were you actually trying to say to me? Go ahead and talk some more nonsense, I dare you.”
“I wonder.”
Doyun opened his eyes wide and warned him in a sharp voice, but Eunho remained perfectly composed. That composure irritated Doyun even further. Even between friends, there were boundaries — things you could and couldn’t say.
“I wonder, what. Say it.”
Even as Doyun kept swatting away Eunho’s hand every time it reached for his shoulder or tried to take his hand again, Eunho was relentless. Eunho’s wandering hand found Doyun’s hair and thoroughly messed it up. When Doyun swatted that hand away too with an annoyed noise, Eunho smiled and came out with the kind of thing only a parent would say.
“Things I want to say to you? Plenty. This alley looks sketchy so don’t wander around too late at night. Drink plenty of water and make sure to eat properly. Don’t skip meals and eat from the convenience store out of laziness — keep up with fruit too. And above all, watch out for strange alphas morning and night. Every alpha except me is an animal.”
“Watch out? Can you not see this strapping beta right in front of you? Have you had too much to drink? Stop talking nonsense and just go to sleep.”
Eunho deliberately repeated the word strapping that Doyun had used and laughed under his breath. Doyun felt all the fight drain out of him at that. He didn’t even have the energy to keep arguing.
An alpha can have thoughts like these. He mentally withdrew the high opinion he’d held of Eunho — for never lording his alpha status over others the way other alphas did, for never acting like he was something special.
Doyun turned away and picked up his indoor clothes. He couldn’t sleep in his outdoor clothes, so he had to change into something comfortable. Normally he’d just peel off his top and change without a second thought — but after what Eunho had said, “I find it very easy to imagine. Being inside you,” he hesitated to show any bare skin in front of him. Doyun stood there for a moment, t-shirt clutched in his fist, deliberating.
Then he changed his mind.
No, why should I care. Caring about it makes it even weirder. With that self-talk, he peeled off his pants and hoodie in quick succession and changed fast. Eunho seemed to be changing too — behind him came the soft sound of clothes dropping to the floor. It was the first time he’d ever regretted how small the room was. When the sound of fabric rustling had gone quiet, Doyun finally turned around.
Standing in the middle of the room, Eunho was wearing the shimmery elephant t-shirt. All the tension that had been building drained away at once, and a helpless laugh escaped him.
“Honestly — you know that t-shirt looks absolutely ridiculous on you, right?”
Doyun finally said out loud what he’d been thinking all day long. Eunho nodded in agreement and laughed along. The taut, strained atmosphere that had felt like it could tip into an argument at any moment had completely vanished.
“Doyun.”
Eunho lay down beside Doyun, who had flopped flat onto the mattress, and called his name.
“What.”
Doyun answered in a voice still tinged with sulkiness. Eunho smiled and called him again.
“My strapping Ddoyun.”
“Ugh, what.”
When Doyun answered in a noticeably softer voice, a low laugh slipped out from Eunho.
“Good night.”
Eunho said goodnight in a slightly husky voice. Good night as an evening farewell was a habit of Eunho’s. Back in high school, since they were always at cram school or the study café late at night before heading home, it was natural that parting words were “good night” or “sweet dreams.” After starting university, they often called each other right before bed. They’d talk about what they did that day, when they could grab a quick moment to see each other tomorrow — small, mundane things. And Eunho always ended the call with “good night.”
“Yeah. Hyung’s going to sleep now.”
He didn’t think sleep would come easily, but Doyun shut his eyes anyway. Maybe it was the loss of one of his senses — but Doyun became aware of a scent he hadn’t noticed until now.
Eunho’s claim that he didn’t use scented products had to be a lie. There was no other explanation for why such an overwhelming sweetness washed over him every time Eunho shifted.
“I wasn’t joking. Don’t talk to other alphas.”
Doyun ignored that last remark entirely and squeezed his eyes shut.
