Hyung, who had wailed so much when announcing his marriage, walked around grinning like a madman right after that. If I said “Hyung, what’s wrong?” he’d suddenly exclaim,
“My pretty Winter… My beautiful Winter…! I can’t believe she’s becoming my bride!”
Like that, out of nowhere.
I’d never properly seen hyung’s girlfriend. I’d only accidentally seen her as the background on hyung’s phone or laptop. Though you can’t completely trust how someone looks in photos in the 21st century, I was certain hyung’s girlfriend was definitely a tremendous beauty. That’s because she was Dave’s noona.
“Hyung, do your girlfriend and her brother look alike a lot?”
“So much. Winter is like a female version of Evans, and that younger brother is a male version of Evans.”
“……I see.”
A female version of Dave. She must be a beauty with an imposing physique. That’s what I thought. But hyung’s girlfriend, Winter Evans, who I actually saw—
“Oh my, you’re July! It’s been such a long time since I saw you except for once when you were little! You’ve changed so much!”
—was very different from what I had imagined. Unlike Dave with his blonde hair and blue eyes, she had black hair and brown eyes. Rather than a Western beauty with bold features…
Does she look Asian?
With flat eyelids, delicate features, and a small build, she didn’t seem like someone who inherited 100% the same blood as Dave. Is there an Asian among distant ancestors? Dave said his dad was a British white person, and his mom was a white person from Lithuania, right?
Having just returned from school, I looked at hyung with a bewildered face. Hyung was bewitched by his girlfriend, grinning foolishly and acting smitten. Anyway, doting tendencies don’t go anywhere.
“Winter, it’s been a really long time since you came to our house, right? Right?”
“Yeah, that’s right. I came a few times in high school and was too busy to have a reason to come.”
“Nothing’s changed at all. It’s just the same!”
“Yeah, it really is the same except for July growing up a lot!”
Hearts seemed to be floating pop pop pop between hyung and Winter. The system must have felt the same way, as it displayed lots of [♡] around hyung and Winter. While I was momentarily mesmerized by that cartoonish scene, Winter clapped her hands.
“Ah, come to think of it! July! I heard you and our Dave are close?”
“……Uh, we’re acquaintances who greet each other when we pass by.”
At the two people’s eyes suddenly turning toward me, I blinked in surprise and answered awkwardly. There was a considerable discrepancy in saying Dave and I were close. But I couldn’t grimace saying ‘No! We’re absolutely not close!’ in front of his noona. And as the saying goes, we’ll soon be family anyway.
“When I told Dave that August’s younger brother is July, he was so surprised! The two of you met when you were little, but he must not remember.”
“July, no, I… met Dave when we were little?”
Winter’s words as she laughed hoho while holding a coffee cup were quite surprising. July met Dave before? Winter laughed hahaha seeing me with wide-open eyes, and hyung, who had only been looking at his girlfriend, also laughed hihihi.
“Yeah! When was it? August, there was a time when your parents were busy and there was no one to watch July, so we brought him on our date.”
“Yeah, that’s right. Winter, you brought Dave along too since he was the same age to play together. So the two of them played together at the playground!”
“They were playing house, and Dave told July to marry him!”
“Right! Right! They held hands tightly saying they’d marry each other and threw a tantrum!”
“…….”
I didn’t want to interrupt the two people’s distant and tender memories. But Dave and July promising marriage while holding hands tightly? At that disparate and surprising scene, I unconsciously scrunched up my face.
“Oh my, July, why do you look like that?”
“Ah, July probably has someone he likes… Ah, this is a secret. Really a secret. Winter!”
Hyung was rambling on with a benevolent expression when he suddenly got startled and covered his own mouth. And he entreated his girlfriend several times, but what good would it do to belatedly call already spoken words a secret? And first of all…
“He and I aren’t in that kind of relationship!”
It was obvious who that ‘person he likes’ referred to. Our family’s official boyfriend of mine, Joel Gomez, right? Even though I explained repeatedly that he’s absolutely not my boyfriend, not at all, Mom and Dad and hyung laughed hohoho and whispered among themselves. Though I am planning to go on a date with that Joel! Really, no! When I firmly frowned, Winter laughed puhup!
“Ah, sorry. July. I remembered when you were little. That such a small kid has grown up before I knew it, and has someone he likes, and makes such faces…”
“He’s really not someone I like. I don’t have anyone!”
“Ah, was it a secret? Okay, shh, shh!”
“…….”
Like father, like son, as they say. Winter, like hyung, had absolutely no intention of listening to me. A sigh came out but I didn’t give up.
“Hyung, really. It’s not even a secret. Because! I don’t like him!”
“I got it. I got it. I’ll believe you.”
Though dubious, hyung finally listened to my words somewhat as if telling me to calm down now, so I nodded. Then after a long while, I realized I’d naturally referred to a ‘boy’ in expressions like ‘the one I like’ or ‘him.’ I glared at hyung and asked in Korean.
「Hyung, did you tell your girlfriend? That I’m gay?」
「Me? No?」
「…….」
The way he denied it was very suspicious. When I kept shooting glares without letting up the intensity in my eyes, hyung raised both hands.
「I really never told her! I just consulted about worries a few times! About how I should appropriately react if July, you seem to be gay and come out! No, Winter is wise and smart!」
「…….」
「Married couples shouldn’t have secrets between them!」
「So you sold me out to maintain your relationship?」
「July, no! Really no! How precious do you think you are to hyung, huh?」
「Forget it. There’s even a saying about married daughters being outsiders. Once hyung gets married, you’re a stranger.」
「How can you think of becoming a stranger to hyung, July! Julyyyy!」
Leaving behind hyung desperately calling for me from behind, I climbed the stairs thump, bang, thump, bang! It occurred to me that hyung would be anxious, but right now I was a bit angry. Thud! I roughly threw my bag down and was changing clothes when hyung, unable to endure even that short time, came up and carefully knocked knock, knock.
“July? July! Hyung is sorry, okay?”
“……Come in.”
I put my clothes back on after taking them halfway off and opened the door. Then hyung stood outside fidgeting. It was truly strange and funny. That hyung who always looked at me coldly and callously and this hyung really look exactly the same, yet this hyung loves and cherishes me very much. Thinking that, my anger quickly subsided.
“I really never talked about you coming out. When we met together, I was talking about you and then I cried… so Winter figured it out. You know! Our Winter is very perceptive and smart and wise! But that’s not wrong!”
Even in the midst of this, hyung was amazing, attaching tremendous flowery words to his girlfriend. Does he like that noona that much?
“Do you like that noona that much?”
“Of course I like her! I love her!”
Hyung blushed all the way to the tips of his ears after bringing up the word ‘love’ himself. That sight was so funny I couldn’t help but laugh pup!
“How do you know you love her?”
“I feel good when we’re together, my heart beats like crazy, and even her flaws are lovely. Winter has a burn scar on her ankle from when she was very young, and she hates it so she wears long pants or skirts to cover it. But I find even that so cute and endearing. That aspect seems to make Winter more beautiful.”
“…….”
Hyung spoke distantly as if dreaming while looking at empty space. I thought he’d really fallen hard. Even though they’ve been dating for over 10 years since high school until now, he still loves her so intensely it blazes hotly.
“So you’re happy thinking about getting married?”
“Of course I’m happy! I’m so excited thinking about spending my whole life with Winter.”
“Are you that happy about not living in the same house with me anymore?”
“No, July! That’s not what I mean…!”
When I deliberately acted sulky, hyung panicking and trying to smooth things over was too funny. It was really funny, but I didn’t dislike it. The problem was I liked it too much.
“When hyung gets married, can I visit your house often?”
“Of course!”
Hyung hesitated then lightly patted my head. It was really strange. He really looks exactly like my real hyung, yet how can this hyung be as kind and gentle as I’ve dreamed of all along, no, even more than that?
“Hyung, congratulations on getting married.”
“Yeah, thanks. July.”
For some reason feeling my eyelids grow hot, I hugged hyung and mumbled. Hyung burst out laughing pahaha.
“I’m really sad about hyung getting married, but I’ll endure it.”
“Okay. Okay.”
“You have to cherish me forever… After you have nieces and nephews, you can’t say I’m not cute.”
There was no way I’d be in this place for life. So even if hyung with children neglected his much younger sibling, it wasn’t something that concerned me. Still, while I’m in this place, I wanted to act like someone who would stay here until death. I wanted to become not ‘Baek Woogeon’ of the Republic of Korea, but ‘July Baek’ who receives the love of the whole family.
Baek Woogeon was too lonely. He was always upset because of family, and though he’d resigned himself, like a fool he was repeatedly disappointed in his family and hurt by their words and actions. Yet to obtain even a scrap of their affection, to be recognized, he really tried diligently. But ultimately he failed. He became a failure who didn’t get into Korea University Medical School.
But ‘July Baek’ was different. Even if he wore strange outfits being into EMO, there was a family who acknowledged him, and even when he came out as gay, there was a family who accepted him with love.
“Hyung, really, truly… congratulations so much on getting married.”
Hyung will really become a good father. He’ll be an excellent husband too. The fact that this very kind and gentle person is leaving this house to start a new family felt truly regretful and sad while also being overwhelming. The children hyung will have will never be lonely or distressed like ‘Baek Woogeon.’
So I had to work even harder to make this world continue. Even if I must leave this place, so that everyone who remains can all be happy in this world, I will protect this place.
Whether it’s a world inside a drama or fake, such things weren’t important. This warm body temperature and love and affection—these were definitely real.
