“Yes, I knew from the beginning.”
He couldn’t manage his expression at all. For a moment, he even had such a calculating thought that he wished he would at least lie. Evernight crossed one leg over the other and cast his gaze out the window. Unlike Tildyen Rock, Eos Castle was bright even in the middle of the night. The green leaves of trees that weren’t bare swayed in the warm wind. Evernight spoke bluntly with an expression that showed he found this utterly boring.
“Your father sold you off using that as leverage. There’s no reason to seat a man as lady of the house otherwise.”
His tone suggested, ‘You didn’t even know that?’ But what ordinary man could think of himself as capable of pregnancy? Anya was the same. The sudden marriage and journey to a strange land. All the events that befell him were only frightening and confusing to the naive him. He had only thought there was some sort of contract between the Emperor and Tildyen behind that marriage, but he couldn’t even dare to guess it was because of his constitution.
Moreover, that night was Anya’s first time. It was a relationship forcibly formed when he knew nothing, but Evernight was Anya’s first man.
The half-wit prince who had lived practically confined to the detached palace had never dared to harbor feelings for anyone. Everything was a first for him…
‘Why on earth do I feel so wronged and resentful?’
Moreover, though it was an unavoidable situation, the two had relations several times even in the cave beyond the wall. Yet Evernight hadn’t mentioned any hint of it to Anya. Anya firmly rubbed his eyes and dropped his head with a thud.
“Then… why won’t you ha-have an heir from me, my lord? You said that I… came to Tildyen because I can… become pregnant…”
Anya tried hard to endure this situation resolutely.
‘Am I… so angry because I think he deceived and humiliated me, or…’
However, his trembling voice still overflowed with lingering attachment to his relationship with Evernight that he couldn’t let go.
“Kid, I think you’re misunderstanding something, but the fucking we did…”
Ha. Evernight let out a hollow laugh and ran his hand through his hair, as if finding it absurd that he was having this conversation with a clueless kid so much younger.
“It was unavoidable. Because the situation went to absolute shit.”
‘Or is it… because even after having relations with me, he firmly concluded there would never be a child between us?’
His indecipherable emotions overflowed onto that answer. His pale eyelashes trembled above his tightly closed eyes.
“What if I… get pre-pregnant?”
Really, this is the worst. Anya had no choice but to helplessly throw himself into the waves of emotions he was feeling for the first time. If he didn’t go this far, it felt like he would never see Evernight again.
“……”
A quiet silence flowed between the two for a moment. Outside, nothing could be heard except the owl’s call quietly announcing the night and the sound of carriage wheels running over the ground. Anya vacantly stared at Evernight’s red lips. Ever since some point, his heart had been stirring whenever he met those blue eyes.
“Pregnant?”
Evernight’s expression darkened rapidly. He let out a scoffing laugh that leaked air and sent Anya a cold glare.
‘Ah…’
Anya soon realized he had harbored vain hopes. But it was already too late. Once words are spoken, they can never be taken back.
“Just try saying that shit again.”
Evernight expressed quiet fury like someone who had heard an enormous insult. He hadn’t expected a good reaction from the start, but he didn’t know he would look at him with such loathing eyes. Maneregia, where Eos Castle was located, was clearly a region warm all year round, yet Anya suddenly felt a chill.
“There won’t be a second time sleeping with you. So stop worrying about useless things and don’t cause trouble.”
“……”
“Answer me.”
“…Yes.”
Let’s not dare feel disappointment or betrayal toward him. There’s no need to be shocked either. Anya clenched his fists and silently nodded. Evernight, as if he had nothing more to say, cast his sharp gaze out the window again.
‘Well done.’
The praise he had given him a few days ago felt like a dream.
Right, being recognized by him as a knight rather than as a spouse. Just that alone would make my life pretty decent. Anya endlessly comforted himself. He could hear Dragcals roaring in his head as if it were on fire, but Anya leaned against the carriage wall and closed his eyes.
The carriage quickly arrived at the eastern detached palace. Buppu, who served as the chamberlain of the eastern detached palace, was already at the castle and opened the carriage door, then gulped at the sight of the cold Tildyen couple. Just when they left Vudeo Hall earlier, the young lady of the house had been blushing like an apple, sparkling with curiosity, but now his complexion was deathly pale, no different from a dying corpse.
“My lady. The bedroom has been completely prepared.”
Buppu deliberately announced loudly.
“You’ve worked hard. I’ll use a different room.”
But the response that came back was only cold. Though it wasn’t uncommon for noble couples to use separate bedrooms, acting so coldly and using different bedrooms made him worry whether they’d had a quarrel. Since Eos Castle had many invisible ears and eyes, this kind of matter that was easy to become gossip needed to be especially careful.
“I’ll go ahead then.”
Buppu hastily bowed to Evernight. It seemed like words spoken to Buppu, but in reality, they were no different from words directed at Anya, who sat crumpled in a corner of the carriage.
“My lady, are you all right?”
Buppu anxiously looked after Anya. Evernight entered the detached palace without looking back. Soon Anya emerged from the darkness. His eyes seemed somehow moist. Buppu deliberately pretended not to notice. Pretending not to see one’s master’s tears even if one saw them was a virtue that a servant should have.
“Yes… Please guide me to my room.”
As Buppu guided Anya to the bedroom, he spread out various rumors he’d collected at Eos Castle, but Anya’s mind seemed to be elsewhere.
“I’ll… do the tidying myself.”
Inside the bedroom, maids were waiting to attend to Anya’s clothing. At Anya’s powerless words, Buppu couldn’t press further and dismissed the maids.
“Have a comfortable night. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
After Buppu and the maids gave their greetings, they withdrew with quick steps. Left alone in the room, Anya slid down along the wall as soon as the door closed. Clearly his life had improved incomparably to before, yet he kept growing greedy. Anya looked at the Haebing standing neatly against one side of the wall.
“……”
Unable to hold back any longer, a single tear flowed down his jawline.
And at the same time, his lower abdomen began to ache with a sharp pain.
* * *
Anya slept in really late for the first time in a long while. Since Eos Castle had no need to hang thick curtains for the purpose of keeping warm, the warm sunlight from outside poured directly onto the bed.
‘Your Grace. My lady hasn’t woken yet. Shall I wake him?’
‘No. Leave him be.’
‘Safe travels.’
The murmuring voices of people could be heard outside the bedroom. They were probably seeing off Evernight, who was attending the Seven Dukes’ Council this morning. Normally he should have gone out early to see him off, but Anya didn’t want to. He didn’t want to see him for the time being.
‘What does it matter? Lord Evernight won’t care anyway…’
Right. Even this sense of loss now was all his own to bear. Evernight had never once opened his heart to him from the start. It was no different from a foolish half-wit not knowing his place and misunderstanding, then getting hurt alone belatedly. Anya pulled the sheets over his head.
How much time had passed?
Knock knock.
Anya, who had been lingering in bed, forced his eyes open at the knocking sound.
“My lady. I’ll bring up lunch.”
Buppu announced from outside the bedroom. Anya was about to refuse but felt sorry for him who would have been bustling about outside all day, so he eventually got up and opened the door.
“My lady!”
Buppu brightened noticeably and entered carrying a large silver tray. Behind him, maids followed carrying washing water and clothing.
“The palace cook is an old friend of mine, so I asked for this and that.”
Buppu showed a proud smile as he endlessly moved dishes onto the bedroom’s simple dining table.
“Above all, this lobster that only comes from the Arman Sea is exquisite.”
When he opened the lid of the round silver tray placed in the very center of the table, a large, beautifully grilled lobster had only its meat carefully picked out and was served together with fragrant lemon. It was a rare dish that made one’s mouth water. But for some reason, as soon as the food’s aroma rose, Anya suddenly felt tremendous nausea.
“Urgh!”
Anya hastily covered his mouth and rushed outside.
“My lady!”
Buppu and the maid followed Anya in shock. Anya hurriedly waved his hand at them, ordering them not to follow. Because he felt indescribable revulsion the moment he saw the food, Anya knelt in the courtyard and threw up.
“Check that food immediately to see if there’s poison!”
Buppu shouted in an agitated tone. The maids quickly stuck silver utensils into the food with flustered faces, but the silverware that should naturally turn black if there was poison remained intact.
“Just in case, collect the food so I can examine it myself! You all, quickly bring cloths to wipe with!”
Are you all right, my lady? After Buppu quickly gave orders to the maids, he looked after Anya. Having thrown up, Anya was prostrate, exhaling rough breaths.
“Buppu… I’m fi-fine, so don’t do things like poison testing.”
Anya wiped his mouth and soon got up from his spot. Though his face was flushed red physiologically, he somehow seemed detached.
“My lady…”
“Don’t tell anyone… about this. Even if it’s Lo-Lord Evernight.”
