He came out to the veranda wearing a thin cardigan.
“Hyung.”
“If you finished the call, come inside. What are you doing looking so pitiful?”
Doha approached with a grumbling tone and stood next to the railing. Sehyun shrugged as if it was nothing.
“Just. Getting some air.”
“What air, you were just letting out deep sighs.”
At Doha’s words hitting the mark, Sehyun’s mouth closed. Doha looked up at the night sky, then spoke as if spitting it out.
“Is it hard?”
Doha asked. Then Sehyun was a little flustered. Suddenly?
“Why are you suddenly asking that?”
“Just. Lately when I look at you, you’re like a kid living with a time bomb.”
“Me?”
“Yeah. You do everything alone, playing both the drum and the janggu, acting like you’re carrying all the burdens of the world.”
Doha turned his head to look straight at Sehyun.
“I know you’re capable, but that doesn’t make you a god.”
“……”
“Don’t feel pressured that you have to solve everything yourself. And don’t act like the team will collapse without you.”
Doha’s finger pointed toward the inside of the living room. Through the glass window, they could see Yunbeom, Haram, and Eden throwing snacks at each other, catching them in their mouths and giggling.
“Look over there. Those guys are way tougher than you think. They won’t collapse easily.”
Sehyun’s gaze reached the members. Before regression, they had crumbled miserably. Weak, foolish, people who seemed like they’d break if not protected. But now, beyond the glass window, they looked much more lively and strong than Sehyun’s memories.
“So take the weight off your shoulders a bit.”
Doha’s voice continued gently. Sehyun was momentarily at a loss for words. He never could have imagined even in his dreams that he’d suddenly hear such words from Doha.
“Why are you suddenly saying that to me?”
“I don’t know. Me neither. Maybe I’m feeling the autumn blues.”
Doha put his arm on the terrace railing and looked up at the black sky. His hair swayed gently in the wind.
“You keep getting sensitive because you’re struggling. That’s why you only pick fights with me.”
The incident at the parking lot came to mind.
“Just think of it as me fulfilling my leader quota.”
“You don’t even like the leader armband.”
Sehyun answered curtly and stood side by side next to Doha. He looked up at the same sky Doha was watching. It was all black. A night without a single star visible.
It was strange. These were words he’d never thought of even once after regressing. He’d always been filled with tense pressure that he had to protect the group. He thought it was natural to grind himself down to prevent the hell that could explode at any moment. So he could never become weak…
But Doha hyung, who knew nothing, was tapping on the solid wall so easily.
Ah, this makes me want to act spoiled.
A strange thought occurred to him.
“But I think I was really cool just now.”
At the frivolous joke, Sehyun ended up laughing without resistance. This hyung really has a strange talent.
Sehyun’s heart became comfortable as if he’d never been depressed. It was truly strange.
“Hey, Sehyun-ah.”
“What?”
“Do you happen to know about stocks?”
“Suddenly?”
“If you think of it occasionally, make sure to tell me.”
“What kind of nonsense is this? So out of the blue.”
Doha placed his hand on Sehyun’s shoulder. Doha, who seemed like he’d say something more, just patted him. The spot where his hand touched felt strangely hot.
“You’re a weird hyung. Really.”
“Let’s go in quickly. It’s cold.”
Doha shivered. Doha, who had been stepping on the tiles without even wearing veranda slippers, hunched his body. Then he quickly turned around and opened the veranda door.
He left as swiftly as he’d come. Watching that, Sehyun couldn’t shake the thought of what exactly that hyung was.
“That hyung too really… has he changed?”
Strangely, he felt like he could rely on him. He was someone he absolutely shouldn’t be able to feel such emotions toward.
Sehyun’s eyes wavered. Strangely, the spot where Doha’s hand had touched kept bothering him. Suddenly the fantasy he’d had in the bathroom flashed by. No, it expanded and filled his head in billowing clouds.
The tips of Sehyun’s ears turned red.
“…You’re making me overly motivated.”
Muttering incomprehensible words, Sehyun also moved to follow Doha.
* * *
At dawn after the noisy drinking session ended and everyone was asleep, Sehyun came back from the bathroom with staggering steps. He’d made excuses about snacks, but in the end, after a few cans of beer went in, he got pleasantly tipsy.
Trudge trudge. Sehyun, who had passed through the dark hallway and entered a room, threw his body onto the bed without hesitation.
Plop-.
A warm and cozy blanket. The familiar scent of fabric softener. Sehyun burrowed into that coziness and closed his eyes. His sleeping habits weren’t originally bad, but today in particular he wanted to hug something next to him. It didn’t matter whether it was a pillow, a body pillow, or a person. Sehyun instinctively pulled the warmth next to him into his embrace.
It’s warm. Soft. It smelled pleasant.
“Mmm…”
Sehyun rubbed his face against that warmth and fell into a deep sleep. Not knowing that his legs, which had moved carelessly thinking of his old room, had led him not to his own bed but somewhere else.
* * *
‘…Can’t breathe.’
Doha woke up to the heavy pressure weighing down on his chest. Sleep paralysis?
Doha groaned and lifted his heavy eyelids. A silhouette dimly visible in the darkness. A black-haired head burying its face in his chest.
“…?”
It was familiar. A far too familiar back of the head.
‘Lim Sehyun?’
Doha stared down at Sehyun in a daze. This bastard, why is he here? And why is he trapping me so I can’t move at all?
“Hey…”
Doha squirmed to try to push Sehyun away. Then Sehyun made a groaning sound of “mmm” and hugged Doha even tighter. Hot breath touched his nape, raising goosebumps.
He tapped Sehyun’s shoulder. Only then did Sehyun react. The closed eyelashes trembled, then slowly lifted.
Was it because his eyes had adjusted to the darkness? Each other’s pupils were clearly visible.
“……”
“……”
The two didn’t say anything and just stared at each other intently. Silence. In the stillness where even breathing could be heard loudly, their gazes intertwined.
Fuck, what is this?
Perhaps because he was half-asleep or because of the alcohol, Lim Sehyun’s eyes were languidly unfocused. Doha wasn’t much different.
Blink. Blink.
Doha blinked several times. Was this a dream? Or reality? He couldn’t grasp the situation because he was half-asleep.
After a long silence, Doha came to his senses and tried to push Sehyun away.
“Move, you’re heavy…”
Grab.
But at that moment, Sehyun snatched Doha’s wrist. It was a strong grip. Doha looked at Sehyun with surprised eyes.
“Hyung.”
Sehyun called in a cracked voice. It was truly a raw voice from just waking up.
“What, what… why?”
“Can I… check just one thing?”
“Now? Check what…”
He could feel a pounding pulse through the hot skin. What is this? A heartbeat?
Doha’s words couldn’t continue to the end. Because Sehyun raised his upper body and covered Doha’s lips.
A soft and hot sensation. Doha’s eyes widened. His thought process stopped. What kind of situation is this right now?
For a moment, Doha thought this might really be a dream. Because if not, this crazy situation wouldn’t make sense.
Because of Lim Sehyun’s face so close right in front of him, his neatly settled eyelashes filled his vision. Lim Sehyun’s lips were overlapping with his lips. It was a stiff kiss without movement. But that was only for a moment.
Soon Sehyun, as if he’d made some decision, cupped the back of Doha’s neck and locked lips deeply.
“Mmph…!”
Startled, Doha tried to push Sehyun hard, but Sehyun didn’t give him any space. Through the lips that opened inadvertently, a hot tongue burrowed in. The squelchy soft tongue that entangled rudely invaded his mouth.
‘Crazy…!’
He reached out his hand, but because the distance was too close, he couldn’t put strength into it. Rather, he got swept up in Sehyun’s pace and ended up parting his lips without realizing it.
Smack, smooch. Explicit friction sounds filled the quiet room. A tongue as fierce as Lim Sehyun’s personality traced his teeth, bound his tongue, and stirred inside his mouth. Hot breath escaped between their teeth and saliva spread around their lips. It was chaotic. Suffocating. And yet he could feel the sensation gradually becoming familiar.
Slurp, sluuurp-. At the end of the kiss that continued for a while, Sehyun slowly pulled his lips away.
Lips glistening with saliva. Faintly flushed cheeks. And a chest rising and falling roughly.
Sehyun slowly opened his eyes that had been closed. Doha’s confused face filled his pupils.
Sehyun smiled. It was a languid smile that looked dangerous somehow.
“I think… it’s possible after all.”
Fuck, what is…
