A kind of innocence that didn’t suit the thin ice of not knowing when he’d be cut as a trainee. Everyone is desperate, but hiding that at such a young age couldn’t have been easy.
Sehyun secretly envied that about Doha.
At least the world Sehyun lived in wasn’t one where effort alone was the answer. ‘Born with it.’ Those words were absolute here. It seemed very unfair, but as you live in the world, you come to realize that it’s not necessarily a good thing either.
Certainly Baek Doha had his shortcomings too. For example…… yes, like the troublesome romantic relationships brought on by his universal love.
Before regressing, he’d thought Baek Doha was someone full of love, but thinking about it now, wasn’t it rather the opposite?
A person who needed love too much. So he chose a profession where he’d be loved, and struggled endlessly to fill that hunger called affection.
Hyung’s death was definitely because of that cruel love.
“Hyung.”
Sehyun, who had taken a sip of water, called out to the flustered Doha. Doha turned his head sharply. His hair, soaked with sweat, swayed.
“You got it wrong again there. Start with your left foot.”
“Ugh.”
Doha stomped his feet and drew out the movement again. Watching him, it seemed he was improving quickly for someone starting from zero. Even though his memory was erased, was his sense still alive?
“You’re doing well. My hyung.”
There was another peculiarity in his change. His personality had completely changed. The past Baek Doha seemed to get along with everyone on the surface, but thoroughly guarded his boundaries and let no one inside.
The moment you felt close, there was a distance that made you feel far away again.
But the current Doha acts like a cat completely on guard against people, yet helplessly shows his true self when affection clings to him. He’d become the opposite personality. Sehyun didn’t mind this change in Doha. No, rather, he liked it.
“Is it hard?”
“Even if I say it is, nothing changes anyway.”
Doha’s eyes as he answered Sehyun’s question looked like someone whose life force had died. The way he deliberately showed he was struggling and acted pitiful was somehow cute. The corners of his mouth rose before he could control them.
‘Nothing changes just because you complain.’
Does he know? That he’s saying exactly the same words he once said. That when things were hard enough to die, that answer with no hope or future actually gave strength.
Sehyun raised his knees and rested his arms on them, leaning his cheek. Somehow it felt like he was being continuously sucked into the past, into even more distant memories.
-I won’t let go of the hand I’ve grasped
The song they’d sung until they were sick of it felt different now.
-Tomorrow hasn’t come yet
-So we have to dream more
There was a time when just listening to it felt like his heart would burst. That emotion seemed to come back to life unexpectedly.
“Hyung hasn’t changed.”
Sehyun’s eyes curved gently. He hated tacky things, but today it seemed okay to be immersed in memories.
At Sehyun’s words, Doha clicked his tongue with haggard eyes. Sehyun didn’t know why he clicked his tongue.
* * *
“Switch rooms with me.”
“Rooms? Why?”
An under-the-table deal was taking place at the dorm they’d arrived at after sunset. Sehyun requested a room exchange with Yunbeom.
At that, Doha, who was sprawled in the middle of the living room groaning, perked up his ears.
What are they talking about right now?
“I need special training for Doha hyung.”
At his words, Doha’s heart sank. It had only been a few hours since they’d rolled around like dogs at the practice room.
Why……? Why even at the dorm……?
He didn’t want to do this now that he was an adult, but it seemed like the time had really come to consider running away in the night.
“I don’t mind.”
Yunbeom accepted coolly.
“I mind though……”
Why do they think this is a personal matter? Shouldn’t they also consider the position of the person using the next bed?
“Then let’s switch right away? Do you have a lot of stuff? Should I help?”
“It’s fine. It’ll be quick.”
The two were in perfect sync. Yunbeom was actively engaging in the room exchange as if this was his opportunity. The mood of Doha, who shared the room, wasn’t very good.
He doesn’t snore when sleeping, doesn’t grind his teeth, and doesn’t smell, so why should he be treated like this?
“Hyung, is this a dumbbell collection?”
“It’s a new release, the grip feels good.”
“Oh. Can I touch it?”
The two who went into the room were harmoniously touching the dumbbells. Ridiculous.
“Can you not hear me?”
Doha’s feeble voice crossed the doorway threshold, but they didn’t even pretend to hear.
“Hyung, are you okay?”
Eden, who had been watching, asked Doha.
“Do I look okay?”
Eden’s head moved side to side. He didn’t seem to be the completely clueless type. He was looking at the two’s backs with coldly chilled eyes when suddenly Sehyun opened his mouth toward Doha.
“Hyung, let’s share a room.”
What’s the point of asking now when you’ve already decided everything yourself?
“……”
Running away at night is tempting.
* * *
The two’s room switch proceeded smoothly. Thanks to that, Doha got a new roommate. It was maddening.
Well, what’s different? Except for the 24-hour playlist from their first album playing in the room and surprise lyric questions reminiscent of a quick-response quiz show, there was nothing different from sharing a room with Yunbeom.
“Blooming in fear.”
“……It’s a blue flame.”
It was like this. While Doha was concentrating on looking at his phone, Sehyun suddenly threw out lyrics and Doha continued them. If the lyrics, pitch, or rhythm were wrong, sharp glares flew his way.
Does a person develop superhuman concentration when their nerves are on edge about one thing all day? Doha was memorizing lyrics at an absurd speed.
“I’m going to sleep first.”
The sight of Sehyun stretching out alone after working him so hard was annoying. But Lim Sehyun was too busy to complain about. He didn’t want to find comfort by comparing relatively, but Sehyun whipped Doha while writing songs, while on phone meetings, while eating, and even burst open the door mid-shower to come out and push him.
It was a series of processes that were twice as painful for the person doing it than the person receiving it. But what does he care? This side never wanted it!
Suddenly, a notification sounded on Sehyun’s phone placed on the nightstand. It seemed like a Purple notification. Did he forget to turn it off?
Whenever he had time, Sehyun would chat on Purple, an app for communicating with fans. Rumor had it that he was the member who appeared on Purple the most among them. Of course, the rumors reaching Doha’s ears were all just chatter from manager Cheolhwan and the members.
‘Is it fun?’
The sound of the song Sehyun had left playing even while sleeping could be heard faintly. Sehyun had fallen asleep within seconds of closing his eyes.
‘The type who falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow?’
No matter how fun something is, it becomes painful when it becomes work. But the current Sehyun was living a life of 100% fighting spirit, so it wouldn’t be strange if he ran out of battery at any time.
Doing something difficult once, but doing it the same way twice? No, doing it better than before. How tenacious.
‘Was it a newly written song……’
The melodies that all sounded the same were now beginning to be somewhat distinguishable. Sehyun had played a song he was recently working on, and the calm beat was quite good.
Since he knew the future, he thought wouldn’t it be easy to copy hit songs and release them to the world first, but Sehyun was showing completely different moves from Doha’s expectations.
He created completely new songs. It was a fact he learned only after hearing the explanation that he made them thinking of each member one by one—in a word, dedication songs for each individual member made by the regressor.
‘His emotions are really insane. An F-type protagonist in the MBTI system? Deep, so deep.’
He thought that if he’d continued reading this novel, the emotional consumption might have been considerable, but soon a helpless sigh escaped.
What stupid thoughts was he having when he’s not even experiencing it as text but in 4D?
“Mm……”
It seemed he wouldn’t be able to sleep unless he turned off Sehyun’s phone notifications, so Doha got up from the bed. He approached the side of Sehyun’s bed.
Purple chat notifications kept coming in on the phone’s lock screen at such a fast speed his eyes couldn’t even follow. Doha pressed the [Turn off notifications] button in the notification window. Only then did the flashing light disappear.
He glanced at Sehyun’s nightstand. Where might his phone that this guy took away be?
He slyly opened the drawer, but inside was completely empty. Even though he knew there was no way such a slippery guy would put it in such an easy place, he still felt disappointed.
That’s when it happened.
“……Ugh.”
Sehyun, who had been sleeping in an upright position like Dracula in a coffin, started tossing and turning. As his head turned, his body followed. Sehyun curled up tightly and grasped the edge of the blanket.
‘He’s having a nightmare……’
Sehyun’s eyelids, which had been groaning, began to tremble. His mouth moved. It seemed like he was saying something, but no voice came out.
Just as he was wondering whether to wake him up.
“……Doha hyung.”
His own name came from his mouth.
