“Sometimes I think you’re really naive, Muyeon.”
Muyeon isn’t in a position where he needs to hide his snort. He laughed as if it were truly absurd. Ha, ha.
“Why me?”
The offensive tone and the arrogance seeping into his voice are of course far from naivety. Same goes for the finger that moves to his ear and touches his earlobe. A chilling sensation rises along the nape of his neck. Seungju chuckled.
“Like how you don’t know how much office workers struggle over even the most trivial things as long as they’re related to the company.”
“I’m learning.”
“Right, that’s admirable.”
Muyeon traces the outer ear with his finger. Seungju closed his eyes for a moment. To endure the sensation rising from the nape of his neck, along his jaw, to the top of his head. Even without opening his eyes to look, he could feel Muyeon smiling. Seungju opened his mouth again.
“And the part where you think it’s okay to blur the boundary between work and private life like that.”
“Does kissing at the company make the distinction between work and private life disappear?”
“Anyway….”
The way he talks…. Seungju opened his eyes and looked up at Muyeon. The eyes visible between the disheveled hair above his forehead are suggestive.
Looking at those eyes, Seungju thought. Muyeon probably has confidence. Confidence that no matter what he does with his lover regardless of time and place as he pleases, there will be absolutely no problem with work. Right, if it’s Muyeon, he might be able to do it well.
But Seungju didn’t have such confidence. He thought anew. Perhaps, if you really think about it, the desire to draw a boundary between work and private life isn’t because he doesn’t want work to be disrupted by private thoughts, but because he doesn’t want to think about the company while looking at Muyeon’s face.
Seungju dimly felt that this obsession with that boundary between work and private life might be fear of his soft self. He’s not actually someone who can distinguish everything sharply. Even if he thinks it’s not okay rationally, with a weak heart he already permits it before he knows it.
Muyeon turned off the TV. And slowly lowered his head. Their lips drew closer. Seungju closed his eyes again. So at least during private time, he wanted to concentrate on just one thing.
While the kiss lengthened and deepened, Seungju got up as Muyeon led him. He straddled his lap and wrapped his arms around his neck. The view from before reversed, and Muyeon’s face looking down from above gave another satisfaction. As if entranced, Seungju lowered his head and pressed his lips to his lips again.
Even now. While thinking that meeting Muyeon every day and mingling bodies without fail is debauched, before he knew it he’d become able to engage in this entire process without any hesitation at all….
Then the phone rang.
Seungju was accustomed to the sound of a cell phone ringing at moments like this. Nevertheless, he flinched and trembled his shoulders as he turned his head to find the source of the sound. But Muyeon put his lips on Seungju’s jaw and murmured.
“…It’s not mine.”
“……”
“Answer it.”
“Sorry….”
Muyeon shook his head. Seungju awkwardly got off his lap and picked up his phone that he’d tossed in a corner of the sofa.
Seungju, who checked the name on the screen, stood for a moment holding the phone. Their eyes met with Muyeon looking at him. Seungju reflexively opened his mouth.
“Just a moment.”
Muyeon raised one eyebrow, and though it was obvious what he was thinking, Seungju absolutely didn’t want to answer this call in front of him. He hurriedly left the living room. He went into Muyeon’s bedroom, but felt uneasy there too, so he opened the bathroom door attached to the master bedroom.
He closed the door and pressed the call button on the phone that was still ringing.
“…Yes, Father.”
Seungju deliberately turned around. He didn’t want to see his face in the mirror. He felt like he’d be making a weak expression. He inhaled, suppressing his breath so it wouldn’t be heard on the other end of the phone.
“What’s this about?”
– Can’t I call if there’s nothing wrong?
“No, that’s not what I meant… What’s this about?”
He was already tired. Seungju hated calls from his parents. Once he talked on the phone, during the entire conversation, and for a while after hanging up, or even until the next day, he felt bad. Seungju rubbed his eyes with his hand.
– Your mother called and you deliberately didn’t answer?
“No, I was in the middle of work… I forgot.”
– There are other things to forget, you didn’t send this month’s living expenses.
“What? No… It’s on automatic transfer, so there’s no way it didn’t go in.”
– Your mother said it didn’t come in.
“Check again.”
Seungju had never been wrong about this kind of thing. Those two must have gotten something confused again. This wasn’t a big problem. The hand rubbing his eyes moved down to his mouth. If he turned around right now and looked in the mirror, he would definitely find a man who was nothing but anxious and uneasy.
From long experience, Seungju knew this absolutely wasn’t the main point. He wanted to avoid the main point that would follow, the big problem, if possible. So he answered quickly.
“Check tomorrow and text me. I can’t answer calls well during work hours, so if you leave a message I’ll see it. If the transfer really didn’t go through, you don’t need to check separately, I’ll just put it in myself….”
– Never mind that, how are you doing these days? Are you home?
Here it comes. The main point. At a question he absolutely couldn’t answer honestly, Seungju hesitated for a moment. He swallowed dry saliva.
“Just getting by, home… no. I’m about to go in.”
– I mean your officetel.
Ah… the premonition wasn’t good.
– Seunghyeon, your younger brother is moving his academy to Gangnam. You know? He’s retaking the exam. We’re trying to find a place over there, but it’s so expensive, you know. So we’re thinking of having him live at your place for about three months while he goes to the academy.
“What?”
As expected, bad premonitions are never wrong. What came to Seungju first was a ringing sensation in his head. Like when a person becomes unable to act when they hear something too absurd. While Seungju was stunned, words flowed smoothly from the other side.
– Well, that kid says he doesn’t want to, but what does he have, what money does he have. It’s better to be indebted to his older brother. So….
“No, Father. Our house?”
– Yeah.
“Of course not. How can two grown men live in that tiny officetel… No way.”
The next emotion that came to Seungju, who’d come to his senses a bit, was anger. No, what kind of house is that to suddenly tell my brother to come in and live there? Seungju let out an empty laugh and refused. Of course, he knew well how this conversation would flow now.
– It’s not that small. That kid will go out in the morning and come in at night. And anyway, when you get married you won’t keep living there, and Seunghyeon could move in and live there….
“Father, why would he live in that house? You just said it. He doesn’t have a penny. What money does he have to live in that house?”
– It’s under your name, so what can’t be done?
“No way! Of course not!”
Seungju shouted. Lately, his reason had been snapping often. Anger rushed to the top of his head, making him emotionally overwhelmed without realizing it. Seungju tried to find his reason. As per long experience, it was a useless effort. The words that followed clubbed his nerves with a club.
– Then what should we do? Your younger brother, how many hours is it back and forth from where he lives now to Gangnam? Are you going to pay for his transportation? With all that hardship, when will he pass the exam…
Seungju tore at his hair. He slid down against the shower booth and sat down.
“Why would I pay for his transportation….”
– You’re his older brother and you can’t do that one thing? How much did you eat from home?
How can he get angry every time he hears words he’s heard a thousand times, no, more than that? Seungju let go of his innocent hair and grabbed the soft bathroom rug. The texture crumpling in his hand seemed to incite his anger rather than suppress it. Because the luxury rug held in his hand was too unrealistic.
Seungju tried to speak as calmly as possible.
“Father, that’s why I send you living expenses every month. It’s absolutely not a small amount. I’ve been earning money since way before my brother’s current age. Tell him to manage on his own.”
– Look at this bastard’s manners when he talks. I raised you well and now you’re not even going to let me see you married, but you’re talking back to your parent without any manners?
When that topic came up, Seungju couldn’t stand it anymore. His vision turned white again. He sneered.
“Earlier you told me to vacate the house when I get married. You obviously treated me like someone who’ll get married, but the words changed in less than a minute. Just do one.”
– What? You bastard, are you like that at your company too with those manners? I raised you properly and you can’t even act like a person, you son of a bitch… You bastard, where are you?
At his father’s words, Seungju amusingly thought of the man outside the door. Well, those words are right. He was clearly someone he met at the company. And he’s not doing anything well-mannered with him either. He was about to say that, then Seungju realized it was self-destruction.
He felt fatigue at a rapid pace. Fighting a battle he could never win was really unwelcome. This fight had no end and no resolution. He just wanted to run away.
“You don’t need to know where, and my brother can’t come to my house. I’m hanging up.”
Ignoring the curses from the other end of the phone that had turned into shouting, Seungju hung up. He tried to hang up decisively, but the thumb pressing the call end button was trembling.
When the abruptly cut noise subsided, the bathroom became surprisingly quiet.
Seungju didn’t even sigh. Instead, he leaned over and lay down on the soft rug. He couldn’t control his emotions. His lips trembled and a whirlwind raged in his heart.
