Reaching emotional extremes so easily was because he was drunk and his mood was swaying back and forth. But the feeling of being sorry was clearly true. He felt guilty even for thinking Muyeon was too much a moment ago.
As if to break Seungju’s sentimentality, the phone screen changed. A call came. It was Baek Muyeon. Seungju was startled. Ah shit, what a shock. Wasn’t he sleeping? Seungju picked up the phone and answered.
“Hello?”
His pronunciation was twisted. It was embarrassing. He didn’t want to be caught being drunk.
– Did it break up?
Muyeon asked abruptly. Seungju answered obediently.
“Yes…”
– You said you’d call?
“I’m sorry…”
A deflated laugh came from the other end. Seungju laughed along. Then Muyeon’s laughter cut off sharply. That was definitely a bit scary. Muyeon asked.
– Where are you?
“Um… I’m between Isu and Sadang here….”
– What are you doing there?
“Sobering up at a convenience store….”
Seungju glanced at the beer cans lined up on the table.
– Got it. I’ll come pick you up. Pin your location and send it.
“What? You’re coming to pick me up?”
The last syllable circled around Seungju emptily without anyone to hear it. He took the phone from his ear and looked at the screen. The call had ended.
Seungju called Muyeon. This time Muyeon didn’t answer. Seungju sent a message.
[You don’t have to come]
Muyeon sent a reply shortly after.
[Location]
When Baek Muyeon is like this, there’s no choice but to listen to him. Helplessly, Seungju sent his current location to Muyeon.
Then Seungju focused on emptying the beer can in front of him. Since he told Muyeon he was sobering up, he had to drink it quickly and get rid of it.
Seungju threw the beer can in the trash and came back to grab his phone again. Then he searched how long it would take from Muyeon’s neighborhood, which he’d roughly heard about before, to where Seungju was now. It takes twenty to thirty minutes. Seungju’s house was a stone’s throw from here. If the bus wasn’t convenient, he could walk there.
Yet he said he’d take him home, wasting twice the time coming here. Utmost devotion indeed. Seungju hung his head deeply with the feeling of being a great sinner again.
Ah… I think I’m going to throw up.
He’d definitely drunk too much. And in that drunken feeling, he lost his sense of time. He didn’t know how much time had passed while he hung his head and blinked.
The next moment, when a familiar voice fell from above his head, Seungju was so startled he nearly jumped up from where he was sitting.
“You’re drunk.”
“Ah shit, what a shock.”
“How much did you drink that you didn’t even know I came?”
“Muyeon…”
Seungju slowly raised his head. Muyeon was looking down at him. The sight of him wearing only a cardigan over a t-shirt was a bit unfamiliar. Seungju, who closed and opened his eyes, knew the cause of the dissonance. It was because of the unstyled hair covering his forehead. It suits Muyeon’s pale, small face well. Seungju opened his mouth following his stream of consciousness.
“Really…”
“What.”
“You’re handsome….”
Muyeon chuckled. He pulled over a chair from across the table and sat down opposite Seungju. Close enough for their knees to touch. He placed his arms on the table and rested his chin on them.
“You’re getting ahead of me so I won’t be angry, right?”
“No? It’s the voice of my heart. The honest voice of my heart.”
Seungju hit his chest a couple times with his hand. His arm wobbled. Muyeon saw that and shook his head slightly. He’s drunk. He’s drunk.
Because he didn’t want to be caught being drunk anymore, Seungju shut his mouth. Muyeon tilted his head and asked.
“Who was in the last car?”
“Um, Kim Seoyeong. And Dawon. And Lee Hyeonha from Team 2.”
“You’re only dropping the surname for Dawon?”
“She’s stagnant water, so…”
Muyeon smiled brightly. One corner of his mouth rose particularly high, making his smile look twisted. He reached out his hand and held Seungju’s hand. Still a cold hand. Cool fingertips fiddled with Seungju’s fingers while asking again.
“Why didn’t you answer the phone?”
“How could I answer a call from the General Manager with all the company people sitting there?”
“What reason is there not to answer? You could just step out for a moment and answer.”
Seungju shook his head. He picked up his phone. And opened the call log.
“Look, it says ‘Muyeon’ right here like this, how could I answer the phone? What if someone saw?”
“That’s why you could have stepped out for a moment to answer.”
It’s clearly confrontational content, but the voice is gentle. A useful skill of Baek Muyeon’s for disguising his true feelings. Seungju was briefly confused about whether to follow the form or content of his words.
While Seungju couldn’t answer, Muyeon took the phone. Seungju blinked and watched what he was doing. Muyeon changed the name of the saved number in the phone book. Seungju read along the letters Muyeon was writing.
“My… dar… ling…. Are you crazy?”
“Why? Should I change it to something else?”
“I was tortured so much about whether I got a lover….”
“You should have said you did.”
“I did say it… but that’s not the problem.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
That was definitely a problem too difficult to explain with Seungju’s drunk mind. Seungju was at a loss for words again. Muyeon pressed the phone into Seungju’s hand.
“Now there’s no reason you can’t answer the phone, right?”
“No….”
“Next time, make sure to answer.”
Muyeon, who wrapped Seungju’s hand, tapped his hand with his finger. Then he added a word.
“And, I waited for your call all night tonight.”
“Yeah….”
“Aren’t you going to say you’re sorry?”
I think I did earlier. Actually, I don’t remember well. Seungju slumped his shoulders and averted his gaze slightly downward.
“I’m sorry.”
Muyeon smiled brightly. Even if he hadn’t been drunk, Seungju would have immediately understood the meaning of that smile. He couldn’t help but notice the feeling of “I’m generous so I’ll forgive you” flowing out abundantly. Muyeon answered.
“I’ll let it slide just this once.”
Seungju nodded while smiling. As always, most of his tragedies always came from alcohol. Making words and promises he wouldn’t remember the next morning was one of them.
***
The next morning, Seungju opened his eyes and thought. The hangover is less than expected. Why?
He got up and held his dizzy head as he thought. Ah… it’s because the alcohol hasn’t worn off yet. A hangover comes after you sober up from drinking.
Seungju fumbled for his phone to check it. Another message had come from Muyeon. Seungju woke up reading it several times. How’s your body, what are you doing today. He sent a reply. I’m okay. I have plans today.
The reply was as fast as a knife. What plans. Seeing that, he only then thought that Muyeon had probably contacted him to meet. Feeling a bit sorry, Seungju tapped on his phone. Plans with college friends.
[Is it a drinking appointment?]
That’s right. Shameless as it was after chugging like crazy yesterday, it was. In fact, Seungju had lived a life fallen into the alcohol vat for too long to feel embarrassment about it. Regardless of how much he drank yesterday, being able to drink today’s alcohol when 5 PM came was one of his philosophies.
Seungju first answered yes… obediently. Muyeon’s message flew over.
[You’ll call today, right?]
[Yes I will]
Seungju answered nicely again.
***
And Seungju kept his promise. Since he was meeting people who didn’t know Muyeon today, there was no need to avoid calls during the drinking session. Seungju called Muyeon once while moving to the second round, once after the second round ended, and once again after arriving home.
Muyeon seemed to have his heart moved a bit by Seungju’s sincerity. The voice that had sunk low as night deepened was gentle. Unlike yesterday, the content within it was also affectionate.
– You’ll spend next weekend with me, right?
Seungju, sitting leaning against the bed, chuckled. Anyway, he’s cute.
“Of course. What do you want to do?”
– Well, I haven’t thought that far yet.
“Ah, then….”
– Then what?
“Do you want to go to a liquor expo with me? The one at COEX. They said it’s next week.”
Muyeon was silent for a moment. Seungju broke his silence. Muyeon?
– How did you know they do that kind of thing?
It seemed like he was asking if alcoholics even know all that. Seungju felt slightly embarrassed. But he had an excuse.
“The friend I met today told me. That’s their profession. They work as a department store food hall MD.”
– Ahhh….
“They said we can do tastings of this and that, and buy alcohol cheaply too. Want to go?”
– Seungju, you really like alcohol, huh?
As expected, what he thought earlier wasn’t a misunderstanding. Muyeon’s words contained more than pure realization. This time Seungju felt embarrassment and also a bit of humiliation simultaneously. Yeah, I’m an alcoholic drunk.
“That’s right. I can’t live without it.”
Hmm…. Muyeon was silent again for a moment. In Seungju’s mind, which was sobering up as the alcohol evaporated, the words Muyeon had said suddenly popped up. I don’t like it when my lover drinks and such, blah blah…
Right, maybe I should have played coy even a little. Then Muyeon answered.
– Okay, then.
“Let’s go?”
– Yes. That’s that, and.
“And…?”
– I’m going to try to find a way.
“What…?”
Again he felt the alcohol wearing off sharply. Anyway, every time that damn word “way” came out of Muyeon’s mouth, he snapped awake. Seungju felt a bit of fear.
