He was afraid to face the empty room where he had already left. Seojun walked toward the end of the hallway with slow, cautious steps. Had he really left me? Was he really going to Jang Seokhyeon after leaving my house? Was his heart not important to him at all? Was our relationship, as he said, just that of employee and employer?
“Ah….”
He stretched out his trembling hand and pushed the door. The bedding on the small bed showed no trace of anyone having stayed. The closet still contained the clothes and accessories he’d given Soohyun as gifts, and the bag Soohyun had last night was gone.
“Ah… no….”
He shouldn’t have done that to him yesterday. Though he’d said he would wait, it was himself who couldn’t wait and pressed him. When he might have had some circumstances. Why couldn’t I think that he might have had another reason he couldn’t tell me?
“Soohyun-ssi… this isn’t right. Still, a little….”
Seojun hurriedly looked for his cell phone and made a call. But only the ringtone went through and Soohyun’s voice couldn’t be heard. Holding onto a small hope that he might have left him a message at least, he rummaged through the message box, but
there was nothing.
“Ah… aah….”
He had left. We were happy until just a few days ago. We would lie on the same bed, feel each other’s warmth and pleasantly fall asleep, eat home-cooked meals together and say happiness is close by.
Sometimes he thought his presence was unrealistic. He’d been afraid he might suddenly disappear like a mirage. A small anxiety that this current happiness might end someday always existed in a corner of Seojun’s heart.
And that anxiety had finally become reality.
* * *
“Let’s go to my house for now, hyung.”
“Thank… you.”
“Something happened, after all, right?”
Soohyun lowered his head. How could he tell Chaeho that Jang Seokhyeon had appeared again? When Soohyun was going through that ordeal, Chaeho was a boy who had just entered adolescence, and he suffered greatly seeing Soohyun in pain.
‘Soohyun hyung, don’t be sick. Don’t think bad thoughts either. What should I do? What should I do so hyung won’t cry?’
Sixteen-year-old Chaeho held Soohyun’s hand and cried silently. He said he couldn’t do without hyung, he wished hyung would be happy, he asked again and again what he should do to make hyung smile again. After what happened with Jang Seokhyeon, Soohyun wanted to die without fail every morning when he opened his eyes. He thought he could be happier if he went to Jeongwon’s side, who must surely be in heaven.
“…Jang… Seokhyeon appeared.”
Screech—
Chaeho’s car stopped abruptly. The car coming from behind honked its horn in surprise, but Chaeho, as if he couldn’t hear anything, trembled finely with his hands gripping the steering wheel. Soohyun looked at Chaeho’s face and then lowered his head.
“That, that bastard? To hyung again?”
“Yeah, this time the thing with Choi Seojun-ssi was all that person’s doing too.”
He didn’t want to tell Chaeho that Jang Seokhyeon had appeared again, but if he was going to stay with him, he felt he should at least let him know his circumstances. Chaeho’s face twisted terribly.
“How could that happen…. I heard that bastard even got married….”
“He got divorced. So he told me to start over again.”
As if telling someone else’s story, Soohyun’s voice was only calm. Before he knew it, Chaeho’s car had arrived in front of the house.
“That bastard is crazy! He’s not in his right mind!”
“Yeah. He was a crazy person from the beginning.”
“What are you going to do now, hyung?”
There was no way Soohyun, who had left Seojun’s house without a plan, would have a clear plan. Chaeho’s house couldn’t be a place to stay for long either. Where… could there be a place to avoid that man’s eyes? Soohyun kept his mouth tightly shut.
“I’m really sorry, Chaeho-ya. I’ll just stay for a bit then….”
“Don’t say that. Since we don’t know what that crazy bastard will do, try not to come out of the house. And hyung, can I have your cell phone for a moment?”
Soohyun handed his phone to Chaeho. Receiving Soohyun’s, Chaeho took something out from his chest and firmly attached it to the back of the cell phone.
“What did you do?”
“It’s from my father’s company, just in case. It’s not a bad thing. Don’t take it off, just leave it.”
“Okay, got it.”
Chaeho said he’d go to the company for now and dropped Soohyun off, and Soohyun blankly watched Chaeho’s departing car before entering his house.
Chaeho’s house hadn’t changed at all from before. His house, which was a bit spacious for living alone, was full of furniture and accessories Soohyun had chosen together with him. Saying he didn’t know well so hyung had to do it, Chaeho went around furniture stores and electronics shops with Soohyun.
‘You should choose according to your taste. What do you like?’
‘Whatever hyung likes, I like.’
‘How can that be? Still, it’s your first independence, so you should decorate it the way you want.’
‘Really. If hyung likes it, I like it too. So I’ll go with what hyung chooses.’
‘Okay… I understand.’
Soohyun buried his body in the sofa. Because he’d gotten almost no sleep all night, drowsiness washed over him. He had no energy because he hadn’t eaten anything either. But right now sleep was more urgent. If he slept soundly, may everything be forgotten. Seokhyeon, Seojun, and his foolish self too. He wanted to erase even the happy memories with Seojun. Because if he came to miss that time, it seemed he wouldn’t be able to bear it.
Before falling asleep, Soohyun recalled Seojun’s last face he’d seen earlier. Looking tired yet neat, but gaunt with sunken cheeks and pitiful.
Now that he had disappeared, he hoped he would live like before again. Like a twinkling star in the sky, happily receiving people’s love. He sincerely prayed that he could live forgetting someone like himself.
The time of about four months from when he first met him until today was, for Soohyun, the first happy and stable time he’d felt in five years. Seojun had never once made Soohyun anxious, embraced the sick Soohyun, and never stopped confessing his love. If only Jang Seokhyeon hadn’t appeared, he could have melted his frozen body and heart a bit more by his side, warm like sunlight….
Was it because he survived at the cost of Jeongwon’s life? Misfortune was always by Soohyun’s side, never letting him be even a little happy. Seojun would quickly forget Soohyun. Around him would be overflowing with beautiful and glamorous people, people without dark pasts, people who weren’t sick and were healthy.
‘What should I do….’
No matter how much he thought about it, Soohyun couldn’t picture his future. He was afraid because he couldn’t even know what would happen tomorrow. Even with his eyes closed, his mind only grew more complicated. Soohyun forced himself to try to sleep.
* * *
[This is Choi Seojun.]
“This is Jang Seokhyeon. What’s the occasion? So early?”
[…Soohyun-ssi….]
In his urgency, Seojun called Seokhyeon. He wanted to confirm whether he’d really gone to him. Though he thought it couldn’t be, he couldn’t erase his anxious feelings. He had to confirm whether he’d really abandoned him and chosen Seokhyeon.
“Ah, Lee Soohyun-ssi. He contacted me.”
[…What?]
“I happen to live alone too. I need someone to work at my house, so I told him to come.”
Seokhyeon, holding the phone, had the most pleased face he’d had in recent times. Hearing Seojun’s half-dead voice was quite pleasant. How greedily must this green brat have devoured his Soohyun? He must have been intoxicated by his body, which was just as beautiful as it was five years ago. Even without fragrance he was sufficiently captivating—how ecstatic would it be if pheromones came from that body? Seokhyeon gulped. Now that the bird had left the cage, catching it was only a matter of time.
“Seojun-ssi?”
[Ah, no. I see. I understand.]
After finishing the call with Seojun, Seokhyeon contacted his secretary. Before Seojun’s call, Seokhyeon had received a report that Soohyun had headed to his house together with Chaeho. It seemed he would stay in that house without coming out for a while, but compared to Seojun’s house, Chaeho’s house was a far too easy place to attack.
“Check carefully whether Lee Soohyun comes out.”
[Understood. If he does come out, what should I do?]
“…We’ll have to bring him. Politely, if possible.”
[Understood.]
Thinking there wasn’t much time left, his heart pounded wildly. Had there been anything in his life he’d wanted this much? He could have everything, and with one gesture from him, anyone would kneel. Those who acted friendly just by pretending to be a bit kind and slipping a few coins into their pockets always overflowed.
Except for one person, Lee Soohyun.
“It was going to end up like this anyway, Soohyun-ah. It took a little time, but… it doesn’t matter.”
Thinking of Soohyun, whom he would soon hold in his hands, his lower body stiffened. Clicking his tongue at his genitals erect as if about to pierce through the front of his pants, Seokhyeon picked up the phone.
“Come in right now.”
As soon as Seokhyeon’s order fell, the office door opened. A female employee in lewd clothing knelt in front of Seokhyeon as if familiar, pulled down his pants zipper, and took his genitals in her mouth.
“Keu—heu—”
