To warm his feet that had already grown cold enough for his toes to turn bright red, he entered the bathroom with tottering steps, turned on the water, and waited for hot water to come out.
Confirming the boiler was running with a whirring sound, Soohyun took off everything from his outer clothes to his underwear. It felt like he should wash with very hot water and be covered with blankets. Already his head was throbbing and he felt feverish.
‘I can’t get sick.’
Though being alone was already familiar and he’d never felt particularly inconvenienced or lonely, when his body was sick was the exception. Because when his body weakened, his heart weakened too.
He tried to rewarm his chilled body by pouring hot water on his body for a long while. He felt blood vigorously circulating through his whole body again from the warmth of the water. Soohyun thoroughly dried his body with a towel and entered the blankets without even wearing underwear.
‘I’m sleepy so should I sleep for a bit first?’
Having cleaned Seojun’s house with almost no break and even done pheromone care after, his whole body ached as if beaten. If he’d come comfortably without walking, it would have been less tiring at least…. Soohyun squeezed out his last strength and barely made it home.
As he was covered with cozy blankets, drowsiness rushed in immediately. Muttering that he should at least wear underwear, Soohyun fell asleep just like that, lying face down curled up.
“Hyung, Soohyun hyung?”
“Eueung, eung?”
Having fallen into deep sleep, Soohyun couldn’t distinguish whether the voice reaching his ears was a dream or reality and groaned for a long while. He tried to open his eyes but as if heavy weights were attached to his eyelids, his eyes wouldn’t open so he only frowned.
“Hyung. Are you sick somewhere?”
“Eueum, eu….”
Knowing there was only one person who could freely come and go from this house, Soohyun knew who the owner of the voice was. When he barely lifted his eyelids, a welcome face looking at him very worriedly came into view.
“…Chaeho?”
“Yeah hyung. You weren’t answering your phone and there was no reply to texts.”
Having fallen asleep curled up like a shrimp just like that, Soohyun rubbed his face buried in the pillow then checked the cell phone screen placed by his bedside. It was approaching 9 PM. So I slept for two hours just like that after coming home…. Soohyun rubbed his face that hadn’t fully woken with both hands.
“Yeah, I was a bit tired. From walking in the rain.”
“I thought so. I should have gone to pick you up.”
Chaeho’s hand grasping his own with a face with drooping eyebrows was very warm. His hand was large and sturdy enough to make one wonder when he’d grown this much. Looking at his younger brother who’d grown so big that his own not-small hand fit inside snugly, Soohyun smiled faintly.
“You didn’t even eat dinner and just slept right? You don’t have a fever, do you?”
Chaeho placed his hand on Soohyun’s forehead and thoroughly checked his condition. Soohyun’s head was just a bit heavy and he had no energy, but there was no particular pain anywhere.
“Doesn’t seem like you have a fever. That’s a relief.”
“Yeah. Thank you.”
Chaeho knew Soohyun’s house password. After Soohyun had been alone at home and collapsed, nearly causing a big problem, Chaeho insisted he needed to know Soohyun’s house password. And after that day, Soohyun could no longer break Chaeho’s stubbornness and ended up telling him the front door password.
“Get up, hyung. I bought dinner. Let’s eat together.”
“I’m sorry every time.”
Still not fully awake, Soohyun forgot the fact he’d fallen asleep naked and sat up. Realizing he wasn’t wearing a thread of clothing, Chaeho hurriedly turned his head. Though he’d only briefly seen his bare upper body, the moment he saw his fair, white body, heat rushed to his face.
“Hyung. Clothes?”
“I washed earlier and fell asleep just like that.”
Soohyun wrapped the blanket around himself and rummaged through a nearby drawer to take out underwear and clothes to wear. Chaeho was looking at Soohyun’s back like that when he cleared his throat and left the room, took out a table and spread it, then took out the lunch boxes he’d bought.
While putting on clothes, Soohyun discovered bite marks and reddish-purple marks left near his chest area and quickly pulled down his shirt. If Chaeho had seen, he would have made a fuss. Relieved he hadn’t been caught, he checked between his legs. It was a part he’d been too exhausted to check while washing. Seeing deep marks left near his groin on the inner thighs too, Soohyun quickly pulled up his pants. It was fortunate at least that there were no marks on his neck or back.
“You’re busy but I made you worry for nothing.”
“Don’t say that. Hurry and eat.”
Chaeho personally tore open chopsticks and held them out to Soohyun. Soohyun silently accepted the chopsticks and began eating the lunch box. He had no appetite, but for Chaeho’s sincerity at least, he had to eat a little.
“Was work hard? See, as I thought, you’re overdoing it….”
“No, it’s not that. It’s because of the rain today.”
Soohyun tried to smile brightly. Besides, if he knew he’d even done pheromone care, Chaeho’s reaction was obvious without seeing it. He’d run wild like an angry bull telling him to quit immediately. Because he likes him.
“Are you going to work tomorrow too?”
“Yeah. It’s 4 days a week. Tomorrow too.”
“…Then I’ll sleep here tonight and go.”
“Chaeho-ya.”
“Hm? Hyung, please let me do that. I’ll sleep here and take you tomorrow and then go to work.”
Though he knew he wouldn’t listen anyway, Soohyun tried to dissuade Chaeho. Knowing he was a person who didn’t suit him, Soohyun was trying to push him away and treat him only as a younger brother, but Chaeho’s heart was constant.
After turning twenty, Chaeho had become even more active toward Soohyun. It was also Chaeho who came to comfort Soohyun when his panic disorder was so severe he couldn’t take a single step outside.
“…Okay.”
Anyway, even if Soohyun didn’t allow it, Chaeho was planning to stay the night here. Having slept here several times after pestering Soohyun, Chaeho had even brought spare clothes to keep here.
Until late at night, the two sat facing each other and talked about various things. Chaeho, who was learning company work under his father after taking a leave of absence, complained that studying would be better.
“Still, it’s better than going abroad to study, so I’m enduring it. Other people don’t go easy on me just because I’m the president’s son, you know?”
“That’s how you learn well.”
The faint smile blooming at Soohyun’s lips infected Chaeho too. At the affectionate smile hanging on Soohyun’s face, pale white enough to be called pallid, Chaeho’s heart beat on its own. It had been quite a long time ago that Chaeho felt the emotion called love for him, who was 8 years older.
“I should sleep. I’m tired.”
“Yeah. Hyung, let’s sleep quickly.”
Chaeho familiarly took out a pillow from the closet, threw it right next to Soohyun’s, and flopped down even before Soohyun. Soohyun, who had been about to take out a mat and blanket for Chaeho, looked at him and lay down beside him with a small sigh.
“It’s not like you’re a kid. We can’t sleep under one blanket together.”
“It’s okay. Because I can just stick close to hyung and sleep.”
Large-framed Chaeho burrowed into Soohyun’s arms. Soohyun could only silently watch Chaeho, who buried his face in his armpit and sniffed with a pleased expression.
“Hyung… you smell good.”
“…What smell. There’s no way I would.”
“No, there is.”
Chaeho’s eyes looking at Soohyun’s face became newly serious. He’d thought even when young that they were dark, deep eyes, but twenty-one-year-old Chaeho’s eyes weren’t much different from when he was eleven. Looking at those clear, deep eyes made Soohyun want to rely endlessly on the young him.
“Hurry and sleep.”
“The smell from hyung is really good. Really warm and soft… it’s different from pheromones.”
“…I see.”
Soohyun’s pheromone glands, as if time had stopped since that day, no longer produced fragrant pheromones. Though there was no medical problem, Soohyun’s pheromones barely came out to the extent he could live without taking suppressants.
Because of that, his heat cycle didn’t come either, so his body was no different from a Beta. But it wasn’t that he didn’t react to Alpha pheromones, so once exposed to pheromones, his body got wet.
“Hyung, Soohyun hyung.”
“Hm? Why?”
“I… just need hyung.”
“…….”
Soohyun knew Chaeho’s confession was sincere, but he couldn’t say anything in return. Instead, he silently stroked Chaeho’s back as he burrowed into his chest.
“You’re twenty-one now… you should meet a good person. That way hyung can be at ease too.”
Chaeho abruptly sat up and looked down at Soohyun. In the dark room where moonlight entered, tension flowed between the two. Chaeho lowered his head, pressed his forehead against Soohyun’s chest, and muttered in a completely cracked voice.
“How can you say that? I… how much I…”
“It’s because you’re a precious younger brother. You know well too. I…”
“I don’t care about that. I just need hyung!”
Soohyun fumbled to find Chaeho’s cheeks. Chaeho rubbed his cheeks against Soohyun’s palm then carefully kissed his palm as if handling something very precious. It was a pitiful kiss begging for love.
