A long silence passed. Kim Yuyoung, who let out a self-deprecating sigh, said.
“You really like someone a lot.”
The moment he heard those words through a third party’s mouth, a wind-like vibration swept across his entire body. He couldn’t brush it off as a joke or refute it. When he came to his senses after staring blankly at the street like he’d become a stone grandfather statue, there was no one in front of him. He hadn’t even noticed Kim Yuyoung clicking away in her heels.
The aftershock of the vibration still remained, making his fingertips tremble. Yeon Cheonguk, who roughly wiped down his face, moved his steps somewhere.
The scenery passing by Yeon Cheonguk was just pictures.
The sunlight coming down between the tall trees on the roadside, the cool shade unique to summer—none of it awakened any sensation.
The electronic dictionary that didn’t fit in his pocket, and even though he had money to buy an MP3 player, he stubbornly carried it around.
A terribly copied habit.
Right, so there were emotions that were this difficult to realize.
It seemed you could remain this ignorantly unaware. There was also love that you only learned about after suffering for a long time.
Not fear, but buzz buzz buzz.
Not vengefulness, but buzz buzz buzz.
Not anxiety, but buzz buzz buzz.
Not false hope, but buzz buzz buzz.
The emotion that would fill in the blank was that belated love and immature passion.
To think this was both a deflating beginning and ending. After burning up his entire teens.
A bitter laugh escaped.
The scarlet summer flowers blooming on the wall swayed gently.
As if saying they knew all along what heat you two held every summer…
He boarded the subway. Since it was summer, it was still bright outside. The sunset dyed the world at length, presenting all kinds of beautiful colors.
Yeon Cheonguk’s steps reached the front of a certain store. It was Kkaebi Manga Village. It was a place he often stopped by when coming to Seoul.
In just a few weeks, the new DVD corner had increased by one section. That meant the number of manga books in stock had decreased accordingly. He sat on the sofa inside and plugged earphones into his ears. New volumes of <Berserk>, <Jjang>, and <The Eccentric Family> were piled up. He also piled on the table the 19+ rated adult manga he read out of obligation.
Just in case, he selected a book where he’d written a code last month and checked it, but the book flap was safe.
This time too, he opened an unpopular work with peace of mind. He secretly wrote the code in ant-sized letters.
2-3-12
6-1-6…
This time it was 17 lines, so he scribbled it divided front and back.
E
r
e
c
t
i
o
n
K
i
n
g
D
o
y
o
u
l
i
k
e
m
e
I
f
I
c
o
u
l
d
t
u
r
n
b
a
c
k
t
i
m
e
When he left the comic book rental shop, he saw men squatting and smoking in the alley next door. As someone whose throat was his life, he didn’t smoke. Instead, he had a habit of watching people who smoked deliciously. Especially when he came near here.
Whenever he watched smokers, there was always a phrase that came to mind.
— I really hate fire. Except for cigarette flames.
After returning to the boarding house in Ansan, he took out the <Moulin Rouge> video from his desk drawer for the first time in a while. It was that very video he’d inadvertently swiped from the comic book rental shop two years ago.
He wanted to watch this video today in particular. In the early morning when everyone was asleep, he came out to the living room and watched the movie with the TV sound muted. On the day he first watched this movie, everything about Hwang Jegu who had attacked Yeon Cheonguk in the rain and darkness was vivid.
It was like a stain that remained the same no matter how much you scrubbed it. Until now, he’d felt wronged for being like this alone, but today was a bit different. He didn’t know how ridiculous he was.
“Yeon Cheonguk, even for a Snorlax slacker, this is too much.”
A dry laugh mixed with the self-deprecating monologue.
“How could you not know, when you liked him that much?”
***
After tossing and turning in bed all night, Yeon Cheonguk went to a nearby cell phone agency as soon as 9 o’clock struck the next day.
“I’d like to open a cell phone account.”
A female employee guided him to the display with a welcoming face. What caught Yeon Cheonguk’s eye was a slide phone. Pantech Sky Head-Up. When he pointed to the model labeled IM-7200, she seemed even more pleased. It didn’t seem to be what people commonly called a filial piety phone or a free phone.
After going through various processes, an important question came up.
“What would you like the last four digits to be?”
After being lost in thought for a few seconds, Yeon Cheonguk answered without hesitation.
“7918.”
Yeon Cheonguk, who left the agency with his new cell phone, immediately entered a nearby PC room. The first thing he did upon sitting down was to sign up for a site called NateOn. He entered his cell phone number, went through the identity verification process, and completed the membership registration. Since the messenger was already installed, there was no need to install it separately.
When he logged in, an empty profile and blank chat window appeared because he hadn’t set a photo. Since the purpose of joining was only one anyway, he didn’t bother to set a profile picture. He immediately searched for the friend search function.
Hwang Jegu.
Seolyun High School.
Gender Male.
Age 20.
He waited for the search results, shaking his leg in anxiety. He was shocked when a hundred and some results came up. However, hope was only momentary. When he looked closely, there were no suitable search results, just Seolyun High students popping up randomly.
“Aw…”
Yeon Cheonguk roughly scrolled down with a very disappointed expression. He looked all the way to the end, but the person he was looking for wasn’t there.
But it was too early to be disappointed. The other side might also take a late interest in NateOn. Still unable to shake off the disappointment, he checked ‘My Profile’ once more.
Yeon Cheonguk.
Seolyun High School.
Gender Male.
Age 20.
If he ever searched for Yeon Cheonguk, he would get in touch.
Just in case, he also signed up for a place called Cyworld. He remembered that Hwang Jegu had a mini-homepage last year. However, this time too, he couldn’t find his desired target. After agonizing, he tried searching ‘Seolyun High Hwang Jegu’ on a portal site.
He saw a web document titled <Your Majesty Hwang Jegu’s 15th Birthday Spanking Party>. Yeon Cheonguk clicked the cursor with wide eyes. The source was none other than Sayclub… It was a post from August 2000.
Disappointment immediately struck. When he actually clicked, a message appeared saying the page could not be found.
“Phew… Did everything explode?”
There were a few other traces of Hwang Jegu on the web, but they were only the childish post that had heated up the internet last year and screenshots of Hwang Jegu’s mini-homepage, etc. The mini-homepage had clearly been deleted a long time ago.
Yeon Cheonguk, who had been scanning through his traces that were fainter than his memories, eventually left the PC room without any results.
Had he trusted NateOn too much? He’d thought he’d get in touch right away. He must have taken it too lightly. There was a reason why Hwang Jegu had disappeared without a trace, and Yeon Cheonguk was involved in that reason, and there must have been something dark that Yeon Cheonguk could never know…
He boarded the Seoul-bound bus carrying a sense of futility and disappointment.
Today he planned to visit the agency and have a showdown. Yeon Cheonguk scratched his seatbelt, bracing himself.
The record agency had only sent Yeon Cheonguk to various competitions until the end of last year, and there was no news of receiving a song from a composer. The director kept saying that these days good ballad songs were being taken first by idol groups, so he was running around hard with his feet, just wait. However, the indefinite blood-drying wait had now reached its limit.
These days, the Korean musical scene was buzzing with news of the premiere of a large-scale imported musical. Large advertisements were also hung up at subway stations.
- 07. 24.
The most beautiful thriller in Broadway musical history
<Jekyll and Hyde> Premiere!
Every time he heard news like this, anxiety surged from within. If he didn’t do something soon, not only would his pockets be completely empty, but his second semester tuition would also be precarious. If you’ve drawn a sword, shouldn’t you at least cut something? If he’d chosen singing, he had to earn at least a daily wage from it—he couldn’t keep going from beer hall part-time job to beer hall part-time job.
He opened the office door. Since it was a small-scale agency that hadn’t yet produced any notable hit singers, the office was also narrow. The team seats divided by partitions were sparsely empty.
Cleanly cleared desks. It wasn’t absence, but a lack of employees. Yeon Cheonguk sensed an ominous future from the cold and sunken office atmosphere. Looking at the increasingly empty office, he decided.
If he couldn’t confirm the release of his debut album today, he would terminate the contract.
The director used a space separately divided by setting up a partition wall inside the office. Yeon Cheonguk, who knocked and opened the door, was momentarily stunned. He’d definitely made an appointment at 3 o’clock, but the seat was completely empty.
It was absurd. When he asked an employee, only a shrugging gesture came back.
“Ha…! You don’t know where he went for outside work?”
“He’s someone who goes here and there so much. We don’t really know either.”
Yeon Cheonguk took out his cell phone from his pocket. To think he’d initiate his first call with such a shitty matter! With his insides bubbling and boiling, he pressed the director’s phone number.
– Hello?
“Director, this is Cheonguk.”
– Huh…? What… what is it. You bought a cell phone? I was surprised because it’s an unknown number. What’s going on?
“I’m in front of your office.”
– Oh right! Right! We were supposed to meet today? Look at my mind. I forgot, hey. I’m so busy with so many meetings with composers and PDs.
“And?”
– Yeah, well, let’s meet next time!
Fuck. A ten-cent curse almost burst out vocally.
