PAUSE (1)
– 2002 –
The end of the 20th century, a new millennium had dawned. It was an era when end-of-the-century ghost stories, including the Y2K bug, circulated through internet cafes. Fear that the world would meet its end like Nostradamus’s prophecy coexisted with hope that H.O.T. would reverse their disbandment and make a comeback. South Korea, where bizarre rabbit dolls sold like hotcakes and the first-ever meme “Get rich” was born, seemed to be forgetting the despair and shadows of the IMF crisis.
Floppy disks and tapes disappeared as CDs emerged, bringing winds of change to the popular culture scene. Faceless singers poured out, moistening the public’s emotions.
Blockbuster music videos were the talk of the town day after day. Jo Seongmo’s album swept the nation and set new sales records, eventually even filming a plum commercial, then Brown Eyes appeared like a comet and swept first place on music programs without any broadcast activities.
Every household hung round TV satellite broadcast antennas outside their balcony windows. Even without waiting for <Disney Cartoon Playground> every Saturday, they could watch movies on TV every day. Children gathered at the new phenomenon called PC rooms, giggling as they watched the Jjollaman series.
The authority of the handsome part-timer that ‘Mindeullae Territory’ once held moved to ‘Canmoa.’ This was the landscape of 2002, two years into the 21st century.
South Korea, a co-host of the World Cup, advanced to the round of 16 for the first time in Korean soccer history in the third Group D preliminary match. Yoon Dohyun cheered for South Korea under the name YB, and Red Devils t-shirts and headbands piled up in every household. Seoul was being covered in red.
That year, the world was hot with the emergence of slide feature phones and World Cup cheers, but their summer was hot for different reasons.
The second Wednesday of May, Yeon Cheonguk stood alone on stage. Gripping the microphone tightly in his left hand, calming his nerves.
Ah. Ah. Even while doing a mic test, it didn’t feel real.
It was on a temporary outdoor stage set up on an empty lot near the lodging. For a boys’ high school field trip talent show stage, both the lighting and sound equipment were fairly well-equipped.
When he first heard his own voice spreading through the large speakers set up on both sides of the stage, an icy chill shot through the back of Yeon Cheonguk’s head.
He didn’t know at the time that it was a thrill. It was a feeling he’d experienced for the first time. His hands trembled from the extreme exhilaration that passed in an instant.
The male high school students sitting in front of the stage were no different from black-haired beasts. They only cheered for crude gags or strongman shows, having no interest in some stage where an unfamiliar classmate stood alone.
– Who’s that?
– Class 3 didn’t have anyone to do the talent show, so they forced just one person out. So sad…! I heard only losers gathered in that class.
– Yeon Cheonguk? That 4D Canmoa part-timer? Is he aspiring to be a singer?
– Who knows. How would I know? Not interested.
They were already disappointed and chattering away before the song even started. Even for a turn they weren’t interested in, they should at least quietly pay attention out of courtesy when it started, but as Yeon Cheonguk walked step by step to the center of the stage and cleared his throat, they made a noisy commotion. They must have thought another pretentious idiot was about to hit a sour note.
“Class 3, just pass! Class 4, come out!”
“Class 4, come out!”
The audience even sent mischievous jeers. Some even pretended to look at the girls’ high school lodging dozens of meters away.
Their attention and lower halves were focused solely on the unknown high school girls.
Yeon Cheonguk scanned the audience of classmates, then shifted his gaze to the sky. The scene spread before his eyes was vividly felt through all five senses. The faintly spreading stage lights, the crescent moon in the cloudless night sky, the scent of forest and trees, the excitement of the field trip.
Soon the accompaniment began. One, two, three, four.
This song’s intro is instantaneous. The vocals start almost simultaneously. <The Beginning> sung by Park Kiyoung. That song, a regular during lunchtime broadcast requests, was enough to capture the dreamlike atmosphere of the field trip even when sung by a man.
There was a night when I thought only of you
Why am I really acting like this
Could it be that I’ve come to like you too much
I guess this is love
“Ohhh…!”
It didn’t even take four verses for the attention of the three hundred or so audience members who had been at the condo windows dozens of meters away to return to the stage.
It was just 15 seconds. That’s how long it took to steal the gaze of the black-haired beasts.
Though it was a talent show stage he’d been pushed onto, Yeon Cheonguk’s eyes shone with vitality and joy.
A clear yet solid voice stretched far into the distance. Vocal production and volume on a different level. Noticeably shattering the limits of vocal range, reaching high and far.
When immersed in song. When forgetting all other thoughts and conveying deep emotion to listeners.
Yeon Cheonguk seemed to be alive.
When he released the melody created inside his body outward, he felt like he was flying through the air on the tune. Sometimes he swam through water, sometimes he sailed through space. He strolled through nonexistent memories, flew over cities.
When people listened to his song, the real-world Yeon Cheonguk disappeared. Only the singing Yeon Cheonguk existed…
The accompaniment nearly cut off at the end of the second verse climax high note. It was a section filled only with voice.
I want to tell you
That I love you
A quiet a cappella section where even the singer’s deep breath could be heard. The audience also carefully exhaled.
I want to give you everything
As he ran toward the end like that, Yeon Cheonguk finally heard it. Sincere cheers…
Cheers let out from being unable to contain the emotion they felt…
His eyes were wet, so he couldn’t look directly at the audience. The night sky was deep and clear.
The house covered with red foreclosure notices everywhere.
His parents’ fights where side dish containers and dishes broke every other day.
The sadness from the night before departure when he worried until the end that he might not be able to pay the field trip fee—it all seemed like nothing.
When singing, Yeon Cheonguk was free and happy. No matter what curves life threw at him, if he could sing in front of people, he felt he could endure it. Because he could confess anything through borrowed lyrics. Whether words of love or words of longing. Sometimes words of being so tired and lonely.
Did the scene he saw and experienced that night become fate’s wheel entering his body? That spring night when he forgot all worries and poured out his voice, the day when the endless night sky embraced his heart.
The life of Canmoa part-timer Yeon Cheonguk became one life with song.
The fact that Hwang Jegu wasn’t in the audience that day wasn’t even on his radar. To Yeon Cheonguk at that time, it was a name he cared about less than roadside trash. An uncontrollable delinquent who got suspended like a seasonal event wasn’t even in Yeon Cheonguk’s mind.
***
According to what he heard later, female students had crowded onto the balcony of a nearby lodging. On the return day, in front of the bus, Yeon Cheonguk encountered a group of high school girls holding an armful of large dolls and snacks.
“Um… excuse me, are you the person who sang <The Beginning> on that stage last night…?”
He was taking off the denim jacket he’d worn over his hoodie because it was hot, cooling off his sweat. The luggage bags in both hands were also heavy as hell, but four female students held out extra-large bundles. It was amazing that they’d had time to get these things during the packed field trip schedule.
“We really enjoyed your singing yesterday! I also dream of being a singer… I’d like to get close with you!”
“Ah, thank you. For me it’s not quite a dream, I just sing as a hobby.”
“Aww… you’re so modest. Oh, I bought this new one that just came out!”
The female student pointed to the headset hanging around Yeon Cheonguk’s neck. He wanted to hide it since it was already several years old, but he didn’t show it. Finding a common conversation topic, she cheerfully chattered on. Just before the bus departed, the female student pointed to the tag on the doll as big as her body.
Hugging the doll, she waddled onto the bus. Looking at the tag, she had kindly written down her cell phone number, Sayclub, and Buddy Buddy IDs.
It was a cell phone number starting with the 016 area code. Not only did he not have a cell phone, it wasn’t a time when he could leisurely do computer chatting either. As Yeon Cheonguk shoved the doll into the seat next to him without any emotion, the beasts next to him made a fuss.
“Hey! Yeon Cheonguk got confessed to by a girl!”
“Lucky bastard, she was pretty too!”
“Treat us!”
“Young man. Teach me how to sing too. Girls fall for you, huh?”
Yeon Cheonguk’s nicknames were ‘Cheongnyeon’ (young man), switching the order of the first two syllables of his name, or ‘Canmoa Guy.’ He raised his middle finger toward the drooling guys crowding around.
“With your faces, nothing will work. Wake up from your dream.”
“Shit. You bastard, enjoy.”
“You enjoy plenty yourself.”
The class kids’ attention was just the beginning.
After the field trip, the era of suffering for ‘Seolyun High’s Jo Seongmo’ would truly begin…
