# Chapter 107
It was the first time since childhood that his ability was uncontrolled. The toxic energy that continuously poured out after breaking free from the restraints that had melted sticky began to turn even the hard, rough concrete floor pitch black. Dohyuk hastily pushed himself into the corner, shoving away the chair that had turned black like rotten wood with his foot. With a crash, the cheap metal chair broke miserably. His eyes rolled wildly, not even realizing the pain as he buried his head in the corner.
The bright red camera light was still flashing. Dohyuk slammed his head against the wall again with a thud. He spread his hands. His rough hands were black with toxic energy. After looking around frantically with an empty body, he finally bared his teeth and bit into his own wrist. As he tore at his skin like a madman, praying for bright red blood to pour out, a dark green bodily fluid…
“Aaagh! Aaaaargh!”
His mind became hazy with pain. It wasn’t just the pain of torn skin. Dohyuk felt something changing inside him. Bulging black veins wrapped around his wrist like vines. Everything his hands touched melted black. The clothes Dohyuk wore were already tattered at the sleeves.
The bright red gaze still stared at Dohyuk. Like a taciturn recorder, it licked Dohyuk’s hideous appearance relentlessly without rest from the same spot. He wanted to escape the lens. But he didn’t even have the courage to approach close enough to destroy the camera. He only banged his head in the corner again. Tremendous pain crushed all his nerves. In the midst of pain that felt like every cell was being crushed underfoot, he felt like escaping from all this despair.
Suddenly, he thought of a solution.
What if he died?
Dohyuk grinned at the thought that sprouted like salvation amidst the chaotic pain. Even among all his possessions that had been taken, Dr. Choi’s pill remained. It was thanks to Dr. Jeong not thoroughly searching inside his clothes.
‘That might not be the case if a rampage begins. Anyway, keep it.’
Only now did Dohyuk understand what Dr. Choi’s ambiguous words meant. And why he hadn’t been able to commit suicide until now.
He had lived foolishly thinking himself human while considering Seoyeon a monster. Not anymore. Dohyuk couldn’t deceive himself into believing he was human even in this state. Dohyuk’s last prey was himself. How fitting a punishment for the sinner who had branded Seoyeon a monster.
The light on his nape flashed yellow as his ability continued to rampage uncontrollably. Dohyuk hurriedly raked the floor with both hands, grinding his mouth with a crunch. The sharp pain cut through his dull mind. Using that pain as a tool, he forcibly awakened his senses. Dohyuk desperately searched for the medicine while forcibly suppressing his barely calmed ability. There was no time. If he made a mistake and released his ability again, even this only key would rot and crumble. His anxiously moving fingers finally grabbed the pill.
Ah, at last.
Ridiculously, he felt relief. His gaping lips might have formed an even deeper smile. He was moved by the fact that he could finally find liberation. Happy? You’ve always wanted to die. Dohyuk nodded at the formless voice whispering as it chewed at his earlobe. Yes. He had always been so desperate to die that it was unbearable. He had momentarily forgotten that he had barely endured and breathed until now by ruminating on the fact that the process of continuing life was a process toward death.
Dohyuk tilted his head back.
To hold the medicine in his mouth.
To hunt the monster one last time.
‘Why do you keep crying? I’m upset because it doesn’t seem like it’s because of me.’
…But why had he forgotten? Why had he forgotten that desperate feeling of wanting to die?
Plop.
The pill rolled hopelessly through his weakened palms. Dohyuk blinked quietly with a dreamy gaze.
He recalled the gesture of someone who, despite being by no means small, bent their waist to rub their cheek against his nape. He remembered the clear eye smile that burst forth every time their lips touched. He remembered the incomparably fresh body scent. He remembered the hair that became disheveled between his fingers. He remembered the lips that clung to his mouth like a spoiled child when he caressed the corners of his eyes. He remembered the time when every moment of breathing the same air was so precious that he forgot even death.
After briefly frowning as if struggling to distinguish between reality and dreams, Dohyuk suddenly spat out bloody fluid. Looking at the strange bodily fluid—a mixture of dark red blood and something sticky caught in his palms—Dohyuk silently shed tears, drop by drop.
He was disgusted by all the desires that showed themselves only as the end approached.
It wasn’t enough. He wanted to spend more time with Junseo. He wanted to watch movies of genres Junseo liked together. There were many places he wanted to go with him. He wanted to pour all his time entirely into Junseo. In fact, he would have been content just holding hands quietly and counting the long hours. He wanted to stupidly repeat “I love you” until dawn while putting a ring on his finger.
Ah, what expression would Junseo make when given the ring? Dohyuk struggled to imagine while panting in pain. Perhaps he would quickly relax the brow that half-frowned reflexively whenever something good happened, and generously offer that bright eye smile. He wanted to picture that beautiful expression clearly before his eyes, but the half-formed, whitishly blurred expression hopelessly scattered. It was the same no matter how much he tried to imagine. With the end approaching, Dohyuk could not have the complete Yu Junseo. His tears wouldn’t stop from the sorrow.
“Huu… hic…”
He missed Junseo.
He wanted to live,
normally with Junseo.
The damp sealed room without a speck of sunlight was like a giant coffin. Dohyuk’s consciousness gradually drifted away. So he regarded the faintly heard voice as a kind of flashback. Like people recalling precious memories at the end of their lives, Dohyuk too was recalling the most brilliant moment of his life.
“Hyung.”
A urgent voice, different from the usual languid one that was as relaxed as a stretched-out cat, was heard nearby. It was so clear, unlike the imagination he had been holding in his arms just now, that Dohyuk blinked. Was this a dream? He might already be dead.
His vision was still blurry, either from tears or his vague consciousness. He tried to reach out but then let his body go limp, realizing his inhuman body even in that hazy sight. His pitch-black hands and half-missing fingernails looked closer to ragged pieces of meat than anything human.
He blamed a God he had never believed in during his life. If You were going to take pity and grant my wish, couldn’t You have been a little more generous? Although it might be an illusion, he didn’t have the confidence to face Junseo properly looking like this. After spitting out another messy blood fluid, Dohyuk wiped his mouth as he pushed himself further into the corner.
“Jun, seo…”
Yet he suddenly realized he couldn’t take his eyes off the person standing before him.
“…Huu, this is me… I’m sorry.”
This could be hell.
All sorts of thoughts creaked. He averted his gaze, unable to look at Junseo’s expression properly. He was afraid of seeing his own appearance reflected in Junseo’s eyes. His body wasn’t listening, as if trying to shed a lifetime’s worth of tears all at once. He was afraid, not knowing how disgusting he must look to Junseo. He was showing the most hideous appearance in the world to the person he wanted to give only the best things to. Dohyuk was helplessly crushed between the gaps of incoherent thoughts as he arbitrarily rubbed his eyes.
“If, I knew I’d end up like this… I didn’t want you to hate me. Being by your side… that was because I, like you so much, I kept staying close to you.”
Various sounds mixed chaotically and buzzed, but his ears felt stuffed like someone sinking into the sea.
It was his limit. His head snapped to the side. With his head leaning against the hard wall, Dohyuk gazed fully at Junseo for the first time. It was a strong desire to engrave him on his retina, strong enough to overcome fear. The watery film glistening on his pupils dropped with a plop as soon as he blinked. Knowing it was selfish, Dohyuk smiled unconsciously.
“But even now… even looking like this, because you’re my last.”
I’m happy.
The final words were only traced with his lips.
His ability began to rampage again, like water spilling from a cracked cup that finally broke, despite his desperate efforts to suppress it. Just before losing consciousness, his wrist was gripped by a firm hand. It was a sensation too vivid to be a delusion. He should no longer touch him. He should let go. Even while shaking his head, Dohyuk reached out. Grasping the only thing in his empty life, he embraced it. The intense selfishness of wanting to melt together and mix until they couldn’t tell their forms apart colored his final moments.
***
[Breaking News] Korean Ability Authority Research Building Explosion ‘Caused by Headquarters-Owned Dungeon Core’… Two Affiliated Researchers Missing
[Exclusive] ‘Son Gyuhyuk Gate’ Investigation Team Indicts Kang Chakwon
The investigation team for the ‘Son Gyuhyuk Gate’ case has indicted Daehan Open Party member Son Gyuhyuk and current Korean Ability Management Authority Esper Director Kang Chakwon on XX day.
The Ministry of Justice Prosecution Investigation Committee’s related investigation team (led by Chief Prosecutor Ryu Myeonghui) announced that they have indicted Son Gyuhyuk and Kang Chakwon on charges including bribery, illegal political fund receipt, and rape causing bodily injury.
(Omitted)
The Administrative Affairs Audit Special Committee (Chairman Choi Gyeongshik) announced on XX day that they will conduct an administrative affairs audit of the Korean Ability Management Authority under the Ability Security Department and present measures to improve the treatment of ability users.
