***
He dreamed. Far beyond the hill, a longed-for silhouette stood. Running across the green grassland that stretched out before him, Sansan approached that figure. Even if they were farther away, he would have recognized them. It’s you, Wol.
Wol-ah! Wol-ah!
Sansan called out to his younger sibling until his throat gave out. Finally, he reached a distance where he could see their face.
Wol-ah, I missed you.
Sanwol looked at Sansan with sad eyes. Then lowered that gaze to their own bosom. Only then did Sansan see Gang-i cradled in Sanwol’s arms.
The moment Sansan opened his mouth to say something again, Sanwol turned away from him without a word. Holding the child, they moved away to the other side.
Wol-ah! Wol-ah! Don’t go!
No matter how much he shouted and called, Sanwol didn’t look back. He wanted to chase after them, but strangely his feet seemed stuck to the ground and wouldn’t move.
Wol-ah, wol-ah! Sansan cried out for Sanwol until his voice tore.
Until the green grassland was completely covered in darkness.
“W-Wol-ah!”
Crying out that longed-for name loudly, Sansan bolted upright.
“Haa, haa.”
In the pitch-black darkness that spread before his eyes, Sansan calmed his ragged breathing. He silently wiped away the tears that fell in drops. Even knowing it was a dream, it was hard to swallow down the anguish.
“Wol-ah, why do you take Gang-i away? I’ll take good care of him.”
He murmured as if talking to himself.
A while later, having grown accustomed to the darkness, Sansan suddenly thought it was terribly hot and pushed away the thick gold brocade covering his lower body. He felt like he needed to drink some water. He glanced briefly at the Emperor sleeping beside him, then carefully stepped out of the bed.
“What is it?”
Then a disembodied voice came from outside the curtains. It was the Emperor’s imperial guards protecting the Emperor from an invisible location. At first he’d been startled as if seeing a ghost, but now he was used to it.
“W-water, I want to drink some water…”
“Wait there.”
After those words dropped flatly, not long after, a water cup was extended inside the curtains. Sansan hurriedly took it and gulped it down.
“Haa, haa.”
Even after drinking the whole cup, for some reason his throat was parched. That wasn’t all. Sansan touched his own forehead. His head was dizzy and he kept feeling lightheaded.
“If you feel sick anywhere, you must find me immediately.”
The Emperor’s reminder from earlier in the evening came to mind. Sansan looked down at the Emperor while repeatedly exhaling hot breaths that were becoming increasingly labored.
It was strange. He hated him, disliked him, felt he was even more of a stranger than strangers. Just like when he had hemorrhaged last time, and now too—why was it that whenever something went wrong with his body, he unconsciously sought out this man first?
Sansan tried to endure it alone without waking the deeply sleeping Emperor. After that, he tossed and turned alone for quite a while. Curling up, lying on his side, curling up again, lying flat on his back again. He writhed on the bed restlessly, panting. His movements were so bustling it was surprising the Emperor didn’t wake.
“Are you uncomfortable somewhere?”
A voice came from outside the curtains again.
“N-no.”
Sansan gritted his teeth and held back his groans. For some reason, his lower abdomen was hot as if boiling. Instinctively, he caressed his lower belly where the baby was.
Thinking the baby might be hurting again and sending him signals, he stroked his belly while whimpering in pain. But it was a little different from that day.
Back then, his belly hurt as if it would tear and cold sweat poured down his entire body, but now it felt like something was boiling hot inside. Also, instead of cold sweat, goosebumps ran all over his body.
“Haa, ngh.”
Sansan fell forward onto the bed and unconsciously rubbed his body. It was strange. His head hurt and he was dizzy, yet how could such moans escape? Not knowing why, he thrashed his body this way and that. Time passed like that again.
“Ahh, ah.”
At some point, Sansan had fallen into masturbation without even realizing he had put his hand between his legs and was rubbing his lower parts. He couldn’t come to his senses. His vision went white and his reason blurred. He couldn’t think properly. He just let his whole body surrender to instinct.
That’s when it happened. Sansan, who had been lying on his side touching himself, sat bolt upright as if struck by lightning.
“Ah.”
Just like that day, the area between his legs had gotten wet. Sansan thought he had hemorrhaged again. Terrified, he frantically crawled to the Emperor and shook him awake.
“Your Majesty! Your Majesty!”
“Hmm.”
“Your Majesty! I, I’ve bled again. What should I do?”
Still drowsy with barely his eyes open, Sansan asked the Emperor tearfully. At that sound, the Emperor also came fully awake.
“Light the lamps at once!”
The Emperor immediately sat up, swept aside the curtains, and commanded. Shadows descended one by one from who knows where. And a short while later, palace eunuchs holding candles rushed into the bedchamber.
Finally, inside the brightly lit bedchamber, Sansan looked down between his legs with a dazed expression.
“I, I didn’t wet myself. Really. Really, Your Majesty.”
Sansan appealed tearfully as if wronged. The Emperor immediately lowered his face and smelled the gold brocade.
“You didn’t wet yourself.”
The Emperor raised his head again and stared at Sansan with dark eyes.
“…Your Majesty, I, I’m strange. What’s happening to me?”
His entire body flushed red, his lower parts standing erect. Sansan’s scent fluctuating madly.
What all of this meant was clear. It was the eum-in’s hilakgi that Imperial Physician Do had mentioned.
***
The Emperor first soothed Sansan and confined him inside the bed, then summoned Imperial Physician Do. In the dead of night, Imperial Physician Do rushed into Mianggung Palace’s bedchamber wearing only his sleeping clothes with an overcoat thrown on.
“It seems Noble Consort Jin Mama has met his first hilakgi.”
As research progressed, unlike ordinary people, in the case of cheonin, discussions were emerging that adulthood should be determined based on the first hilakgi and yeollakgi. This was because cheonin who hadn’t experienced their first hilakgi and yeollakgi were not yet sexually manifested.
Imperial Physician Do couldn’t help but feel dismayed inwardly. Of course, it was something the Emperor hadn’t known either, so he couldn’t blame him, but in conclusion, Sansan had become pregnant while not even sexually manifested yet. How could he not think the Noble Consort’s situation was pitiful?
How did he even end up setting foot in the palace. Imperial Physician Do clicked his tongue quietly while prostrated.
“Then what must be done?”
Even while the Emperor and Imperial Physician Do were conversing, Sansan’s sounds of distress were flowing out in all directions from the bedchamber.
“If you bed him now, nine times out of ten he will inevitably miscarry.”
“Then you’re saying to leave him like that?”
“…Yes. That’s the only thing that can be done. I once saw the hilakgi of a cheonin I was keeping, and no medicine could calm it. Moreover, since there is an imperial grandson in his belly, it’s difficult to carelessly use medicine.”
“Then will the Noble Consort calm down after suffering like that?”
“By heaven’s blessing he may calm down, but if not…”
“If not?”
“Please forgive this subject’s incompetence. I don’t yet clearly know about this, but it’s understood that if the heat isn’t relieved and remains inside, it not only causes great harm to the internal organs, but sometimes there are even cases of going mad. Please kill this subject, urk!”
Before Imperial Physician Do’s words could finish, the Emperor threw a teapot at him. The thing that flew through the air struck Imperial Physician Do’s crown precisely and split in two, then soon shattered into pieces upon hitting the floor.
“Are you mad? How dare you say such things about my Noble Consort?”
Imperial Physician Do had merely made the judgment he should make as an imperial physician. If he had to choose between a concubine and an imperial grandson, naturally it would be the imperial grandson. The very fact that the Son of Heaven’s bloodline and a concubine stood on the same comparison ground didn’t make sense.
However, Imperial Physician Do, who had somehow inwardly anticipated this would happen, painfully swallowed his groan and bowed deeply to the Emperor once more.
“I have committed a crime worthy of death, Your Majesty. Please forgive this subject’s crime. However, I implore with true loyalty, so please look down with mercy. Setting aside who to prioritize, is there not one more point you must consider? If something goes wrong with the baby in his belly, nothing will be able to hold Noble Consort Mama’s spirit together anymore, Your Majesty. Please have compassion.”
He was saying that if something went wrong with the baby, Sansan would ultimately be unable to overcome it. Of course, the Emperor agreed with this as well.
However, that didn’t mean he could abandon Sansan and choose the baby. That would be putting the cart before the horse.
“Imperial Physician Do, withdraw and reflect on your conduct.”
The Emperor turned his back. Watching the Emperor move his steps toward the bedchamber, Imperial Physician Do desperately clung to him, knowing it was meaningless.
“What, what do you intend to do, Your Majesty!”
The Emperor looked back at Imperial Physician Do with a cold expression.
“I can have another child, but I cannot obtain the Noble Consort again.”
Footnote:
Hilakgi (희락기) – heat/sexual manifestation period for eum-in
Yeollakgi (열락기) – another type of heat period for cheonin
Cheonin (천인) – celestial/hermaphrodite people
