He was about to raise his body but stopped for a moment to look down at Sansan. The white naked body sprawled on the white fur blanket made from young lamb’s wool truly felt like it belonged to neither a man nor a woman.
There was no body hair at all, a tender chest like an underdeveloped boy’s and a swollen belly like a birth-giver’s, and beneath that, hidden, the beautiful-colored genitals and secret place that only the Emperor himself could see and touch.
It couldn’t reproduce, so was it right to call it genitalia? As he had thoughts bordering on mockery, the Emperor extended his hand outside the curtain. The court lady who had been waiting immediately handed him hot water.
At some point, the Emperor had taken to personally wiping Sansan’s body. It seemed he didn’t want to entrust that body even to a eunuch.
“Are you hurt anywhere?”
The Emperor grasped the two slender thighs with one palm and asked while wiping Sansan’s lower body exactly like wiping a small child’s bottom.
Sansan buried his small face in both palms and mumbled that he was fine. Perhaps because he didn’t feel like his own person at all. Even though this happened every day, the shame didn’t diminish. He only waited for the Emperor to leave to attend to state affairs.
“If you feel even slightly strange, you must tell me immediately and call Imperial Physician Do. In about four or five more months, Won will be born, so you must be even more careful.”
Even Sansan, who had inwardly thought the Emperor was insane for treating him like a birth-giver, could no longer deny that there was a child in his belly at this point.
Unlike others who only showed a swollen belly, he could actually feel the life growing inside his belly day by day. Sansan unconsciously lowered his hand to wrap around his swollen lower abdomen.
“…Yes, Your Majesty.”
What had been called Crown Prince, Crown Prince had become a prenatal name. Though it was called a prenatal name, it actually held meaning equivalent to a childhood name or given name, so all palace servants except Sansan had already guessed what expectations the Emperor held for the child Sansan would bear.
“You won’t call me Sibilang.”
As always, the Emperor made the same demand.
“Who dares to be whose husband? Is that a concubine trying to act like the principal wife?”
A memory from a certain day flashed through Sansan’s mind. It soon pooled thickly in a corner of his heart. It was what the Emperor had said about Sanwol on the day Sansan first attended the Emperor’s bed. At that time, it had been a full five months since Sanwol had conceived Gang-i in her belly.
He’d said he wasn’t Wol-i’s husband, so naturally he couldn’t be his husband either. There was no difference between Wol-i and him. Bin, Bi—no matter how much they were called as if they were something, they were merely concubines. However,
“Just as all the people are Your Majesty’s subjects, the harem is also Your Majesty’s subject.”
Sansan once again engraved in his heart the request Sanwol had made when she was alive.
“Please. I only have, Orabeoni. Still, you’re his nephew. Right?”
He also engraved behind his closed eyes Sanwol’s last face as she entrusted Gang-i, whom she’d given birth to in exchange for her life, until her breath ceased.
“…Sibilang.”
Thinking of Gang-i, Sansan opened his mouth that could barely move and called him as the Emperor demanded. Even though it wasn’t the first time he’d put it in his mouth, his heart ached. He felt sorry to Sanwol.
At the title of Sibilang that emerged through Sansan’s wet lips, the Emperor threw away the hot water he’d been using to wipe Sansan’s body and pounced on him. He burst into deep sighs as if going crazy, repeatedly kissing him and fondling Sansan with his hands.
Only after Head Eunuch Han stopped him again and again, saying he was concerned about the Imperial Grandson in the womb, did the Emperor reluctantly release Sansan, who was covered in all kinds of bodily fluids, and turn away. And so another long, arduous day began.
***
“Mama, Wanui Han has arrived.”
“Oh, t-tell her to come in.”
It was around the time when Mishi was transitioning to Sinshi. At a time when one naturally becomes drowsy, a welcome guest visited Sansan for the first time in a while. Sansan, who had inwardly been waiting for when she would come, felt the sleep demon naturally flee as he straightened his body that had been lazily sprawled on the cushion of the Arhat bed.
“I offer my greetings to Bi Jin Mama. Mama, may you enjoy great fortune.”
Shortly after, Wanui Han, beautifully dressed in a fluttering pale yellow garment inside a cape, crossed the threshold of the eastern side hall of Mianggung Palace’s rear hall. Seeing her kneel on one knee and offer her respects before he could even stop her, Sansan only bit his lips.
“You don’t need to do that…”
At Sansan’s voice that crawled in completely, Wanui Han lifted her head and smiled brightly.
“It’s been a while, Orabeoni.”
Wanui Han, who had been slowly rising and approaching Sansan, briefly gave her attention to the baby crib placed near the Arhat bed.
“Oh my, His Highness the Eighth Imperial Prince is awake.”
At that moment, Gang-i, who had been looking up at the colorful toys the wet nurse court lady was shaking in the air while smiling broadly, let out a kyaa sound and burst into laughter.
“Has it been ten days? He’s grown so much again in the meantime.”
Wanui Han, who had just sat down next to Sansan, said. Sansan nodded repeatedly as if proud.
“He grows bigger day by day.”
The words he added in a shy voice carried an emotion like pride. He seemed to think somewhat highly of himself for taking good care of Gang-i.
There were three wet nurse court ladies alone, and under each wet nurse court lady were three more court ladies attached. All Sansan did was frequently look in on him and dote on him, but Wanui Han just smiled prettily, pretending not to know anything.
“Since Orabeoni watches over him with devotion, it’s a natural result. Unnie will be grateful from heaven too.”
“…Gr-grateful for what.”
Wanui Han’s carelessly uttered words made Sansan’s heart skip. For a moment Sansan’s complexion darkened, but he immediately shook his face left and right and smiled as if nothing was wrong. He didn’t want to make Wanui Han, who had come after a long time, feel unnecessarily uncomfortable.
Starting from the day she came to Yeongnyeong Palace carrying the swaddling clothes she’d made herself, Wanui Han had made time occasionally to interact with Sansan. It was the same even after Sanwol died. Wanui Han was also the one who told him the name of the temple where Sanwol was buried and how grand the funeral had been.
Sansan liked Wanui Han. When they were together, he could talk about Sanwol and also talk about Gang-i growing up. He always inwardly waited for Wanui Han, who always smiled and spoke kindly, and listened.
“Why did you come after such a long time?”
“The weather got cold and I caught a cold. Since Orabeoni is pregnant, it would be terrible if I transmitted it to you, wouldn’t it? I was stuck only in Suchanggung Palace until I was completely better.”
“A-are you not sick anymore?”
“Yes. I’m fine now.”
Wanui Han answered with a bright smile. Sansan briefly gave his attention to Wanui Han’s nape. She had a handkerchief wrapped around her neck. The weather was quite chilly, so Yeongchae also often wrapped a muffler around Sansan, but since Sansan originally disliked uncomfortable things, he invariably took it off immediately.
“The muffler suits you well. Wear it properly so you don’t catch a cold again.”
Then Wanui Han seemed to pause for a moment. However, she immediately acted as if nothing had happened and smiled while adjusting the handkerchief gracefully.
“Yes. By the way, ten days must have been long after all. Not only His Highness the Eighth Imperial Prince but Orabeoni’s belly has also come out quite a bit in the meantime?”
Then she sent her gaze toward Sansan’s belly with sparkling eyes. Sansan’s face burned as if scorched by fire. Seeing him redden all the way to his earlobes, Wanui Han swallowed her laughter inwardly.
“May I touch it?”
“…Huh, what?”
“I’m curious how much the baby has grown… Would that be too much?”
Wanui Han lowered the corners of her eyes as if regretful. Unable to hide his flustered confusion at that, Sansan finally nodded. Once permission was granted, Wanui Han immediately went to Sansan’s seat and sat down intimately close. Taking advantage of Sansan’s frozen state, her hand touched Sansan’s lower abdomen.
“…The existence called Cheonin truly seems mysterious.”
After touching Sansan’s belly for a while like that, Wanui Han soon withdrew her hand as if nothing had happened and raised her body again.
Since it happened so suddenly, Sansan didn’t know how to react and just smiled with an ambiguous feeling.
That’s when it happened. Gang’s wet nurse court lady lifted Gang, who had been lying in the crib, and spoke.
“Mama. It is time for His Highness the Eighth Imperial Prince to nurse. I will attend to him and return.”
Gang-i, who was now approaching one hundred days old, nursed through a wet nurse at intervals of three to four hours. This would have been so even if Sanwol were alive. No one in the Imperial Palace nursed directly. Of course, if Sanwol were alive, nursing could have been done in her presence, but in Sansan’s case that couldn’t be.
“Y-yes. Please take good care of him.”
The wet nurse court lady bowed slightly while holding Gang-i and left the side hall. Wanui Han, who had been sitting across from Sansan, spoke after the wet nurse court lady had completely disappeared.
“I hadn’t thought about this hardship, but since you can’t directly see whether His Highness the Eighth Imperial Prince eats well, you must be quite worried.”
Footnotes
1) Won (원/元) – Prenatal name meaning “first/principal,” given to Sansan’s unborn child
